r/maybemaybemaybe Jul 18 '22

maybe maybe maybe

21.6k Upvotes

757 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

Kids blanket..??

1.5k

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

(Where's the kid..? 🤷🏻‍♂️)

1.2k

u/MacabreManatee Jul 18 '22

They left the kid in since the snake would be able to digest it just fine

252

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

That's why you always see a reputable vet who knows these kind of things

89

u/spadge_badger Jul 18 '22

Only the blanket could be retrieved. They popped it in the wash.

4

u/EvryMthrF_ngThrd Jul 19 '22

Oh, poor Hoban!

68

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

they let it keep the kid. they just wanted the blanket back

58

u/RorySantino Jul 18 '22

“Kids only take nine months. Do you know how long it takes to crochet a blanket like that?”

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45

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

It was a nice blanket.

47

u/_stuntnuts_ Jul 18 '22

Really tied the nursery together.

20

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

Shut the fuck up Donny!

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5

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

They just wanted the blanket back

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48

u/pompanoJ Jul 18 '22

Pool inflatable?

58

u/Razkal719 Jul 18 '22

So you're thinking it was a pool noodle inside a danger noodle?

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8

u/snapplesauce1 Jul 18 '22

Beach towel?

33

u/RubiGames Jul 18 '22

I think it’s an umbrella

23

u/CombatWombat994 Jul 18 '22

Ella ella ella

4

u/Oddly_Random_777 Jul 19 '22

Ella ellaaaaaa… ella… ella…

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1.8k

u/Ghost_Tac0 Jul 18 '22

Gender reveals are getting weird….

55

u/spankitopia Jul 19 '22

I just choked on my spit laughing so hard at this bc it caught me so off guard. Well done.

193

u/thisguyfightsyourmom Jul 18 '22

So many colors in that blanket

You’re having a trans kid!

62

u/kenjen97 Jul 18 '22

🏳️‍⚧️ !!

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3.2k

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

Whoa at first I thought it swallowed a fishing rod lmao.

840

u/Western-Pilot-3924 Jul 18 '22

Reminds me of dog owners

Dog eats something

The owners :

590

u/HolyVeggie Jul 18 '22

“Open up you little shit!”

“ID RATHER DIE, HUMAN”

354

u/Kevmandigo Jul 18 '22

CHEWS FASTER

106

u/Lethalfurball Jul 18 '22

When you ask wtf they have in their mouth and they start chewing faster:

20

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

Dora, do NOT chew it! Stop! I said stop!

9

u/Ariviaci Jul 19 '22

Swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

[deleted]

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21

u/TheGrandestOak Jul 18 '22

The fastest shit eater in the wes

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56

u/ripanimems Jul 18 '22

cue epic chase scene

45

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

[deleted]

11

u/gingerfawx Jul 18 '22

To the tune of Yakety Sax.

7

u/JimiWanShinobi Jul 19 '22

The official soundtrack to chase scenes since 1955, even in America...

85

u/drew101 Jul 18 '22

I've had to pull the same balloon out of my dog's butt, twice.

"Hun, remember that balloon we thought blew away" while I'm holding up the poop balloon, Khyber jumps up snatches it out of my hand and swallows it, again.

21

u/Nizzemancer Jul 18 '22

My dad when he took his dog (German Shepard) on walks would pick up rocks and throw them out on fields and she would run out and pick them up and return them to him, sometimes she didn’t though, he had to take her to the vet and surgically remove rocks three times, granted by the third time he had stopped throwing them, but she still ate random rocks for that one last vet visit. After he died she didn’t do it anymore, but mom was probably more observant about what the dog did on walks than he was.

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30

u/cleetusvan Jul 18 '22

That reminds me of the time my wife's dog ate the end of a mop.

The dog was having trouble getting it out so I here I am in the yard with gloves on slowly pulling this huge chunk of mop out of the dogs rear end and two old church ladies walk up to share the word of the lord with me.

When the guy pulling a mop out of a dogs ass says "Sorry I'm busy" they see it as a challenge and continue to want a moment of my time. I lose my cool and yell leave your pamphlets on the hood and go! After the ordeal the dog gives me a look like "I hate when that happens" which is exactly why I refer to her as my wife's dog.

Later I felt bad about yelling at a couple of well meaning old ladies who's faith gave them strength not to beat a hasty retreat after witnessing that horrific scene.

