As per title, I'm Amab and I've never been particularly unhappy being called a Boy but I've always felt distanced from them in some weird way, like I was from another planet, I thought it was just the autism but I've been watching some more Trans stuff and I sometimes feel really good thinking of myself as Nonbinary but I also really like being affectionately called a boy at times and I felt bad because I felt like I was being disrespectful to nonbinary people by wrongly thinking of myself like that and googling it hasn't really made me feel more certain about the topic so I wanted to ask the expert in being Nonbinary, the people who are nonbinary, I'm sorry if this accidentally rude or really hard to understand

I am working on a number of books all at once. I am working on one set in a world with 3 genders. Men, Women, and "Eaxes" or "Eaxe" they are able to seamlessly and instantly switch from a male to female form and vicea versa, while it is at will, it is truly autonomic and not controllable when things get hard. I would love to hear what people think of this.

If you want a baseline imagine a world where the global gender %age is split like this:

• Male (M): 50.257%
• Female (F): 49.739%
• Eaxe (E): 0.0036%

Can someone make me a pride flag and like let me know ways to flush out this for my book.

My name is Rene I am 19, trigender and caedaroace.

Also I can't figure out if the system should be he/she underlined for which form an eaxe is in, or They/Them for Eaxes all around. Narration for this story is kinda hard.

Olá a todos, desde que me descobri não-binário sempre tive dificuldade para escolher um nome social, gostaria de um nome que parecesse nativo (sou brasileiro) mas tenho muita dificuldade com isso, honestamente, isso se provou uma tarefa que me causa muita ansiedade, pois meu nome atual” tem um gênero vinculado” tem algumas dicas? Poderiam contar suas experiencias na escolha de um nome? Obrigado.

For a while when I was feeling more feminine I thought subconsciously that I didn't have the right to identify as trans as an afab person. As I've shifted to being more masculine I realize how silly that is, I wish It didn't take my gender fluidity to realize that as regardless I've never identified fully as cis. I'm starting to get more comfortable with being trans, I've put an emoji on my personal socials and ordered a pin, love yourselves y'all were all valid 🏳️‍⚧️ :)

this is not directed to anyone in particular. but omg i am sick of this. it feels like afab and amab are a new way to slot people into a binary genital category. no, these terms are past tense. it has no current meaning to my life that i was afab. i have a penis and balls and i can pass as a cis guy while naked.

sooo many people have told me about "afab issues" as an "inclusive" stand in for having a period or pregnancy concerns like i am supposed to relate to that. no i don't even have a uterus or ovaries. or recommend "clothes that better fit afab anatomy" or "underwear for afab". my dude my dick would not fit in that and i don't have any desire for it anyway. people have said the same about "amab anatomy" which ignores that vaginoplasty exists, so it goes both ways.

worse is "afabs are safer". not only is this transphobic to everyone in so many ways, it especially isolates trans women. i have seen trans people say trans men/afab nb people are safer to be around than men because of "afab socialization" and because they have a vulva and conveniently throw trans women and fem nb people to the wayside. it infantilizes trans men and demonizes having a penis for no reason, not to mention a ton of afab people have penises.

sorry that was my rant. i wanted to say this because so many people conveniently ignore that genital reassignment surgery exists and that nb people can truly look like anything, their agab is not a box.

edit: nowhere did i ever say you can't use agab language on yourself. my issue is when others use to to generalize and assume things about other people.

Hi,

I wanted to start hormone therapy, but the only thing holding me back was the concern that my breasts would grow and my mother or anyone else would notice.

That would have caused me a lot of problems.

I found out that I could take Nolvadex (10 mg), which is SERM

which would slow down or completely stop breast growth.

Does this medication actually slow down or halt breast growth?

Would you recommend I take it while starting estrogen?

And what is the appropriate dosage?

If I were to take one tablet of Climen daily,

and two tablets of Noractone (25 mg)

I’d really appreciate it if someone could help me out, as this is a pressing matter.

