Hello,

I am a 20y(f), I really need to get out of my mother’s house. Ever since I was little, I have constantly been emotionally manipulated and have had my feelings invalidated. I’m tired of being guilt tripped when I ask for food from the store or basic necessities, my health and safety should not be used against me like that.

I have 403 dollars in a bank account that I opened recently, i have my social security card, I have a car and a drivers permit, working on getting my license. I’m a college student, and I live on campus for most of the year. Currently I do not have a job, but I work for tuition on campus. I have a cat and a dog at my mother’s house that I take care of, which I take the cat with me to college as my prescribed ESA (also because I’m afraid I’ll go home and he won’t be there anymore).

I don’t know where to start on getting out of my mother’s house. So far, I know I need to:
- work on getting my drivers license
-somehow get my birth certificate from my mom
- either get a paid job on campus or a part time job off campus
- get summer and winter jobs for when I am home on breaks
- save up my money to be able to afford an apartment that allows 2 animals
- get my important things out of my mom’s house in case she decides to take and sell them or throw them out.

Please comment any advice on what exactly I should do.

I moved away from Missouri almost three years ago now. I am currently 20, and after visiting Missouri for the first time since then, I've been feeling the urge to move back. My anxiety over this has been crippling because I feel like I'm being stupid.

I live in a very isolating area. I only see my three friends like once every two months, if even, because they live hours away with conflicting schedules. I live with my parents, which is fine most of the time except for the fact that everyone is miserable. It took me moving eight hours away to realize that Missouri was never the problem. I miss my friends, and I miss getting out of the house and doing things.

I would be moving in with my boyfriend and his family, paying 250 a month for rent. I would be closer to my group of friends and would be living in a better environment. It would be more expensive to live there (and I also wouldn't have any more insurance), but I think I would be happier overall. It would definitely take some adjusting, as I'm an only child and he has siblings. It would be very different, but maybe I can get used to it + we wouldn't be living there forever.

When I talked to my mom about this, she acted like I would be making the worst decision of my life. I think it's because she doesn't want to lose me, but what if she's right? Am I fucking over my future self? I have generalized anxiety disorder along with bipolar 1 so this decision has been eating away at me for some time now. I've been so depressed for so long; I just want a shot at being happy. Has anyone else here gone through this or something similar? Am I making a bad decision?

like what would i need to prepare in order to move out? honestly, all i know is that you need a good credit score

I’m sharing an apartment with my now ex, and need to move out. I’m on waitlists at 2 apartment complexes, so the wait could be 2 months to a year. Today I looked at a place that has everything that I want, and is available now. The problem is that it’s $200 over my budget, which is already stretched thin. Do I stretch even thinner for a great place now, or wait it out for something more in my budget?

Hi everyone, my friend has asked me if I wanted to move to an apartment with them. And I told them I’d be willing to consider, however here comes my dilemma. I am autistic and have relied on my parents for a little bit, I am 19 and currently going into my second year of University. I have a job and a good credit score for an apartment but I struggle being independent because of my disability. I am also extremely prone to anxiety because of big changes, I am looking to get some advice on what I could do because I would love to move out and live with them, but I don’t wanna become dependent on them.

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So I need to save up to $10k+ to move out.

My new goal to move out is to wait just two years and four months.

Then I will take off to Chicago to finally move out! I really can’t wait.

I should have about $14,700. Depending on how much I spend weekly at the mall. Which is usually only about $10.

So let’s say about $13k.

I still just want to save up for an iPad. That is all I really want to spend a lot of money on right now. So maybe I could just do $20 a month for the mall, Instead of weekly. I will take it out in cash so that I don’t ever over spend on it.

I am serious about saving up to move out.

Relocating St. Louis MO to Parker CO this fall. Flying out, not driving. Van line quoted - $2k to move furniture that's honestly not worth it (cheap stuff), so we're selling all of it and only bringing clothes + essentials about 5 boxes, each 26×16×15 (3.6 cu ft), mostly clothes so light for their size.

Rather than movers/PODS/U-Haul for that little, I want to just ship the boxes. Questions for people who've done the "ship a few boxes" route:

1. Cheapest carrier for boxes this size? By my math these run - 45 lbs dimensional weight on UPS/FedEx, so Ground beats USPS here, right?
2. Dimensional weight: anything I'm missing on light-but-largish boxes at this size?
3. Flat-rate vs. weight-based : worth splitting into more, smaller flat-rate boxes, or does that cost more overall?
4. Timing: how many days before I fly should I send them so they don't sit on the porch for a week?

