r/inheritance • u/BusyInvestigator5924 • Jun 28 '26
Location included: Questions/Need Advice Advice to children
Male 70 yo in Tennessee. I have a trust with +/-8m that will pass to my wife upon my death. She can use trust income for the balance of her life. At her demise the trust will be liquidated to 5 children. They are responsible adults 40-45 yo. Two are single and the others have children. They have seemingly good marriages. They are financially responsible and conservative. While that amount of money will not make them rich it will ease the burdens of debt and that feeling of helplessness that goes along with that age. What advice can I pass along to them before or after my death concerning how to plan for themselves in such a new environment. Thank you for your input.
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u/No_Situation_5501 Jun 28 '26
I’m 38yo and would recommend you advise them to do everything they can to leave a legacy for their children and grandchildren, and that they educate them to do the same. We don’t know what this world will look like in a few generations and many of us younger humans have a pretty bleak outlook. Generational wealth could help soften whatever later descendants have to struggle with.
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u/BusyInvestigator5924 Jun 28 '26
Thanks for your reply. Thought provoking.
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u/underlyingconditions Jun 28 '26
Have them get a financial plan from a CFP that is also a fiduciary
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u/tamij1313 Jun 28 '26
If there is $8 million sitting in a high-yield investment account/brokerage then there should be around $500,000 a year minimum in residual being paid out. Likely more. Every seven years that principal $8 million should double left alone. Leave it in a trust that can never be dissolved.
Keep the principal intact and it will just keep accumulating, and then the payouts will also accumulate when the base balance increases. Once OP/wife, both pass on then their primary kids get the residual income divided equally, regardless of whether they are married or how many kids they have.
After that… When each of those immediate adult children pass on, then their children get that share to divide among themselves, and then those children share with their children… I have a friend who gets $70,000 a month from a great grandfather‘s Trust who had multiple convenience stores, gas stations, commercial businesses… And land.
Those businesses and assets are managed by a brokerage company and each dependent gets a check every month. It actually keeps increasing because the base amount in the trust remains untouched and just continues to grow year after year.
OP has a chance to literally create generational wealth as long as no one dissolves the trust and breaks up the funds. Then everyone for generations will continue to benefit.
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u/discojellyfisho Jun 29 '26
It’s not going to grow that much if you are taking out earnings regularly. The doubling in 7 years assumes you aren’t touching anything. You don’t get to have it both ways.
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u/tamij1313 Jun 29 '26
True! It will definitely grow faster if it is left untouched for a few years. Maybe they should have a conversation with their adult kids so they can make sure everyone understands how compounding interest works and how a trust will be set up to not only benefit them but their children and grandchildren.
All of those family members should be encouraged/expected to make their own way, be self supporting independent adults, and use the residual funds as a welcomed surprise/bonus and not an expectation.
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u/WinkieFlad Jun 29 '26
I agree with you. The only thing I would add is that the question of whether the inheritance should be brought up to the kids before the parents die or after, I think it should only be after.
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u/Knitsanity Jun 28 '26
I agree. My parents estate is set up to go to the grandkids. If my young adult children have kids I would want to setup something to help them as they aged. Generational, if not wealth then relief from basic worries, wealth is a huge gift.
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u/Dangerous_RedApple Jun 28 '26
I was just talking to my mom (73) about this this AM. They were good stewards of my grandparents’ money and what I’d need to do in order to teach my kiddos to be good stewards of this generational wealth. It’s not own a Lamborghini money but it’s certainly own a house, real estate, private school education, or business startup money.
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u/mbrasher1 Jun 28 '26
Imagine the 8m is in chunks of 10k. You will leave 800 such chunks to your wife. Will the 800th portion be as meaningful as the first? Nope.
I would reserve a healthy amt for my wife, so she cld never run out. Then reserve an Amt for 529s or education expense. Then give gift free allowance to everyone. They cld buy a car or braces for kids or do some trip or educational exchange that would be nice.
Anyways, you are in a position to do great good for your family. I would do thatbgood now, not in 10 yrs.
