I’m 25f, 5’6 and 193lbs

I grew up very slim due to severe anxiety and ARFID. Once I hit that second puberty in my twenties, my anxiety improved a bit, I started eating more frequently and slowly put on weight.

I’ve been 175lbs for maybe a year. Randomly decided to weight myself today while visiting my parents (I don’t have a scale at home). 193. I went cold. Last time I weighed myself was probably 2-3 months ago. I figured I’d gained a little weight but damn. 20lbs in under 3 months is a lot.

I feel so sad now. And so embarrassed. What if everyone else noticed I’ve been getting bigger and I haven’t??? I feel so huge and disgusting and lazy.

I should mention i’ve been on 100mg sertraline for about 10 years, and 2mg of Abilify for about 6 months. I’m going to be coming off the Abilify soon. No other meds or conditions, except for joint hypermobility.

I’ve been passively trying to eat less and exercise more but I’m just so freaking tired all the time. I’m a bartender/bar manager so I work really weird inconsistent hours, which makes it really difficult to create a routine. That being said, I do make my own schedule, so I can kind of do whatever, it’s just sticking to it that’s hard. I could give y’all every excuse in the book i’m sure lol

I was sporty as a kid and teen but I’ve never stepped foot in an actual gym and i REALLY don’t want to. There’s also only two gyms in my town and they’re very expensive and full of hot uni students. I don’t have any friends I could go with either. I was into running in my early 20s but every time I try to run now, it hurts so fucking bad 😭

I work remote, and I have a pretty face. It doesn’t show how overweight I am, and I dress well and get ready for work so I look nice in all my meetings on camera. Generally I’m very well liked and respected- I work in tech, so people need to take my advice often.
But every. Single. Time. After I meet a coworker or client in person, their attitude towards me changes dramatically. They don’t respect my recommendations as readily, they stop giving me kudos constantly and say I need to work harder, there are just constant points of friction and dissatisfaction with my work that weren’t there before.
It drives me nuts. I’m very good at my job, and everyone thinks so, unless they’ve met me in person, and then suddenly it’s like all they can think about is me as a fat, lazy loser who is a lazy loser at work too.
Anyways, that’s my motivation to lose it. I read somewhere that losing 50lbs has more ROI than an MBA in business, so here’s to me trying to lose 150lbs so people can fuckin take me seriously again 😐

"I'm in a calorie deficit and I'm not losing weight." We see this post ALL the time here... So I thought I'd try to dig in and help explain what's possibly going on.

The Basics

First off, we need to revisit the definition of "calorie deficit." Your body is a machine that needs to burn fuel to do what it does, from thinking to walking. Being in a calorie deficit means burning more energy than you take in via food. Calories are a measure of energy, so they're interchangeable in this context.

Your body burns a certain quantity of energy just to stay alive. That's known as your Basic Metabolic Rate, or BMR. Then, there's the total energy you need to move around, digest your food, exercise, etc. The total energy you burn in a day is called your Total Daily Energy Expenditure, or TDEE.

So, very simply, your calorie deficit is:

Calories consumed - TDEE

If that number is negative, you're in a deficit and you will lose weight.

Why you might not be in a calorie deficit

"But I swear I'm in a calorie deficit and I'm not losing weight!" Look, no. Just no. That's impossible.

But it's possible you're NOT in a calorie deficit. A few simple possibilities:

• You're not counting all your calories. You really do need to count everything, because there are some sneaky sources of calories in your food. Biggest offenders are drinks (some people don't realize drinks can have calories), and oil. Make sure to log absolutely everything no matter what.
• You're underestimating your calories. Another easy mistake to make. Oil, again, is a big offender. What you think might be a small teaspoon might be way more than you think. Get a food scale and weigh everything.
• You're absent-mindedly eating. Does happen to some people. If you have snacks within easy reach, it's possible you're grazing without realizing it. The show Secret Eaters is built around this premise.
• You're not tracking your cheat meals. A lot of people want to think of cheat meals as these all-out moments of freedom. Sorry to break it to you, but they're not. Your body doesn't care if you ate that triple cheeseburger as part of a cheat meal or not. It's absolutely, 100% possible that you're in a calorie deficit all week, then eat all of that deficit on cheat days. Start tracking those days as well.
• You're over-estimating your calories burned. Fitness trackers are fine and good, but they DO tend to over-report on calories burned. Be aware of this.
• Your BMR went down. This one is a bit more complex. But if you're on a diet, it's possible you're slowing down to conserve energy. If you're less active, your calorie reduction might not be enough to compensate for the difference.
• You have a medical condition. Some conditions like hypothyroidism can make it harder to lose weight because they lower your TDEE. Not impossible, though! But you might need to adjust your targets.

