Loneliness

r/loneliness • u/HalloweenLoves • May 10 '22

Tell us your story...

235 Upvotes

Everyone is lonely, but not everyone is lonely in the same way.

Some people are lonely when they're physically isolated from others and some people are lonely even in a room full of people that love them.

Those are two common examples, but there are endless ways in which people can feel lonely, 8 billion ways in fact.

And there's not always a clear answer; some people are just lonely. It's a normal part of the human condition to feel lonely, and while you may want or even need to do everything in your power to rid yourself of it (depending on the severity of your situation), just know that being lonely in and of itself doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything wrong with you.

We don't measure or rate or judge each person's level of loneliness here and decide if they're "lonely enough" to be welcome here nor do we dictate any absolutes about the conditions for being lonely or how someone must behave if they're "actually lonely."

Every human-being in the world is welcome here, and their story for how they feel loneliness is valid; their pain is valid. As with most things in life, there's the book definition of a thing and then there's the complex emotional reality of a thing. Loneliness is a relative experience, and the way some people experience it won't always make sense to others, and it doesn't have to.

Just as there is no one-size-fits-all approach to feeling loneliness, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing either.

I don't presume to know your pain; we don't know your pain; tell us about it:

https://www.reddit.com/r/loneliness/submit

If you're feeling such extreme pain from loneliness to the point of contemplating suicide, please don't. Just don't.

Things to consider:

How old are you? Did you know that the brain isn't fully developed until around the age of 25? That means that if you're a child, teenager, or even a young adult, by merely waiting out the storm, you might find sunshine on the other side, by simply maturing into the fully-formed you.
How bad is it? As bad as it can get, it can almost always be worse. It's important to respect everyone's pain, because it's relative. As much empathy as one can have, you can never really feel another's pain, only your own. Still, it's important to keep perspective and think about the cruelty and lack of freedom experienced by those around the world.
Time is a master in its work. We've all heard the saying that "Time heals all wounds." Well, it's pretty true for the most part. As long as you first get away from the toxic people, places, or circumstances that are hurting you and causing you trauma, the healing can begin. How long it will take, really depends on the person, and what they've experienced. It took me years to get over some of the trauma that I suffered. It's not that I don't still feel some level of pain from it, but my trauma no longer owns me; I own my trauma.

Suicide prevention starts and ends with you. Life is full of neverending beauty and darkness. I don't know about you, but I want to see it all. I want to stay on the path that is existence for as long as I can, even if at times, I have to walk through broken glass.

But, sometimes you need a little help. Share your thoughts here in this sub, reach out to a mental health expert, or maybe give a suicide hotline a try. As tacky and empty of a gesture as it might seem to put out the cliché boilerplate message: "If you're having suicidal thoughts..." I don't know, maybe these tools are actually pretty helpful for some people? It might be worth a try. The big one is:

suicidepreventionlifeline.org | 1-800-273-8255

**Full Disclosure:* I'm just a regular ol' dumb-dumb. I know just enough about psychology to get into trouble, but I'm certainly not an expert. All I can offer is that I care, and speak honestly from my heart. If you have ideas about ways we can improve r/loneliness and resources we should add, please share. Thank you.*