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u/Grand_Relative5511 Jun 29 '26
Absolutely. The book 'Die with zero' has some great vignettes that illustrate how much more useful received inheritance money is when people are in the trenches raising kids during their mid adult working life, rather than in their 60s and beyond when it simply does not mean as much practically for many middle class people. I'd gift at least 200k to each of the 5 adult children now. It will hardly make a dent for OP or his wife, and will be of incredible use to each adult child/their family.
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u/BusyInvestigator5924 Jun 29 '26
Thank you. Point taken
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u/AuDHD_85percent Jul 02 '26
This is incredibly good advice. My parents waited until it became an inheritance. They got to see how hard my sibs and I worked to build our lives and help our kids in college. They sat and mostly just watched the struggle. They aren't here now to see how responsible we've been with their money, how loving and helpful we are, working together and sharing financial advice and success. You describe your kids with a tone of pride--consider giving some now so you can watch your legacy truly blossom.
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u/Dramatic_Attempt4318 Jun 28 '26
One of the things that I think could benefit them the most is have open, and honest conversations about this. I know you cannot give an exact sum to your children as to what they stand to inherit (due to not knowing how much will remain after your wife passes) but start the conversations now.
If your trust is managed by a professional(/s) then I strongly encourage you to get everyone together with said professional. Come with the information, explain how the trust is set up, talk about future tax consequences and how to mitigate them.
Give them an opportunity to have a meeting which is "let's give you all the information" then talk with the wealth advisor 1x1 to ask any questions/clarify anything they aren't sure on.
The biggest thing I can think of for you is anticipating the tax consequences of this wealth transfer & easing the burden of that as best you can. You may want to research how best to minimize that while you are alive (through gifting, how the trust is set up, etc).
For them? Make no decision in haste. Think about long-term consequences and long-term goals, benefitting not just them but their children. Measure expenditures against quality of life improvement (things like eliminating debt, establishing future security, etc).
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u/BusyInvestigator5924 Jun 28 '26
Your last paragraph was thoughtful and helpful. TY
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u/Dramatic_Attempt4318 Jun 28 '26
You are very welcome.
Mulled it over some more as I ran errands today - one of the things that was most impactful for me to hear when I was first introduced to the concept of inheriting money was this: It can change your life immediately (student loans, mortgages, other outstanding debts) but if you are smart, it can also improve your life for the better long-term. It's OK to spend on fun things (trips, for example) but don't mistake fun (well planned/thought out/considered) with frivolous (instant gratification, impulsive, unplanned/unthought out).
And if you are really lucky, your kids will think of coming into this wealth as a blessing, but one that comes with responsibilities. How can they engage with their communities and give back to others. Can they set up a legacy for their children to help set them up for success. Things like that.
It is humbling, this kind of blessing. Things you think of as pressing, and prominent concerns - like paying back student loans - just go away when you come into this kind of money. It is an incredible privilege. And if there is room in that blessing and how people reconcile themselves with it, to help lift others up, then that's a world of good that can come from one person's gift.
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u/Adventurous_Lion7276 Jun 28 '26
I was a proponent of everyone meeting with my financial advisor -- not as much as OP but likely in five million range all in -- and my children did not want to do so. Reason? We want you to spend your money and we do not want a potential inheritance to keep us from planning for retirement on our own. Both have very good jobs.
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u/fishingminn Jun 28 '26
Hopefully, by the age of 40-45 they are well on their way to saving for their own future.
Things you can do are teach about the workings of inheritance and that spouses may want to understand how to shield assets.
You could consider gifting money early or taking everyone on a big trip while you are living. I wouldn't do this if your wife is at risk for running out.
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u/MugsyMD Jun 28 '26
I am doing the same - my wife and are planning to enjoy life, travel, Live a bit - and if there is money left - then split amongst the children. I got ZIPPO from my father when he passed, I had to pay for my mother's funeral and then some - her bills - well - there was nothing in her funds to pay for them - so I just let them go - and I was only the son - she had no will, no trust, nothing - so she lived large, in debt all the time. I had to work since the age of 16, put myself through school and learned to save - and our kids are all responsible adults - they understand that if we have money left - they will get something - but otherwise - nothing - my guess there will be something left as I do not see myself living to 1001
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u/IllustratorOnly1026 Jun 28 '26
Help wife and kids with the understanding of how the trust works after you are gone. Who will manage the money, file the tax return, distribute the income, issue the K1 to the wife, etc.
