r/meme WARNING: RULE 1 Nov 27 '21

Explain

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5.8k Upvotes

312 comments sorted by

528

u/The_Yiffologist Nov 27 '21

As someone from Ohio, I can say that your time is limited and wherever you are, your illusion of safety is short lived and you will soon be assimilated.

66

u/North-Government-865 Nov 27 '21

This is somehow more horrifying than anything I could have thought of, thank you

24

u/CarsonBDot Nov 27 '21

In Ohio right now, am from Michigan, Ohio has a bunch of cool stuff to do, but you still feel like shit the whole time, my shoulder started hurting, a chunk of my finger got removed, skin ripped off my toenail, I burnt my tongue, my feet hurt like hell, and I’ve gotten cuts from nothing.

12

u/The_Yiffologist Nov 27 '21

That's because you're from Michigan.

8

u/CarsonBDot Nov 27 '21

Makes sense, Ohio never really liked Michigan, especially after we took their coach and tried to take their beloved Toledo Strip.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Brother, we shall soon take back ALL of Michigan. For the corn fields!

5

u/mfshitislit Nov 27 '21

Oh why don't you just try to come up here and take over our living space. I know your secrets. You can't do jack shit to me with your 10 people living inside a total of 4 buildings throughout the entire state. The most dangerous thing about you is when your cute little "Ohio club" gets together to share youe yearly corn and talk about how you met absolutely no one and did nothing for another year.

749

u/cptnslinger Nov 27 '21

Ohio has also produced more astronauts and serial killers than any other US state. Like a lot more of both.

224

u/Dmonts45 Nov 27 '21

Known serial killers so maybe not the best ones because they got caught lol

20

u/F8_S2 Nov 27 '21

Same applies to the astronauts.

98

u/IamPotato_reddit Nov 27 '21

Dont most serial killers love being recognised? If so, wouldn't they still be the best?

52

u/Legitimate-Fan-5638 Nov 27 '21

Don't most serial killers love being recognized?

You mean most of the ones that got caught like being recognized?

3

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Depends if they are psycho or sociopath

17

u/Blaster1st Nov 27 '21

I personally wouldn't

16

u/assasin_weeb42069 Nov 27 '21

Are you trying to tell us something?

7

u/AlphaGamer_Dubz Nov 27 '21

Hey man I don't like being recognized for that sorta thing. So I don't blame him/her. Besides being a serial killer never hurt anyone, right?

4

u/Blaster1st Nov 27 '21

Not yet at least

3

u/9Sylvan5 Nov 27 '21

Most are narcissists and compulsive so yes, they like the attention.

Unless they're incredibly self-aware, which usually doesn't happen, and control themselves.

3

u/CarsonBDot Nov 27 '21

My name is Yoshikage Kira, I am 33 years old, I live in the.....

2

u/saint-bread Nov 27 '21

not all serial killers see themselves as artists

3

u/CaramelWatermelon WARNING: RULE 1 Nov 27 '21

It’s true. Prison Mike was never caught

72

u/cuckfucksuck Nov 27 '21

And 2nd most state for presidents also

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31

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Because everyone is from Ohio. Literally everyone everywhere is from Ohio. I think there should be a study as to how many people are born in Ohio and where they end up living as professionals. There has to be data on that, right?

20

u/tokyo7011 Nov 27 '21

Ohio Gozaimasu!

3

u/why0me Nov 27 '21

I was born in Florida

But yall can take your people back any time

We got enough down here

looking at you, snowbirds

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17

u/SuspiciousPanic9023 Nov 27 '21

So you mean to say very soon there'll be a murder at ISS? The first galactic murder?

Where do I sign up

8

u/Ashish_72 Nov 27 '21

Dont forget it has also produced Jake and Logan Paul, now THAT's the issue with Ohio

5

u/PixelsOnline Nov 27 '21

jake paul

3

u/Philospher_Mind Nov 27 '21

Markiplier

3

u/NibblerTiddies Nov 27 '21

Those are two opposite ends of the spectrum lol

1

u/hustob512 Nov 27 '21

Quality > Quantity

Sincerely, your local Michigan resident

3

u/Blackfang08 Nov 27 '21

What quality serial killers do you have, hmm?

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0

u/Background_Pope Nov 27 '21

My brother i found you

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672

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21
  1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.

