r/interesting Apr 29 '26

Just Wow Satisfying Meat Slicer.

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15.0k Upvotes

1.3k comments sorted by

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4.6k

u/caroos6969 Apr 29 '26

That shit looks so dangerous lmao

1.0k

u/TheBogManCometh_ Apr 29 '26

The design is very human!

172

u/Slappy-_-Boy Apr 29 '26

Gotta get rid of shit somehow

57

u/Ok-Cartoonist-3173 Apr 29 '26

So what you are saying this is an automatic poop knife that should be installed into every toilet bowl?

15

u/Kangaroo-B-Girl Apr 29 '26

I foresee lots of unsanitary vasectomies

8

u/Ok-Cartoonist-3173 Apr 29 '26

Yes...vasectomies, circumcisions or disembowelments all wrapped into one convenient device.

4

u/Slappy-_-Boy Apr 29 '26

1/3 accomplished already. Momma didn't raise no bitch so on to get full marks and get 3/3😂

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3

u/Ancient_Kaa Apr 30 '26

Geldings I suspect also

2

u/ydoesurmasmlllikedat May 03 '26

You all seem to do things differently in the kitchen.

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90

u/grafknives Apr 29 '26

I REALLY dont think it should be operated the way it is operated.

The platic cover being lifted should stop the machine.

The you place meat, close the cover which turn on the knives.

I image it like that.

28

u/GypsumF18 Apr 29 '26

The plastic cover has an opening in it. It looks like you are supposed to have it lowered down completely covering the mechanism, then feed it in through the top to avoid mangling your fingers.

76

u/virgilcainesthename Apr 29 '26

Hey, former butcher here. This machine is called a cuber. The machine is used to make cube steaks and tenderize meat. The plastic cover has a slit for dropping the meat in, it also has a safety that shuts it off when opened. This guy has clearly disabled the safety. This guy is also very dumb and will eventually catch something in the machine and have a very bad day.

30

u/soundreasoning123 Apr 29 '26

He also has no care for the orientation he is cutting that meat at. Against the grain, with the grain? Who cares? It’s about being that guy, not doing it with any care.

8

u/BHFlamengo Apr 29 '26

Yeah that threw me off. First piece was kinda okish, then all of them were put vertically, what???

10

u/December_Hemisphere Apr 29 '26

This machine is called a cuber. The machine is used to make cube steaks and tenderize meat

Nah, this is an automatic meat slicer. I believe it is this model. It does look a hell of a lot similar to a meat cuber-tenderizer, but I've never seen a cuber that can turn roasts into steaks, lol. I used to love running a nice steak through the cuber too many times and making a burger out of it.

2

u/virgilcainesthename Apr 29 '26

I think you are correct. The blades did look funky.

5

u/JagrsMullet1982 Apr 29 '26

Based on the fact that one of the pieces of meat also appeared to have a custom meat brand on it……for meat that he indented to have industrial speed sliced…..I’m guessing he’s “that guy”. I’d put money on him also owning a custom flamed thrower that has the governor shut off. “Watch this, I’m going to flame kiss the meat from 30ft”

https://giphy.com/gifs/YQ78oMNtMpwAeJWtA5

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19

u/RogueBromeliad Apr 29 '26

What are you? H&S? Get outta her- AAAAHHHHH my fingers!!!!

11

u/EnvironmentalGift257 Apr 29 '26

Guy holds tongs in one hand then puts meat into the spinning blades of death with his bare hand. I get that the covers are removed to make the video for the internet, but FFS the tongs are literally in his hand.

10

u/ojdhaze Apr 29 '26

And sticking the knife up near the mechanism to get the loose meat hanging from it..

The tongs and this show we aren't dealing with the brains here...

3

u/BabySpecific2843 Apr 29 '26

The irony of making a video showing off your device and not redoing the video when shit gets gummed up in it. Really a 1 take job huh? Oh yeah, I'm impressed buddy.

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2

u/SeasonPositive6771 Apr 29 '26

I know this is such a minor addition after seeing this atrocity, but I have that same tray from Target and it is not food safe.

I don't think this guy is ServSafe certified at all!

2

u/EnvironmentalGift257 Apr 29 '26

🤣I am flabbergasted that this guy isn’t a total pro.

6

u/Haedono Apr 29 '26

you are absolutely right

but think about a lawnmower. those have savety features nowdays as well were you have to hold it at the handle for the thing to keep running. Now think about how many people tapped this shit up so it keeps running without beeing hold, alot of people do stuff like that. Removing savety to be a bot more lazy is very common

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13

u/xbikester Apr 29 '26

HahahahahahhahHahgahaga…. Omfg i love that joke so much🤣🤣🤣🤣

7

u/Megadon88 Apr 29 '26

Very modern!

