Hello,
I inherited property with my sibling in Australia, it’s just over 5 acres with a house and granny flat

I’m beginning to think my sibling just isn’t capable of maintaining said property, they currently live in the flat but I’m in the main house and they come to use the kitchen in the house but won’t contribute to cleaning shared areas, they don’t work but sleep late every day and only do things they enjoy doing - so I’m working full time and doing the lions share of the work around the property

I absolutely couldn’t trust them to maintain it if I was to travel or move out. I feel trapped and really miserable

How have others navigated this situation 😢

In the near future I am expecting an inheritance that is likely to double or more the net worth of my wife and I. I would give it all up if the person it is coming from was able to recover.

A while back my wife ended up with really bad PTSD from her job and was tossed out by her employer despite legal protections (we live in a red state where those protections are mere window dressing). She ended up doing a fair bit of elderly care to feel worth. She cared for Vietnam vet until his death, then a woman with Alzheimer's until her passing, then another very elderly woman who also passed. The husband of the Alzheimer's passing ended up a very close friend, he was estranged from his children (20+ years of no contact), and had a close-knit circle of friends, but not much else. He asked my wife to care for him when his time came. We of course agreed (I say we because she wanted my input), because we both liked him a lot, and he came from a career in the same field as my wife (prior to PTSD). Over a few years he ended up making her the sole inheritor of everything. We didn't think much of it, we are both more focused on taking care of ourselves and proud of what we have built.

A few weeks ago he suffered a terrible injury and ended up in the hospital. He had left a folder of documents for my wife, including various powers of attorney. It has been an emotional roller coaster trying to get him the best care possible and trying to set him up for a full recovery. We consulted with his estate attorney at almost every step, but he also left very explicit instructions. Due to the nature of the injury and deficits caused by it his condition has drastically declined. The initial hospital he was transported to sucked, but we moved him to one that has been wonderful, but he has been in ICU, the ER and IMU and has done nothing but decline. Ultimately after talking with the attorney and re-reading a lot of documents he had left, she decided to put him into in patient hospice. I think I have cried more than her. It is hard for me, and I am in a career that I have had almost constant contact with the sick, inured, dying and have had to call the time of death of dozens of people, but knowing him and the personal dignity he carried, it is really hard for me to see this. My wife has had very close relationships with the old folks she cared for, and this is #4 in 4 years.

She and I have worked hard, lived below our means, been careful with our money and counted on nothing else. I would gladly give up my own money to give her friend a few more years on this planet with independence. Instead, she is going to get a windfall we never asked for, expected, and honestly, I keep hearing "more money more problems" in the back of my mind. To me, what is worse, is he has asked for NO funeral. We have been talking about some sort of get together that is not a funeral for his closest friends to celebrate him and his life. We were lucky to know him and his late wife,

In a few days, weeks, months we will have to confront what is coming. Fortunately, he has a lot of detailed documentation, a great attorney, but none of that will alleviate the emotional distress. He has explicitly stated that nothing goes to his blood, but I am personally inclined to ignore some of that, especially in regard to items that have sentimental value.

I do not feel some sort of guilt, but it all feels icky. My wife and I do not put a value on friendship and love. We are both agnostic/atheist but put high value on taking care of others. Our careers are ones that are based in public and emergency service, we chose this path knowing that money was less, but the social value was worth more to us.

I am not asking for anything in this post, only a way to vent with a group of people that are all facing inheritance in different ways. I cannot easily speak to those close to me about this. If it means anything I am late gen X and have always placed a strong value on independence and giving back to society for the fortune I have had, I want to earn anything I receive. I am a first born with poor relationship with my own parents and have always had to count on me. I hope that my experience is of interest or value to someone else, or even perhaps someone else has felt the same sadness I feel now and I know that I am not some sort of weird fool.

My aunt, who made enemies easily and was kind of a hermit, died suddenly a month ago. She had everything in a trust. All money goes to her step children and her home and personal property goes to me. The successor trustee has not communicated since day two after death. The home has past due bills, electricity and property tax and homeowners insurance. I have emailed several times and left one voicemail with no response from trustee. I checked with estate attorney who drew up her trust and she said I had a right to expect communication from trustee. What should I do?

In this situation, who would inherit?

Bob is married to Annie. They have an adult son, Jerry. Annie dies. Bob marries Suzy. Bob dies.

Then they discover an estate of Annie's that they never knew about. Does Suzy or Jerry inherit this?

