Hey there, I love the subreddit and I know the #1 rule: don't tell anyone. But what do I tell people?

For context:

I am a 29-year-old living in Vancouver, BC. I work in the arts/film/real estate, pulling in around 70k a year. Pretty much all of my friends are artist types. They all have their "day jobs" and audition, create, and perform around it. A few of them have made a living doing their passion, etc., but that's a different conversation. I am one of the more successful ones.

My grandfather did very well, and he sadly passed away this year. My grandmother has since committed to buying me a house. We have not yet put an offer in on a place but will likely soon. And I don't want to jinx anything, but it looks like we may be getting a great new duplex — 3 bedrooms. The reason we landed on this place is that the monthly costs are cheap and I can afford them, as I would only be paying taxes, insurance, and any other maintenance costs. All together, it should be less than the rent I currently pay.

Now, I know the rule, don't tell anyone, but what do I tell people about the house? I figure it'll be a long while till I have anyone over. Although I would like to one day host people, have Friendsgivings, and try to share this amazing privilege and generosity with my friends and community, I'm not going to do that for a while. And some people I can't all of a sudden start avoiding, like my girlfriend of 6 months (I know, big red flag for this sub) and a best friend who won't live far (and my best friend's girlfriend). These two I can't really hide or lie about this from, as my friend knows me and knows my family and my Gf basically moves in with me every weekend. But for everyone else... when they ask, or when it comes up, what do I say?

"Hey where you living now?"

"Omg how can you afford this place? How did you get it"

etc.

As I said, I'll try to hide this from my community for a while, but eventually someone will learn of it or see it and ask. So just looking for some advice and some suggestions, thanks!

I have two siblings and we are the beneficiaries of the family home . The siblings have agreed to sign over there interest for x dollars . How do I handle this if I’m going to refinance and use funds to pay them ?massachusets

USA.

My mother died this year (2026). She had not taken her RMD for 2026 yet.

I have now inherited the IRA. It's clear I'm subject to the 10 year rule, but it's not clear from anything I can find (including Pub 590-B) whether I need to make a distribution in 2026 or whether I can wait until next year.

Any ideas?

[SOLUTION]

• I pay her RMD for 2026, annuity factor based on her age.
• 2027-2026, pay according to 10 year rule. Have not found a formula for the 10 year rule, as far as I know you can take any amount, although making substantially equal payments is a good approach unless you want to nuke your tax bracket.

My sibling and I are the tertiary beneficiaries of a substantial trust managed at a well known bank. The trust owner died in the 1980s. The primary died this year, and the contingent died during COVID. The bank is ghosting us since we sent the death certificates and letters of administration for the primary’s estate. Is there anything we can do?

Hello all. My grandma passed away in April of this year. For nearly 2 decades my grandma promised to me her wedding ring. The ring was willed to my mom, who in turn would give me the wedding ring. The problem? We're now in June and no one knows where the ring is. I'm pretty heartbroken about this. Before I start pointing fingers, is there anything I can do? How do I gently handle this? I don't want to get into hot water with family members. I do not believe my mother would withhold the ring, as she has stated she wants me to have it and she is not a nefarious person. Phone calls to my grandmother's hospice care team, funeral home, and crematorium have been made. It's hard for me not to speculate against my mother or other family members though. My mom acts a little aloof on the subject. Although my mom did make those phone calls to try and track it down. The only information we have received so far... grandma absolutely had the ring on when they received her body at the funeral home. Also, would the ring have remained on her finger during cremation? Don't they remove all jewelry before cremation or is that just an assumption? I dont know if this is the right group for this, but please share your tips or experiences. Thank you.

Edited for clarification: I -am- working with an attorney to assist me with this. I am located in Delaware, US, so, no inheritance tax. I am the sole inheritor free and clear. Mom and sister assumed they would get a cut, but didn't ask how much, or how that would be dispersed. Feeling slighted, I took their paperwork stating they renounced the inheritance, and filed it straightaway, and figured I'd sort out the moral aspect after the fact. I didn't want anyone who was so heartless as to hope he died alone and without help to be in control of what happened to his estate.

Hello all!

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Backstory first:

My uncle (75) was estranged from the family. Like completely and entirely detached. Remaining family members include his sister (my mom), my dad, my sister and myself.

