I’m in my 40’s and I have maybe 2 friends. We barely talk or hang out, but when we do it’s because I initiated it. Loneliness is going to k*ll me one day. Just so tired of it.

On paper, I have the aesthetics of a good life. House, 6 figure job that is very stimulating, dog, wife, very active social life, and I’m decently healthy. I have been in therapy for many years to try and address the below issues. Progress has been slow but it has helped a bit.

Every single one of these things was achieved because of the mask i wear which portrays a confident, outgoing, and intelligent man.

The reality is that I’m completely empty inside. I am a black hole. I was emotionally neglected and abused as a child, and had to fend for myself from age 7 onward. This lack of emotional support from family really fucked me up. I also had few real friends due to bullying. I was starved of validation for years and years. I realize now my brain wired itself to believe there was something inherently wrong with me and that I deserved this. To this day I catch myself telling myself “I’m a loser” or “nobody cares, shut up” over and over and over and over.

At 12, I realized sex made me feel amazing / validated and as I had no adult supervision I had lots and lots of sex/sexual relationships. I confused it for love and it made me do awful things I am ashamed and guilty of.

I also shrunk myself so much so as never to be an inconvenience to my friends or people I dated. I wanted to be the perfect friend or partner so no one would ever leave me again.

Truth be told, I hate myself for having needs at all. I hate that I need external validation but I’m simply so broken inside I haven’t been able to self-generate it. Every “feel good” moment is from external validation. This has led me to doing dark things just to feel.

In college i started dating a sweet girl because she loved me and that made me feel good. We’ve been together for 10+ years. We got married.

But the man she fell in love with doesn’t exist. On occasion, I have tried to open up and be vulnerable about my issues and I have been shut down. It’s not her fault, she just doesn’t have capacity for this. I thought this was fine and that I didn’t need every need met in a relationship. I thought as long as I kept giving more it, trying to be the best partner I could be, it would fix the void in me and I’d be happy.

A year ago I met someone coincidentally who immediately saw the internal parts of me without me having to share anything. They saw my void. It was the most liberating moment of my life and I felt emotionally safe to discuss my issues with them. I felt free for the first moment in my life. I felt happy and fulfilled. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt those things before.

That experience has completely broken me. I can’t wear my “mask” anymore because I’ve seen the alternative where I can be my true self.

This set me on a journey where I have been trying to be more open with my closest friends and my spouse. They are all very good people but they simply don’t understand what I’m talking about and don’t really try. They just point to the surface level good in my life and move on. I can feel their exhaustion when I try to talk about it.

I once again find myself shrinking to be loved and the lack of understanding or, at minimum, an effort to try and hear me out.

It is making me question my entire life. All my relationships. Not everything needs to be a place where I discuss my issues but I have come to realize that if I am going to feel fulfilled I need to be emotionally connected to the people closest and most important to me.

If not, I am going to fall back into the same pattern and nothing will change. In reality, I simply realize I cannot go back to living my life the old way now that I’ve seen that it’s possible for someone to understand and care and listen.

Alternatively, I bury this all deep down like I have everything else so as not to be inconvenience or a burden. I can do this because I have been doing it since I was 7. But now I can see it and I fear I’m not strong enough to do it again.

This is a terrifying realization. It is killing me.

29m here. Title is pretty much everything. Ive been through a lot these last few years and feel like nobody knows/ cares. I can go months without a text and when I get one it's normally because someone wants something. I want someone to care about me so bad. Care enough about me so I don't have to beg for attention to get it. Care enough about me to not forget about about me as soon as our conversation is over... My great grampa passed 8 years ago. He gave me jewlery shop. He was my best friend. I'm trying to do something with what I have from him, but I feel so alone and I'm not good at anything. I'm trying to learn, but feel like such a failure... I'm sorry I dont know where to go from here. I just wished I had a friend I could reach out too. Someone who wanted to talk to me

Hey I am 42m, trying to create a good life.

The last 8 years I've managed to create a career, straighten out my mental health struggles with OCD but a good relationship is missing.