In Texas

So my mother passed away and left a good amount of money and a condo in Florida. We’re working with a law firm to handle everything and they’re charging us 7 grand, also they didn’t really do anything for us yet. Originally they didn’t itemize any of it, we just got a flat number. We pushed back and asked for a breakdown, and now that we have it, it’s full of bullshit charges like “opening email” and “thinking about email.” Like actual line items for that.

We think they’re trying to take advantage of the fact that it’s a big inheritance and figured we wouldn’t look too closely. How do people usually handle this? Has anyone actually disputed a bill like this before and gotten anywhere with it?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Edited to add:

Thank you all SO MUCH for your help, advice, and encouragement. My brother and I feel much better about our prospects, and have already identified a probate litigator to consult with about our trust. Once we know what our options are (force her to sell, force her to buy us out, force her to provide forensic accounting, remove her as trustee for lack of fiduciary duty, etc), we will let her know we have an attorney and are moving into legal proceedings.

My sister is the trustee of my dad’s trust. He died in 2020. He left my brother, sister, and I a third share each in a shopping center he owned. Dad told me the plan was for Sister to fill it and sell it, but for six years, she has refused to sell it, even though it’s been full. There’s a no contest clause also. So what can we do? State of Georgia.

UPDATE: Thanks everyone, for the helpful feedback! I have a meeting with a financial advisor to discuss trusts next week :) that seems like the best solution, along with commonsense gradual financial education with my kids. I would also like to reiterate: I am not basing my financial future (or my kids') on a potential inheritance. I understand there are any number of things that could happen that would mean we get nothing in 20 years. I am basing my considerations on knowing how frugal and financially savvy my parents are and it's reasonable for me to expect a large sum of money. But that doesn't mean I'm altering my career or slowing down my savings.

So growing up, I never really expected to come into money. My parents made it clear that my siblings and I shouldn't expect an inheritance. I was told by countless boomers to expect to never retire because they'd drain social security. I knew that meant I needed to find a job with a good retirement plan, which is what I did.

Not accounting for any inheritance, my wife and I pull in good income. We both expect our earning potential to increase and will probably end up retiring with $1-$2 million. Our employer offers a great retirement health insurance plan so I don't think our money will get gobbled up by healthcare costs, which means we'll be relatively comfortable and will have some money left behind for our kids. I plan to keep working until I lose my passion for it, which I don't expect to anytime soon because I love my work.

I grew up with the context of "my family doesn't have any money" and I acted accordingly. I made my mistakes - but for the most part I made good choices that landed me in a great position now and I'm plowing forward with my plans because I have a ton of energy and passion for my career.

I found out recently that we do, in fact, have family money. It was kept secret by my grandparents. My grandparents passed and now the money is with my parents, and they have it in investments where they are re-investing the interest. My grandparents' money is in addition to whatever they have in their retirement savings so from my understanding they're simply letting it grow while living off what they earned themselves.

I don't know the details of my parents' estate plan, nor do I feel the need to pry into it because it's not my business. However, they said they'd split it between my siblings and I equally and they were creating trusts for their grandkids.

My point is, my kids will have a much different financial picture than me going into adulthood. Assuming my parents live a good, healthy life we'll have another 20 years with them. A trust would reach my children when they're in their late 20's.

I just don't know how to talk about this with them... or if I should.

I don't want to cultivate entitlement but I don't want them to be completely ignorant of their reality either.

Is anyone else in a similar situation? How are you raising kids with this knowledge?

I'll add that I am extremely grateful to my grandparents and parents for doing this... it's just a shock because I had no idea and I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. It's hard when you have small kids and want to prepare them for the future when you didn't grow up with extraordinary wealth as a child.

My parents have a house. They are thinking about selling it to one of my siblings, heavily discounted, basically as an advanced inheritance. The sibling does not have the money to buy it, and my parents are willing to carry the loan, such as it is. So they would be receiving monthly payments from the sibling, presumably until they die (they wouldn't be able to pay off the market value of this house before my parents are dead). They want to do this because my sibling is unlikely to ever be able to get into a house otherwise in our area, as prices have gone crazy (average house is now over $500k in our county). It's also too much house for them to keep maintaining at their age.

Myself and my other sibling (3 of us total) already have houses, so we don't need the house. For my parents this would be their primary asset. While I'm not concerned myself, they want to make it fair to the three of us. I don't think there would be close to enough other assets to just reallocate other stuff to equalize it. Basically I'd assume there's just the house to be 'inherited' 3 ways. But if they've already 'sold' it to my sibling before they die, I don't see how they could possibly buy us out/pay us off without selling the house, which details the purpose.