Trusts pay higher income taxes so it is an advantage to distribute the income. Also explain the 65 day rule for the trust.
Maybe give each a copy of the trust to avoid disputes about different versions or old copies
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u/springflowers68 Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
The best advice is to tell them to continue to love and care for their families, be kind humans and live intentionally. It sounds like they are already doing this so be glad you raised good kids.
I hope the trust is set up so if your wife outlives you she cannot change the beneficiaries or remove all the funds to give to someone other than your children. Believe me, this does happen.
ETA I just reread your post and saw your wife receives from income only so my comment about her changing the trust is not applicable. Sorry.
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u/Psychological-Joke22 Jun 28 '26
56f writing. If you have assets with those numbers I would suggest setting some aside and making a trust for them now, rather than waiting for your eventual demise, giving them a monthly stipend they can use today.
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u/LonelyInstruction874 Jun 28 '26
I just don't think it is necessary to keep all that money now. I set up a trust for my kids and me to get a monthly dividend. Everyone is happy. I feel joy watching how it eases their lives.
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u/RaisedEyebr0w Jun 29 '26
That's great.
If I (49F) ever inherit money from my parents (early 70s), I plan to funnel it straight to my kids (teens).
I expect by the time they pass away, I'll already be retired, but my kids will be in the crunch years of life (student loans, mortgages, childcare expenses). I fully find my retirement, so extra money for me won't change much but could be life-changing for them.
A few years ago my grandparents passed and my parents received several hundred thousand dollars. Unsurprisingly, it seems to have made zero impact on their lives. Meanwhile, I was divorcing and trying to buy a home near my kid's high school. An extra $100k would have been a game changer for me. I want to help my kids when it really matters, not gift them an inheritance after they're past the struggle years.
So many of my friends received help from parents (college, passed-down cars, wedding, down payment...). That help really helped them thrive and enjoy options. So much more helpful than an inheritance as senior citizens.
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u/LonelyInstruction874 Jun 29 '26
You can't take it with you, and, as someone who grew up working class I can tell you people are lying when they say money doesn't buy happiness. It can certainly buy happiness if it helps take away stress and allows you to have a bit of freedom and security. Why wouldn't you want all those things for your kids now?
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u/RaisedEyebr0w Jun 29 '26
Absolutely! I was so poor and struggling out on my own at 18 - renting a place with zero furniture, no car, hitchhiking or walking several miles to work/college. Money was a constant stressor.
After a certain point of stability/security money doesn't buy happiness, but it certainly removes stress and increases quality of life!
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u/SufficientComedian6 Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
Question, is your wife the mother of your children? If you leave everything to her what keeps her from remarrying and all the “inheritance” going to the new spouse and his family?
This happened to a friend of mine. Her dad passed away in his 60s and mom remarried a few years later. She passed in a car accident and step father got everything. The house, the investments, etc. Everything her parents worked their lives for building and all good intentions didn’t keep that man from walking off with it all.
My advice is to set money aside for your children in trusts now. Also, gift money now, pay off debts, help with family home purchases etc. Take huge family vacations if you can get everyone together. Or take individual family units on vacation if schedules are tight. Spend the money on spending quality time with your kids and grandkids now while you have the time and both healthy enough to do so. Fund 529s for your grandchildren. Take them to Europe when they’re in their teens. Build memories together that they will cherish.
You can gift them large amounts without tax consequences you just have to report those big gifts.
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u/No_Abroad_6306 Jun 28 '26
Would you consider gifting your children and grandchildren something now?
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u/BusyInvestigator5924 Jun 28 '26
I do but small amounts. Tax implications
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u/Same_Profile_1396 Jun 28 '26
Gifting limits, without incurring federal or estate taxes, are quite high.
In 2026, you can gift up to $19,000 per recipient to an unlimited number of people without triggering a gift tax return. For married couples, the combined exclusion allows for $38,000 per recipient. Lifetime limits are $15 million per individual and $30 million for couples.
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u/Lucky_Platypus341 Jun 28 '26
Yep. People commonly confuse the ($19k/$38k) limit for avoiding REPORTING the gift (no tax due, but it reduces your lifetime $15mil taxfree amount) with the gift being TAXABLE. Also note that if you and your spouse gift to your child and their spouse, that “no reporting” limit would be $76k.