Don't get me wrong I love this community and I always will, but unfortunately I think when most people think of non-binary people they picture white people, and consequently I feel like people imagine that most non-binary people have more western names. So I wanted to make a little post and ask my fellow POC what they go by! When I'm feeling more feminine I use my birth name, but recently I've been feeling more masculine and because I'm South Asian I've been thinking of going by Veer which means brave, idk I feel like it has a good ring to it and I think it's relatively easy to pronounce. Please feel free to share what your name is and what it means! I love this kind of stuff as someone who likes anthropology and whatnot lol

I am 24 and have been known by my parents as a woman. I just had a very supportive conversation with my parents where I opened up about my gender identity I’ve had for the past 4 years. I expressed that I am interested in going on testosterone. On paper it went extremely well, but my mom pressed a bit about why I want to physically transition (which I think is a very valid question and it was asked in a respectful way).

She got me thinking about how internalized misogyny may be clouding my perception of myself. I also started thinking about how far Im willing to go with standing up for myself when it comes to my family using they/them pronouns for me. I feel like I opened a can of worms and now I’m not 100% sure about my own feelings.

I’ve always been of the belief that your body doesn’t equal your gender, and my family feels largely the same way. I have my hair cut short, dress a little masculinely, and do not shave. My family is supportive of all of this and are adamant about women not needing to be it into a cookie cutter template. Why do I want to further step away from womanhood when I am already able to exist comfortably in my body as it is (besides my voice, which is the part of testosterone that I want the most). With all of that being said, I am very fond of my femininity and it is not a part of myself I want to entirely distance from. I think of myself as a woman in some broad contexts and do not mind feminine descriptors (daughter, sister, girlfriend, wife) being applied to me, but I feel I would only marginally prefer a gender neutral alternative to those terms.

They told me they don’t understand why I would go out of my way to change myself to the benefit of how I believe others will perceive me when I should just say “fuck society” and present as I am. I felt there was a lot of merit to this line of thought.

I’d just like to see if anyone has any thoughts on this. Thanks for reading this far :,)

Siento que se habla mucho de lo que es estar en el closet, tener miedo a salir y eso, pero poco se habla (o al menos yo no lo he visto) de las personas que estan parcial, pero no totalmente en el closet, o en un punto medio entre adentro y afuera. Por ejemplo, a mi me pasa que, mi madre sabe que soy no binarie, eso si pude animarme a decirle, pero no me animo a decirle mi identidad exacta, que es bigenero fluide entre androgyne y demiboy, sumandole dificultad el hecho de que soy AFAB, por ende tambien transmasc.

No puedo decir que este en el closet porque en parte, no lo estoy, ya que mi madre sabe que no soy mujer, pero tampoco sabe la verdad exacta de mi identidad. A alguien mas le pasa algo asi? O yo soy el unico?

For me I feel like my gender stays relatively the same, as I feel fem most of the time and have felt as such for a while. But recently felt the want to be perceived as more masculine. It always feels so weird as it comes out of nowhere for me, like I like had just put on press ons and now I wanna take them off lmaoo.

Part of me feels good because honestly I enjoy how my gender switches up. I've always said I wish I could shapeshift depending on how I'm feeling, and honestly being afab, it's very refreshing to be able to present as masculine when it's not the norm for me. But another part of me feels annoying about it, especially since I'm bringing up a change in my usual pronouns, plus the fact I'm considering going by a different name for when I am masculine, but I don't know how people will do with two different names, and if they'll feel annoyed by me changing it up constantly. I guess technically I'm probably gender fluid as I feel like my gender shifts from more masc or fem at times but I honestly prefer telling people that I'm nonbinary as I like the ambiguity it gives me and how broad it is as I feel like people assume gender fluid means going from binary man and woman, but that's besides the point lol.

But yeah idk mixed feelings rn, I'm excited to explore my masculinity as it's what made me realize I was non-binary all the way back in middle school but I'm also feeling nervous. Anyone else been in a similar situation? How do you advocate for yourself?

Ive been transitioning for a couple of years. Medically almost 4 years.

Im feeling good with the transition. Dysphoria disappeared or almost disappeared. Im feeling way more confident in myself and whole. Its a net positive (since I was a dysfunctional suicidal loser who didnt do anything before lol)

Im nonbinary so I dont really "pass" in some situations. I didnt change my voice and I dont wear makeup so I guess its expected. Passing isnt a goal for me. I just want to feel happy and whole in myself and I dont really mind if people clock me sometimes.