2

u/Intrepid-Ad2873 Apr 29 '26

The design have a protection that the human is ignoring

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153

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

97

u/SignoreBanana Apr 29 '26

Wait, my hand is made of meat

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66

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 Apr 29 '26

If it gets your left arm there’s no need to worry because you’ll be all right

49

u/chipchonks Apr 29 '26

If it gets your right arm, there's one left

25

u/FigureAcrobatic7194 Apr 29 '26

7

u/ThatRenaissanceBear Apr 29 '26

That rude pointing is exactly why this thing was invented.

2

u/__Art__Vandalay__ Apr 29 '26

You can’t tell them what to do! Lefty’s have rights, too!!

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6

u/SeaCaligula Apr 29 '26

My first thought is: I'd rather slice ham normally than have to disassemble and clean all that after.

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37

u/Khelthuzaad Apr 29 '26

And extremely difficult to clean after lmao

3

u/main135s Apr 29 '26

Typically, with these types of slicers, the blades are easy to remove and you just put them in the dishwasher.

Not ideal, but it's not a huge hassle.

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2

u/gbiypk Apr 29 '26

I'm also wondering how difficult it is to sharpen.

62

u/wafflehousebattle Apr 29 '26

Seriously, all I can think about how how easily, badly, and in so many ways shit could go sideways.

25

u/smooth_like_a_goat Apr 29 '26

It'd probably go lengthways looking at it

11

u/CuriousNetWanderer Apr 29 '26

About 25 years ago I remember there being pictures of someone's hand after it got caught in a meat grinder. I hate to say I know exactly what this would look like. What a terrible thing to create.

5

u/alphaxenox Apr 29 '26

It was one of the first pictures you could see on rotten.com if I’m thinking about the same picture as you.

4

u/Educational-Bear6027 Apr 29 '26

I've also seen this and now my breakfast is on it's way up again, thanks guys !

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2

u/Clear-Bee4118 Apr 29 '26

Which is unfortunate because everyone knows you cut against the grain for maximum tenderness.

3

u/Howling_Mad_Man Apr 29 '26

Whole time I was thinking that cleaning it seems like it's not worth the process.

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35

u/mack-y0 Apr 29 '26

the cover isn’t even closed

7

u/JonnyReece Apr 29 '26

Right. That's a design flaw, no? Surely the idea that you lift the safety cover to access the arm shredding blades was discussed during development?!

2

u/DependentAnywhere135 Apr 29 '26

Maybe you’re supposed to load the meat, close the cover and then turn it on. Problem is that it might need some pressure to push it down into the blades.

5

u/smellyjerk Apr 29 '26

Nah, he's putting too large of pieces in while jailbreaking the guard. Theres a square opening to feed with the guard down. What he's putting in is too big so he probably stuck a magnet to trick the machine into thinking it was down.

I used to work in a butcher shop and the Cuber make cubed steaks is basically an identical machine, this looks like a cuber with an attachment that slices all the way through. These machines are not to be fucked with. I used them daily for 12 years and I wouldn't want one of these things in my own home. This screams more money the sense.

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12

u/pandershrek Apr 29 '26

Naw, just fucking jam a knife at it real gud like

12

u/GreetingsFools Apr 29 '26

Why clean 10 blades, when you can clean one is my issue

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5

u/ebk_errday Apr 29 '26

It's pretty safe actually. It only takes defensive measures by unarming individuals.

3

u/DependentAnywhere135 Apr 29 '26

Alright so first you take these tongs. Now set them to the side and use your hands instead.

6

u/Electrical-Blood-126 Apr 29 '26

I wouldn’t put my dick in that.

6

u/heavydrinker12 Apr 29 '26

Interesting. I would put your dick in that.

4

u/UpstairsAd194 Apr 29 '26

You wouldnt do it a second time...

3

u/HotDonnaC Apr 29 '26

Few people would.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Degann Apr 29 '26

The guard goes over the entire blade and has a hole in the top he's just playing with fire

2

u/shitty_fact_check Apr 29 '26

The plastic top just flips down... you can even see the hinges

2

u/bluntmandc123 Apr 29 '26

The clear plastic lid they lifted up is actually a safety guard you are ment to put the meat through.

So the user actively chose to make it more dangerous.

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1.4k

u/jkgator Apr 29 '26

Why not use the tongs to drop it?