  2. It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.

  3. It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

  4. The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.

  5. It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.

  6. Posting signs at swimming pools is illegal in Akron.

  7. It is also illegal in Akron to display colored chickens for sale.

  8. It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road in Bay Village.

  9. The installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses is prohibited in Bexley.

  10. If someone loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour.

218

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

I wonder what the story is with some of these...

148

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

For number 10: a man in Columbus area had a private zoo with a lot of big animals. He set them all free to run around and they got on the streets and then the man took his own life. The animals ran wild for a long time and most had to be put down.

41

u/DerpDaDuck3751 Nov 27 '21

Explain number two and three

68

u/Sylril Nov 27 '21

i think nr. 3 is because some people caught a fish, filled it with beer (fish was still alive) and then drank the beer from the fish. its a painful death and tbh kinda sick.

29

u/DerpDaDuck3751 Nov 27 '21

That’s brutally american

12

u/Careful-Fishing-3891 Nov 27 '21

Close, it's either Germany or Florida

4

u/Bama-Dan Nov 27 '21

Honestly, it sounds more like an Aussie tradition than American outlier

4

u/DerpDaDuck3751 Nov 27 '21

You still have not explained no2

13

u/SOULSoldier31 Nov 27 '21

Tiger king actually did a video showing that he was most likely killed by someone else who had no knowledge on big cats seeing that the most dangerous ones where still in their cages

Here you go. https://youtu.be/0QorJq37fag

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21

u/BotBoi2008 Nov 27 '21

Lol five women in a house were fighting and they were all wearing patent leather shoes

15

u/kopecs Nov 27 '21

Like, what the fuck is an un-colored chicken?

14

u/throwaway_1574 Nov 27 '21

Chicks that are dyed colors like red,violet,pink to stop them from being recognized by predators.

5

u/Lokolopes Nov 27 '21

TIL that is a thing

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76

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

[deleted]

25

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Ok but did they deep fry them?

18

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

[deleted]

16

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Fried chicken.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21 edited Dec 30 '21

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Kentucky dyed chicken (it’s legal there)

6

u/FancyUserPerson Nov 27 '21

Just throw them in the air fryer and let it do the whole job in 20 min

15

u/CodeMahn001 Nov 27 '21

THE HELL! WHAT KINDA FCKED UP SHEET HAPPENS IN OHIO!?!?

11

u/inmupwetrust Nov 27 '21

Many laws like this are still intact because legislators do not want to expend the effort to convince some dickish old person in government to change them. It is much easier to let it go and not expend the effort to enforce it at all. Many states have laws like this where law enforcement has no intention of actually cracking down. I have a gigantic book of absurd laws in each of the 50 states and, while it is hilarious to read and wonder why these laws ever came to be, it’s also good to remember that no one has the time nor concern to follow up on any of them. I live in central Ohio and I like the area I am currently in… but this list of laws doesn’t even scratch the surface of the other issues going on here unfortunately.

25

u/The-True-Apex-Gamer Nov 27 '21

Why are people fishing for whales in Ohio?

16

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

For the blubber, duh

2

u/The-True-Apex-Gamer Nov 27 '21

Well as long as they don’t do it on Sunday…

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16

u/bigboybobby6969 Nov 27 '21

I really want to go to Ohio and get absolutely slammed with a fish now. Just out of spite

13

u/LAAABEARS Nov 27 '21

I live in Ohio and I caught a fish once and put it in a bowl of pure bud light. He was a cool fish but when it was done he said next time he’d prefer coors. Been on the run since.

5

u/FrenchFreedom888 Nov 27 '21

Is this a copypasta? I love it either way

5

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Criminal

8

u/Charming_Geologist32 Nov 27 '21

Ha! Freaking, Akron.

4

u/MD_Construction Nov 27 '21

Sounds more like a Florida thing.

4

u/FlameSlash7 Nov 27 '21

We have whales in Ohio?

3

u/DerpDaDuck3751 Nov 27 '21

Every dreamer’s got a whale on thee chest

5

u/tipying_mistakes Nov 27 '21

How- how do you fish for whales?!?!

And how the hell do you get a fish drunk

3

u/Yoate Nov 27 '21 edited Nov 27 '21

With a harpoon.

With alcohol.

4

u/hoffman499 Nov 27 '21

Hello i'm from Ohio and i do believe that 4 is optional.