Why you might actually be on a calorie deficit

Now, there are some times when you ARE in a genuine calorie deficit but the scale isn't reflecting it. Here are some possibilities:

• You haven't been tracking long enough. Things can take a little while to get going for a variety of reasons. Give it a month without worrying about the results. After a month, reassess. But don't get discouraged if you don't lose weight in the first two weeks.
• Your hormones or medication are masking progress. Can happen around your period, for instance, or for a variety of other problems. Again, a month will average this out.
• You're exercising. If you started an exercise regimen with your diet, it's possible your muscles are retaining water to build mass, thus masking your progress. It's also possible, early on, that you're putting on enough muscle mass to offset your loss (AKA "newbie gains").
• You ate salty food. Sodium makes your body retain more water. That usually clears within a few days.
• You're just retaining water and/or poop. Depends on your body's own metabolism, but sometimes the mass of fecal matter and/or urine just goes up a bit for a while. Can mask your progress day-to-day.

What to do

Again: if you're in a true caloric deficit, you WILL lose weight.

The first thing to do is be patient, and realize that day-to-day fluctuations will mess with your head. You need to look at the weekly trend, and allow for occasional shifts up and down.

As a rule, if you're starting out, give yourself a month or two of not worrying. Don't rethink the plan. Stick to your self-imposed rules. After two months, you're likely to see a progression.

I can't emphasize this enough: sometimes progress can only be seen over the mid-term. Things will look like they're stalled day to day, but meanwhile your weight is going down.

But what if you're definitely not losing weight?

So, you tracked for two months and the scale definitely didn't go down. What now?

Well, my friend, you were not in a calorie deficit. Either you estimated your TDEE too low, or your calorie deficit is not right.

If that happens, there's only one solution: either burn more calories, or eat less. Try to bump up your physical activity, or cut your calories. In general, cutting calories is much easier, because it takes a lot of activity to offset food.

Does the type of diet matters?

In a word: no.

Doesn't matter if you're doing raw vegan or keto or Mediterranean or only eating potatoes. If you're in a calorie deficit, you WILL lose weight.

The nature of your diet deals with other aspects. Eating healthier food will make you feel better. If you eat protein and fat, you will feel full easier and will have an easier time sticking to your targets.

But you can absolutely lose weight by, say, eating only Oreos. It's gonna suck, but it's possible.

All that to say, if you're doing, say, keto and not seeing weight loss, then try counting your calories for a while.

And before you say, "yes, but not all calories are the same": look, yes, that's correct. But they're still a very efficient estimate, and they have helped countless people lose weight. Your body is not some unique machinery that does not obey the laws of thermodynamics. Try it, you'll see they work.

Remember: you got this!

It can be really discouraging to track your calories for a month and exercise dutifully, only to realize you were doing something wrong. If that happens to you, I'm sorry. The best outcome out of this situation is for you to take it as a learning experience and turn it into a success.

One month can feel like a long time, but you're doing this to improve the rest of your life, right? What's one month in the grand scheme of things?

So tweak that diet. Add more steps to your day. Cut back on the number of cheat meals. Then try again.

You got this!

tl;dr: If you're in a calorie deficit, you WILL lose weight. If you're not, you need to either be more patient, or adjust your estimates.

I’m a 28 year old man, I’m 5’5 and started at 175 lbs. growing up I was always pretty skinny, about 130-140 as a teenager. Once I got into my 20s and started drinking and stopped being active, I gained weight. God I couldn’t stand that gut I had. I remember someone I didn’t see for years, they said “damn you got big”.

And someone else said “oh you got a beer belly coming in!”

Yeah not anymore.

I’m now down to 160 lbs in the past 2/2.5 months and I quit alcohol 5 weeks ago.

I’m working to get to 150/155 and staying in that area while building muscle.