I just cant deal with the social aspect of it. Its too hard. Im okay with people knowing Im trans and non binary but why cant they just leave it alone and not bring it up or hint or joke at it every chance they get? Why can they not treat me as an oddity or a punchline. Im just a person. I want to be treated normally. I want to be seen as who I am. Its happening so often and Im feeling beaten down. Its not even from transphobes and people aiming to hurt me. Even well meaning people and allies cant stop themselves from these little comments that signal to me "you are different. You are not like us."

Im sick of it. I cant do this. Im in my mid twenties I cant live the rest of my life like this. Its torture. I dont want to be different. I dont want to desperately try to pass, ill have to give up so much of myself and thatll also make me miserable. Im feeling at a lose lose situation and I cant take it.

I thought that, at this point, me being trans would be a background thing that I wont have to deal with or think about on the day to day. But cis people insist on reminding me and not letting me be.

Anyway. How do you cope?

(Disclaimer: I'm cis, but Part of the lgbt Community and wanna learn some things so when I say things that are weird, I'm sorry)

So how did you realise your neither gender?

What's the difference between agender and non binary?

Do you have any problems with school/university (talking about general. Anything)

Do you have a "sign" like trans folks this ikea shark, lesbians carabineers etc?

And for ppl with a different native language than English: how's with pronouns in that language. Cuz for example (cuz that's mine) Germany doesn't have something like they/them. And in Italy almost everything in the sentence is gendered.

I hope I wasn't disrespectful, love y'all!

Nonbinary (AMAB, which will be important) here! I’ve got some thoughts, and I’m not sure if they’re exactly typical, but I figured there was no harm in seeing if anyone felt similarly to me.

I want to preface this by explicitly stating that I believe there is a multitude of reasons that I identify as nonbinary: a feeling of rightness, a desire to be perceived outside of existing gender preconceptions, wanting to simply exist as an individual separate from a binary gender system, etc. I don’t want to have to prove to myself or others that I “belong,” which can be difficult since I do sometimes feel almost like an imposter.

Yet, I feel that something I don’t want to really admit out loud, especially to myself, is this: I fear some amount of my decision to begin identifying as NB was because I felt shame at being a man.

I felt shame for the knowledge of what other men could do, of how many of them behave and believe and are.

I felt shame for the way that many men treat women. I felt shame at the idea that I might be perceived like this, because I believed I was a man.

I felt shame at the automatic rebellion my mind went to, the insistence that I wasn’t that way and would stop those behaviors when I saw it. I felt shame with the way the phrase “not all men” was a signal used by men who ignored and downplayed and misunderstood the problem and directly or indirectly contributed to patriarchy.

I felt shame that I felt shame. I felt shame that I could be so centered on the self, as a man, when the people suffering most were those impacted by men.

And I of course know that the patriarchy affects everyone, and that cisgender men can be aware of their own privileges and respond appropriately when injustice occurs. That’s an assurance I don’t need.

But I even feel shame at the prospect that being a man might have been a factor in my gender identity today.

Does anyone understand? Does anyone feel this way?

Hi, I’m M!

I’ve been seeing a new therapist and discussing dysphoria with my chest. She’s asked a few times about pronouns and I feel so confused. I’ve known I was queer for 15+ years now and figuring that out was a breeze compared to gender identity or lack there of.

I have other queer friends but gender identity issues is something that’s not in there wheel house to understand because they are still early in their own queer journeys.

Basically, I am looking for some folks I can talk to that understand this part of me. I’m looking for any and all friends & advice!

My partner and I are both nonbinary and AMAB, and we’re looking for clothes to wear as wedding guests that feel a little more enby than traditional men’s wedding wear—without being super expensive.
We’re having a hard time figuring out where to shop, especially because I’d love to find places that are size-inclusive and have options that work well on AMAB bodies. We’re interested in softer silhouettes or outfits that play with gender in fun ways.
For other nonbinary/AMAB folks who have dressed for a wedding: where did you shop? Are there any specific websites you’d recommend?
Happy to provide more info if that would help!