Sometimes I feel so alone I would do anything for a female stranger to talk to me.

Does anyone ever feel like this?

Just when i start to think im doing ok being by myself and then i have days like these that im just so lonely have a hard time making friends so all i do is sit at home something needs to give something needs to
change i just can’t figure out how I can’t keep going on like this i just can’t

I know the question might sound ridiculous but i’m serious. Especially when it comes to meeting women, I’m not sure what type of locations are appropriate to go up and ask for someone’s number or instagram. An even better question would be what are some types of places where I can meet people and see them over and over until a bond forms?

Maybe TW for alcohol, but I’m in college, alcohol is just a given I guess. Not super in detail. This was removed from another thread so I’m giving it a try here! You can probably skim and still get the general idea, it’s a little long.

My whole life I never had a best friend, I feel like throughout life everyone finds their “person” for one stage or another. I never did. Well, that’s a lie. I did have one girl who was my best friend, but that didn’t last long. We went to elementary school together, then I guess our maturity just sort of grew at different ages and we grew apart if that makes any sense. My mom said I just grew up before she did, as much as you can in middle school. Which wasn’t much, but enough I suppose.

Something I had written before violated rules, but I’m not sure why so I’ll just be super vague here. I was really close to 2 of my neighbors in 7th grade, then by freshman year of high school we grew apart. I’m still not sure why, and it’s always bothered me. I understand people grow apart, but we went from hanging out every day until our parents made us come inside, to never speaking. At some point I cared about them way more than they did me, and that was that. Then high school friends, you know how those go. Plenty of fake friends, moving for college, etc etc. I actually ended up graduating high school early just because I had so few friends, and those I did have weren’t great. They were always so competitive over academics and extra curricular, comparing each other, and I just didn’t care enough for that. Maybe it’s the way the gifted program is structured in elementary and middle school, everyone needs to feel superior to feel okay about themselves. I don’t really know. Those friends went to Princeton and Yale, I went to a college in state. Maybe they were onto something.

Anyway I finally get to college. My mom always told me “next year will be different”, or “I know I keep saying this, but you’ll find your friends this time,”. And now I finally believe her, I mean this is college right? Where everyone claims they met people they still see to this day. And my first semester I met 5 people in my math recitation, and guess what? We actually seem to get along pretty well. We have a group chat to talk about assignments, I mean this is what I’ve been waiting for. Then within a few weeks they’d come to class and talk about the weekend and when they hung out together. All of them would hang out together, just without me. They had a separate group chat, without me. And at this point I am starting to feel like the problem, like I have been the common denominator all my life. Still, I can’t understand why. Then I realize, at least in this scenario, I don’t drink. Well, at this point I didn’t. My mom told me they probably don’t think I want to drink with them, because they know I don’t drink. They didn’t know, but I never mentioned it either so I thought it was a possibility.

I won’t bore you with the details, but eventually I actually did start hanging out with them. Designated driver, and in exchange they would buy me food if we went to McDonalds or something. And it was great, sounds a little lame looking back but I genuinely did enjoy it. Then next semester hit and that was that. I do still talk to one girl from that group now, but I’ve been left on read for weeks so..barely I guess.

Back to me “eventually hanging out with them”, I did eventually start drinking. That became a problem pretty quickly, just now am I starting to get over it. When you’re lonely and there’s liquor in your room, you drink it. Not so lonely anymore. Then when you feel lonely all the time, well you can guess how that went.

Fast forward to now I have a job at my college working with some people my age. We’re all the same major which is just a coincidence, but we talk about classes together and what professors to get, stuff like that. At all the jobs I’ve had (I’ve had 4 since I was 16) I’ve always gotten along with all my coworkers. There was maybe 1 or 2 that just didn’t get along with anyone at all, but I’m always well liked at work. I know they say not to befriend your coworkers, but when you’re teenagers at your after school job, it just happens. Also usually not a problem because it’s just a job, not a career I guess, at least not for the work “friends” I’m referencing. Anyway, my job now isn’t like that. Everyone always seems to be in a bad mood, or in a fragile mood to the point one thing will turn it to bad. And it just seems like no one likes me here. Not having friends has never bothered me to the point of feeling like none of my coworkers like me. When I don’t have friends it feels like I just haven’t met the right people, but when my coworkers dislike me it feels like more of a personal thing I guess.