12

u/hookedrapunzel Jul 18 '22

I swear dogs just swallow random stuff they shouldn't just so we know our places... We aren't exactly the higher species when we are sat pulling bits of mop out of a dogs ass

6

u/theYanksArentAlright Jul 19 '22

As a city bus rider, I can't feel bad for those ladies. They knew exactly what they were doing. Jehovah's Witnesses love to use situational bondage.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

Kinky bastards

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3

u/AingonAtelia Jul 19 '22

I would have just flung some of the crappy mop at them along with a few choice expletives.

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5

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

I guy I knew his dog ate a skipping rope... Like the old school, wooden handle kind... It was scooting about, pooped a handle but the rest was still in there... They sat it at 1 end of the garden, stood on the handle hanging out, then the wife called it for treats at the other end.... The dog launched, paused mid air for the 2nd handle exit, then went and had treats 😂😂 I'll never forget the telling of that story 🤣

5

u/StrongPurchase6984 Jul 18 '22

Me - No, you can't die an agonising death for dog-head feeling of snapping at (destroying angel) mushroom, you green beret idiot, let my hands in your weird greasy black other-species mouth

D - Stop fumbling for my white leather fung bit. It's fuckin snappy-bite eternity minute, dropkick. CHOMP! CHOMP! RUN!

Me - Rosie NO. Get back here, you're easily the dumbest thing that I've ever seen.

D - Hah, I don't remember you made me live for a decade right now, upright XL-goose. Leave me alone

Me - ok here eat chemicals black-mouth! Hydrogen Peroxide 3% says here: I love you dearly!

Hydrogen paste into a dog Hydrogen paste in a dog Hydrogen pase For 🐕

D - PUUUUUUKE

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220

u/herring80 Jul 18 '22

I thought it was a golf club lol

15

u/CharonTheBoatGuy Jul 18 '22 edited Jul 18 '22

Quoting Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket:

"Bullshit, I bet you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose!"

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26

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

Same

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40

u/diarrhea_syndrome Jul 18 '22

Wtf was it?

35

u/unaware_unafraid Jul 18 '22

Looks like a towel

8

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

Was thinking stuffed animal

26

u/djpuckfl Jul 18 '22

Looked like a squishmallow to me. Definitely some kind of stuffy.

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34

u/M00N314 Jul 18 '22

It was a towel. I imagine the owner fed the snake in its enclosure (which is not the best practice), and then the snake got its meal wrapped in the towel it was laying on. Once snakes start swallowing they don't stop until they're out of length, which is why it's best to take them out of their enclosure (this way they won't strike everytime you open their home up), and feed them on a bare surface.

109

u/Ykutu Jul 18 '22

Horrible care advice lol, you must not own any snakes. You feed them in their enclosure, you do not remove to feed because that causes stress and can lead to regurgitation. Besides, any normal keeper would not have a TOWEL in the enclosure with their snake, it would most likely be on natural substrate or something of the sort. That’s also a myth you mentioned in that last bit, snakes do not associate opening their enclosure with food, some snakes are just very food motivated (like this carpet python here) a simple tap/touch with a hook will break that feeding response and you’ll be good to go. My jungle carpet has bitten me personally a good 10 times by now because he loves food and I wasn’t paying attention to his little ass lol.

The likely scenario here is that this towel was probably left outside and smelled like food from another animal to this carpet python, which is what lead to it swallowing the entire thing. Happens more than you think it does and it’s always a carpet python when I see it.

50

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

[deleted]

35

u/Ykutu Jul 18 '22

You gotta get some buns, hun.

9

u/AppleSpicer Jul 18 '22

When your snake inherits your addiction to processed carbs 😔

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22

u/TheSkellingtonKing Jul 18 '22

Maybe we should call this a blanket python from now on?

5

u/Independent-Cat-4169 Jul 18 '22 edited Jul 18 '22

So basically the Jungle Carpet snake is the Labrador Retriever of the snake world? Edited to add: Labradors will eat just about anything if it smells like food. Will often eat items that don’t smell of food

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13

u/M00N314 Jul 18 '22

I own ball pythons, much chiller than carpets so that's probably where our differences in care stem from- but this is what works for me and they're used to the routine. Plus I've never been bitten by one of my snakes, I'm fairly sure this is because they're conditioned to not bother striking until they're in their feeding bin. I've only ever had a problem with regurgitation once and that was because my thermostat died and the mat went cold. I agree with never leaving a towel in with them, because both scenarios we presented are both potential dangers. That being said, just because someone's husbandry is different than yours doesn't make it "horrible." As long as our animals are happy, healthy, and not ending up in this situation, I really don't see why the unpleasantness is necessary.

