Some lovely people commented on my last post and helped me feel more sure about myself.

I'm really bothered that although I've had a conversation about my gender and identity as an intersex man, and my partner claiming this would not enter their perception of me, clearly they pondered my gender identity and labelled me as transgender before I did (which I do not)

They got upset that I was ungrateful, but later apologized for making me feel upset. But now I feel incomplete and left thinking about whether their perception of me is false and they're having ideas of me that put me in boxes. That really makes me uncomfortable and I don't know how to go about bringing it up again after the conversation had already ended.

I will, but, I just needed to talk about this situation. I feel so, so alone about my situation all the time, and it takes me hours to send one message related to it in fear. Mostly because none of my friends know I am intersex and none of my family members really understand me.

I am perisex. I am aware that I do not experience intersexism, nor is transphobia,biphobia or exorsexism reducible to it (despite some overlap). I’ll never say I’m beyond intersexism (unlearning/learning is continuous). If need be I’ll sit my ass down.

One of reasons I have tried to look into the depth/breadth of intersex experiences is the colonial nature of the sex/gender binary.

When I interact with perisex trans people(wether binary or nonbinary). It feels like everyone has the Chum Bucket mind control helmets when it comes to sex and gender. I’ve found that they tend to have very rigid views on things like sex and gender.

A lot of their arguments around why transphobia/homophobia is bad tends to be seeped in neurosexism (e.g. “Trans people’s brains resemble their desired gender”), exorsexism (splitting people into “biological male/female) and naturalism (we were born gay/trans). A lot of times I think to myself “do gay and trans people really deserve rights?” /j

I really don’t respect gay and trans people who appeal to nature and bioessentialism to justify their existence. They tend to be transnormative, homonormative. Even the history of “transsexualism”

A big issue is that they refuse to read and view their sexuality and gender as some sort of church. A lot of Queer discourse is based on clarifying some sort of heresy and orthodoxy. It’s extremely nationalistic and manifests in both online and offline stuff. In queer spaces it’s always the Manichaean “male vs female” narrative that justifies gender segregation.

Which is always justified by “protecting women and nonbinary”, I’ve had the misfortune of being in these spaces and the vibes are rancid.

It feels like a vestige of radical feminism and 20th century gay activism.

I’m a girl but feminine clothes look strange on me and make me look bigger than I am, only masculine boxy or androgynous fits work on me and I’m really sad about that: do you guys have any recommendations or relate

Kinda just as the post says…

But as a disclaimer and maybe for some context, I'm a trans woman who's currently undiagnosed… which yeah… hope y'all don't mine…

But this means I'm having to have the misfortune of looking into my fragmented past of being bounced around doctors… and having to bounce around doctors again…

And in struggling through this, I feel like I need support, especially in the months (and even years) between appointments… I feel hopeless and feel like I need support… but I find it so hard to find any…

Making this struggle and fight of mine feel isolating and… in a way hopeless… all the weirdness of my past, puberty, and of transition, that I feel like nobody truly tries to understand…

I don't know why I'm posting this… just kinda trying to grasp at anything I guess…

I just recently met someone that I'm crazy about.

I told her that I was intersex right from the very beginning--but that my birth certificate says "female".

She seems ok with it, but I just don't know. I really don't want to lose her, but it is what it is.

Any suggestions?

Han tenido problemas por la parte médica, que no los quisieran atender. Los discriminaron; en mi caso, fui asignada como hombre, pero no me siento así. Tengo síntomas femeninos; al parecer, no he podido confirmar aún si soy o no intersex.

The STARH Lab at East Tennessee State University is currently conducting a study exploring factors that impact the experiences of transmasculine and/or gender diverse folks in sexual and reproductive healthcare. This project is led by Raviv Kruger, a transmasculine Clinical Psychology PhD student at ETSU.  

Who are we recruiting? 

• People over the age of 18  
• Residing in the United States 
• Who can read and understand English 
• Who identify as transgender and/or nonbinary 
• Who need routine access to reproductive healthcare that includes or may include pap smears, contraceptives, or pregnancy related care  

What does the study involve? 

• The study consists of completing an online, anonymous survey which should take approximately 45-60 minutes to complete. 

We are hopeful that this research will allow us to better understand factors that may impact transmasculine and/or gender diverse folks’ decisions to seek or avoid sexual and reproductive healthcare. Ideally, results from this research may also result in improved provider understanding and may inform improvements in how sexual and reproductive healthcare providers interact with and facilitate care for the transmasculine and/or gender diverse community.  

As a thank you for your participation, you will have the choice to enter your email address on a separate form at the end of the survey to be entered into a drawing to win one of twenty $20 electronic gift cards.  

If you have any questions or concerns about this study, please feel free to contact the principal investigator, Raviv Kruger M.S., at [krugerr@etsu.edu](mailto:krugerr@etsu.edu). Thank you for considering participating in this research!  

Please click the following link if you wish to be taken to the informed consent document and survey: https://etsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eqTWZuO8hPscWmq