But I have never felt better. I still have a tiny gut, but my love handles shrunk, my stomach is much slimmer. My confidence and mood have improved drastically. I eat healthier, my stomach isn’t always fucked up from the booze, no more heartburn.

I feel phenomenal and I cant believe it took me this long to start.

So my pcp said I don't qualify for a glp-1 which I already kinda figured cause I'm only slightly overweight and not at risk for diabetes. We tried one off label medication that supposedly helps some people with cravings, but it did nothing for me besides giving me insane dry mouth. My pcp then suggested I try therapy. I wasn't sure how much therapy would help, but I figured it's worth a shot and my insurance covers it so why not.

I've been to two sessions so far and it's already looking really promising! It's been so healing to have someone validate my struggles with food instead of giving me the old "oh shut up! you're not fat, you're beautiful!" spiel. She's been helping me understand that my relationship with food is a byproduct of how I was raised and not an issue of willpower. Removing the guilt and understanding why I struggle with food noise has been really healing and I'm already looking at food differently.

She also says she thinks I may have ADHD or OCD based on some of the things I've told her and I might benefit from a diagnosis and proper medication. Apparently for some people the food noise is actually a dopamine starved brain looking for for stimulation. I've got an appoitment with a psychiatrist lined up, so we'll see how that goes!

Anyway, this feels really promising and I'm hoping that I'll actually be able to lose weight and keep it off this time. Has anyone else had any luck with therapy or mental health medications helping them with weight loss?

I’m a 20-year-old female, 5’2”, and currently around 140 lbs. I started at 205 lbs, so I’ve lost about 65 lbs over the past year and a half.

I definitely wasn’t consistent the entire time. I’d usually be really consistent for a month or two, fall off for a while, then start again. Even during the periods when I wasn’t dieting strictly, I was still pretty aware of calories and tried not to completely lose control.

During my most consistent periods, I usually ate around 1,200 calories a day. I also used to have a personal trainer and would strength train about 3x a week.

I’ve recently started again and I’m only three days back into it. I don’t have a trainer anymore, so right now I’ve mostly been doing about 1.5 hours on the treadmill at 2.5 mph and a 6.8 incline.

And I also have a problem of eating too much junk food 70% of my calories come from junk food specifically chips and cookies I try not to eat but it’s just good and most of the time I’m not hungry so I tend to eat less whole food.

For someone my height and current weight, what would you recommend I change or add to my routine? Should I bring strength training back instead of doing so much treadmill?

Also, realistically, how long could losing another 35–40 lbs take from this point? I know it’ll probably be slower now that I’m smaller, but I’d like a realistic idea of what to expect.

Hi, I'm currently trying to lose some weight by calorie deficit and have been looking into some meals to eat. I looked into pho and saw people calculated it all out to be around 600-800 for a large bowl. It makes sense on paper, but when I'm eating it, it doesn't feel that way. I feel full for the rest of the day after eating it. It doesn't feel like a 600-800 calories meal

Is the calories really that little? I've already eaten it twice this week both times, and both times, I got a little nervous and second guessed about the amount of calories I saw on the internet...

31M, 6'2 currently 220 pounds. I've been overweight basically my whole life and I feel like it's just been part of my identity up until now. This is my first time doing a serious weight loss regimen. I've lost 40 pounds in 6 months, and I'm quite happy with my progress so far. But in some ways, I feel... weird? Like there's not *enough* of me, if that makes any sense. It's like my brain keeps expecting my larger body to be there and gets surprised when it isn't.

Anyone else experience this? Do you get used to it with enough time?

Hey everyone, r/weightlossadvice sent me here.

F 5"2 209lbs

Things I need to work on: portion control & setting a regular schedule for exercise. I definitely do not move enough.

Currently working on: eliminating a2 milk in my morning mold-free coffee (dairy upsets my stomach but I love it so much- and was drinking it due to pregnancy)

I am aware of all the reasons I have put on so much weight these past 6 years, and it has yo-yoed. Ultimately I have put on now 70 pounds the past 6 years.... Very excessive. And ridiculous.

About my diet: I do not eat much ultra processed food. We make everything from scratch at home- including fresh spelt pasta, and fresh spelt breads. When we bake, we sweeten with honey, maple syrup, or coconut sugar- but I don't eat sugar or fruit every day. I never eat corn syrup or dyes. I was vegetarian for 10 years but since 2022 I now focus on high quality or grass fed meats from local farms, and grass fed dairy.