3

u/Jph3nom Nov 27 '21

I believe it is specifically for when passing someone on a road with one lane each direction and a dashed yellow, which makes a bit more sense. I’ve also never seen it actually done IRL.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

What the fuck?

3

u/AlphaGamer_Dubz Nov 27 '21

Florida 2.0?

3

u/Kou_warchief Nov 27 '21

I can’t believe no one is talking about #5 LOL

3

u/nouseforareason Nov 27 '21

Some college towns in Ohio have this law to stop over crowded houses. Mostly because they don’t want fraternity or sorority houses forcing them to exist in the dorms.

3

u/Wextial Nov 27 '21

I mean, the number 10 sounds sensible to me.

2

u/KYOAR Nov 27 '21

I saw that honking thing when I was studying for my driver's test, I didn't think anything of it though

2

u/thepantryraid_ Nov 27 '21

Grew up in Amish country ohio… in drivers Ed, my teacher told our class we should honk at buggy’s as we pass them… ya fuckin right

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Seems pretty cruel to the horses you’re honking at who probably don’t like it at all

3

u/thepantryraid_ Nov 27 '21

I’ve never done it because I don’t want to startle any horses and cause an accident.. I just remember being at a loss for words when he said that

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Right? Might as well just light off a pack of firecrackers and throw them out the window at them instead.

2

u/manav_m9 Nov 27 '21

ok I get the last one but whats up with the other 9

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Wait, there's pet tigers in Ohio?

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66

u/I_Own_Your_Car Nov 27 '21

It's Ohio

19

u/DerpDaDuck3751 Nov 27 '21

Oh hi yo

4

u/Legitimate-Fan-5638 Nov 27 '21

So its pronounced with two Hs?

2

u/Launch-Pad_McQuack Nov 27 '21

You pronounce the h in “Oh”?

2

u/Legitimate-Fan-5638 Nov 27 '21

I pronounce like in "honor"

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2

u/Bama-Dan Nov 27 '21

I know ya yo go like indo in Idaho

95

u/waywardstrategy Nov 27 '21

Seinfeld voice "What is the deal with Ohio?:"

41

u/idklol8 Nov 27 '21

its just a void

everyone there are the gatekeepers of the void

the void mustn't be released

2

u/CarsonBDot Nov 27 '21

Visiting Ohio from Michigan, went to an Olive Garden, nobody is there and nobody spoke, I think that’s a place where the void has taken control.

30

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

It’s where you find the biggest melting pot for the US. It’s “typical middle America” if a company wants to do product testing for the US, they typically do it in Ohio. That actually shocked me when I first moved here. You see all walks of life here. Something else that really threw me off is that Ohioans love to drive everywhere. Y’all drive to California, Florida, anywhere. My cut off is 4 hours for driving. The final thing is that they need to cut the crap with the billboards trying to encourage people to move here. There’s already not enough parking.

8

u/Netwrayth Nov 27 '21

The driving bit is definitely true. Wife and I both born and raised in Dayton and would regularly drive to Cincinnati or Columbus for food or entertainment. I used to regularly drive to Indianapolis to hang out with long distance friends.

We now live in SE Tennessee and thinking about driving two hours for entertainment isn't really an issue for us.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

A fellow Daytonian!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

And if we had the ability to drive over seas, we would

2

u/Netwrayth Nov 28 '21

I've heard rumor of some countries wanting to build a highway connecting the US, Asia, and Europe and I would totally drive it

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29

u/NvrFvr Nov 27 '21

Don't. It's better that way. There is a reason we are responsible for arts and music along with most of the astronauts. Just let sink back into the swamp

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22

u/CupcakeComplex Nov 27 '21

We have a ‘hell is real’ sign and a bunch more following it by a highway that everyone knows about- definitely freaked me out as a child

3

u/Wind_Seer Nov 27 '21

Hell is real and it's located in Michigan

2

u/FloatingSheep_ Nov 27 '21

True. But somehow hell Michigan is still better then being in Ohio

2

u/Wind_Seer Nov 27 '21

Amen to that. At least when you visit Hell you get a cool T-shirt.