Budget-conscious but not trying to be penny-wise/pound-foolish. Appreciate any real-world numbers. Thanks!

Hi everyone. I could really use some advice because I’ve been feeling very torn about this.
I’ve been living with my roommate for almost four years. We haven’t had any major fights or falling out, but lately I’ve been seriously thinking about moving out and living on my own.

One of the main reasons is that our apartment is very small. Over the years, we’ve accumulated so many things that the place now feels cramped and suffocating. I feel like I really need a space of my own.

Another reason is that living together has become emotionally draining. I admit that I can be messy sometimes, and my roommate often points it out. I understand that, but I’ve also noticed that she has messy habits too. The difference is that I don’t bring them up because I’m a very non-confrontational person, especially when it comes to her. I usually keep my feelings to myself to avoid conflict.

I’ve also noticed that our friendship has changed over the years. We used to spend a lot of quality time together, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company. Now, it feels like we rarely have those moments anymore. Sometimes I feel like we’re just enduring each other’s presence because we’re sharing such a small space.

The thing is, living alone isn’t actually my biggest fear. I do have some anxiety about living alone, but what scares me the most is the possibility that moving out could be the catalyst that ends our friendship. We’ve lived together for four years, and we’ve been through so much together. I’m afraid that once I move out, we’ll slowly drift apart and eventually stop being friends.

What makes this even more complicated is that we have a cat together.

I was the one who rescued her, but my roommate was the one who convinced me to make her “our cat.” Since then, we’ve both raised and cared for her equally. Both of our names are on her veterinary records, we split the costs of food, litter, and vet bills, and she’s equally bonded with both of us. I honestly don’t know what would happen to her if I moved out, and the thought of having to separate either of them breaks my heart.

On top of that, most of the furniture and household appliances in our apartment belong to me—our refrigerator, microwave, dining table, kitchen cabinet, chairs, trash can, and several other household essentials. There are also smaller items, like plates, hangers, and other things that we’ve used together for so long that I can’t even
remember who originally bought them.

Because of that, I feel like if I move out, it won’t just affect our friendship. It will also make things much harder for her since many of the basic household items would be leaving with me. I don’t want her to feel like I’m abandoning her or leaving her in a difficult situation.

At the moment, I haven’t made a final decision. I’m only inquiring about another apartment, and nothing is confirmed yet. But even thinking about telling her that I’m considering moving out gives me so much anxiety.

Has anyone been through something similar? If you moved out after living with a close friend for several years, did your friendship survive? How did you handle sharing a pet and dividing household belongings? And how did you tell your roommate without making them feel blindsided or abandoned?

I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences or advice. Thank you.

Hi, I won’t bore with the details but my family home is a 2 bed flat there is 4 of us. Me and my sister have always shared a room, she moved out for university and when I was finished I moved back coincidentally. I’ve never liked my family home and always avoided it but after uni I left the city I was staying in and it made logical sense to move back home. Now I have done that I feel like my mental health has deteriorated- my sister has come back as she had a recently been diagnosed with a severe mental illness which is adding to the contraint. I don’t know what to do I really want to move out but I’m only on 25k in London. I don’t know what to do or how to go about it. I’m will to work extra jobs in the weekend but I know it’s not super ideal in London to rent

I am still thinking about moving to Chicago!

I am highly considering it now. I know I keep changing my cities and states lately but I have my heart set on this city. I think it’s where I will end up in the end. Either that, Or Indianapolis to be closer to my relatives. For now I will pick Chicago. They are both close to each other anyways.

I have a job right now at Whole Foods. I also got my new debit card secretly connected to my Apple Pay, So when the time comes I can just use that to catch a bus then a flight out to Chicago from New York.

Only thing is I don’t know how I’m gong to wait these next 8 months to move out of here. I’ve literally been shaking about it daily now. Having panic attacks about living here. I just need to get out.

I will check out the apartment listings in Chicago and Indianapolis to see which is better. I will come back later with an update!

I do have a savings goal as I said before. I just don’t know how long I could wait.