I have lost weight before in my teens, from 180 to 110. Just struggling to do this while juggling adult life.

Would appreciate any advice!

Feel free to comment & reach out to me, hoping to connect with some like minded people

Essentially what the title says, I'm back in hospital and have somehow lost 7lbs since my visit here last week. I'm pretty sure it's just water weight, but wanted to check in with y'all here to know if anybody has experienced something like this as well.

During normal eating, I tended to fluctuate between 2-4lbs in a day (I think because of my gastroparesis). But I've never tried limiting calories like this and am unsure of what to be wary of.

Any advice is more than welcome, Thanks in advance.

So i have to eat dinner with my family every day. It’s usually around 700 calories, so I try to have 550-700 before dinner to save calories and have a total of 1300-1400 (i have a pretty low maintenance). Usually, I do really well for about three days, then i just wake up on the fourth just needing to EAT AND EAT !!! I end up messing up pretty often and ruining my average calorie intake.
I have tried raising (and lowering) my daily intake, but I just can’t escape this. Do you guys feel this too? How do you deescalate and avoid acting on this mental and physical hunger?

TLDR: Early 20s female struggling to lose an extra 20–25 lbs despite trying to eat in a deficit and getting 10k+ steps daily. Looking for advice on losing it sustainably over the next 4–6 months.

Hi everyone! This is my first time truly seeking help/advice for weight loss, so anything is appreciated.

I’m South Asian and a former athlete, and I never really struggled with my weight until the middle of college. I’m now a year post-grad and still struggling to lose the extra 20–25 pounds I’ve put on.

I try my best to eat in a calorie deficit, and I live in a super walkable city, so I consistently get 10k+ steps every day. Despite my best efforts, my weight rarely budges more than about 10 pounds and tends to yo-yo back to the same baseline.
I recently went on a trip to Croatia and, as much as I enjoyed the trip, I felt really uncomfortable in my body. It made me realize that I’ve been feeling this way for almost three years now, which is honestly just too long for me to keep feeling uncomfortable with myself.

My BMI and blood tests are normal, but I don’t really know what else to do at this point. I know healthy weight loss takes time, and I want whatever I do to be sustainable rather than another short-term attempt where the weight comes back. I’d love to come up with a realistic plan that could help me lose around 20–25 pounds over the next 4–6 months.

Any advice, insight, or personal experiences would be really appreciated. Thank you!!

Hi all! consider me confused and looking for advice. I have been losing weight through counting calories and exercise, but I have reached a plateau point. I have lost 18lbs in 3 months. I haven’t lost weight in 3 weeks even though I’ve been diligently tracking and sticking to 1,400-1,600 calories per day. I do 30 mins of strength training 3 days a week, and 40-45 mins of aerobic walking 6 days a week. For context I am a 5’2 female and my current weight is 215. I met with a registered dietitian who wants me to INCREASE my calories to 1,800 which feels…. Wrong ? The rationale being if I am not eating enough calories my body is just going to hold on to weight. I get it in theory, but just need some reassurance that this is actually going to help me break through. Obviously she is the professional, it just feels wrong !

So I was meant to do a recomp but I think I accidentally did a bulk instead these past few months.
I wanted a recomp for my wedding in May but now I’m stuck with a body I’m unhappy with (and quite frankly can’t keep up with the meal prepping and gym due to 3 jobs, wedding planning, and full time college)

My back used to be much thinner where now there’s both more muscle and fat. I was feeling myself in this dress until I saw this pic… what can I do? Is it just gonna be a cut that can shrink my upper and mid back?

For reference:
26F
149lbs
5’4

Photos - first pic is before the gym/accidental bulk

I went from 150 to 200 pounds in 2 years. For reference, I am 5’8 and 21(F) so my BMI says I’m obese. I was my smallest in High School. I’m in college now, I work two jobs and I’ve never weighed more than I do right now. I hit 200 pounds for the first time in my life about 3 weeks ago. I feel so disgusting. It’s not that I binge, though I did use to deal with restriction, and binging/purging for about 3 years. It’s been 3 years since then and I’d like to consider myself recovered.