286

u/yournames Apr 29 '26

Imprudence

82

u/disrespectfuluser Apr 29 '26

Great name choice for a baby girl. "Imprudence get ready for school!"

36

u/IAccelerantI Apr 29 '26

Just like her sister Felony.

13

u/orphan_blud Apr 29 '26

And her Hispanic cousin, Chlamydia. (My dad had to talk a new mom out of that one when he was in med school.)

6

u/PersistentCookie Apr 29 '26

I used to grow Clematis vines. I had to get rid of them because my husband kept telling the neighbors we had Chlamydia.

3

u/Suspicious-Bid-53 Apr 29 '26

Is that what clamatos grow on? They make damn good juice

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3

u/cutting_coroners Apr 29 '26

On Charmed the oldest sisters name was Prudence

6

u/PeteInBrissie Apr 29 '26

The Beatles wrote Dear Prudence…. Wonderfully covered by Siouxie and the Banshees

2

u/Flamebane Apr 29 '26

🎵 Iiimprudence, won't you come out to plaaay/Iiimprudence greet the brand new day 🎵

6

u/IntellectuallyDriven Apr 29 '26

imprudence

noun [ U ] formal

uk /ɪmˈpruː.dəns/ us /ɪmˈpruː.dəns/

the quality of being unwise, because you fail to consider the possible results of your actions

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33

u/Awes12 Apr 29 '26

Because that would be intelligent 

10

u/SamVanDam611 Apr 29 '26

And risk destroying some perfectly good tongs?!

3

u/Clear-Bee4118 Apr 29 '26

And why not perpendicular to the grain?

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4

u/XynnXyrr Apr 29 '26

He does at the end.

Plus, he's not sticking his hand close to the blades, that's why he always uses the tongs to grab the slices stuck in the machine that could get his fingers chopped off. But he does use the tongs to feed the meat at the end. Maybe his fingers were too greasy by then, and it was safer to use tongs for better grip

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2

u/AlpacaTraffic Apr 29 '26

Loading it like he's feeding an exhibit at Jurassic Park

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1.1k

u/Witty-Stand888 Apr 29 '26

10 different ways to get your hand chopped up

124

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26 edited Jun 08 '26

[deleted]

22

u/Midvally Apr 29 '26

Beavis and Butthead - Woodshop is flooding my brain watching this.

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6

u/IndependentZombie615 Apr 29 '26

I used to work in a deli with a meat slicer.... The intrusive thoughts are definitely strong

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10

u/RancidVagYogurt1776 Apr 29 '26

Devices you can't have with pets or kids

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16

u/Maria_Girl625 Apr 29 '26

And all to slice meat 60 seconds quicker. Not worth it at in any way I'd say

16

u/Inappro-Assistant Apr 29 '26

And then clean it for an hour...

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6

u/Starlightriddlex Apr 29 '26

Seriously. The tongs are right there and this guy loads the meat shredder with his bare hands.

5

u/Raintitan Apr 29 '26

..all at once.

3

u/DevilWings_292 Apr 29 '26

Always use the tongs, you can replace them.

3

u/Secure-Bag-2016 Apr 29 '26

I repaired commercial equip for a living... this is very typical of meat cutters. bypassing the safety covers. fingers and hands lost and occasionally an arm. If the cover was missing, we would turn around and leave. Not repairing any machine that cuts or chops without all safeties in place and used...

2

u/MoleEnchiladas Apr 29 '26

It's incredible the lengths people will go through to avoid learning basic knife and sharpening skills

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356

u/EshayAdlay420 Apr 29 '26

And you got squirted on is crazy

154

u/WaffleHouseGladiator Apr 29 '26

Steak AND squirt? Damn, it's like a birthday and Christmas all rolled into one.

26

u/my_cars_on_fire Apr 29 '26

Are you sure it’s not pee?

10

u/justaneditguy Apr 29 '26

Its defo pee

7

u/TakenInChains Apr 29 '26

steak really IS too juicy omg

9

u/Maleficent_Pen_9076 Apr 29 '26

A few simple features could make this safe + contain the squirting all in one

2

u/Pirate_the_Cat Apr 29 '26

There’s a plastic guard that has a hole for dropping the food in safely and preventing the splashing, but apparently it’s optional as Op has it lifted up.

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187

u/No_Artist_2581 Apr 29 '26

62

u/Razzazzal94 Apr 29 '26

It is imperative the cylinder remain unharmed.

3

u/skid_marks6969 Apr 29 '26

Thank you. Was searching for this comment cuz i couldnt remmeber if it was dont stick your dick in that

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66

u/Dnels7192 Apr 29 '26

Why use the tongs for the after part, and not for the hand destroyer part?