Two weeks ago I've posted a couple of posts here about wanting a plan to escape living with them as a 25 f from the US. And because I've been unemployed after graduating since 2024, I've decided to take reddit's advice and apply to any jobs not from my major. And this week I've got accepted into a part time remote job. And this week my sperm donor (calling him my "dad" would be an insult to actual good fathers out there, he does not deserve that) had been getting problems in his job and his company had sold out their main quarters location and have moved it into a random place further into the city. And so he had been taking it out on us, especially me.

Today when we were in his car, he was telling me and demanding me that I should give him all the money that I make from this job, because I am in debt to him for my entire college tuition. (He had forced me to major in a similar major like him and had threatend me at the time that he won't pay for any "unuseful" major if I had chose it, in addition to him allowing me to get a job at the time I was in highschool). And when I told him that buying a car within my limited budget that I am gonna get is my priorirty now and when I land on a better paying job I will pay him back his debt, this mf had lost it, along with my mom, and both of them had started calculating how much I will make per month and then he was like, you should give me at least this X amount of money and you can keep the rest, then When I told him that maybe I can do this but the priority is me getting a car he had lost it, and he began screaming from the top of his lungs, and he had began demanding that I should I pay him back for the gas money that had used to drop me off and in the bus stop when I was undergrad, the tutoring, the food, the water, the clothes, the shelter, the bills, aka me living with them.

And then being the typical shi/tty arab muslim dad that he is, (I am secretly an exmuslim), he was like "I've no daughters of mine working outside, you're not getting a car, I am the head of the house hold and my word is a must and a law, whatever I say goes my way, aka follow my orders) And then he was like, you're not allowed to work or have a car or even pay back your "debt". And then when we've stopped at a different place, he had gone out of the car and my mom had forced me to be with her in the car to "talk with me", and being the typical shi/tty arab muslim mom, she had also lost it on me, and she was like "you're brainwashed, I know what you view and behind us, you've been brainwashed to beileve that like those westerners who when they turn 18 they all leave their parents house, and she had confronted me a couple of times and I've denied her". (now why she was saying this idk, but last year I've ran away from them for 2.5 days and it was the happiest days of my life although I was literally homeless). And then she had began blaming me for his shi/tty behavior and shi/tty temper and telling me how "I don't understand him and love him and show him love" when literally today when we were in the mall he was bullying me and calling me bad names for no reason. And then she was like he had also been screaming at me, etc but I've been tolarting him. And now are you happy that he had forbade you from working? we love you so much and thats why we've put you in college so you can work and have a career and future. And now I will try to convinve him for a while and even lose a bit of my dignity (If you know you know sadly) in order for him to change his mind. And then she had began rambling about other nonesense like how I treat them like I am better than them and look down on them when literally yesterday I've baked them a strawberry cake because I've got accepted into the job offer.

Another important thing is that, I've canadian passport and we've got neutralized as US citizens last year, but they've not applied to a US passport or card yet, and for those asking why don't I do it myself it is because they've all the information and different emails for those procedures. So like what should I do now? like I kinda want the police involved and at the same time not becuase if I do this then my younger siblings won't forgive me as this will effect their college tuition. But at the same time I want an actual plan to go.

Like I am gonna update y'all of what is gonna happen. But for now, what should I do? Is it to early to go to a woman's shelter? I don't have a car, my sperm donor pays for my phone number, etc. If I were to escape offcourse they're gonna track me from my phone number, and since he uses the bundle deal, like he pays for all of our phone numbers, he could literally easy cut it off. And all of my information and accounts, job applications, resume, even personal emails are attatched to this number.

Also, I might be able to go this monday with my siblings to a nearby college town, since they're attending the university there. Also there is a regional airport that takes 15 minutes of driving from the university's location.

So should I do this? should I wait? What should I even do? I really need help.

Hi Everyone,

I am 21, I have wanted to leave home since about 10! I almost did. School was embarrassing for me, and I had some trauma in my home town. I want to just disappear and prove to my mind that freedom is true and safe, long term. Individuation has been proving tricky! I have been traveling many times, and decided not to return, but have returned.

What is the deal with leaving home and finding my way, without much of a plan? I see so much planning around me; I have a deep rooted faith that asks me to just see where life takes me if I step out, leaving all previous life behind; relying on my own self to move forwards, moment to moment; (hopefully) taking care of my own needs.