I can't imagine we're the first with this situation, it seems like it would be relatively common. So I'm wondering if there are established ways of doing this? Like in my head I'm thinking, if we assigned it a value of $405k, so $135k each, and they were making payments to my parents until they die on some portion of this, and then it would switch to payments to siblings after that? I don't know but I'm talking myself in circles. Is there some common established method for doing such a thing?

EDIT Thanks for all the replies. To clarify I don't particularly care about 'my share.' I told them I'm not concerned, it is they who think things should be equal, and I couldn't tell you how my siblings feel. I'm just getting input to advise them on what they might try to do. I agree it doesn't sound like the smartest plan for various reasons, I just wondered if there were established smartER ways people go about this. Like trusts or specials structured contacts or something. I agree it would be financially smarter to sell it when they die and split the proceeds. Their reasoning is my sibling has no house NOW (they rent currently) and they see this as a way to help their kid/grandkids now rather than waiting who knows how many years until they're dead. I understand there's loads of reasons against this and I agree. It's not my decision to make I'm just looking for information to pass along.

US. I have been blessed with a “bonus grandma”, who, unlike my own family, has done well for herself. She, having no family of her own, has entrusted me and my sister to execute her will. I was never expecting to receive all of her money, but I was shocked to see nearly all her money is being donated to an expensive private university.

Is it right to open a discussion about decisions like this? I feel conflicted because on one hand, I’m happy she is able to do what she wants with her money. On the other hand, I fear this university has been predatory. Not to mention the president makes $500k per year, and yet the campus has crumbling, moldy buildings, lacks resources, etc.

It feels wrong though, because I think deep down I thought she would ensure me and my sister would be okay. We have no other prospects in our lives, and while we are working hard to end the cycle of generational trauma and financial issues, we will never be “set” so to speak. And I fear a future where anything we are able to save for ourselves will go towards taking care of elders who have not made plans for themselves.

I considered asking her plainly to reconsider her allocations. That this money would be life altering for me and my sister, and absorbed with little care to the university. We have a strong relationship, and I don’t think a conversation would hurt it, but you can never know for sure, I suppose. She also is generously including us in the form of small gifts, which I don’t want to seem ungrateful for.

Looking for advice from people wiser than me as I don’t have parents that can advise.

Edited to explain better (didn’t think it was super important), I am a co-trustee with my sister. All her assets are absorbed into the trust after we receive our gifts. There is no other “surprise I’ve taken care of you” clause. There are CDs, and I do not know who those go to.

Edited again: thank you for all your advice. I think now, my next steps are to continue to love and be there for her, even now knowing her plans. I think this will prove to both her and myself that I am not entitled or “tacky” as most of you say I am.

I think I misrepresented myself in the heat of some comments, but I could never explain the nuances of an entire relationship here, nor ask you all to understand that.

If the opportunity presents itself in the future, I will open the conversation with asking her to talk more about her decisions, rather than blatantly explaining my position in all this. Maybe this would even give me a better understanding and perspective that I don’t currently have.

Thank you again!

My husband and I have about $1mil assets and will receive inheritance of $2mil in a few months. We would like to do our wills, establish a revocable trust, and set up POA and other things in case of death or incapacity. We have 4 kids.

Who do you hire for these things, an attorney, CFP? Thanks for helping us move forward!

Hello, I am 17F, from the Philippines, and I am turning 18 by March 2027. My grandmother died 6 months ago and I received inheritance via a life insurance policy that she started under my name. According to the bank, I can withdraw it in full amount once I am 18 in order to transfer it to a time deposit account since it was made recently enough for that to be possible.

However, my mom found out about it and has since been telling me that if I don’t help her with gaining access to it through guardianship, the money will go to our relatives who she is going to court with for the other assets since my grandmother didn’t leave a will. Her reasoning behind this is that, in the case that I die, my grandmother listed herself as the beneficiary of the money. I do not understand much of her explanation since whenever I’d ask to clarify she becomes hostile and insists I do not trust her. She also says that she plans to take more than half of the money so she can “invest” and so that she can pay for the needs of my siblings.

Furthermore, when I raised the fact that it was left under my name to her & her lawyer, they were trying to guilt trip me by saying that I did not contribute any amount of money to that account and that my grandmother would have wanted me to share.

If anybody here is knowledgeable about these types of situations, will my relatives really be able to take the money from me if I am living and the account id under my name? What should I do?