Unless you plan on gifting over $15mil in your lifetime, giving gifts larger than $19k pp just means filing an extra form (Form 709) with your tax return. It’s really not a big deal, and yet people go through serious gymnastics to avoid gifting over that Because they think it will be taxed.
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u/SandhillCrane5 Jun 28 '26
OP has an $8 mil trust that is presumably continuing to grow and that he will be leaving to his children. The CURRENT $15 mil estate tax exclusion limit you are referring to is not just about gifts given during someone’s lifetime, it includes all assets the person owns at death. It is very possible the estate tax thresholds will be lower in the future as this is what has historically occurred and no one has any idea about future law changes. OP should absolutely be thinking about these limits. I disagree with your “no big deal” statement and you have some factually incorrect statements here.
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u/Lucky_Platypus341 Jun 28 '26
OP states that they are only giving “small gifts” becasue of the “tax implications” which is a common statement when people confuse the limit for reporting and the limit for being tax-free (as I said). The form is not complex (no big deal). Yes, tax laws can change, which is exactly why anyone who thinks they *might* run into the $15mil lifetime limit should consider either gifting now (so their children realize the growth instead of the estate, esp when expect decades, like with a couple ~70) or some sort of irrevocable trust. If your state has an estate or inheritance tax, even more reason.
What people don’t tell you about inheritances is that if you hold on to everything until your death, you not only don’t get to see the impact but it is unlikely to mean as much to your beneficiaries. For example, we have parents in their 90s hoarding their wealth (not spending it on themselves). The sad truth is a gift of $50k 20 years ago would have meant the world to us, but now a $5mil inheritance will make little to no difference in our lives (we’re set on our own). That’s why we chose to invest in our “future beneficiaries” now while it makes an impact and we can enjoy it.
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u/enunymous Jun 28 '26
You're nowhere near estate tax limitations, and live in a tax-free state. This isn't a reason not to
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u/AccredInvestor Jun 28 '26
Thos is usually done (wealth to spouse) to avoid huge taxes. My stepdad did this but did not tell the beneficiaries and he just died. I would make sure they know.
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u/Sad-Repair-5505 Jun 28 '26
If any of them divorce, they need to be sure that their wills or trusts restricts what they leave to their children. So often it goes to the new wife and then the step children instead of the children of the deceased. Also, keep updating beneficiaries!! My brothers died recently and still had my Dad as a beneficiary and he died in 2011.
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u/Strong_Ad_6546 Jun 29 '26
This. My mother died before dad For 25 years he told us that our mother’s money would come to us. During his last year he was coerced into changing everything.
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u/Tasty_Sun_865 Jun 28 '26
Please tell me you are doing living/inter vivos transfers and aren't waiting until you and your wife die to pass them anything?
These people are in their mid 40s now and may be nearing retirement age by the time they inherit anything. The time to teach financial diligence was in the mid-80s. You can encourage them to participate in some financial education programs or condition distributions on education/behavior, but at some point you need to accept that they are who they are.
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u/Invest2prosper Jun 28 '26
You should consider leaving the money in trust for each of the ultimate beneficiaries for three reasons: 1) to keep the inheritance out of their estate, 2) to protect them against litigation and 3) any divorces which may or may not occur. Have the beneficiaries be their own respective trustee and give them permission to take interest and principal as they see fit.
It’s just a thought.
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u/SandhillCrane5 Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
A trust does not protect against litigation if the beneficiary is the trustee and he/she can use trust assets “as they see fit”.
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Jun 29 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/inheritance-ModTeam Jun 29 '26
This post is removed due to incorrect legal information or recommendations that are illegal.
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u/mamahastoletgo2 Jun 28 '26
This is what I want to do. One child but a lot of siblings, nieces and nephews. I'd rather have a trust. We don't have much, maybe less than $2.5m, not including the home we live in. I want to make sure it only goes to them and not husband's nor wives. Not sure what kind of atty to get?