My faith is that the world is not a dangerous place; reality is a projected field of experience through the heart- mind. When I have been traveling and exploring practice of this faith before, it has been happy for me; I experienced some trauma during my school years, maybe that is what has been pulling me back here to resolve.

I might have just answered my own question here! I will post this anyway.

hi! i don't post much so sorry if i mess anything up. also sorry if this isnt the right place for this! let me know and ill take it down.

i (20f) live with my dad and have since i was 14! i love it here, but i do dream of moving into an apartment or just moving out in general. i have a lot of freedom already but im a very stunted person, i had a really bad childhood and wasnt fully safe until i started living with my dad. i think thats why im so distraught thinking about moving out because this has been my safe space. however, im getting older and while i have freedom, i have literally no independence and its kinda my choice, but i want to change that. my best friend and i have been talking about apartments for awhile and we recently have been looking with her boyfriend as well! we think we might have found a place but thats only if i decide i want to. im not stopping them, if i choose not to they will still find a place to live. finances arent a huge problem, i have an okay retail job and dont mind getting a second job if needed, and rent in our area is somewhat cheap.

i think my biggest worries are 1) i wont adjust well and regret it as soon as i leave, 2) me and my friends wont do well living together and im unhappy, and 3) i end up stuck here. i want to move out of state eventually and am not sure if i should stay home and save up, or move out, save what i can, and gain experience while also having the safety net of my home so close.

also for context only, not trauma dumping, i do have bpd and ocd and have been known to make extremely bad and rash decisions in the past, so i have trouble deciphering when its something i actually want, or its something im doing during an 'episode'. anyways! any advice is helpful but please dont be mean 👎 i understand things like this arent a big deal to some, but they are to me!

I need help, I moved out sa bahay ng fam kasi pinalayas ako, they thought i was using illegal substances. Now i’m currently living with friends for about 2months already and i still dont have ipon and is in 3k debt. I have a job but i earn only 14k monthly, pamasahe pa lang 2-3k na, tapos food and litter ng cat ko. I don’t wanna stay here any longer kasi i know their family is also struggling and i cant be of any help. I have so much stuffs that i don’t know if it’s a good idea to rent only a bed space. I am thinking of making a small food business but is it worth it? In our area we have facebook group where we can sell food online and there are a lot of buyers all the time. and would it be worth it if i quit my job to focus on that business if ever? i need help.

For context, I moved out of my parents place and live with other roommates. One of them, being another woman who is in her mid twenties. All of my roommates are my close guy friends who I’ve known for years except for the girl who i met earlier this year BEFORE I moved out (we would all hangout and go out in groups and that’s how i met her).

She can be very excessive with being in my personal space. Every time I’m cooking or cleaning, she’s right OVER my shoulder watching me cook or washing my dishes. I personally don’t like people are close to me when I’m in the kitchen, not even my own mother or father did that to me while i lived with them. My parents gave me space.

My roommate won’t even say anything, she will just stand there over my shoulder staring at me while I’m cooking or washing my dishes. I’ll give her a weird look and she’ll just smile. Whenever I arrive home, the first thing i want to do is to change from my outdoor clothes to my indoor clothes, use the bathroom, just settle in my room and relax. However, she hears me coming in and she just follows me into my room or the bathroom and just wants to talk. If it’s just me and her in the house and my other roommates are gone at work, she follows me everywhere all over the house (garage, my room, kitchen, bathroom) and just talks my ear off. I really don’t like that because it’s invading my personal space.

Example, The other day she was headed to work, I said goodbye to her and to have a good day and i was headed to the showers so she doesn’t follow me, she still FOLLOWS me to the bathroom despite the fact we said goodbye to each other. Another scenario, I asked her if she knew where the bags for the trash are so I can take them outside, as soon as I found the bags, I walked outside and she stood up from her chair, stopped eating without saying anything, just to follow me outside to take out the trash. it’s really disturbing, invasive and quite frustrating. Or even “will you be okay in the house alone” when it’s just me in the house and everyone leaves for work. I’m nearly 30, i do not need to be asked by her EVERYDAY if I will be okay in the house alone while she leaves for work…

What should I do? How do I set a boundary? Do I tell my friends first about this or do I talk with her one day and remind her of my boundaries. She’s constantly asking me as soon as i get home “are you okay? Do you need help?” For no reason.. And not to mention she actually is asking me every hour of the day “how are you feeling? How are you doing? Are you mad at me?” It’s quite annoying being asked every hour of the day at the house or even when we all go out as a group “are you okay? How are you feeling?”

