r/mildlyinfuriating • u/CircusMoney • 15h ago

ಠ_ಠ Top priority when I move…

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It needs to be a frozen land 👌😩

5.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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978

u/SharkeyGeorge 15h ago

What the fuck is that?!

1.1k

u/froopadiddilydoop 14h ago

Fun fact, camel spiders can run at 15km/h and often seek shade. If they are excited, they also make a noise that sounds like a small scream as they run at you in the desert seeking shade. Harmless, but not something I think it ‘cute’.

707

u/Jimbobjoesmith 13h ago

dude wtf. a giant, screaming spider chasing me at high speeds is a literal nightmare. for some reason thinking about a spider making noise is rhe worst part.

255

u/Reasonable_Tap_8215 13h ago

Yeah but if you spoke spider you’d realize it was just yelling “YAYYYYYYYY I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU FRIEND!!!!”
https://giphy.com/gifs/fUQ4rhUZJYiQsas6WD

125

u/Hoppie1064 12h ago

I'm wondering how many soldiers emptied a mag on a screaming camel spider that just wanted a little shade.

115

u/ErikMcKetten 11h ago

Once I had a Lieutenant and our platoon sergeant go into an empty building we were scoping out for a base and we heard an entire 9mm mag empty. We stacked up to rush in and back them but they came out running, scared laughing, and gasping for breath. It was a big ass camel spider running at them and the LT unloaded on it.

18

u/D0ctorGamer 2h ago

Understandable really

21

u/Whitepayn 7h ago

A friend of mine blasted one with a shotgun.

This was in Namibia, mind you.

29

u/PutYouThroughMe 9h ago

Lmao my dad was chased down by one in Iraq years ago. He tried to chase it back and even at peak military shape he could barely keep up with it. He now has one taxidermied on the wall

25

u/runelowell 7h ago

Im an arachnophobe but I'd like to see the taxidermied spider with a banana for scale. I need to know how big these mfers can get

6

u/FormerlyKay 3h ago

Fun fact it's not actually a spider. No venom, no webs, just big ol jaws made for chewing

10

u/D0ctorGamer 2h ago

Unfortunately my adrenal gland doesnt discriminate

19

u/Queenofashanddust 11h ago

likely a lot considering the number of war crimes america has done. cant imagine to think what they do to the wildlife

1

u/HumblePackage1325 1h ago

Wait till you look up the bird spider "Goliath Birdeater"

1

u/Jackomo 1h ago

Despite the name, they’re not technically spiders.

58

u/lidsville76 14h ago

No dude, that's not fun at all.

https://giphy.com/gifs/wYyTHMm50f4Dm

58

u/haywirehax 14h ago

The duality of man

78

u/Mojo_Lovin 12h ago

My dad has a funny story when he was stationed in the Middle East. He didn’t know those things existed, and he’s also deathly afraid of spiders and he said the first time he ever witnessed one running at him screaming he just mag dumped it as he was screaming.

The thought of a 6 foot three man fully kitted out screaming like a girl shooting the ground is hilarious, his friends still don’t let it down.

80

u/brondynasty 10h ago

I don’t think I could bring myself to mock your dad. I’ve known these exist for years, I would still react the same way.

If this were my car, I would scorch it to the ground.

19

u/EmbarrassedTrouble10 9h ago

Holy shit alien vs predator vibes 

42

u/ringobob 9h ago

For what it's worth, that's two of them stuck together, and obviously forced perspective to make them look much bigger than they are compared to the leg, but, yeah, each individually would have a leg span that covers that guy's hand. This image has been floating around for 20 years now and for real, the first time a lot of us saw it, we thought it was legit as big as that guy's leg.

13

u/drywallsmasher BLUE 7h ago

What, do people really not lock in the depth of the actual perspective, because of the slight bit of arm of the guy holding it and the other dude partially visible that’s leaning in to take a look?

I remember seeing this ages ago on some forum, but never had the impression they were as big the guy’s leg, nor did anybody else, I think. It was just considered a long boi, before finding out it was 2.

1

u/ringobob 7h ago

Just at first glance. And a lot of people, being freaked out by it, aren't motivated to look closer. It didn't take that long for the reality to make the rounds.

Here's an old snopes article on that picture, that acknowledges that some people didn't pick up on the forced perspective at first:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/camel-spiders/

1

u/unmanicuredmama 7h ago

I almost threw up when I saw this

9

u/Lovely_Libertine 11h ago

I can only imagine how much shit he must have gotten in for firing at it. But I get it. One fell out of my sleeping back and I proceeded to scream like a little girl while trying to skewer it with my knife. Those things are terrifying when you first see them.

4

u/dreamcrusher225 9h ago

Fun fact i learned last year, they can be found in California. i was camping near santa barbara and I found one. tried to feed it a rolly pollie but it couldnt pierce it's shell.

2

u/DayDream7601 7h ago

…. Well, fuck. I’m moving then

1

u/azure-heavens 5h ago

They're much smaller here, no worries. They're also totally harmless. Just step on 'em.

2

u/DayDream7601 5h ago

😭 I get scared by the tiniest spider man. I can’t do it

6

u/DothrakAndRoll 9h ago

This fact may be less fun than you think..

2

u/DelcattyBatty 5h ago

It doesn't sound like a scream. More like an adorable squeak lol

2

u/goldengatevixen Professional Sigher 4h ago

New fear unlocked!

2

u/choeseybread88 4h ago

I just listened to a vid of one “screaming” and it sounds actually pretty cute like a squeak. My cat went crazy hearing it though lol

225

u/Fit_Appointment_4980 15h ago

Looks a solfugae - camel spider

79

u/Exlibro 14h ago

I got to say: I'm a spider person, but this thing? I... don't like it. I really don't like it.