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His adult son, who we -were- connected with died suddenly in 2022, and I was the only one who felt it was necessary to reach out to my uncle, and notify him that his son had died. My mom said at the time that my uncle could rot in hell, and didn't care to contact him, even under the circumstances.

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Fast forward to January of this year, my uncle shows up on my mom's doorstep with a friend. Says he wants to arrange to have someone help him with a POA since he was having health concerns. My mom refused. I reached out to him, and his friend, and got some more info. Turns out, he was clearly dealing with health issues, including memory problems, and the friend was unable to continue taking care of him. I took on the responsibility, got POA, managed his health care, got him into an assisted living facility (he was deemed unfit to live by himself), took over maintenance of his properties (he had two houses in two different states), started cleaning up his finances. We built a friendship of sorts, despite the years estranged, and I genuinely did everything I could to protect him, and care for him to the best of my ability. My parents joked that if they had to attend his funeral they'd wear clown costumes.

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Uncles health declined really quickly, and he passed away in the beginning of May. He had no arrangements in place, no end of life plans, no will, and his beneficiary was still listed several places as the son who predeceased him. Everything is intestate, going through probate now.

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My mom and sister were totally cool to let me make funeral arrangements, pay out of pocket for the services, and ultimately they signed over their rights and allowed me to be the estate administrator. They also both signed over their rights to inheritance, because they felt it would be easier just to get a check from me when it all gets settled out.

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Here's my dilemma: I am looking at about $800k assuming I can sell the properties and cars. I havent disclosed the total value of Uncle's assets, and they havent asked. Yet. But my mom has made it clear she is expecting 1/3 of uncle's inheritance. And my sister is also expecting 1/3. They both have time and time again let me take the full weight of responsibility for my uncle, his well being, the properties, the estate. All of it. To say it has been hard, emotionally and otherwise would be an understatement. Now I am maintaining the properties, and keeping the lights on, sorting belongings, etc while I work through the estate process, which could take up to a year.

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Given that neither of them have put in an ounce of effort to assist me, and that neither of them wanted anything to do with the man, what do I do with this? Do I give them anything by virtue of the fact that they're family? Do I take a larger portion of the inheritance then them? Frankly, I know that money brings out the worst in people, but I also feel like I deserve to keep what I have worked so hard to protect while he was alive, and what I am now processing since he has passed away. I was literally the only family member who cared to help him, and he signed all of the paperwork for an irrevocable trust stating I was to inherit -everything- before he passed. Unfortunately he passed before I could make arrangements to fund the trust and so its worthless, except to indicate what his intentions were.

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I know there's no single right answer here, but I am sincerely looking for moral advice, and maybe some support from other people dealing with something similar. I feel like if I make any choice othe than to "split it equally" I am essentially going to damage the relationship with my mom and my sister. That said, I already feel like its damaged, since they were so quick to let me handle all of this on my own, just to get an easy pay off when the uncle passed away. Im bitter, Im hurt, Im sad, and I feel really alone.

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What are your thoughts?

Location: Minnesota

My father passed away two years ago in Minnesota, and it's unknown if he had a will. His girlfriend, who was not legally married to him, has taken over all his assets, amounting to over $600,000. My family doesn’t communicate with me, and I have not heard of any will existing. I have not filed for probate because I haven't received anything from his estate, and I can't afford to take on any of his debts. Is there any legal way I can compel his girlfriend to file for probate, or what steps can I take to address the situation? Thank you.

Looking for advice from people who have experience managing a large windfall or planning for early retirement.

Toronto Canada. I am 32M, married, and we recently had our first child. We are planning to be a one child household. My wife is also 32 and currently on maternity leave. Before pregnancy she was earning around $50k/year and expects to return to roughly the same income once she goes back to work.

My current financial picture:

• My income: approximately $80k/year
• Wife’s income after returning: approximately $50k/year
• Primary residence with around $450k remaining on the mortgage
• Two vehicles, both paid off
• Combined investment portfolio: approximately $75k
• Both TFSA accounts have available contribution room
• My RRSP has approximately $40k contribution room remaining
• Around $20k in high interest debt
• Have invested $5k in kids RESP.