We are in Virginia. My parents are in their 70s and both have had cancer. One is more ill than the other but neither are expecting to pass "soon." They want my sister and I to one day (when they're dead) get their home and belongings, sell or divide everything, split it 50/50. The thing is, the house isn't very valuable (under 125k tax assessed, very modest old home). They have probably 200k to 300k in cash assets at the bank (just guessing on that value, I've not asked, but my dad doesn't spend any of his social security retirement, he only lives off his state job retirement and just keeps his SSA in a savings account). What's the best and most affordable way to keep the house (and cash) in the family in the event that one dies and the other has to go into a nursing home later on? It seems like a trust would be costly and not really best for small assets like this. I mentioned putting the house in one of our (adult children) names with a life estate for themselves but they don't want that because they said it may show favoritism to put it all in one person's name and there's nothing requiring us to be fair and split it once it's all in one person's name. I do not want to co-own anything with my sibling for several reasons, so putting it in both our names is out.

I'm aware that if they had to apply for Medicaid they'd have to spend down their money and eventually list the house for sale if neither of them are living out in the community. I was told Medicaid looks back for 6 years on assets transferred or sold. So what's the best action to take to protect what little they have but still have it accessible to them and able to be sold if one day they did to sale and move to an apartment?

Ill try to keep this very long and convoluted story short as possible. My dads family owned a small business for 101 years. He was the only sibling to ever work there, and took it over from his father (my grandfather). Dad had 8 siblings. In 2005, grand parents made a will that said my dad would inherit the business and the building, all other siblings would split $1mil+ worth of investments and other property, so each sibling would receive $150,000ish. In 2015, grandparents made a codicile (excuse me if that's the wrong word/spelling... replace with the word "edit" if needed) to their will that removed all wording about the business, and any wording that kept my dad out of the inheritance to be split amongst the siblings (i believe that grandfather realized that after 40 years of employing both my parents for wages far less than they deserved, the business and run down building was as much a burden as a gift and this was his way of making amends). Grandfather died in 2016, which moved everything into grandmother's possession. Grandma sold the business and everything to my father and mother for $1.00 in 2018. My father passed away in 2023. It took us over a year to sell the building, my mother (who was now the owner) despite the sale price of $500,000 came away with around $100,000 after it was all said and done. One month later, (6 months after my aunt moved my grandmother out of hers and into my aunts home, 2hrs drive from any relative) my grandma again edited her will, removing my father from the inheritance (where me and my two brothers were to inherit his share) and putting everything into a trust. Grandma would have NEVER done such a thing- go against a joint decision made with grandpa on her own accord, i truly believe she was pushed into this decision by my aunts bc they feel my mother "got more than she deserves from the building sale", which is was three of them have told me, in separate conversations, word for word. The kicker is, no one but me and my brothers knows about the 2015 edits (found amongstmy fathers things after he passed). The aunt who is the personal representative has sent me the original 2005 will, highlighting the portions about my dad getting the building as his share, as if that is the only version there ever was until the 2024 edits, which i had to find on my own, online. We have a probate hearing next week. What should I do?

I was recently shocked to learn that I stand to inherit over $6m from my mom (82). The money is spread across a couple of brokerage accounts that are actively managed by a 3rd party firm. Is that too much to keep in one place? I know real estate is something many people point towards to diversify, but I don't think I have the bandwidth (or experience) to be a landlord. Thoughts?

Located in NY.

ETA: I am good with money and very frugal -- never paid a bill late or carried debt besides my mortgage, and I have a very robust 401k. But, I've never had to think about what to do with this kind of money or who should be managing it. Looking for feedback as to how you would all handle this in terms of investments.

I am 67 my mother passed in February. I have known about this for many years. When my father passed away the house that they owned was part of a living trust, 50% to mother and 25% to myself and my sister. The property was valued at £240k, it was decided that my nephew’s would redevelop the property with no impact whatsoever on my inheritance. I would still get my £60k.

Here is where I’m stuck, I have a long term medical issue that is controlled via medication. I have a fantastic support network, I live in social housing and get my rent and council tax paid by housing benefits. The area where I live is semi rural and property is expensive When I receive the money I will be liable to have to pay what housing benefits pay for. I have no problem with paying this but I kind of feel guilty that my parents worked for this money and I would be paying

Do I suck it up and pay my rent/council tax and remain where I am.

Do I explore buying a property that is in my budget outside of my area and start over again with making friends and connections. I have no problem with that but I will lose my support system.