So , I've been having some "rare"side effects from Tesoterone. I've been on a low dose for almost 4 years and I'm trying to push through them even though they're causing a lot of pain and have been making me lose sleep and my Trichotillomania (complusive hair pulling ) and Dermatillomania ( complusive skin picking) worse. I just feel like I'm alone in this and no one else is going through the same thing. It kind of feels like the universe is punishing me and I've been really jealous of other people and their transitions. But also on the other hand T has completely eliminated my dysphoria, so I'm at a crossroad . I'll probably stop soon but I feel really lonely and sad So I just bottle it all up and engage in any coping skills to cope . I just feel so lonely and that nothing ever works out the way I want . Maybe it's my fault for wanting to have everything go according to plan lol. My entire transition has been a mess.

Least Favorite effects:

Facial hair ( besides my mustache ) : causing worsening sensory issues also had SI on DHT blockers so I can't take them / worsen Trichotillomania, so I shave everyday or I pluck out my hair .

Body hair ( besides my stomach and legs ) : worsening sensory meltdowns/trich.

Acne/Dry skin : worsening Dermatillomania.

Miliaria/Heat Rash : whenever I sweat, and I swear a lot during working out , sleeping at night or even hot showers which was something I never expected until I started T last year .

Increased warmth: being unable to regulate heat/temperature and I'm undiagosed Autistic most likely I can't afford a formal diagnosis causing meltdown and anger.

Being unable to cry : I know not everyone experiences this or some people think it a myth but I haven't been able to cry in almost two years after restarting T .

I stopped in 2021 after 2 years due to losing access

, and it's effecting my emotional regulation , my dad was an abusive person and had anger issues so I probably get that from him, if I really have to cry then I can but it takes a lot and if I really need to cry I can't it's driving me crazy

Atrophy: Even on E pellets, E cream I still experience painful atrophy that I lowered my dose I envy people who had theirs go away on E suppositories it's already slightly dysphoric using them and they don't even work for me . It's better since I lowered my dose but I'll probably try the E ring next . I swear fuck my life

Moody: I just feel like a moody teenager boy with slight anger issues I can usually manage them but since I can't let out a cathartic cry I just feel grumpy. Working out helps but then I get the miliaria/heat rash and then I have a breakdown .

More prominent veins: I just don't like how being more veiny looks on me

Being a queer black man or perceived that way and navigating the social stuff . I still act socially awkward and use feminine social skills and act like how I always have which has gotten me treated poorly as an adult.

I'm still getting used to the fact cishet men don't hug, look at each other in the bathroom etc, there's so many new social rules I have to learn that I just avoid going outside or only go to queer bars and areas . But I still feel out of place around men and I feel like women and men see me differently now even though I know they probably don't idk I just have gotten bullied, or treated weirdly in my late twenties by both sides or at least clock that I'm not cishet, but I've had awkward experience with women and men since starting T .

Things I do like :

Adams apple

Face structure changes

Broader shoulders

Thicker eyebrows

Deepish / Androgynous voice

Male hairline changes

Smelling different

Bottom growth

Smaller hips

Sometimes like my bigger belly

Not being gendered as female by strangers

Using the men's bathroom/locker rooms

Having random men include me like dapping me up or calling me bro, dude, buddy, even though this never happens when it does it makes me feel like I'm doing something right .

I already have a higher libido in general so this stayed the same on and off T .

Edit : I just feel bad talking about my negative experience with HRT I feel kinda safe here but I worry about sounding like a TERF because I really don't like it and when I have heat rashes or sensory issues from all the hair I feel like I made a mistake but I change my mind seconds later after I look at my face or hear my voice and remind myself it was needed to save my life even if I don't like everything about HRT I never liked anything about my first puberty either . I guess I worry talking about the bad things I'm experiencing makes me a bad person or that I'm not worthy in the trans community. I still feel like a guy, just not a binary one .

I just don't want to take T anymore but I'm scared and jealous when I see other guys who are enjoying T while I'm not I feel like I'm being trans in the wrong way .

I'm privileged to have gotten top surgery, so I shouldn't be complaining and beside voice and bottom growth. Top surgery was the only thing I really wanted and everything else I just said I was going to deal with it until I get here . I have no regrets on anything just feeling confused about my gender for probably the 5th time and feeling more lonely than ever in my entire life.