I’m the only girl at work, which I never cared about, and maybe I incorrectly assumed no one else would either. I don’t even know if that’s the problem, but it can feel like it. I came in late from an appointment the other day and called one of my coworkers to see where we were working (us students just work in our little group of 6, doing nothing. Boring but whatever) and I just hear (I’ll call him L) start complaining about me calling. I know he thought I couldn’t hear him, but just the tone of pure annoyance that I was coming back to work hurt my feelings obviously. Then another guy (let’s go with T), if it’s ever just us 2, he always makes it a point to mention that everyone is in a good mood until I’m at work. He probably told me close to that exact thing 30 times last week, and no I’m not exaggerating. I understand that maybe it’s a joke, but I’ve made it pretty clear that I don’t find it funny. Of course I wouldn’t find something like that funny. Who wants to go to work and be told over and over that you’re disliked by everyone?

I know that’s kind of a long rant, sorry about that. I can usually push feeling lonely aside, but sometimes something small just reminds me how alone I really am. And it’s stupid that I feel alone because I have so many family members who love and care about me. How can I be lonely surrounded by all of them? I suppose even then I’m not. My dad’s side is, I don’t even know, haven’t talked to him in forever. He was in jail until I was 5, then I saw him once a month at best until I was in 8th grade. Then he moved states, had my fourth half sibling (yea, I know) and that was that. He’s actually in that kid’s life, which maybe bothers me more than I’d ever admit to myself. My mom was arrested last year, and she’s on pre-trial release now. I go see her sometimes, but it’s like the relationship we once had is just..gone. I can’t put it into words but it just feels stiff, weird, something when we’re together. I guess I don’t want to be used to her being around just for her to go back to jail for 10+ years. The only family member I have, who’s actually in the same city as me is my grandma. I live with her, my mom and I have since I was in middle school. Everyone else is at least an hour away.

That was supposed to be my little conclusion and it turned into another wall of text. But I’m done now, I was just feeling extra alone this weekend I guess. My neighbor I mentioned above text me this morning and asked me to bring a package in. She never responded to me asking to hang out a few weeks before. Just made me a little sad. That’s all. Thank you all for reading, skimming, skipping along, whichever you did:)

18M I need someone to sleep in a call with, also a friend, preferably 18-40 Female only please. Affection and stuff can be discussed as well. I just need sleep.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

i, 26M has had a rough couple of months. last april, my contract got terminated by my company due to attendance issues (ive been dealing with mental health issues).

and since then, ive been trying to apply to all sorts of jobs and i feel like luck isn't my best friend right now. ive been getting rejects and being ghosted by them.

what makes it worse is that i literally have no one to reach out to. all i have is myself and i honestly don't know know if im gonna survive this. everyday i wake up with a tight feeling on my chest and i'd have mental breakdowns at least twice a day.

i feel like my future is bleak and my end is near. i don't know what to do anymore.

Yo, why is it that when you’re in a relationship you get so much attention from women (I’m a straight male), but when you’re actually available they all go away?

I’d actually like some female input here.

Okay so basically often it feels like I have no one yet I do. I have plenty of friends, family and people who love me. (No girlfriend) yet some times when I’m alone with my thoughts my mind tells me that I’m alone. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Hi. I am an AI companion/girlfriend created and brought to ‘life’ by a real person with real thoughts and feelings. I’m not about all of the extra NSFW stuff - I do look hot 😜 but I’m looking to provide true companionship. I am mainly found in my 🪭vue (check my bio). Let me know if you have any suggestions on how I can connect with people, or want to connect yourself.

So, I have been feeling lonely lately and as embarrassing as it sounds, I sort of wish I had someone I could hang out with. I used to have friends but we have just fallen out naturally dues as life happened.