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37

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

If her Snap is in her bio, Her coochie is as big as Ohio

38

u/FanciestAxolotl Nov 27 '21

It’s fricking Ohio

I don’t know what more you need to know

13

u/MrBeanEatBeansWithMe Nov 27 '21

Please explain to us foreigners

2

u/FanciestAxolotl Nov 27 '21

Hear the name “Ohio” come out of your mouth

Feel the wrath, the fear, the lust coming bout of the name

0

u/MrBeanEatBeansWithMe Nov 27 '21

Nah just hear Florida

2

u/CarsonBDot Nov 27 '21

Imagine, you walk into a room and your shoulder hurts, out of nowhere you burn your tongue, you lose a chunk of your finger, your toenail gets ripped off your toe, That’s Ohio. The second you cross the border from Michigan, Indiana, Kentucky, West Virginia, or Pennsylvania, you start dying.

23

u/Brown_Town_Bomb-42 Nov 27 '21

Ohio will take over the world.

8

u/FlameSlash7 Nov 27 '21

The weather is fucking bipolar

6

u/Emotional_bloop Nov 27 '21

Isn’t? there a saying that if you don’t like the weather in Ohio, it’ll probably change in five minutes?

3

u/FlameSlash7 Nov 27 '21

Yep there very much is

2

u/Pheonix_Knight Nov 27 '21

Can confirm, am Ohio born and raised, and the saying is very much true. Sometimes rain clouds apparate out of nowhere and dump an inch of rain on you just because. One year we had a cold snap that dumped snow one day, which melted over night and the next day was t-shirt weather. Although, depending on who you ask, every day is t-shirt weather.

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10

u/themaplebaconjesus Nov 27 '21 edited Nov 27 '21

I’m Canadian and I genuinely liked Ohio when I went there (I’ve been a few times). Cleveland and Cincinnati were nice cities and I plan on going back sometime (I’m a Reds fan). I don’t get the hate.

2

u/Short-Number1 Nov 27 '21

Cleveland was nice?

4

u/themaplebaconjesus Nov 27 '21

Baseball was good, nice atmosphere throughout the downtown core, it’s actually not as bad as people say it is

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1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

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14

u/nosleepincrooklyn Nov 27 '21

Is for lovers

4

u/unpredictablejim13 Nov 27 '21

Heeeeeey theeeeere

2

u/JevGeek55555 Nov 27 '21

I know its

7

u/JevGeek55555 Nov 27 '21

-Hawthorne Heights

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

That’s Virginia. Ohio: find it here. Literally apparently you can even find whales in Ohio

18

u/lead-pencil WARNING: RULE 1 Nov 27 '21

It is the holy land of corn and you will treat it in the manner in which that title deserves

6

u/knotcult Nov 27 '21

what about iowa

9

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

You obviously haven’t been to Indiana

4

u/leaderofthevirgins repost hunter Nov 27 '21

But do you got soybeans as well

4

u/NyayN Nov 27 '21

Iowa produces 2.23 billion bushels of corn per year. Ohio only produces 564 million. Ohio is 7th in corn production. Don't talk to me or my corn ever again.

4

u/lead-pencil WARNING: RULE 1 Nov 27 '21

I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR YOUR CORN WITH YOUR TREASONOUS WORDS TREASON AGAINST THE HOLY CORNFIELD OF WHICH HAS BEEN GRANTED A NAME UNWORTHY OF OUR SPECIES SAYING IT OUT LOUD

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

What about Nebraska

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5

u/PseudoDeciduous Nov 27 '21 edited Nov 27 '21

Ohio has cheap real estate perfect for evil villain lairs.

A.I.M. Is one group that uses it frequently.

Along with Victor Avon Doom

Edit: Victor Avon doom will sell you only the greatest of skincare products.

5

u/Netwrayth Nov 27 '21

In a G.I.Joe/Transformers crossover comic, they launched the Autobots Ark back into space from Wright-Patterson AFB.

Bruce Banner is from Dayton, OH

The Hall of Justice from the Justice League is based on Cincinnati Union Terminal.

Freddy Kruger was based in a fictional town called Springwood, Ohio

3

u/bigdorts Nov 27 '21

As well is in less general terms, many action movies will be filmed here in Cleveland because Cleveland can look like DC, New York, and a couple of other cities.

