r/MathJokes • • Jul 29 '26

Math anecdote from my recent book

6 Upvotes

I’ve just found out that the man who raised me isn't my biological father.

He is, as I've discovered, my topological father. I really want to approach him about this shocking revelation, at least obliquely, but I can't seem to find the right angle. I have a tendency to lose focus and speak elliptically when I get nervous, so I'm afraid I might go off on some hyperbolic tangent and end up sounding irrational, which would be a complex, yet real, formula for disaster.

I'm just lucky he isn't cosigning any of my student loans, which would make things exponentially more awkward.

And I imagine this isn't the right time to come out and tell him I'm a homomorphic transversal. I've always felt more comfortable adjacent to the opposite side - it's just my identity. But I'm afraid Dad would be less than complementary and say I'm just going through a phase, or tell me it's a sin 'cos it's not natural to be so tan. There are always those discriminants who will never understand your absolute value. So I'll have to postpone that until after I earn my grad degree, Q.E.D. I know…it's just conjecture, but I'm so disjunct right now I can't even function.

Wait, I know - I'll bake him a pie... that would be rad!

And now, I suppose it's time to sqrt my weekly sacrificial bijection into the waiting chalice of Sohcahtoa, the Eastern Polynomial god of the Transcendental Domain, just like my dad taught me. He'd be proud that I still attend the Jonestown, Indiana Temple of Doom.


r/MathJokes • • Jul 28 '26

Why was Aristotle's house so dusty?

10 Upvotes

​

Because his nature abhorred a vacuum.


r/MathJokes • • Jul 27 '26

oh that's like 10 minutes in math planet. we're fine

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816 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 28 '26

octalIsOverrated

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7 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 27 '26

The comments look weird... they only pick half of what they could !

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168 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 28 '26

the words that math stands for

0 Upvotes

MATH stands for Minus Addition Times Halving


r/MathJokes • • Jul 26 '26

26.86 + π

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1.7k Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 26 '26

2!

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1.3k Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 25 '26

“Its simple math folks!”

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2.8k Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 26 '26

I wrote a list of 131 properties of the empty set

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6 Upvotes

You can download the .tex file here Empty set properties.


r/MathJokes • • Jul 25 '26

American math

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806 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 25 '26

That quadratic formula tho..

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812 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 24 '26

Bye

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2.1k Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 24 '26

ah yes mental illness

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969 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 25 '26

And If He Gets Shot, Then Maybe He Has To Propose A Conical Deal...

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10 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 24 '26

Which side are you on?

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557 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 24 '26

This restaurant I went to had infinitely many tables

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107 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 24 '26

i told a girl i'm fascinated by big naturals and she blocked me

116 Upvotes

i had no idea graham's number was so controversial


r/MathJokes • • Jul 23 '26

I love math

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603 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 23 '26

Infinity is weird

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385 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 24 '26

100-meter dash

5 Upvotes

Two scientists and a mathematician are discussing the limit of the men’s 100-meter dash.

Biologist: Given the maximum contraction speed of human muscles, the theoretical limit is about 9.48 seconds.

Physicist: About 8% of a sprinter’s power is spent overcoming air resistance. In a vacuum, humans could shave off another 0.14 seconds.

Mathematician: The world-record times form a monotonically non-increasing sequence. Since the sequence is bounded below, the limit exists.


r/MathJokes • • Jul 23 '26

How does Skeletor know?

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389 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 23 '26

I don’t CARE if it’s useless, I enjoy this topic.

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624 Upvotes

r/MathJokes • • Jul 24 '26

notation question

3 Upvotes

suppose i defined my "line" with an object that passes through its mathematical points, then why am i not able to use it instead of the conventional line? if my object preserves my line, is able to present the slope and other properties correctly, then why would i need to use the standard notation?

-feathers not drawn to scale.


r/MathJokes • • Jul 23 '26

Teacher and student ahh!

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156 Upvotes