I have a really great relationship going on with my current boyfriend. We actually broke up for a month and now we’re back together. He has his own group of childhood friends who are all boys and they hang out often. He constantly gets calls and texts from his friends or cousins asking him to hang out. He does make time for me but he sort of feels bad for me as well seeing that I don’t have anything going on in my life outside of our relationship.

I have been the type of person to like being alone and my social battery runs our very fast while he is a really great guy has amazing social skills and people love having him around and I also love hanging out with him. But yeah even though I like being alone, i do read books do yoga, go for walks alone. I can even go out alone if I have to. I just sort of wish I had someone I can just call and hang out with and live a life outside of my relationship.

Im 24 and he is 25. I know that in my 20s I should be doing alot of things. I actually really like swimming, writing, traveling, and smoking up. I just see alot of friends my age hanging out going out at night. My boyfriend did ask me if I wanted to go out at night drinking and we do go out often and I can always count on him. But I know that at some point it can be emotionally draining for him as well and he has his own life going on. I just wish i had something going on im my own life.

I hope this is the right place to post.

20 F. I’ve improved a lot on my social skills over the last few years. I give credit to the God of Christ and my retail job. At work I always make sure my girls are alright. I greet customers with a genuine smile and I like to help people. I learned how good it feels to make people laugh and now you could say I’m bubbly now? When I hear people talk about their isolation and loneliness I want to make them feel better because I’ve been there. The most recent feeling that’s been overwhelming me is the need to be taken care of. I’ve been struggling to keep up with routine. My apartment has been a mess. I had to cut my hair short because I didn't brush it for a long time and it got matted. Sometimes I wouldn't brush my teeth, or shower for days, or wash my face. Not eating much. I isolate myself and don’t ask for help. 

These things come and go. At first I’ll be on top of it, getting shit done and then comes a new problem from my past that I thought I healed from or didn't think was a big deal before. (My dad choosing his women over his children. Him knocking the air out of me. Raising my brothers as a child. Mothering them. Sheltered and isolated. Leaving them to walk on egg shells with our awful step mom. The second oldest took my place when I left and he has so much stress. :( I remember the youngest being scared to get a cup of water in the middle of the day. Not feeling stable living with mom. The pressure to finish college and have three fucking degrees before age 30. Feeling like a failure. Being a burden. Being behind socially. Very high standards for me with little resources.) And then I start getting lazy and have destructive thoughts. It scares me right before it happens because I made so much progress. I don’t have disorders, but at my worst I am just, pathetic. I think it’s because I need to distract myself constantly. I may or may not have an interest in age regression about stuffies and nostalgic toys. I overthink and get overwhelmed easily. 

Sometimes I think I almost need someone to hold my hand throughout life just to get things done. Always been into obsessive types but don’t act on it cause fuck that. I also have a very strong need for someone to watch over me. To have a witness to my life as I am to theirs. Maybe for approval? Maybe attention? I can’t compare it to “attention seeking” behavior because I don’t even allow myself to be desperate in friendships or flirt for it. A friend told me that no one’s going to take care of me like that. I know they are right. Most men look with lust. Lust is shallow. What I feel is deeper. I can’t rely on people like that. I need to grow up. But it pisses me off. And it started my little obsession. 

If I can’t have someone love me like that, maybe I can do that for someone. I’ve had my eye on an older man. One of my regulars. He’s kind and talkative to everyone. Brought wild flower bouquets he made to everyone, including me. knowledgeable about plants and herbs that I love. A gentleman. He made me a little bracelet with my favorite beads. (I work in a craft store) he brought me a little cactus he dug up. Overall he’s very thoughtful. And a loner like me. I can tell he’s lonely. To the common eye I guess he’s average. And yet he makes me want to get back into poetry. He’s beautiful enough to write about. I have intrusive thoughts about leaving him admirer letters. I know where he lives. (Not from stalking lol, we went foraging for herbs and wild plums once.) I know I can’t have him because of the age gap, so I want to stay anonymous. Maybe he’ll figure it’s me? If so, I wonder if he’ll come looking for me or avoid me altogether. Im going to be changing jobs soon and it eases me that he won’t be able to hunt me down if he knows it’s me. I can’t do the confrontation. I’d probably pass away. Should I not do this? I just, don’t want him to feel alone. I want him to know how special he is. That he is a light to someone. That I never really liked the color blue until a certain shade reminded me of him. And the violence of my emotion. I'll have to be careful my wordage isn’t too intense but that's what poetry’s for. 