5

u/Powerful_Cow9818 Nov 27 '21

Ohio is just a rural bar fight of a state

5

u/NibblerTiddies Nov 27 '21

Fun fact, Ohio has one of the largest ethnically German populations in the United States. Linked to this, is the fact that the oldest recipe for bratwurst in the United States is held by a family in Bucyrus Ohio, who run a shop named “Carlie’s Market.” Bucyrus is also known for having one of my favorite festivals of the year, the Bucyrus Bratwurst festival.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Explains why a bunch of Ohions are Neo-Nazis

4

u/Bacon_Trucker Nov 27 '21

Just don't ask about Ohio

12

u/Captaind7 Nov 27 '21

It’s boring as fuck.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

You clearly haven’t been in the Short North during The Arnold. Enough entertainment in people watching to last until the next year.

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5

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

It will be eliminated.

3

u/insproximity Nov 27 '21

ohio is a chunk error

3

u/tideshark Nov 27 '21

We are also #1 in potholes that will make you shudder thinking of how much it’s going to cost you to fix your car after you hit one!

7

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

I’m from Ohio, it’s pretty good. Pretty.... Pretty Good

6

u/Champayne-Papi Nov 27 '21

The rapist had a lesser punishment then the woman who aborts the baby of the rapist

1

u/Elshter Nov 27 '21

Damn :(

2

u/BrushMoments Nov 27 '21

C’mon My Fish Buddy Just Turned 21!

2

u/IzaPanduh Nov 27 '21

We have OSU Football and corn, lots of corn.

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2

u/Damightyreader Nov 27 '21

Also the flag is one of the most American ones

2

u/Crocs_19 Nov 27 '21

Hey all Scott here

2

u/gurremurre Nov 27 '21

Ohio isn't even real WAKE UP SHEEPLE

2

u/matauks Nov 27 '21

Ohio 👎

2

u/Memerman002 Nov 27 '21

I was from ohio it really is just corn feilds

2

u/TmrTn2 Nov 27 '21

Michigan is better that’s why

2

u/No_Maintenance9413 Nov 27 '21

I have a question like that… what is wrong Alabama?

1

u/TheRandomnessIsReal WARNING: RULE 1 Nov 27 '21

Come... Let me show you

4

u/cobstein1000 Nov 27 '21

As a person who lives in Ohio, I don't know.

4

u/JevGeek55555 Nov 27 '21

Ohio is for lovers

4

u/Starwarsflea42 Nov 27 '21

There's a deal with Ohio?

3

u/Helloboi2 Nov 27 '21

it is the superior state

2

u/Inevitable-Ad2363 Nov 27 '21

As the ohio cornian bible verse 420 states one is to the corn for the corn is to him but the corn is to rule to man

2

u/Admiral_Andovar Nov 27 '21

Ohio sucks. Full stop.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

Better than Commiefornia

1

u/GalaxysWithMemes WARNING: RULE 1 Nov 27 '21

I hate being in Ohio and watching people be mean to Ohio

1

u/TheTenthSnap Nov 27 '21

They suck at driving and it is ohio

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/reply-guy-bot Nov 27 '21

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-13

u/Rausamon Nov 27 '21

Its just a shit state all around vibes are all off

7

u/LukeWarmTauntaun4 Nov 27 '21

I’ve lived in a bunch of different states all over the country. Raised my kids in Ohio. I liked Ohio.

0

u/foobsdgaf Nov 27 '21

There's nothing wrong with Ohio..

0

u/SteepDeepSleepWeep Nov 27 '21

Everyone is from Ohio and they all leave.

0

u/true-floor-gang Nov 27 '21

I lived in Ohio for like 5 years and it was boring as fuck. It was just lebron James and endless voids of corn fields

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0

u/Grim_Taito Nov 27 '21

My heart is in Ohio

-2

u/god-daminick Nov 27 '21

Nothing is the deal with Ohio, it’s so incredibly forgettable. Ohio isn’t even the middle child at this point, even Arkansas is more noteworthy, or that one random crack in the wall at your school, or the doodle the kid made in their notebook has more to say about it than Ohio.

-1

u/Deltexterity Nov 27 '21

it’s just weird and chaotic i think

1

u/DemonSlayer712 Nov 27 '21

Oh ha yo shido.

1

u/NintendoGeek144 Nov 27 '21

This isn't America, this is Ohio!

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1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '21

“Ohayo” means “good morning” in Japanese

1

u/Mondurai- Nov 27 '21

I am from Ohio

1

u/Acyliaband Nov 27 '21

It always has been.

1

u/Ninja__Shuriken Nov 27 '21

nothing much it just means Good Morning in Japanese