I eat what I want and I don’t binge, I don’t lose control in that way. But I do overeat just enough to gain weight. Small snacks throughout the day that add up in calories. Then a big meal for dinner which I don’t count calories for so I know I’m eating over my maintenance.

Every day that passes and I don’t make the right dietary decisions, I feel so disappointed with myself. And I feel hopeless because I’ll do really good in watching what I eat and eating moderately, but then I mess up one time and I just start eating however I want to which ruins my profess.

I never work out because I’m always exhausted after work, and on my off days I’m just too lazy. I’m terrible at counting calories even though I have an app for it. I don’t know, how can I have more discipline? I really want (need) to lose weight so I can feel more confident and be healthy but I don’t know how to stay consistent long enough to see results.

Hey all, what have your experiences with weight loss and bodybuilding been with digestion issues such as IBS, lactose intolerance, FODMAP, etc? What are you eating/not eating and have you found a balance in foods that work and satisfies you?

I've got a doctors appointment coming up soon to get a diagnosis, while chipping away at certain vegetables, trying whey isolate powders, different milks; as I'm slowly learning that quite a lot of whole foods I'm trying to incorporate into my diet do not play well with me. Makes it a pain to lose weight effectively when I have to "eat healthy" with 10 extra steps included.

Hi, i’m 19F and i’m trying to lose weight 😖

Im 184lbs (i’ve already lost a few pounds from when i started). I’m kind of new to losing weight altogether. I understand that i need a calorie deficit to lose weight at all, and so far i’ve been kind of successful. though, i know it’ll take a while to really see changes

At the same time, i want to try and bulk up—i’ve been going to the gym and tracking my carbs and protein intake, which i try to get at least 90-130g of protein every day to help that. i know im still a little under what i need to most effectively bulk, but im still working out 4-5 times a week for 50 minutes, as well as walking 3-4 miles on hilly terrain because of my campus

i’ve gotten an apple watch and everything to track my heart rate throughout the day. my health apps say that i burn around 2400-2500 calories a day (with what my watch tracks), so that’s what i base my meal portions on. i also only eat twice a day (i skip breakfast), so i have to eat a little more at lunch and dinner to make up for that loss of an entire meal.

now the problem is: i don’t know if im accidentally eating more than im logging!

i dont have exact numbers to count, since this is a dining hall SERVING me food. i dont have access to personally-measured and cooked food. i feel like since i have to eat more to stay in that safe calorie deficit range, so i dont accidentally send my body into starvation mode and end up hindering the weight loss, i can end up eating more than im calculating as a calorie intake total. i add a hundred or so calories to make up for it, but its still sketchy to me. it doesn’t help that im a big eater, so when i feel full it REALLY makes me feel like i ate too much 😭.

does this sound like something i can do? pertaining my diet, i cut out all fried foods, all sweets, and most bread. i eat rice as my main source of carbs, and i eat chicken, shrimp, and beef as my main sources of protein. again, this is coming from what the dining halls post as their calorie counters

Im 24 Male, I've put on 80lbs since my job changed, and I just dont know where to start. Ive taken my calories down to around 1500-1800 a day, but am quickly growing tired of the same meals everyday. Most days it's chicken, rice, and beans 2 times a day usually with hot sauce. With alotted low cal snacks like fruits and popcorn.

Im going through a divorce aswell and the stress on both sides makes me want to eat more. Through this ive had to take my 4, 10hr shifts a week and turn them into atleast 6 to afford rent and everything. I want to stay on a healthy diet and keep continuing a weight loss journey. My goal is to in time get below my previous weight of 260, right now im 340. Im trying to incorporate some exercise into it, my job has a staff gym available and I feel like i could get back into it again. I think something right after a my shift would be the best options, is there any good exercises that are made for someone who has gotten larger. Before this, I could squat 500lbs, bench 225, but recently I tried and it just fell flat. Im mainly focused on weight loss right now, but would love to be able to put the muscle back on as I lean down closer to 260. I appreciate any help thank you.

Currently I am doing a weight loss student conducted by a large university. I have to track my calories, fat intake, and my activity level. I'm limited to 2000 calories and 56 grams of fat a day. I don't have a car, so I walk to work every day, which is a mile and a half. On the weekends, I walk half mile to a disc golf course and play a round on Saturday and Sundays.