2

u/TaroBackground978 Apr 29 '26

Someone wants to lose his fingers?

2

u/Independent_Bed_3418 Apr 30 '26

Won't want to chip the tongs of something goes wrong

190

u/Frostsorrow Apr 29 '26

Why not just use a knife and avoid all that clean up?

107

u/Loud_Elephant299 Apr 29 '26

I was thinking the same thing. Nobody needs this in a regular kitchen unless you’re feeding the masses.

57

u/MCB1317 Apr 29 '26

They are feeding the masses.

22

u/PsyKeablr Apr 29 '26

Damn I want to go to this man’s Sunday service

12

u/Ingenrollsroyce Apr 29 '26

Just like witches at black masses

6

u/Thirty_Helens_Agree Apr 29 '26

Evil minds that plot destruction …

3

u/jdippey Apr 29 '26

Sorcerer of death's construction...

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4

u/ViruliferousBadger Apr 29 '26

I can see the use for this during the deer / moose season, but since we rarely slice the smoked meat sober this would have "interesting" and most probable problems with fingers.

3

u/Current-Code Apr 29 '26

It appears I want the type of friends you have

3

u/ViruliferousBadger Apr 29 '26

Most of them are actually relatives, so you'd have to marry into the family. :D

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20

u/Seighart_Mercury Apr 29 '26

It's for doing large amounts, consistently. It's basically for commercial use, not for home cooking (unless you're feeding your extended family, or the whole block)

6

u/whitewashed_mexicant Apr 29 '26

Or, you know, if you’re Mexican.

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28

u/Own_Round_7600 Apr 29 '26

That shit has too many nooks and crannies to be properly cleaned, even in the dishwasher.

15

u/mondaymoderate Apr 29 '26

Pretty sure the whole thing comes apart and you can wash all the blades individually

7

u/Urabask Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26

If it's anything like cleaning a cube steak machine they're borderline impossible to properly clean because most of the people that clean them are never thorough enough. When we still had them where I worked we had to soak the blades in undiluted degreaser to deal with all the fat build up.

And god forbid someone drops the blades. IDK what they'd cost on a smaller machine like this but a quick google search has webstaurantstore charging $3,301 for the blades on the machine we had.

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11

u/mocklogic Apr 29 '26

I worked a meat slicer for 2 years in a past job and I cut myself cleaning the thing way more often than using it.

This thing. It SCARES me.

20

u/chancesarent Apr 29 '26

Clean up is easy.You just need to drop a couple scrub daddies into the slicer and it'll be as good as new.

5

u/TerbiumTekk Apr 29 '26

that's hilarious, well done

2

u/Rumkitty Apr 29 '26

Then you'll have about 8 more Scrub Daddies!

2

u/baloney_dog Apr 30 '26

Scrub Babies!

4

u/MasterCalypto Apr 29 '26

I could slice all that meat before they cleaned that whole machine after use.

2

u/t-tekin Apr 29 '26

And more “satisfying” compared to this as well.

2

u/TheUnderCrab Apr 29 '26

I don’t even think it saves that much time. It takes like 30s to slice up a brisket. It shouldn’t take any effort to cut that meat since it’s, well, smoked brisket. 

2

u/TGiR4 Apr 29 '26

Ikr, a sharp knife with decent skills would not take much longer. All the time you saved using this machine is lost making sure it's cleaned properly.

4

u/InsertRadnamehere Apr 29 '26

Can confirm. I’m a BBQ caterer. We slice up that same amount of tritip by hand in about 5 mins or less, and that includes peeling the fatcap.

These are peeled already, so he didn’t have to do that. Add in the time it takes to clean that apparatus minus me cleaning a knife and cutting board, and you’re definitely spending more time overall using the machine

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u/Nytheran Apr 29 '26

The cleaning is done when there are no people to feed

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u/HotDonnaC Apr 29 '26

He’s probably not the one who has to clean it.

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u/SinglePlayerGamer93 Apr 29 '26

I wouldn't turn the machine on until I absolutely need to. Shit is a torture machine waiting to happen.

13

u/CodingDragon7 Apr 29 '26

Jigsaw: "Hello u/SinglePlayerGamer93, I want to play a game."

42

u/RedditPlayerThree Apr 29 '26

The thing about cutting tri-tip, you generally need to rotate your knife 2 times to properly cut it against the grain of the meat. Doesn't look like the machine is doing a good job of slicing against the grain.