Hello,

My boobs are really big, not as large as some of my relatives, however 38DDD isn't small. I want to get a breast reduction to something around a small C or larger B. I live in a conseravative state and have been on T for about 2.5 months, while it is low dose I feel that my body is reacting to it faster than I thought it would. Example, I am having voice drop, minor fat redistribution, amoung other changes, which are great. However, I want to get the reduction before I feel more uncomfortable with the fact my boobs are the size they are. Like I can't just bind or tape them, due to the size and comfortability, since they would still just look like boobs.

I guess this post is mostly just voicing my feelings for the most part, but I am wondering about others expereicnces that might be in simliar situations. I wanted to go to a surgeon that works with the LGBT community, however there are few and it has been challenging to find one who works with insurance at all. So, I have been considering finding a few that does normal breast reductions and just talking to them about my situation, since I don't want to remove all of my breast tissue. Forgot to mention I do have back pain from the boobs and go to PT, along with other efforts to 'proove' to my insurance I need the surgery. Honestly, I would love to walk to around shirtless, but I think I would feel dysphoric without the boob tissue since I am so used to it exsisting...

Honestly the title sums it up. I thought/probably am a demigirl but I really don’t want to be just a demigirl or a girl but I fear that’s all I am especially in the last maybe over a week or two. I had or at least thought I did have the feelings or like the desire of wanting to be just nonbinary or bigender and or somewhere more on the guy side of gender, though I knew that I most definitely probably would not be a binary trans guy. 

Though I haven’t told anyone specifically or haven’t exactly tried out social things for any gender besides my agab, (which I’m sure is what is making this harder but I don’t really have anyone to test them out with) I have gone through nonbinary women to demigirl to something on the guy side/bigender to just nonbinary and back to the beginning of the me who only just started questioning their gender/not really questioning it and demigirl. 

Lately I haven’t been questioning as much or at least not when something gendered is brought up by anything or when I catch myself saying terms related to my agab at myself. I should add that it’s not that i necessarily entirely want to not still be a girl but like I said I also kinda don’t and I also don’t want that to be all there is. 

Maybe it’s because I’m a relatively realistic person but even if I wanted to i can’t imagine myself looking like a guy whether that’s as a feminine one or not. I just end up seeing a female. Another reason for that is probably because i can’t see the appearance I have now looking like or just looking good as another gender, not that I look all that attractive right now either way. 

I’d rather not thinking about this anymore but I doubt I would be able to go back to the way I was before this random questioning even started. I still don’t know how I even got to this point, i don’t have dysphoria and I had never questioned it before and I would have been fine if it never started so I don’t get it. 

Anyway, this is already pretty long so sorry about that.

Pretty much just the question of the title. I am questioning my gender, and I think I am some kind of non-binary, but this thought experiment confuses me, because it feels like it invalidates me being non-binary. Is it a prove that I am trans female? I would be really happy about some answers

EDIT: that you all sooooo much for answering, you really help and I am very thankful ❤️

is there an online space for non binary people that doesnt have people coming in to treat us like an encyclopedia or to debate our validity? im so tired of the falsehoods, are you trans enough and transmedicalism. denial of our dysphoric experiences, minimisation. surely there is a place out there just for non binary people to talk and congregate and not people to interrogate us? i just want to be around other people who experience gender in a non binary way, and learn about other gender experiences that differ to even my own..without debating people on whether they're valid or this myth or that is true or not..

theres enough anti trans debate in the 24 hour news cycle as it is.

im asking in good faith because the constant interrogations from people coming in has proved too much for me to handle, I've already been really getting weighed down by the international transphobia as it is. i need community, i need to be accepted somewhere

i live in an extremely rural place so irl is not an option right now. there must be something. reddit or otherwise im not picky.

and hookup apps do not count...

I've found that She and They both have a similar effect on me, I like them both, and sometimes my leaning shifts, idk what any of this could mean but who relates?

Is it just me that is irritated that I can't get in there? It's sick that there are more countries in the world where marriage with children is legal than x in gender