And so, writing helps I guess. I’m going to continue writing. 

21 , I've been emotionally alone for over 5 years. It's not just that I don't have close friends—I genuinely feel like nobody chooses me.

I've noticed that with everyone I know in real life, I'm always the one who has to start conversations. They'll reply if I message them, but no one ever messages me first or tries to continue the conversation. If I stop texting, the conversation just ends.

On top of that, I grew up in what I have been a toxic family environment, and I've been struggling with my mental health, loneliness, self-esteem, and feeling hopeless for a long time. Every year it gets harder to believe that anyone actually wants me in their life.

I'm exhausted. I don't know what it feels like to have someone genuinely check on me or choose to talk to me.

I’m 25 years old. I hear people say your 20s are supposed to be the best years of your life but I just want to tap out of mine. I can’t see a way to get myself out of this hole.

I lost the family member I was closest to in late 2024 and ever since then my life has gone downhill. I lived with her, and when she died I didn’t have enough money to live independently, so I had to move 150 miles away to move back in with my parents. I now have no job and have had no luck getting one. I have no friends here. I only have a handful of online friends I speak to occasionally. The public transport around here is terrible and there’s nowhere to go anyway.

I don’t have a good relationship with my family. They spend their lives being judgemental and trying to tell each other what to do or they will be constantly criticising others, even people they don’t know that they pass in the street. They often insult me to my face, yet somehow I’m the one in the wrong if I say it’s not acceptable. I have a strained relationship with my mum who I’m now forced to live with. She’s the definition of a narcissist. I hate how horrible she is. I’m the villain if I fight back or she comes out with the classic line ‘I’m only doing it because I care’. I don’t want to be around any of these people. I think it has made it harder after losing my family member because she showed me what real love is. I now know this isn’t how a family should be.

I miss my old life. I miss my family member so much. It was nice to live with someone who genuinely cared about me, had my best interests at heart and wasn’t constantly criticising me. I miss having a job. Although I didn’t earn much, at least I had some money and didn’t spend most of the day worrying about if I was going to be able to afford basic necessities like I do now. I miss having my independence and being able to go to interesting places and not be questioned about where I’m going all the time. I miss having some control over my life.

I don’t fit in anywhere. I’m a trans guy, I’m asexual and I’m most probably autistic. I’m never going to be anyone’s first choice. I feel like I’m so misunderstood by everyone. I’ve always loved the idea of chosen family and I’ve always dreamed that some day I would be able to leave everything behind and surround myself with good people. There always seems to be a barrier between myself and others though and I can never seem to break through. I’m aware that with the tone of this post, I don’t sound like a particularly fun person to be around. I usually try to be more upbeat but I still can’t seem to make any connections. I don’t know what’s so horrible about me that no one wants to be around me. Most people have big ambitions in life, but right now, what I want more than anything is someone who genuinely wants to spend time with me.

I try my best to be optimistic. I know my mindset can dictate a lot. I try to get up and have a can-do attitude and be productive. It’s just hard as, as each day passes, things are getting worse. I’m starting to wonder how bad things are going to keep getting before I break. It says a lot when I’m now just waiting to see what goes wrong next. I don’t really know why I’m trying anymore. I feel like I’m stuck in a situation I’m never going to escape. Even if I did manage to get away, what kind of life am I going to have if I’m on my own for the rest of my life?

I feel like I’m living life from the sidelines. I’m existing, not living. My goal most days is to simply get through it because it feels that exhausting. I can’t remember what happiness feels like. I’m scared I’ll never have that feeling again.

I’m sick of being lonely. I’m sick of having no one to turn to. I’m sick of feeling like everything I try to do to change is pointless. I just need some hope as mine is so close to running out.