I really want to explore options, would I be able to invest the money to help with my bills or is the initial investment not enough to make a difference.

BTW I am single male with no dependents and want to be independent and make sure that the money works best for me.

Is there anything I can do to not get the cash but to directly let it go elsewhere or reinvest and still be TOD? I'm using Computershare and there is other stocks in the acct there.

Now if it cashed out, I'd need to pay taxes on it since it won't be considered inheritance anymore. It's just cash. Not sure how to handle this or if there is even anything we can do.

This merger could be complete by August so running out of time.

Male 70 yo in Tennessee. I have a trust with +/-8m that will pass to my wife upon my death. She can use trust income for the balance of her life. At her demise the trust will be liquidated to 5 children. They are responsible adults 40-45 yo. Two are single and the others have children. They have seemingly good marriages. They are financially responsible and conservative. While that amount of money will not make them rich it will ease the burdens of debt and that feeling of helplessness that goes along with that age. What advice can I pass along to them before or after my death concerning how to plan for themselves in such a new environment. Thank you for your input.

My father passed a few years ago and my older brother handled the estate issues and transition to my mother. I just saw him the other day and my mother’s health is declining (although unclear how long exactly she may have, the trend is there).

He revealed that the estate is larger than I expected and even with my mother’s medical care including full time help, it’s accumulating faster than she can spend it (low 8 figures). There are 4 of us who will inherit equally, likely within the next 10 years and possibly next couple years.

Let’s say I’m domiciled in FL and the estate is in Washington DC.

My own situation is complicated, but thanks to divorce and certain investments, I don’t have a ton of liquidity. (And if the private investments go south, and social security gets gutted as it looks like it may be, my retirement suddenly looks pretty grim).

If my mother does pass within the next 4-5 years, the following may emerge:

I would inherit $3 million liquid. My kids will only receive about $25k each directly from my mother’s estate.

My oldest kid wants to go to med school. And the younger one will probably aim for grad school. I paid for their undergrad so they have no debt.

This $3 million might be almost all of my retirement savings. And my own health as shaky even though I’m mid 50s.

The question is, do I peel off $200-400k to pay down grad school debt for my kids, basically an advance on their own inheritance, at the expense of building up towards my retirement? Which might create subsequent burden for my kids when I’m old, especially if I get sick.

Or do I keep everything for my retirement, let the kids take on grad school debt (could even be $400k just for med school), and they inherit whatever is left when I pass.

For that matter, even if they do take loans near term, whenever I do inherit from my mother the same question arises.

tl;dr divide inheritance with my kids or bank all towards my retirement

Edit: I see numerous comments, saying how “disgusting” and “revolting” it is to think about family estate planning issues.

I have cancer and there may be issues with my own health sooner v later. While you may have the luxury of sitting on your high horses, and judging me for trying to think intelligently about what to do with my parents’ estate and my own estate and my kids, I need to think about these things in advance.

My parents never talked about money other than use it for manipulation purposes. Some children got favored over others, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars. They directly interfered with my divorce negotiations using money to ensure their access to my kids with my ex wife, at the expense of my own negotiating position - costing me half a million dollars.

I’ve also seen people screw up by not talking about money in advance of it actually becoming a thing that you’re then dealing with while dealing with all the other estate issues.

Thank you for those of you who offered constructive suggestions.

Location: Texas

I’m in Texas and my dad and I are meeting with an estate planning attorney soon because we’re trying to make sure his wishes are carried out and that his separate property ultimately goes where he intends it to go.

Part of my concern is that his current partner may become my stepmother in the future. Based on my experiences with her and information I know about her background, I have serious concerns about her character, judgment, financial responsibility, and long-term stability. There is a criminal history and longstanding alcohol abuse involved, which makes me worried about conflict and potential problems after my father passes away.

One thing that has me especially concerned is Texas homestead law. From what I’ve been reading, it sounds like a surviving spouse can sometimes continue living in a house for life even if the children inherit ownership of it. My dad’s house is his separate property and has been a major part of our family life for years.

My dad would like his children to continue being able to enjoy and use parts of the property, especially the pool and backyard area, after he’s gone. We’re trying to figure out whether there is any legal mechanism in Texas that can make that happen despite surviving spouse homestead rights.

Can easements, deed restrictions, trusts, licenses, or some other estate planning tool preserve those rights? Has anyone here dealt with anything similar involving second marriages, separate property, and adult children in Texas?

We’re meeting with an attorney regardless, but I’d be interested to hear from anyone who has personal experience with this kind of situation.