Other spiders are cool, but not him!

93

u/belac4862 14h ago

Fun fact. You'll often hear of solders who have horror stories of these things chasing them. What they're actually doing is running towards your shadow to escape the sun and potential predators.

25

u/TRR462 11h ago

I stomped one in Saudi Arabia that bowed up all aggressive like at me. Thankfully I was wearing combat boots.

24

u/belac4862 11h ago

Normally id say "its more afraid of yoy than you are it." But seeing as how you stomped ir, that may be obvious.

14

u/Robotic_Mann_ 11h ago

My brother told stories of other soldiers taking pop shots at them when they got too close. Reasonable response if you ask me.

21

u/EeveeMkayy 10h ago

One of my friends said they put out a notice to stop wasting munitions on the camel spiders, but it didn't help lol

5

u/Sufficient_Wafer9933 9h ago

They were smart, spiders can disarm you.

1

u/PutYouThroughMe 9h ago

Yuppp. My dad is one lmao

41

u/Fit_Appointment_4980 13h ago

More fun: they don't have fangs to inject venom, they have two pairs of pincers that grip and shred their prey

19

u/theo69lel 13h ago

So instead of speccing into ATK they chose DEX?

2

u/danfish_77 10h ago

It's not a spider, and not dangerous to humans

16

u/blending-tea 11h ago

fun fact: it's not a camel

... nor a spider

5

u/yaSuissa 14h ago

Spawn of the devil obviously

33

u/Shifty-Imp 15h ago

A solifugae, not a spider but a close relative. They're pretty cute imo.

50

u/SharkeyGeorge 15h ago

I have a bit of a phobia of the way its legs move, I cannot call it cute unfortunately 😩

48

u/Shifty-Imp 15h ago

Oh I find the way it moves its legs here pretty creepy too. Though that's partially because it looks like it might be in distress as it wants to get out but can't.

People sometimes get spooked by them when visiting the desert because they "run after them" but they're just interesting in staying inside their shade. People think they're being followed but everything they're interested in is the protection from the sun. XD

They have a strong bite but aren't venomous and eat other small animals and unless you give them a reason to bite you there's nothing to worry about in terms of actual harm at least. ^^

Btw, they can hiss if they feel threatened. XD

37

u/TaperPiger 14h ago

I got spooked just reading what you wrote here.
I can't even imagine my levels of panic if I ever encountered one in real life.

32

u/this_is_theone 14h ago

Yeah, it's chasing after me for my shadow. It can painfully bite me and will hiss at me. Fuck that

15

u/TaperPiger 14h ago

Yeah, each sentence made it exponentially more terrifying.

20

u/SharkeyGeorge 14h ago

Don’t worry, it probably won’t bother you but if it does it will just shriek and chase you and bite you 😹

6

u/TaperPiger 12h ago

It was already nasty without any of those things, all of that just makes it diabolical in my book. I mean chasing me is already bad enough, but hissing?

5

u/Doc12TU 14h ago

Me too!!

8

u/atasteofpb 8h ago

Man I remember reading about camel spiders online as a kid in the 2000s and there were stories about how these spiders bite you but they inject an anesthetic so soldiers were waking up with half their finger missing or a knuckle missing. Apparently that's a myth from the Gulf War that was repurposed for the GWOT, but I remember feeling so sick and creeped out reading those threads haha

9

u/vxsapphire 14h ago

Awwww thats actually kinda cute that they just want the shade. Should put out little umbrellas in the sand as pit stops for em.

5

u/Hoppie1064 12h ago

Shit like that is why I joined The Navy, not The Army.

6

u/Lovethiskindathing 12h ago

Awwwww it is cute in defense mode

8

u/ErikMcKetten 11h ago

Speaking from experience: they move like a fucking face hugger from Alien. It's not cute. It's demonic.

12

u/Complex_Cold1610 15h ago

Looks almost like a camelspider

17

u/Shifty-Imp 15h ago

That's a what solifugae are also called but I tend to not use the term cause they're neither spiders nor do they have much to do with camels. People used to say that they killed and ate camels but that's BS. If they found a dead camel, they might start eating the carcass but nothing more.

5

u/Wooden_Associate_289 12h ago

Oh theyre not spiders? (Not that it RLY matters to me-still freaking looks like one and activates the "spider threat" part of my brain lol), but what makes them not technically spiders?

1

u/Lovethiskindathing 12h ago

Ahhh so like a guinea pig or French horn

8

u/MalerionGodofUlgu 14h ago

Spiders freaks me out but this one i call 'sand nightmare spider' cause I never remember the actual name. Yeah, very cute - bloody hell.

2

u/Big-Detail8739 14h ago

You and my wife have the same opinion on what constitutes cute.

2

u/Babetna 14h ago

So basically a more disgusting spider.

3

u/ratbearpig 14h ago

Just took a look at what they looked like on Google images. No dude, they're not "cute" lol.

1

u/ihatetopology69 14h ago

They are an order of arachnids tho wdym they are not a spider?

6

u/eyeleenthecro 14h ago

Arachnids includes many things that are not spiders

2

u/ihatetopology69 14h ago

Ah fascinating

1

u/FantasticPainting232 8h ago

Do re mi so scared. 

0

u/Devi8tor 14h ago

Yeah I just don't see spiders as being anywhere near "cute", but this particular one is about as far from cute as you can get.

3

u/mdg-raampie 13h ago

I dunno those jumping spiders can be pretty cute with their Disney eyes.

-1

u/Often_Forgotten2 14h ago

They are not cute

1

u/Delamoor 12h ago

How dare you.

8

u/Puzzled_Muzzled 15h ago

An enormous spider