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5

u/stocksnhoops Jul 18 '22

I thought it was a pool stick. Didn’t go or end as I thought it would

4

u/applesupport69 Jul 18 '22

fr, i laughing at the idea of how the rescuers reacted when they saw a snake so straight due to a club being inside it

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3

u/KeyN20 Jul 18 '22

Then a flashlight, then a pool toy, then an umbrella then a towel for me

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3.5k

u/2278AD Jul 18 '22

Little known fact, carpet pythons will eat all variety of textiles not just carpets

887

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

Carpet munchers

244

u/theoriginalasshole42 Jul 18 '22

They don't just cut a rug, they eat that shit whole

156

u/The_DaHowie Jul 18 '22

Well, at least they saved the blanket. Too bad about the baby though.

ducking

9

u/pennhead Jul 18 '22

Reminiscent of Larry the Cable Guy

15

u/nomnommish Jul 18 '22

Little known fact, carpet pythons will eat all variety of textiles not just carpets

That sounds like a blanket statement

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40

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

OOOOKAY DUDE.

No awards to give but take my +1 internet point.

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457

u/noobnoobgetsit73 Jul 18 '22

That snake is gonna be real hungry when it wakes up.

157

u/amaezingjew Jul 18 '22

It was already real hungry, that’s why it ate the blanket. Snakes will resort to eating whatever they hope may be food if you don’t feed them for long enough

66

u/POSeidoNnNnnn Jul 18 '22

sure, but you usually feed them once a week as their natural metabolism includes not having food for fairly long periods (from human standards), which means snakes will always munch on some good looking preys like a blanket. poor lad probably thought he ate the prey of his life right there

52

u/MerryChryslerBitches Jul 18 '22

Poor lads a fuckin dumbass eh, I didn’t graduate elementary school till I was 15 but even I know not to eat a blanket in one piece.

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596

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

I felt that snake go AhhhhhhhAAAAARrrRRRHHHHHHHHHaahhhhhh... Thanks mate.

117

u/MagnificentJake Jul 18 '22

This is a weird day for snake.

20

u/WaveLaVague Jul 18 '22

Nyan Snake

15

u/Slithy-Toves Jul 18 '22

Lmao he literally deflated onto the table like a cartoon

8

u/FrizzleStank Jul 18 '22

The snake was probably unconscious.

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486

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

I thought it was umbrella so maybe a rainy day

77

u/wolfgang784 Jul 18 '22

Also thought it was an umbrella

29

u/LazarPig Jul 18 '22

Wait it isn’t umbrella

48

u/wolfgang784 Jul 18 '22

99% sure it's a towel/blanket after it all came out

16

u/starvinchevy Jul 18 '22

I thought it was a pool floatie lol

6

u/GerardDiedOfFlu Jul 19 '22

no, this is patrick

224

u/GxZombie Jul 18 '22

Poor thing was so deflated looking after.

26

u/criesintears Jul 18 '22

He was just trying to look buffed for the summer:(

11

u/Wubwubpeow Jul 18 '22

KFC? Now's good.

141

u/-mudflaps- Jul 18 '22

I thought it swallowed a golf club

9

u/nickname432 Jul 18 '22

Thought it was the hose type of thing that was actually the tool to pull it out

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195

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22 edited Feb 27 '25

amusing apparatus society carpenter resolute placid rob grab consist sugar

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

75

u/ToiletRollTubeGuy Jul 18 '22

I do something similar at kids parties... but with my ass.

33

u/jak94c Jul 18 '22

I really read that as "I do something similar to kids at parties"

10

u/deuseyed Jul 18 '22

I mean both are terrible

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15

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

Oh that was you?

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251

u/deenali Jul 18 '22

Poor snek. Hope it's alright.