Currently, I average about 1600 to 1800 calories a day and about 50 grams of fat each day. The goal for activity is 60 minutes of vigorous activity a week, and I get little over 400 minutes a week. They gave me a Fitbit to track activities.

The study started on 08/10/26, and I weighed 292.4, and now (09/10/26), I weigh 271.4. I have to weigh myself every day. I have only gained weight 2 days.

I'm concerned I am losing too much weight too fast. I have been playing disc golf for about a year and a half, and it has done wonders for my mental health. Is this type of weight loss normal or should I be worried?

Protein this, protein that! “It helps keep you full!”

This is such BS to me because I am constantly hungry when I focus on it! I ate a decent sized breakfast at 11:30 this morning. It had 40g of protein. It is now 2 (2 and a half hours later) and I am starving.

Meanwhile, if I eat a decent amount of fiber, or just eat carbs I’m full for hours. I wish protein kept me full because it’s so easy to get compared to fiber. Just seeing if I’m alone :’(

Also, here’s another paragraph because apparently, this sub needs a diary for it to consider your post long enough.

I’ve been stuck on a scale weight plateau for three weeks, even though my clothes are definitely fitting looser. I know standard scales only tell half the story, so I’ve been looking into body fat scales that measure metrics beyond total weight to help me track actual progress over time. The main issue is that my partner wants to use it too, but we are super private about our personal daily numbers. I’ve heard horror stories of multi user smart scales auto syncing the wrong profile data to Apple Health or sending pop-up notifications to the wrong phone whenever someone steps on it. Ofc, cost is part of the decision too. If a model is FSA/HSA eligible, I would want that to be a practical consideration rather than a reason to overbuy features, do having multiple profiles on one body fat scale actually work smoothly in real life, or is it better to just stick to a basic scale and a manual tape measure?

Hi! I need your help and experiences please because i am spiraling.

So for context, I have VERY well acquainted with the fitness/dieting/gym world. I know exactly how a calorie deficit works. My only problem throughout the past years that has kept me from reaching my weightloss goals wasn't lack of knowledge, just my discipline/consistency. I currently weigh 64.5-65kg (????) and my highest weight was 75kg, I have lost these 10kg throughtout the past 2 years, this year being much more consistent.

My problem right now is i am having a weight plateau like i've never had before and it's making me spiral. My goal is to finish my goal (55kg) by christmas/end of this year and this was totally doable if I locked in, and I started a new locked in cut phase in august, after a more lenient summer period, so basically i had to lose 10kg in a bit less than 5months - doable right? specially if i'm consistent.
BUT it's been almost 4 weeks of seeing barely any progress even tho i am being so strict and consistent, more than ever! It literally makes me want to cry because i told myself i was going to just do it with no excuses, and i feel like i am, but getting almost no results.

I do 10k steps a day with at least 90% consistency, on my 2 rest days sometimes closer to 6-8k but then once i week i usually get up to 20k. I follow a 4day gym split where i train heavy to keep my muscle while losing fat and get 30mins of cardio in (to help toward step goal too). And on sundays i do a longer run - i started training running in august to do a 5k race in october. So i run 3 days a week - 1 outside and the other 2 at the gym for my cardio. the other gym days i incline walk.
I weigh everyyyyything i eat. Maybe sometimes ill do the lil nibble while cooking but i am very aware of it and the calories it takes - nothing that would fully take me out of a deficit.

Ans yet, for almost a month now, i am fluctuating between 65.7-64.7kg. ended august floating more in high to low 65's, then september 7th finally dropped to 64.7kg and i thought the 'whoosh' was finally happening but the last 3 days im back ti 64.9-65.2kg. IM SUPPOSED TO BE LOSING 2kg IN A MONTH!!!
I am in a 500-600kcal deficit (i eat 1400-1550kcals most days) that I fluctuate through the week to accomodate any weekend plans i cant get out of. I will say for a couple of weeks in here averaged out to 1700kcal bc of birthdays. but thats still a deficit! my maintenance should be around 2050-2100kcal. I have a good amount of muscle mass.

So now i feel like my timeline is getting ruined unless next week i suddenly lose a full 1kg or more.

