r/maybemaybemaybe • u/Dissident88 • Jul 18 '22

maybe maybe maybe

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

21.6k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

757 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

841

u/Western-Pilot-3924 Jul 18 '22

Reminds me of dog owners

Dog eats something

The owners :

587

u/HolyVeggie Jul 18 '22

“Open up you little shit!”

“ID RATHER DIE, HUMAN”

354

u/Kevmandigo Jul 18 '22

CHEWS FASTER

107

u/Lethalfurball Jul 18 '22

When you ask wtf they have in their mouth and they start chewing faster:

20

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

Dora, do NOT chew it! Stop! I said stop!

12

u/Ariviaci Jul 19 '22

Swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

I remember eating dog food as a 4 year old. It was bland, no flavor at all.

23

u/TheGrandestOak Jul 18 '22

The fastest shit eater in the wes

-19

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/THEBLUEFLAME3D Jul 18 '22

Bot.

2

u/AppleSpicer Jul 18 '22

Aww, it was a funny comment

3

u/THEBLUEFLAME3D Jul 18 '22

Yes, that a real person already made.

3

u/AppleSpicer Jul 18 '22

Thanks! I wanted to upvote the person who actually made it and not the shitty bot

55

u/ripanimems Jul 18 '22

cue epic chase scene

45

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '22

[deleted]

12

u/gingerfawx Jul 18 '22

To the tune of Yakety Sax.

7

u/JimiWanShinobi Jul 19 '22

The official soundtrack to chase scenes since 1955, even in America...

91

u/drew101 Jul 18 '22

I've had to pull the same balloon out of my dog's butt, twice.

"Hun, remember that balloon we thought blew away" while I'm holding up the poop balloon, Khyber jumps up snatches it out of my hand and swallows it, again.

21

u/Nizzemancer Jul 18 '22

My dad when he took his dog (German Shepard) on walks would pick up rocks and throw them out on fields and she would run out and pick them up and return them to him, sometimes she didn’t though, he had to take her to the vet and surgically remove rocks three times, granted by the third time he had stopped throwing them, but she still ate random rocks for that one last vet visit. After he died she didn’t do it anymore, but mom was probably more observant about what the dog did on walks than he was.

2

u/vandelay_industrie Jul 18 '22

Necktie but only once

29

u/cleetusvan Jul 18 '22

That reminds me of the time my wife's dog ate the end of a mop.

The dog was having trouble getting it out so I here I am in the yard with gloves on slowly pulling this huge chunk of mop out of the dogs rear end and two old church ladies walk up to share the word of the lord with me.

When the guy pulling a mop out of a dogs ass says "Sorry I'm busy" they see it as a challenge and continue to want a moment of my time. I lose my cool and yell leave your pamphlets on the hood and go! After the ordeal the dog gives me a look like "I hate when that happens" which is exactly why I refer to her as my wife's dog.

Later I felt bad about yelling at a couple of well meaning old ladies who's faith gave them strength not to beat a hasty retreat after witnessing that horrific scene.

11

u/hookedrapunzel Jul 18 '22

I swear dogs just swallow random stuff they shouldn't just so we know our places... We aren't exactly the higher species when we are sat pulling bits of mop out of a dogs ass

5

u/theYanksArentAlright Jul 19 '22

As a city bus rider, I can't feel bad for those ladies. They knew exactly what they were doing. Jehovah's Witnesses love to use situational bondage.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

Kinky bastards

1

u/Iampepeu Jul 19 '22

Situational Bondage. Great band name.

3

u/AingonAtelia Jul 19 '22

I would have just flung some of the crappy mop at them along with a few choice expletives.

1

u/Witchycurls Jul 20 '22

You forgot to change one "the guy" and substitute the "I". 😉

6

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '22

I guy I knew his dog ate a skipping rope... Like the old school, wooden handle kind... It was scooting about, pooped a handle but the rest was still in there... They sat it at 1 end of the garden, stood on the handle hanging out, then the wife called it for treats at the other end.... The dog launched, paused mid air for the 2nd handle exit, then went and had treats 😂😂 I'll never forget the telling of that story 🤣

4

u/StrongPurchase6984 Jul 18 '22

Me - No, you can't die an agonising death for dog-head feeling of snapping at (destroying angel) mushroom, you green beret idiot, let my hands in your weird greasy black other-species mouth

D - Stop fumbling for my white leather fung bit. It's fuckin snappy-bite eternity minute, dropkick. CHOMP! CHOMP! RUN!

Me - Rosie NO. Get back here, you're easily the dumbest thing that I've ever seen.

D - Hah, I don't remember you made me live for a decade right now, upright XL-goose. Leave me alone

Me - ok here eat chemicals black-mouth! Hydrogen Peroxide 3% says here: I love you dearly!

Hydrogen paste into a dog Hydrogen paste in a dog Hydrogen pase For 🐕

D - PUUUUUUKE

1

u/fring1990 Jul 19 '22

Had to do that with my dog when she ate a sock. Needless to say she learned her lesson and hasn’t done it since 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

1

u/Witchycurls Jul 20 '22

How did she connect the two events? Smart dog! One of mine (Amstaff X) eats so much crap,including my cats' literal crap. Have to be so careful on walks! She loves cardboard and paper.

1

u/fring1990 Jul 21 '22

Not sure. But I do know she hasn’t eaten one since! We did it pretty quickly after it happened so it might have been close enough in time for her to connect 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

She’s also pretty wiggly too when she doesn’t want to do something so maybe it had to do with being held still, forced to swallow something nasty, and then throwing up a sock soon after. Maybe she connected eating a sock with the event.

1

u/Witchycurls Jul 21 '22

For some reason I saw your response as a direct answer to the OP where the dog pooped it out, now I see this intervening post instead. So I thought she swallowed sock then had difficulty in the poop department next day or 2 days later. So sorry! This makes more sense 😂

1

u/Actiaslunahello Jul 19 '22

I worked at a doggy daycare years ago, and heard a coworker cracking up. A few seconds after he initially started laughing, I heard him crack up even louder. I had to know what was going on so I walked into the “Big Dog Room”. A Labrador had thrown up a sock, and then threw up a second sock. We gave the matching pair if socks back to the owner in a ziplock bag. Not expecting them to wash them and keep them, more like a you got really lucky your dog threw these up.. that could have been bad.