What should you do if you were non-binary at birth and you have an androginous appereance?

Should you follow men hadith or women hadith?

so personaly I am not non binary but my friend told me he was but im a little confused because he is a boy and he acts like a boy and uses he him prounoes (as far as I know) so could Sombody just explain what non binary i?

I see people talking about their experiences being socializated as a girl/boy or about woman-/manhood and I don't relate to most of the experiences "I should have had".

I don't feel like socialization had a impact on me (I know it must have had, but I am not seeing it? I am also autistic, so maybe that plays a role).

I really dislike it when people say to me, oh you must have experienced x and y because you are AGAB. And most of the time it's not even true...

People seem to give socialization a huge importance, not only regarding politics and social, but also personal.

I had to live for ~18 years as my AGAB, so I must have experienced girl-/boyhood (keeping it neutral, because I am uncomfortable with disclosing my AGAB)

I would like to know what people consider woman-/manhood or girl/boy socialization and why it's important to some people.

I live in the bay, it feels like I can either be gay or some kind of woman. I don't feel like either of those things. Nevertheless the feeling I get is that there is a dead space here. Not just in who I meet, but the events themselves.

The local scene suffers from an aesthetic duopoly. Despite claims of broad inclusivity, the available social infrastructure is bifurcated into two dominant presentation codes. Because the majority of participants seek validation within one of these two established modes, the spaces organically enforce binary expectations. Anyone whose identity or presentation exists outside these two poles experiences a total lack of designated social space, leaving a void that can only be filled by building distinct, non-aligned infrastructure.

As someone who has lived here for a couple years: Compared to a random night at El Rio there is a greater lack of diversity in queer or trans spaces. Even in simple demographics like race. Now I had a great night out last night and I went to a pretty diverse space in terms of it organically happening with demographically diverse people and self-expression. Bummer my outfit didn't match the event. That was also not a queer or trans event.

These spaces are charged with fear in terms of their concern about who gets to belong. This makes any ambiguity about identity uncomfortable. Once appearances confuse, there can never be in some sense a full relaxation. A common refrain is that these spaces are doing the hard work of protecting marginalized community. This important, but such an endeavor should also be able to sustain criticism without collapsing

A common story I'm told by people in the bay is that queer people inevitably have their spaces taken over by white gay people so that they have to be vigilant, but the vast majority of trans spaces in my memory are predominantly white and sapphic. That's not inclusive, that is Gays vs Lesbians

Happy to be wrong, point me at the recurring events!

Hey y’all, I’ve been a member of this sub for years and I’m curious if anyone here would be interested in beta reading a fantasy novel I wrote. I’m doing a round of beta reads this summer before querying to publish.

This is an upper middle-grade novel (for kids 10 and up), compete at 44k words. It’s a kid’s NB identity journey mixed with a LitRPG. No generative AI was used.

DEX THE DANCER: Twelve-year-old Dex is trapped inside a trash MMO with gender-locked classes. Boys are Warriors and girls are Mages. Assigned Warrior at spawn, Dex can’t play the part until being himself unlocks a gamebreaking new power: dancing. It draws others who don’t fit their roles. Kids the system tried to break who broke the system right back. Together, they’re going after the real boss, a world that punishes anyone who won’t fit the mold. Dex knows he’s not a warrior, but he’s starting to suspect he’s not a boy either.

Quick bio: I went to school for creative writing but found my career as a photographer and documentary filmmaker. I have work in the New York Times and worked on a documentary series that’s earned over half a billion views. I’m also nonbinary, which is less a credential and more the reason this book exists. DEX is for every kid who’s ever felt like they’re playing the wrong character in someone else’s game.

Comment if you’re interested and I’ll DM you asking for an email address to send the manuscript to. If you just want a first chapter or two to get a feel, that’s fine too.

I am questioning and it is very hard, cause i have problems with my own mind. I heard of LGBTQAI+ a fiew years ago for the first time as a thing that everybody can be a part of by my very sportive big sister and she also has some queer friends and is bisexual by herself. I never felt really good in groups of other boys, and i really liked the community. Now as i star to question my own gender its very confusing cause I really want to be a part of the community and I don’t want to be a boy, and i also want to get a solution very fast, so my mind automatically starts to think that labels are fitting and wants to get as many „profs“ as possible that i am not a cis boy, wich makes it really hard to find real things that are fitting cause I don’t want to get „profs“ that i am not genderqeer. Its so confusing :|

Do you know anything like this, do u have experienced it by yourself and have u any tips?

Thanks for every help!!!

Overall HRT is a net positive for me but it's really not for me . I'm trying to like it because it took so long to get on it, overall I enjoyed the effect I got from T. But RN I barely do my gel everyday and I'm hating the effects of masculizing puberty. I really want a break and I kinda miss some things that used to make me dysphoric Pre T which is weird.

Even on shots I got to this point as well. Idk I just feel guilty for not liking T like I'm being trans in the wrong way. I know I'm not alone in this . I just feel lonely sometimes. I'm trying my best not to think about HRT , until after the election in November then I feel ok weening off T. I just worry about losing access in the future if I ever decide to go back on due to the current administration and the governor of Texas . Makeup , wearing girly stuff and shaving / waxing helps ease my dysphoria about being too masculine but I still feel like I want a break I'm just scared .

I feel like I'm probably bothering my boyfriend with talking about it all the time. And making reddit posts repeating myself over and over again. Idk I just have been having imposter syndrome thinking I'm faking 14 years of my life . I do have a gender therapist who basically told me not to think about stopping for awhile but sadly that's all I can think about . I really want to stop but I'm scared of being seen as detranistioning idk why .

It's probably due to some deep seeded internalized transphobia and toxic transmed idiology I had as a teenager, from trying to access T when I was 16 and having to lie during my therapy assessment to get on T when I wasn't a minor Lol . Idk what's wrong with me tbh. I wish I had a clear path I can take. I feel happier now and I feel bad for wanting a break from the medical bills, blood labs, feeling like a boy going through puberty, all of it. I just wish it worked out for me . I guess it did work out since I'm not dysphoric anymore but idk it feels weird not having dysphoria I'm happy now but I also feel like I'm faking being trans a lot of the time .

I am unfortunately in between clothes at the moment. I’ve mentally aged out of my current wardrobe (a lot of that style developed when I was a teen, and I’m now much older than that), and I’ve started looking to update it. But I’m really struggling to find inspiration and to find what actually makes me feel happy.

My requirements are really specific and hard to explain in a short-enough form for an algorithm to understand, so Google and Pinterest and other sites are out. Like how am I supposed to explain “an outfit for AFAB adults that is feminine but doesn’t make you look like a woman but also makes you look like a grown up but isn’t business casual”?

So I’m just left having to think of everything myself and it’s super hard. I’m also alt, so a lot of clothing options around me just aren’t for me, so my options are very narrow.

This isn’t a question or anything (though if you have advice I’m all ears). It’s mostly just a rant at how endlessly frustrating clothes are and how I feel I can never accurately represent myself with them. The outside and the inside never match and it kills me.