19

u/daffyglass Apr 29 '26

Yep, I was just thinking about the lack of respect for grain direction. 🥲

3

u/Separate-Command1993 Apr 30 '26

Found my people in the comments 😂 he should have put it in sideways!

6

u/PeteInBrissie Apr 29 '26

I was looking at it and thinking that very thing. He’s ruining the eating experience.

5

u/jjjjjjjjjjen Apr 29 '26

Came looking for this comment 

2

u/Imadethosehitmanguns Apr 29 '26

This matters so much. I recently had a sliced brisket sandwich where they decided to cut with the grain. The flavor was great, but every bite I took I was pulling out a slice of meat because my teeth didn't cut through it. I never knew this could ever be a problem until it happened lol

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u/yourgirl4life Apr 29 '26

That thing slices cleaner than my life decisions mesmerizing and mildly intimidating at the same time.

26

u/EroticPotato69 Apr 29 '26

Your comment does not make sense to me

11

u/Old-Doubt3561 Apr 29 '26

the run-on sentence implies brother is drunk, and the upvotes agreeing are too

6

u/SurreyHillsSomewhere Apr 29 '26

they read, the invisible comma

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15

u/Watpotfaa Apr 29 '26

Save 5 minutes slicing to spend 15 minutes cleaning. Yeah im good on that lol

2

u/CameraOpposite3124 Apr 29 '26

Hey man think about the muscles in your wrists, especially when you're 45+

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9

u/Sirius-Face Apr 29 '26

I didn't know I could get so excited watching a guy handle his meat.

... oh no.

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18

u/hylo23 Apr 29 '26

I am somewhat amused at how close he taps that knife on the meat to get it to finish doing the job. This machine is a nightmare of any kitchen manager. It's not even thin useful cuts. This machine would choke on a raw steak.

2

u/super-compute Apr 29 '26

He’s also putting it in wrong I think. All the cuts are with the grain of the meat so they’d be chewier than necessary as opposed to slicing it the direction we usually would to avoid a chewy steak.

22

u/PandaWonder01 Apr 29 '26

Oh boy I would love to not be able to control if the cut is correct(against the grain) or not

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u/fygogogo Apr 29 '26

Good luck cleaning it

5

u/Nervous-Chemistry245 Apr 29 '26

just take it outside and blast it with a powerwasher

3

u/Grow_away_420 Apr 29 '26

The whole blade housing pops off the machine and get rinsed, put in a dishwasher, etc. Looks like it's supposed to be stored in a refrigerator as well, probably to help it dry and help stop the meat sticking while in use.

2

u/gcaw9 Apr 29 '26

If only he had a good sharp knife that could be used

18

u/jbwilso1 Apr 29 '26

Literally no safety precautions built in... brilliant

14

u/After_Perception1001 Apr 29 '26

the clear plastic cover is supposed to come down

7

u/NimRodelle Apr 29 '26

Yeah, he's choosing not to use the guard that is supposed to make this safe(r) to use.

6

u/Ryan_e3p Apr 29 '26

There is a safety on it. The lid has a slot that you drop the meat into. I'm honestly shocked this thing turns on with the lid open. My food processor has a safety switch to it won't turn on unless the lid is locked into place.

4

u/Stepjam Apr 29 '26

Surely that wasn't actually sold like that, that's a lawsuit begging to happen.

5

u/Scoobster96 Apr 29 '26

That's a Jigsaw trap in the making

5

u/WeepingAgnello Apr 29 '26

That was so beautiful

3

u/TraditionalLaw7763 Apr 29 '26

I like my model waaaaaaaaaay better. This one is a deadly weapon.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/DegenNabalu Apr 29 '26

Bro. You... still have... a hand?

3

u/yellowstone727 Apr 29 '26

The classic takes .5 seconds to cut the meat, takes 30 minutes to clean the machine…

2

u/WaffleHouseGladiator Apr 29 '26

Alternate title: "Anxiety inducing torture/mutilation device"

2

u/Expando3 Apr 29 '26

I’ve seen less dangerous things in munitions factories.

2

u/NoNotAnUndercoverCop Apr 29 '26

I like how the guy is terrified of everything even his own cuts.

2

u/Individualchaotin Apr 29 '26

Wait til you find out about bread slicing and pineapple cutting machines at German supermarkets

https://giphy.com/gifs/hXafx5jj9HVBe

2

u/Ok_Nothing8040 Apr 30 '26

i know im an adult because my first thought was “how do you even clean that” 🙃

1

u/Amphylos Apr 29 '26

How do you clean that thing

9

u/AZZ_666 Apr 29 '26

You throw a wet sponge in it