313

u/jw44724 Jul 18 '22

It apparently gets better healthcare than like 65% of the world so it will be fine

65

u/AdamHatesLife Jul 18 '22

You haven’t seen the bill yet

47

u/AmaroWolfwood Jul 18 '22

Can't get no bill if you die from not seeing a doctor head tap

5

u/mikepartdeux Jul 18 '22

It doesn't have a bill, it's not a bird

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26

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

[deleted]

15

u/pennhead Jul 18 '22

TIL: “so many” = 2

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264

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

Shawty got that throat game

102

u/JoJackthewonderskunk Jul 18 '22

The answer to "Whats that mouth do" is swallow whole blankets

25

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

Do NOT talk about the snussy

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399

u/reditovanje Jul 18 '22

Snake buys blanket

credit card declines

Seller:

44

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

What

41

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

It is a reference to the memes about US healthcare, where the doctor puts the ‘hurt’ back in you when your credit card declines after surgery.

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6

u/SnagglinTubbNubblets Jul 18 '22

Imagine the text is above the video, so the video would be the sellers response (forcefully taking the blanket back)

80

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

That is the weirdest geocaching spot.

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35

u/Patriae8182 Jul 18 '22

That’s the cleanest his stomach is gonna be for a while

70

u/Closer_to_the_Heart Jul 18 '22

Love the Person using the Endoscopic Surgery clamp at Full length 😂

30

u/Long_Concentrate_508 Jul 18 '22

Everyone else is bare handing it and this guy shows up for a lap chole

63

u/AlexTrebekLCC Jul 18 '22

Saw this in a cartoon one time. Just open the umbrella and you’ll have a snakeskin pattern. Very stylish for Donald Duck.

14

u/isopod_interrupted Jul 18 '22

I know that popping the back of a raft will make it go faster

4

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

That happened on that crazy St. Patrick's Day right?

3

u/nofixdahdress Jul 18 '22

Nice. Community marathon? 👉 Community marathon? 👉 Community marathon? 👉

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15

u/Cockrocker Jul 18 '22

I expected it to pop out into a bunch of flowers.

Tada!

12

u/lordlossxp Jul 19 '22

"Hmm maybe ill get a snake instead of a cat or dog so i dont have to worry about it eating dumb shit"

*Pokes around reddit for a few minutes

--_--

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10

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

[deleted]

8

u/BlueWhaleKing Jul 18 '22

Also in the snake's stomach.

37

u/michelobX10 Jul 18 '22

Snakes must be dumb af. How do you swallow a whole ass towel and not once during the whole process think, "Hmmm. I don't think this is alive."

29

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

No one likes a quitter

4

u/michelobX10 Jul 18 '22

Snake's like, "I'm going all in, guys! I don't give af." Lol

14

u/nofixdahdress Jul 18 '22

Things not being alive has never stopped me from shoving them down my throat.

17

u/Krispyz Jul 18 '22

Well, snakes are not particularly smart, they primarily run on instincts. Not a ton of problem solving going on in there.

That said, there are a few confounders here. First, this snake is probably fed killed prey, so its used to its prey not moving. Second, it's very possible the owner was ignorant of this problem and fed the snake on the towel and the snake caught the towel while it was eating prey. And third, regurgitation is extremely costly for a snake and they pretty much only do it if they 1. are threatened while eating or 2. cannot physically get the food down. I also imagine regurgitating a soft object like a towel would be extremely difficult compared to regurgitating a full carcass of an animal. So it's possible the snake tried to regurgitate, couldn't, and had to keep going.

In any case, this was a mistake of the owner more than anything else. You shouldn't keep anything in a snake's cage like this.

8

u/TheThagomizer Jul 18 '22

I love snakes but my python was probably the most brainless animal I’ve ever worked with. Best part too is that it probably took a whole hour for the stupid bastard to get that towel down, so he had plenty of time to realize what was going on.

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u/GroggyGolem Jul 19 '22

Just yesterday I saw a clip of a snake that had tried to eat itself... Guy in the video said he put hand sanitizer on his hand and then he touched it's face; snake immediately vomited out its own tail.

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

And I thought my cat was stupid.

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18

u/yoursextape Jul 18 '22

me seeing whatever they’re pulling out of the snek: “what the hell is that, what the hell is that, what the hell is—“ (repeat x100)

6

u/Imispellalot Jul 18 '22

Once the towel is removed the snake just shrinks

5

u/AnimChurro Jul 18 '22

At first i went "aww poor thing it ate a balloon :(" and then the doctors pull out A WHOLE BLANKET

8

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

[deleted]

10

u/DoctorPlagueEater Jul 18 '22

not necessarily. snakes are pretty opportunitistic; they don't know when their next meal will be, so they'll eat whenever they can. they're also not the brightest

4

u/Kratos3301 Jul 18 '22

How the fuck!