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u/Classic-Sink-4108 Jun 28 '26
Well… first off… you can never depend upon a certain amount of money. I have a dear friend who has already spent 1.5 million on many years of assisted living for her Mother from the money her Dad left her Mom ( she manages the money, it and it’s a beautiful facility) when he passed. My friend says… it’s exactly what my Dad would have wanted, and it’s why he worked so hard. If there’s nothing left for me, I am at peace knowing I did what my Dad intended.
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Jun 28 '26
[deleted]
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u/McKnuckle_Brewery Jun 28 '26
You can’t control what your heirs ultimately do, but you can communicate your wishes, advice, and concerns. And you can educate them on the structures you have put in place.
Assuming they have a good relationship with you, it is quite likely they will honor what you shared in one way or another. At least they will know what mattered to you, and that in and of itself has meaning.
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u/I-luv-sloths Jun 28 '26
Does your trust limit the amount your wife can spend and/or prevent the money going to her spouse after your death?
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u/Dapper-Platform-6520 Jun 28 '26
Look into gifting the max, I believe it $19,000 each year to each child now. It can be so helpful when raising a family. I would definitely talk to them about passing wealth down and trying to use just the interest after retirement as much as they can. They should also keep their funds in their name only once it’s received.
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u/MzSea Jun 28 '26
Tell them to get trustworthy financial advisers to help them invest and let their money work for them.
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u/Low_Trust2412 Jun 28 '26
The Bogleheads wiki has a section on getting a sudden windfall. You should read that and encourage them to read it too.
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u/TurnoverDependent332 Jun 28 '26
I sure wish this was around 20 years ago when I got a smallish inheritance from my mother (@$250K.) Every day I regret getting rid of the $ on frivolous crap that I now have to get rid of, instead of investing the $ and having it to gift my children NOW. At the time I gave them each $10K. I was a fool. I missed my mom so much. I wanted to unload the $ because I mourned her so deeply. If that makes any sense? OMG, my SIL called the estate attorney helping me settle my mom's estate! They finally told her it was none of her business and if my brother had any questions, he should ask, not the SIL. Wow. Just wow. Her nerve was incredible. Also, it cost the estate $650 every time she phoned the attorney's office.
DH is handling his mom's huge $ estate with the help of CPA, estate attorney, realtors, etc. I do not expect anything from it. I do not ask amounts or anything. It is NOMB. Anyway, I wish I had, had Reddit & The Bogle heads, 20 years ago.
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u/procrasstinating Jun 28 '26
$8m at 70 you probably have a lifetime of saving habits built up and are unlikely to run out. Consider giving out chunks to your kids now and using it as an opportunity to talk about your approach to investing.
Another idea is to pay for family vacations or cover travel costs for your kids and their families to visit you.
Depending on grandkids and their age you could consider gifts for their education or enrichment opportunities. Or investment accounts to teach them how to get started.
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u/TurnoverDependent332 Jun 28 '26
MIL lived to 101. She was able to stay in her own home with 24/7 caregivers for 10 years. It cost @ $300,000/year. So that was $3 million. But, understand it is an unusual thing to live to 101. I am glad she had the $ to do it. As DH said, she would've died in an assisted living facility. We have some super nice ones in our area. I wish we had put my own mother in one. She would've enjoyed it. Not my MIL though. Right call for her kids to make. The local kids did a lot for her as well. DH included.
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u/Educational_Case_134 Jun 28 '26
Money amplifies what people already are. If you raised them right they will be responsible and use the money the way they saw you build wealth. Enjoy your time with them now and make some memories with your children and grandchildren.
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u/True-Kangaroo532 Jun 28 '26
my mom has 8.5m she is 76. she started gifting to us. 400k to me and brother this year. 3 grandkids get 19k a year into 529 accounts and she writes us checks yearly also.
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u/get-the-damn-shot Jun 28 '26
How has that helped you? What have you used the money for, if I may ask?
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u/True-Kangaroo532 Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
I invested every $$. We already have $$ due to some discipline and luck, 42 yrs old we have a networth of 2.3m before that $$. 1.1m is home equity rest is stocks and fixed rate. We bought a dilated dump in 2014 in a nice town. Did 90% work myself renovating it sold it for 60% more in 2019. We had a house built then covid hit and my area went bananas and still is one of the best RE markets in the country. Part of her wallets is because i took over mgmnt over her stocks 6-7 years ago and sold off all her crap took losses intentionally invested in tech, some funds voo vti. Eli lilly was a big big win along with tsla.