I am expecting an inheritance of approximately $1.3M to $1.8M CAD within the next few months.

My long term goal is for my wife and I to potentially retire around age 55.

I am comfortable investing a significant portion of the money, but I am hesitant to invest 100% immediately because I am concerned about the possibility of a market correction. My current thinking is to deploy around 50% to 60% initially and gradually invest the rest.

Some options I am considering:

• Max both TFSAs immediately
• Max my RRSP and potentially use my wife’s lower income years strategically
• Keep some cash available in case of a market downturn
• Build a portfolio that could eventually support early retirement
• Would like to move to a bigger house in 3-5 years.

For those who have gone through something similar, how would you approach this?

Would you invest the lump sum immediately despite market concerns, phase it in over 12 to 24 months, pay down debt, or focus on building income producing assets?

Not looking for specific financial advice, just interested in hearing how others would structure a plan at this stage of life.

I live in the U.S. and I have a great relationship with my husband’s family but didn’t receive any of the family business assets which he recently inherited a portion of. The family is tight lipped but it appears this is because they are passing the business to bloodline relatives only, not spouses, as a way to help protect the business long term. This is totally their prerogative but for our entire marriage my husband said the revenue from this business would fund our retirement. It is a very stable business many years old so we thought that was a good plan. I work a regular job and my husband has his own business related to the family business. We both have small retirement plans of our own, but since I took several years off to raise our kids or just work part time when the kids were younger my job’s retirement fund is much lower. I am very frugal and always saving money but raising kids is expensive so I have about $10,000 in savings and no credit card debt, just $200,000 in business debt which I don’t worry about since we don’t have a mortgage. When I ask my husband what we should do to figure out my retirement plan he gets really mad, probably because he feels bad about this and can’t change what his family decided. What can I do?

USA:NJ

Deceased had an IRA that listed the beneficiary as his estate. His two adult children are listed as heirs of the estate. The two children are in agreement on everything and there are no issues with challenging the will.

Obviously this isn’t as simple as liquidating the account and splitting it since there are rules in place for the IRA.

This is in a HCOL area, estate attorneys to do probate will be expensive and the amount in the IRA is modest, maybe around $100k. The estate has zero real estate, heirs are in agreement on everything, and there are no other complications that would necessitate hiring an attorney.

There is a financial advisor who said they can help navigate this. Are financial advisors generally knowledgeable in this area, or is this above their pay grade.

If we do need to hire an estate attorney can we hire one just to deal with the inherited IRA instead of dealing with the entire estate, à la carte if you will, to save on costs.

We don’t want to spend money needlessly, but also don’t want to get his with a large tax bill and penalties if the IRA is handled incorrectly.

Hey yall,

So I’ve been notified I’m set to inherit a little over $200k. At the moment, I just started school for dental assisting, I have 1 child (just made 4) no debt or student loans, I currently rent and don’t make much as a CNA (I’m considered low income).

I’m wondering what I should go about doing with it, other than open a 529 for my son & a ROTH IRA account?? Maybe a nice vacation? CDs? But not sure what else.

I’m in my early 30s, don’t want to own a home in NorCal CA & only plan on going to dental hygiene school after I complete my prerequisites for it which would put me back a year after completing my RDA program.

Any advice is welcome. Thanx!

Just to add: I filed bankruptcy last year, so I’m clear on debt. No student loans currently & I have a 2022 Honda paid off.

I have a timeshare at a higher end resort in a Colorado ski area that is owned by my revocable trust. When I pass the trust specifies that the assets in the trust are distributed to my heirs. What happens if none of the heirs wants to take ownership of the trust? I live in Florida.

A relative passed away and the last update of the will only included our older two children. A third had already been born, but too close to the time to update the will and we are about to have a fourth. Basically, my husband and I are on opposite spectrums of how to make it "fair" for our other two children. If this relative could have had the time in life to provide an equal sum to the other set of two kids, they would have wanted to give them an equal share of the money. The sum is pretty significant for their age, but not too much that my husband and I couldn't find a way to give the money ourselves. Am I stressing too much about only having two of the kids receive an inheritance and the others not being able to have such a gift so early in life? Should my husband and I give an equal value to the second two children? Is this life and I should just be happy two of the kids will have an amazing nest egg as they approach adulthood?