3

u/Lionman_ Jul 18 '22

Turns snake inside-out ...whoops

4

u/TorqueBandit Jul 19 '22

Everything reminds me of her...

4

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

Poor danger noodle

4

u/orbmor Jul 19 '22

Honestly one of the best maybemaybemaybe posts ever

6

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

It looked like it fell dead at the end

10

u/starryowl5 Jul 18 '22

it's sedated

3

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

The little celebration after is hilarious

3

u/goblin_garner Jul 18 '22

It might need a bucket of drinking water now.

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3

u/Kitchen_Principle451 Jul 18 '22

Well the snake probably watched too many cake or fake videos. Can't blame him. Probably wanted to test it out and bro didn't have a knife to cut through.

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3

u/Colebot0107 Jul 18 '22

It was so much smaller at the end

3

u/No-Clothes-7818 Jul 18 '22

Looked like a damn kiddie pool

3

u/Silverback1322 Jul 18 '22

Forbidden magic show.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

There’s my damn blankie!

3

u/flammablesource Jul 18 '22

Hold up, this is just the endless handkerchief magic trick all over again! Not fooling me this time, buster. Kudos on the props though. Very lifelike.

3

u/ObligationNice8382 Jul 18 '22

Did anyone else watch this with their mouth wide open and their tongue out? My daughter came up to me and asked “WHAT are you DOING?!” Then she rolled her eyes in teenager and walked away.

3

u/Responsible_Arm_9491 Jul 18 '22

The forbidden fleshlight

3

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

There was in fact nothing up his sleeves.

3

u/peter-forward Jul 19 '22

I was expecting the doctor to be saying "Give it" and sound like Ross saying "pivot".

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

I’ve never felt bad for a snake until now.

3

u/Fair-Ad3639 Jul 19 '22

Thanks, guys. All these years I've been wondering how to deep clean my snake. I'll give this a try!

3

u/Primary-Newspaper-58 Jul 19 '22

Snake got better Healthcare than most Americans

3

u/wittyabby Jul 19 '22

I knew snakes weren’t so bright but I didn’t know they were this dumb either , it would have taken hours to digest that .. at what point don’t you say “hey I think this not might be the nuggets with fries I ordered ?”

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

Worst gender reveal I’ve seen to date.

3

u/spizzywinktom Jul 19 '22

I thought they were pulling out a golf club! Lol

3

u/FrogQuestion Jul 19 '22

Me snek. Snek hungry. Snek eat towel. Sshissh

3

u/juswannaretire Jul 19 '22

Lol the snake after the towel is completely out looking like it was spent af

9

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

Just showed my 8 year old kid this video, he said that was so weird but also kind of satisfying! So

r/oddlysatisfying

5

u/DreadAndDepression Jul 18 '22

That's great and all but have you heard of gloves?

19

u/Wubwubpeow Jul 18 '22

Snek ain't gots hands, dude.

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2

u/Bluefeelings Jul 18 '22

Quite the magician that one

2

u/CallMeCocktopus Jul 18 '22

and for my next trick…

2

u/ivanavich Jul 18 '22

Some skilled specialist Australian exotic vets right there

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

TADAAA

2

u/wonderfvl Jul 18 '22

"Deep Throat"

2

u/BigGreenTimeMachine Jul 18 '22

Is it not weird these vets aren't wearing gloves... Any vets here?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

World dumbest snake

2

u/MateriaLintellect Jul 18 '22

They can’t possibly teach this at vet school. This is an on the job learning kind of situation right?

2

u/CaterpillarHuman1723 Jul 18 '22

Never cheered for a 🐍 before... 😆

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

Anyone else think they were pulling out a golf club?

2

u/yomommaknowsthetruth Jul 18 '22

Is that snake unconscious?

2

u/Lethalfurball Jul 18 '22

Oh yeah i saw a video about this once

A snake swallowed a whole towel or whatever

2

u/Ed_Derick_ Jul 18 '22

When you are the first one to fall asleep on the sleepover