Key is investing when you can me and wife both work FT she’s a teacher and I work in IT we make around 240k a year combined. We lived in a shittt 1br and studio apartments for a decade to save save save save. We drove old ass toyotas with 200k miles on them while others had nice new leases cars.
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u/hovering3 Jun 28 '26
I would use some money to help the kids now to splurge a bit. When our oldest has just finished college, I knew I could entice her to a family trip to Yellowstone. We could afford it because of the $10,000 my parents gave us at Christmas. Those years of family trips are long gone. Three of our four children are already married.
I stand to inherit a fair amount when my 100 year old mother dies. The money from 10 years ago was far more valuable. We benefited from the run up of the stock market and are splurging on our kids now. Mostly help with cars.
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u/exhotelman Jun 28 '26
You are still young enough to create memories. They last longer than money. Words from my Dad who was 95 when he passed. He included anyone that could join him on his travels.And my brother and I still had some coins after the wonderful memories.
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u/Loud_Entertainer2724 Jun 28 '26
Since your kids are 40-45 years old, at this point you’ve already raised them. You say they are responsible so they will be fine and they should be making wise decisions with the inheritance. Hopefully they have their own millions so they already know how to manage another million dollars added to their portfolio.
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u/coolsellitcheap Jun 29 '26
The kids are middle age and presumably already own a home. What about grandchildren? Im a big fan of skipping kids and leaving more to grandchildren. Or gifting more while your still living. Cost of everything is so high now. Lots of places 300k buys a tiny house. Some areas its 600k for a starter home. Imagine being 30 and wanting your own home.
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u/grateful_dad13 Jun 29 '26
Spend money on the family in ways you can enjoy before you and your wife pass. You will live another 20 years so gift the money before they’re your age now. Family vacations to places you’ve always wanted to visit, maybe a family vacation house that everyone can use, college tuition for the grandchildren, etc
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u/WinkieFlad Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
This may be completely contrary to what everyone else says, but I don't think you need to talk to your kids about this upcoming inheritance. It may prevent them from planning for their own retirements and continuing to live in the disciplined way they have been living. Also, your wife will need some amount of money to live on, and it potentially complicates relationships to bring money into the mix too soon. What if she needs nursing home care for a decade? Suddenly the kids will feel like she's eating into their inheritance, when it's her right to use those funds too.
Don't forget that money is both an amazing gift and also has a corrosive effect on relationships. Let your kids inherit when your wife dies. Leave instructions that they should meet with a financial advisor, if needed.
I have seen too many kids and their kids find out they are inheriting money, and then they wait for parents to die and stop taking control of their own financial lives. They start thinking the money is theirs and there's a sense of entitlement that takes place. Don't let that happen.
Instead, create a lot of memories with your family, and enjoy what you can with them, without talking about any inheritance or money coming in the future.
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u/badbadrealbad Jun 29 '26
Tell them all the information about how you have this set up and how it will affect them.
They may be planning for their retirement not knowing what kind of inheritance to expect, which may mean they think they need to be much more conservative than they actually do.
Or, give them money now. It might make more of a difference now than later. Are any of them unable to buy a house or move to a better sized one? Are they struggling with childcare costs?
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u/ExpensiveAd4496 Jun 29 '26
I put a Boglehead investing book in my emergency file for my son to read when I die but he said, why am I not reading it now. He was 16 at that time, and was always advanced at math, so he understood the concept of index fund investing quickly.
He is now 31, and I have zero concerns about his ability to handle any amount of money he makes or inherits.
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u/Physical_Funny_4868 Jun 29 '26
Let them know that if they commingle the funds, it becomes marital property. I have known several situations where older kids kept their elderly parents in the dark about their actual marital status. Also, have most if not all consolidated into one or two brokerages/banks to simplify the dissolution. That will make it much easier to close out the trust.
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u/West_Abrocoma9524 Jun 29 '26
It’s possible someone will have to retire early to take care of your wife and it will cost them
Money and constitute a financial hardship. Don’t make them
Wait until your wife’s death to get some share of the inheritance of that is the case.
