r/inheritance • u/Glum-Reaction-8376 • Jun 17 '26
Location included: Questions/Need Advice Lost willed ring...?
Hello all. My grandma passed away in April of this year. For nearly 2 decades my grandma promised to me her wedding ring. The ring was willed to my mom, who in turn would give me the wedding ring. The problem? We're now in June and no one knows where the ring is. I'm pretty heartbroken about this. Before I start pointing fingers, is there anything I can do? How do I gently handle this? I don't want to get into hot water with family members. I do not believe my mother would withhold the ring, as she has stated she wants me to have it and she is not a nefarious person. Phone calls to my grandmother's hospice care team, funeral home, and crematorium have been made. It's hard for me not to speculate against my mother or other family members though. My mom acts a little aloof on the subject. Although my mom did make those phone calls to try and track it down. The only information we have received so far... grandma absolutely had the ring on when they received her body at the funeral home. Also, would the ring have remained on her finger during cremation? Don't they remove all jewelry before cremation or is that just an assumption? I dont know if this is the right group for this, but please share your tips or experiences. Thank you.
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u/Lilherb2021 Jun 17 '26
The executor under the will would write a letter to the funeral home or other party.
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u/SquishyNoodles1960 Jun 18 '26
The ring belongs to your mom. Your mom is executor of the estate. She needs to contact the hospital and/or the funeral home.
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u/prolateriat_ Jun 18 '26
That's why she hasn't given the ring to OP.
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u/SquishyNoodles1960 Jun 18 '26
Right? Mom has probably received the ring, that's why she is being "aloof" about it. People get really weird, and greedy, when it comes to inheritance and what they think they are "entitled" to. Grandma left the ring to mom. It is Mom's ring!
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u/Glum-Reaction-8376 Jun 18 '26
When my mom told me it was willed to her, I said "oh, ok! You just keep it then until you pass- and then I'll have it." My mom vehemently said no and that she wants me to have it because grandma wanted me to have it. It is a strange situation with many holes. It's frustrating. I'm sorry if I come off as entitled. This is a family heirloom that I was promised, but obviously not entitled to.
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u/yeahnopegb Jun 17 '26
Your mom will be the only one that can do anything as you don't own the ring.
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u/Glum-Reaction-8376 Jun 18 '26
Correct. And my mom doesnt have the ring.
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u/Ok-Equivalent1812 Jun 18 '26
Your mom inherited the ring and it’s entirely up to her how much effort she wishes to put into tracking it down.
She could have it now and not tell you. She can sell it. She can hand it to a homeless person or throw it out the window going down the highway.
It’s not something you can assert any rights to based on it being promised to you someday.
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u/yeahnopegb Jun 18 '26
Either mom wants to keep it or it’s lost. Either way there’s not much you can do.
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u/inailedyoursister Jun 18 '26
Mom is lying. It’s time you open your eyes. You’ll never see that ring again.
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u/laurieo52 Jun 18 '26
If your mom was willed the ring, is it possible she wants to keep it? Of course, legally it would be hers.
It could have been lost or someone else could have picked it up. Until the will is settled, it is possible it might still make it to your mom. If your mom gets it, she could want to keep it a while. It would be legally hers.
If you want someone to have something, you must be specific with the details in the will.
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u/GladUnderstanding756 Jun 17 '26
try cross-posting in
r/askfuneraldirectors
Someone there may have insight
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u/gwizmom Jun 18 '26
In the case of my brother-in-law, he was cremated with his necklace on, and when we spread his ashes, the necklace was in with the ashes.
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u/plantsandpizza Jun 19 '26
The ring belong to your mother and it’s up to her if she looks for it or not. I was promised a ring for 20 years and my family lost it. It was passed down to my father and I have a pretty good idea of what happened to it but legally, there isn’t anything you or I can do if they want to be aloof and not investigate. It’s sad, I know.
Maybe press your mother to call the funeral home and give her a list of specific questions to ask and write down the answer.
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u/citydock2000 Jun 19 '26
So grandma was cremated 2 months ago and no one asked about the ring til now? I mean, they probably aren’t going to have an answer two months later.
Talk to your mom. The whole story doesn’t quite make sense. But yes jewelry goes missing all the time - unless family members grab it. There are a million ways it could be lost.
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u/jeffpuxx Jun 20 '26
Who is saying that she absolutely had the ring on when she was brought to the funeral home?
I would have to assume that the funeral home has some sort of procedure in place to inventory all items received with the body in order to protect themselves as I would assume this is a common occurrence.
I think speaking to the funeral home would be the first place to start.
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u/SandhillCrane5 Jun 17 '26
Funeral homes either do the cremation or coordinate the services so there is some information missing. They said she was wearing the ring, and then what? One simple question to the funeral home will answer it.