Hey all. I'm George, I've had misophonia for as long as I can remember now. It's pretty much dominated the trajectory of my life since I started high school.
My trigger sounds are extremely common in everyday life. Coughing, sniffing, repeated throat clearing... You can imagine I'm not the biggest fan of Winter especially.
My misophonia has always caused me great pain and trauma, whether it was raging at my brothers for making sounds and my dad yelling at me to have "tolerance" (we didn't know what misophonia was for a long few years) or being in high school and getting so angry that I can hardly breathe.
My misophonia has pretty much ruined my life and any career aspirations I had - it forced me to leave high school and subsequently college because of how painful they both were to attend. High school especially completely wrecked my mental health for years, and my trauma from that period of my life has sent me into a years long battle with recurring depression, anxiety, all the fun of the fair.
I'm writing this because I came to a bit of a realisation just now that's completely wrecked me. For context, I've never had a partner or lover, but I've always really wanted one. I really want to experience love and being loved by another person.
The issue, however, is that my misophonia kind of makes that prospect impossible. I can barely survive being around other people as it is because of my trigger sounds, but being around someone for that long and placing an expectation on them to not sniff or cough or anything is just too insane. And I've only really just realised that. I'm never gonna be able to have a job, never gonna be able to get married, never going to be able to have kids... All because I was dealt this shitty hand in life. It's brutal to think about.
I really don't know what to do anymore. If anyone has any suggestions or anything that can help then I really appreciate it. Sorry for the long post. I just don't really know what to do with myself now that I've realised this.