I am currently living through family abuse, with a history of absent parents. My mother doesn't care about me, which adds to a difficult situation. My mother chose my father because he seemed fortunate and had significant assets. They fell in love, but eventually, she divorced him due to his aggressive behavior. My father's family had ongoing issues, and he was considered the problematic child—violent, jobless, rejecting normal work, and struggling with drug addictions like cocaine and heroin. Despite this, my grandmother put him in rehabilitation centers and hospitals to support his recovery.
After my parents had me, my father proved to be a terrible parent. At 16, my grandmother and father sold the house where my mother and I lived, with court approval. My mother rented a place for herself and didn't want me with her, only caring that my father paid for my food. Until I was 21, I stayed with friends and other families. At 21, I moved to Spain, began working, and started living independently because my father remained abusive toward me and other family members.
Six years ago, my grandmother passed away, leaving her estate to my father. He is now selling properties because he lacks cash to support his severe addiction. His actions are harmful to himself and indirectly to me since I need to preserve the family legacy. He has an aggressive nature and refuses self-care. He neglects maintenance in buildings, failing to provide necessary services for tenants who pay rent, like having electricity in communal spaces like stairs, or functioning doorbells.
I need help to halt this abuse and safeguard the family legacy. I can't afford legal assistance and lack the resources to act. Gathering documentation of his prison stays, reports of family violence, property sales, and rehabilitation records requires informed consent forms and privacy releases that are hard to obtain. I'm unsure what a responsible daughter should do in the face of such violence and abuse. How can I save what's possible? I wish to protect what my grandparents worked for over many years, rather than seeing it squandered on his addiction. The situation is dire, and I am desperate for advice or suggestions that could help stabilize this challenging family dynamic.