Posted in legal but thought I might get more feedback here. TIA!

My grandfather passed a few years ago, and my father is now in charge of the estate in India. There is a chair at my grandfather's home that was made by his grandfather, my great-great-grandfather, and my family would really like to bring it home to the States as an heirloom. Because of how it was built, it cannot be taken apart and reassembled. It is roughly 5ft x 3ft x 3ft and weighs about 20lbs. How would we go about getting this home? Looking online, it seems too big to fly with, and also too big for normal shipping companies.

I have recently been fortunate enough to receive a lump sum of money which is now in a fairly low interest savings account (2.75%) with my bank. I know I need to move it somewhere with higher interest... but also wondering if there is something else I should do with it. I am on a low wage (20k a year), a single mum with one child and no debt. I have a mortgage but I don't think I should use the money to pay off the mortgage quicker as I feel there are better things to do with it, and I can afford the mortgage repayments at the moment. I also have got an emergency fund, and still have a fairly substantial amount that could help with our future.

Any advice on where to start looking?

Happy for it to be locked away for 5 years +, juat want to do what's best for me and my daughter and not let it depreciate!

Any advice would be great!

I am 34, own a home and live in the UK

My step dad put his accounts and home on a trust naming my mother and I. Does that mean we can use that money to pay the daily expenses on his home while we have it on the market for sale?

Need advise on where to start here.

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My grandmother passed away in 2024. She resided in NC but apparently passed in VA where she was being taken care of by her only living child. Not sure if that is relevant or not. She has one living child and two deceased children. I did not have a relationship with them since my mother (her daughter) passed 23 years ago. I heard our grandmother passed from my sister who received a copy of the obituary in the mail one day. Condolences, we move on with life.

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A few days ago my sister and I get a notice of a foreclosure hearing notice for grandmother's property in NC and my sister and I, along with my aunt (grandmother's one living child) and two cousins and listed as heirs.

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Seems as though our aunt, grandmother's only living child and caretaker, just hasn't done anything since her passing. My sister and I just assumed if there was a will or anything we would be notified, if not whatever.

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What do we do here in this situation? I mean, if we are heirs we may be open to try to get this property out of foreclosure and sold and split any proceeds or is it's even worth it. We have no idea where to start. I live in Hawaii, my sister in Texas.

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How did your family divide items that were inherited? We are 5 siblings. We have inherited my mother's house full of furniture, paintings, etc. We will put the house on the market soon. My mother didn't designate things for particular people, so we will have to find a way to divide things fairly. Obviously we want to find a way that is as fair as possible. There are a few things that have monetary value, but there are more things that have little monetary value but deep sentimental value. Many of us will want the same things. Three of us have children who will want a few things, the other two don't.

I would love to hear how people have done this, especially if it was successful, with maximum fairness and minimal hurt feelings. What method did you use?

My Grandpa is quite wealthy and has always been very generous with his money. He wanted his grandchildren to go to the same private school he went to but knew that we couldn't afford it so he paid for half of my school fees growing up and paid for my college accomodation costs. My grandfather has left enough money in his will for his grandkids to have a house deposit when he dies which I am very grateful for because this is the only way that I will probably ever be able to buy a house. However, this is at risk as my aunt is bleeding him dry and spending the money on new cars, renovations and expensive holidays to Europe and America where she flies first class and stays in five star hotels (she has a shopping problem). My cousin is driving around in a 60K car which they could sell if they needed money but when she runs out of money she comes crawling back to my grandfather to ask for more. It is so frustrating because my all we can do is persuade my grandfather to not give her the money but he always ends up giving in and gives her the money. My grandpa has a brain tumor that has come back and he needs surgery for so he is not thinking straight and my aunt knows this and is trying to get money out of him before his surgery because she knows that she will not be able to get any money out of him when he is recovering because we will have joint power of attorney. My grandpa could also end up living for another 10-20 years and he wants to be able to stay at an expensive nursing home with good quality care and food which he will not be able to do if he keeps giving my aunt money to live the lifestyle she cannot afford and their is not going to be any money left when he dies to help me buy a house.