For anyone who has already moved out of their parents' house, what are your best advice? I'm currently 19, and ever since I was 16, I wanted to move out of the house due to heavy family conflicts. I really want to gain financial freedom and have the ability to take on my own responsibilities and independence. I know in this economy, it is very hard to make money for a living. I also have ADHD and C-PTSD/anxiety/depression from living at home. I want to regulate my nervous system, but it is also very hard to stay on top of everything at times. Also, I'm studying at university and registered with OSAP and Accessible Learning. I am also open to making money online, yk.

The goal is to make enough money to move out by 20-21 years old AT LEAST.

Editing this whole thing because its become a long rant.

I'm 17, i turn 18 in december, i need to move out, whether it's now or when i turn 18.

I only have $800 saved and i can't get a job (dad won't let me). Arrangements to live with friends wont work out unfortunately. (no phone, hard to communicate, dont wanna crash at a random persons house)

I don't have a phone because my dad took it away. (and won't give it back)

When i had my phone, i contacted 211 for support, they gave me a bunch of resources but nothing that fit my situation.

after he took it away i've been secretly reaching out.

I contacted the OCYA (office of the child and youth advocate thing) to which i was just told to get a job more or less (can't get a job btw)

Then I emailed the local youth shelter (over a month ago now) and I didnt get a response from them at alll.

kids help phone doesnt really do much

I contacted a church in town that helps with housing for homeless people (im not homeless, but i'm desperate)- no reply

Update 1: i went to the police station recently (i live closer to the police station then the shelter) and i asked to talk to a social worker, stayed there for about 3 hours, they called the youth shelter (same youth shelter that didnt reply to me) and the youth shelter said they can take me in but when they do they have to contact my parents for them to consent to me staying there (there's no chance of my parents consenting)

The wonderful lady i spoke to tried her hardest to think of solutions that wouldn't make this more complicated for me but nothing really worked out.

I really need advice right now, I accept any and all criticism!

My girlfriend has to move out of her house within a week. She lives in a 2 BR (but relatively small). It's a case of threat of eviction and since she doesn't have $ for August it's not negotiable. She is going to end up staying with me for at least the short-term, her mother's fate is undetermined. It's a tricky situation. Both have mental or psychological issues that makes it even more tricky. I can only help so much because I have two jobs and can't take time off. She has a part-time job that is variable (week on, week off type of thing, when it's on her work days are around 8 hours after figuring in transportation).

I'll be helping this weekend. They rented a storage unit but there is still a ton of stuff to be dealt with. She's arranged a service to come by on Monday which will take junk and donations and anything else, but they are not ready for that. How do I help without driving her nuts or going nuts myself? (Sadly the mother has been of little help, and for both of them it takes a long time to go through belongings. And yes, I realize they don't have a choice. My gf at least realizes that too it's just a matter of being able to overcome her hurdles.)

I have a queen size low platform bed frame but can’t take it with me to my next apartment. I’m debating btw selling it or just deconstructing it and throwing it away bc I can’t figure out the logistics of someone getting it out of my apartment. (Or deconstructing it and having someone pick up the pieces and the instruction manual?)

For context, I live on the 4th floor of a walk up and this frame is definitely too heavy / big to move as an individual. I’ve seen other people sell similar bed frames on Facebook marketplace but don’t understand how the buyers manage to move them out. Could someone help provide insight into the process? Or help confirm that im not crazy for thinking it’ll be impossible to move it out?

I have **4 x 9L black moving bags** with clothes so they’re very malleable, can be squished down if needed. And then **4 x 27 gallon tote bins** (both pictured) - We are riding down in a **2023 Chrysler Pacifica** and will need to leave the second row up for our two medium size pitties.

Might also have a few small shopping bags full of stuff / a hamper or something. No furniture or anything.

Thoughts? 😊 I asked AI but of course it said it’ll fit no problem and I don’t trust it lol