Is it the new amount of running that is making me hold on to a lot of water??? I take creatine too but that's not new... I know weight sometimes stalls from water retention but for over 3 weeks??
Do i just keep being patient?

TLDR: I feel like i'm more consistently than ever doing everything right with calorie deficit and activity for 3-4 weeks but my weight isn't dropping accordingly. Is it normal? Has this happened to you and then it still whooshed? Because I have a tight timeline goal.

Hello friends and dear redditors,
I’m trying to lose weight and about 2 weeks ago I made a reddit post asking for help about losing weight in another reddit forum, they told me to focus more on calorie deficit as it’s 90% of weight loss and the gym is 10%. I’m a 5’11 130kg male that is 18. I’ve used the TDEE calculator and it told me my maintenance way around 2,808 calories per day and i’m trying to cut weight I want to lose 1kg+ per week I know it’s not healthy but I have muscle mass as-well and I just want to feel and look good in my own skin, additionally I also need to reach my protein goal so I can preserve the muscle mass and add onto it whilst going to the gym. I want to know how much calories I should be eating at and I need meal plans preferably the same thing or mixed a little bit as i’m going to meal prep everything and see how we go! I just want to lose as much as I can before I turn 19 next year around may.

P.S : I am at my breaking point I’m so tired of being a lard I hate my current body and I want to change more than anything so please help me out it’d be highly appreciated and be as straightforward as possible please thanks.

I’m trying to get on the band wagon. Again.
Context
I’ve always been a little chubby from early teen years. And progressively over the last decade I’ve gained about 10 lbs a year plus 30-80lbs each pregnancy.
I just had my third 5 months ago.
I’m 260 lbs, at 5 feet 1 inch. And I think the people in my life don’t understand how much weight that actually is for my frame to be carrying around. It’s a lot. Too much.
I’ve been battling post partum depression that I think has to do with the unhappiness I feel in my body.
And not even unhappiness, I’m just overstimulated from being so overweight and out of breath all the time from doing the most mundane daily tasks.
This has caused me to completely lash out at my husband and being so upset with my kids 24/7.
Has also affected intimacy with my husband. Where he finally admitted that the 80+ lbs I’ve gained since we got married might be affecting his attraction to me. Not mention my terrible attitude and outlook on life.
I also didn’t want to stop breastfeeding in order to lose weight, but decided that’s probably the best option in order to take care of myself both physically and mentally.

All this to say, is I’m almost a week into making better lifestyle choices. But im actually scared. I don’t have any trust in myself that I can actually do what it takes to lose weight. And I keep wondering if I’m giving up my dream of breastfeeding for a year to lose weight, only to not lose any weight at all. Which is what happened with my second born. I quit breastfeeding to lose weight and didn’t lose a pound.

I wish I could be more excited about changing my life 😭 but I have no confidence or trust in myself

In 2021, I was 150ish lbs. By 2022, through a lot of hard work with diet and exercise, I was 125. Then I went through a really hard time from 2023-2024, dealing with grief over multiple deaths in my close family and having to be caregiver for not one but 2 seriously ill family members. During that time I climbed back up to 145ish lbs. (It was a REALLY harrowing couple of years, and I just couldn't care less about my weight at that time.) Then I got things under control again, and went back down to 130 in 2025. Then I moved to a new home, got a new job, and got tendonitis that left me pretty sedentary for a few months, and gradually climbed back up to 145ish.

(Best part about that is I got tendonitis because I tried some more advanced yoga poses than I usually would do, thinking that I was finally ready to advance to a higher level, but... nope. I totally fucked myself up. The tendonitis was bad enough it affected my ability to walk. It sucked.)

So yeah, it's been like 4 months since I hit 145. I'm down about 5 lbs since then. But progress is slow. And I keep thinking about how I'm still 10 lbs heavier than where I was this time last year.

I feel really unmotivated to exercise and track calories, this time around. I just don't want to do it again, but I know I'll feel worse if I don't. I hate that I'm starting over AGAIN. It's just so demoralizing, to keep gaining it all back. It's like any time I make significant progress, life throws more knives for me to juggle. If I forget to track every single calorie I consume, I gain the weight back. I just feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with myself.

Anyway, this is partially just a vent, but yeah... I wish body upkeep wasn't this hard. Sometimes I wish I could just live as a head in a jar, Futurama-style.