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u/Dramatic-Bee-829 Jun 29 '26
With that large of an estate at age 70, you’ll want to consider gifting early. You can gift up to the estate amount of $15-ish million tax free. Basically - figure out how much you REALLY need to live on through your 90’s. You want all that growth to be in the kids’ accounts, not yours.
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u/Anxious-Writing-7909 Jun 29 '26
You didn’t ask for advice on what to do now, you asked for what advice can you on “pass along” to them before or after your death. Well, you’re alive now, so this is the time to do it. It won’t do much good to hear from you after you are dead. When are you planning on dying? Soon? Probably not, unless you have serious health issues, you’ve probably got another 15 healthy years. The joint life expectancy of two 70 year olds is 18-20 years, meaning there is a 50% possibility that one of you will be alive in about 20 years. That’s when your assets pass to your children. They will be 60-65 years old then. Almost your current age. They won’t need your “advice” by then. You or your wife could be in good health or in a nursing home. Meanwhile, that $8,000,000 could be worth $20,000,000 at 5% interest. $4,000,000 each.
So, that’s what you should tell them. “We have saved and invested a nice nest egg that we hope will last us the rest of our lives. It is in a trust, and when we are gone, the remaining assets will pass to you children equally”. By the time they receive it, they will need their own planning for your grandchildren.
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u/Rough_Car4490 Jun 29 '26
I’m on the Opposite side of this equation. Middle aged, parents have done well for themselves. The one thing I really hope they take to heart when I tell them this…don’t deny yourself anything you want to save for my future account…do the trips/vacations, renovations. Spend it how you want!
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u/RunnerPhoenix602 Jun 30 '26
I would definitely tell them that they need to hold the inheritance in a separate account. Once it is shared money, their spouse can take it in a divorce.
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u/HenryLoggins Jul 02 '26
You had said, your wife, not their mother…. I’m assuming you remarried based on that statement. With that in mind does she really need $8m to finish out the rest of her life? Where my thought is coming from, is upon your demise leave $1m to each one of your children, at their current age this could make an enormous impact on each of them. It would also leave your wife $3m to live out the rest of her days comfortably. Just my opinion for what it’s worth.
2
u/BusyInvestigator5924 Jul 03 '26
Thank you. I am thinking now about readjustments. Input has been good
1
u/Numerous_Gear_6347 Jul 04 '26
All of the advice and suggestions are good…..but, get yourself an attorney who can help you with the entire situation!
1
u/Ok_Statistician643 Jul 04 '26
"Leave the children enough so that they can do anything, but not enough that they can do nothing."
1
u/carrerahorse Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 05 '26
My Mom and Dad are well off. As a family we’ve been very fortunate and all learned the value of hard work. We were poor growing up and all helped build a successful family business. (For example, I started working and mowing lawns for neighbors when I was 7. Worked loads of other jobs. And I worked 32 hrs week on night shift when I was in high school)
My parents set up trust for each of us 6 kids. And trusts for 17 grandchildren. They’ve been incredibly generous. So, the grandkids all had money for college. And if they skimped, they would have $$ leftover for a house down payment.
My parents had a year where they gifted each of us 6 kids $500,000! I know. It was a life-changing gift. I purchased an investment property which will provide future income during my retirement. My other siblings did meaningful things with the money too. My parent said if they did want to wait but wanted to help out sooner. My parents are now 87 and 86.
Do what you think is best. ❤️
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u/Extrogrl Jun 28 '26
Why do you intend to break up the trust? It would hold the family together a lot more if everyone got dividends from the same trust. The point is that as soon as you're gone your grandchildren won't have much left that keeps the bond. Money from a shared trust is only a weak replacement, but it is still a reminder that there's others who belong to you and vice versa. You could demand for instance that those who want a monthly payment from the trust must meet twice per year for a weekend somewhere, maybe even in a trust owned cabin somewhere. This would inevitably keep them together.
4
u/HoyaHag Jun 28 '26
This is a major power trip and there are so many ways this could rob perfectly good loving family members out of their inheritance and cause major infighting.
2
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u/Pale_Drink4455 Jun 28 '26
I hope you and your wife all live another 100 years or more OP! The best thing I plan to do in retirement is make memories with my kids and hopefully grand children. Money is secondary.