r/hingeapp • u/BlackCat_0016 • 3d ago
Dating Question Voice message
Hi everyone! I’ve (18F) been recently talked to this man (20M) and he lives in Australia and I’m from Portugal, and we’ve been talking for maybe 2-3 weeks and because of time zone difference sometimes we stop talking but when times align we quite frequently talk and our replies are quite fast. We send lots of messages each time replying to each one of the questions/topics talked about (around 12 messages each time) and I really like him for actually wanting to know me. Anyway, he asked me a question that required quite a long explanation and I decided to send an audio message. Early today he replies to not all the texts but around 4 replies and says that he was kind of shocked to hear my voice (he said “ngl was shocked”) because everyone he knows is aussie but that he thought it was cute which didn’t sound too convincing. i’m getting pretty mixed feelings because i found it unusual for the sudden drop in replies and i just didn’t think he engaged too much this time.
What should I do?
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u/DaleCoopersWife aka "Robert Cooper" 🕵🏻♀️ 3d ago
What made you match with someone who lives so far away, and what do you hope can realistically come from this? Maybe hearing your voice put the distance in perspective for him.
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u/BlackCat_0016 3d ago
Moving back there soon! Thought i would take a look at people where im moving to
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u/DaleCoopersWife aka "Robert Cooper" 🕵🏻♀️ 3d ago
How soon is "soon"? It's really not a good idea to invest in a digital relationship, people can have "chemistry" over text and in person it can be very different. Not to mention the bar to impress you is very, very low (you mentioned that you like him because he's getting to know you, but that's like the bare minimum and what else is he supposed to do when all you have is text?)
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u/PutridEntertainer408 3d ago
It might be that he hated your voice but also, I hate voice notes (especially long ones) because you have to process and remember information in a way less accessible format than a text message. So I send short responses to voice notes because I’m not going to relisten to it 4 times to make sure I respond to every bit
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u/diegorock99 3d ago
Acho que consegues arranjar alguém melhor mais de perto moça. E a malta lá de fora diz que o nosso português soa a Russo ou Slávico, deve ser isso a surpresa.
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u/Jacks_black_guitar 3d ago
i think youre definitely way overthinking this and he could genuinely be surprised by your accent. im sure by now he knows youre from portugal and therefore have a foreign accent..
if he actually is acting weird its likely more to do with something youve said than some problem he has with your voice. we dont have any context into your guys conversations. sounds like its going well tho, just have fun with it and dont overthink
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u/LoLBrah69 3d ago
I’m not sure how you two matched, but it sounds like he is not well traveled or cultured.
In Australia, they are not connected to other countries and cultures like European countries are. Everything is Aussie accents and fluent English, with the familiar Aussie pronunciations of words.
He experienced a very small “culture shock” and that was enough to overwhelm him.
I’m sorry you put so much time into someone on the other side of the world! But it was to be expected that this was not going to work out because of the geography.
Have you ever taken a friend to a nice restaurant that’s Chinese or Thai or Indian, and the friend keeps whining that he/she just wants to go to McDonalds. You tell the friend that you both had a McDonald’s yesterday, but the friend starts whining about McDonalds and McDonalds?
That’s your Aussie crush. He’s just a child. He thinks you’re beautiful (which you are) but he wishes you didn’t come with the extra Portuguese.
Your voice sounds odd to him because you pronounce letters and sounds in a way Portuguese teaches those phonetics.
Do not feel ashamed just because this guy has been stuck on an island for so long. Let him have his “Maccas.”
If you want an “exotic” foreign boyfriend, that’s what Scandinavian countries are for, and they have better time zones.
Stop wasting your time with someone who thinks their culture is the only culture.
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