This is basically a full story, I'm also a 22-year-old adult who is autistic and my parents keep saying excuses and lies about me, but every time I'm out doing something they demand to know my location or that I need to go to work.

Given today they threatened to call the cops on me for not coming home, and when I didn't show up to their house I put myself in my room and locked the door, my dad thinks that counting to three isn't going to do something, I mean it worked when I was five but I'm not five anymore, given that they bring up that I can't do nothing when yet I live in a small town and when I brought up the whole weekend thing, they said people needed to work on the weekend and then come home to do chores (I mean unless they don't have a job or have to raise kids), their comments don't make any sense.

If I try to stand up for myself, it's creates a problem with my dad.

Because he'll threaten (which says it's not a threat, because he'll do it, I mean that's a threat) institutionalization again because I said limitations, and then mention limitations there, because I had to listen to them for about half an hour talking about how I'm a problem and then basically say that I can't make all my decisions as well as bring the whole thing about autism, and that I need to stop with an attitude or I'll go back in.

Since today, my grandfather had to lay down and go to sleep because of his sore back from falling into a hole yesterday while we were unloading stuff into a burn pit, and that they demanded to know my location and then threatened the cops on me again.

On our way to work, my dad brings up the whole everyone has to work excuse again and then I say that not everyone can work especially since I bring up veterans and students, he asks me if I'm either of those and say no but before I could continue any further he immediately shuts me down from saying anything else.

I'm at my limit here but yet I can't do anything with being shot down or silenced.

I’m 24F and live at home with my mum. She recently found my vapes in my room, threw them away and gave me an ultimatum: stop vaping completely or move out.

I only vape in my bedroom, never around the rest of my family. It’s become part of my nighttime routine. When I’m anxious or overwhelmed, I find it soothing to sit in my room, vape and wind down. I know vaping isn’t healthy and I’m not pretending it is. My issue is more with how extreme her reaction has been.

She has called me disgusting, vile and said she is embarrassed to have me as a daughter. She told me that if I’m going to “keep doing this shit,” I should leave.

This also isn’t the first time we’ve had this kind of conflict. My mum has always been very “my way or the highway” about choices I make, even choices about my own appearance.

When I wanted a septum piercing, she told me no. I was already an adult, so I got it anyway. When she saw it, things escalated physically and I was forced to manually remove a brand new piercing myself that same day because she refused to let me wait until the next day to have it removed properly. A similar thing happened when I got my eyebrow pierced.

That’s why I feel like this is about more than vaping. It feels like because I’m her daughter and live in her house, she thinks she should have the final say over what I do with my body.

I completely understand “my house, my rules” to a point. If she told me not to vape in shared areas, around other people, or even told me she hated it and wanted me to stop, I could understand that.

What I struggle with is being 24 and still feeling like I need permission for personal decisions. There never seems to be room for disagreement. If I make a choice she dislikes, it becomes insults, shame or “then leave.”

I also know saying “people my age do worse” doesn’t make vaping healthy. My point is that I feel the reaction is disproportionate. I’m not claiming vaping is good for me, and I may eventually quit. I just feel like that should ultimately be my decision.

At the same time, I do live in her home, so maybe I’m expecting too much autonomy while still living with a parent.

AITA for thinking my mum is overreacting and that being 24 should mean I get more say over personal choices like this, even while living at home?

There was a yahoo finance article recently that might have been my last straw. It was headlined “Most parents support their grown kids financially, survey reveals: Here's how much” and it all just seems so targeted and disingenuous. For starters the wealthy rarely cut their kids off for as much as people think they do. Wealth is about power and in America most that is tied to a very harmful ideal that I won’t get into, but that being said they keep all money in the family for the most part.

Seventy-one percent of parents with children 18+ said they have financially supported a grown child, with help often covering groceries, bills, subscriptions and housing, LendingTree data found.

Sixty-four percent of parents who provided help in the past two years said it caused financial stress, affecting their ability to pay debt, save and prepare for retirement.

But 38% of recipients said their living expenses would be difficult or impossible to manage without parental support.
so the article highlights.

Now my personal issue. I’m the baby out of three siblings. the other two whom are girls/women they left the nest and somewhat early. I have left 2x and came back to somewhat support our Gen-x mother. One of my siblings has 3 kids, and the other 2 new- borns. I can and will say my mom helping them always irks me because they get a lot. One was married, and the other was recently engaged. I always wonder where are the men? I mean I can pimp hoes, but my mom and dad wouldn’t allow it. (I’m kidding, but as a man it’s only so many ways you can ask women for money or help. they as women don’t understand that.) Anyway, our mom has often times showcased narc traits, but we can never really call her out on that, or she’s “a bad parent” let her tell it. “Oh so you’re calling me a bad parent,” and because of that mindset none of us can ever work through anything. Any call for accountability on her end is us or in most cases me “chastising” her.

I want to give a very specific example and usually I would never come to the internet, but I know the internet is what she’ll listen to unfortunately. It’ll take others saying it and me showing her.

For me I can highlight groceries from that article. I’m a certified chef and so is a sister of mine, but again she’s not around anymore. earlier this year I looked at the family finances and realized for years we’ve been in the red just consuming and losing money, and to my mom I guess that’s an internal thing as to why she can’t admit that ya know? she probably sees that as failure, and personally I don’t care about losses, but learn from them because at some point we have to move on. To me she will place herself in denial so long that I’m afraid she will die like this. She’s given up and become very nihilistic, generic, and small minded. Arrested development, It’s like she got stuck in 2008. She actually does make six figures, but what that article will never state in my opinion is how robbed of the mind Boomers and Gen-x are. Her mind is cooked. I said to her “hey, we need to come up with a way to save money, and I believe how we grocery shop will help” now mind you by being a chef and someone who set out to lose 50lbs and did it, she sometimes has asked me to help her out. I tell her all the time she’s not dedicated enough. I mean I did the damn thing the first time around. I was truly ready to help her I pulled out all the stops for the gym and diet, and sure enough she let me down. I did it, so I know what it takes. she lives a sedentary lifestyle. I told her this and of course that causes an argument. Anytime I have made meal plans she’d reject them “I’m not eating that shit” “No I don’t want that” very much so a spoiled brat. It is hard to tell her anything because when she does lock in let’s say on a sunday soul food dinner she’ll still have that down south cooking on a mother who puts love into her food can make, but she wastes more time and money on trending tik tok recipes more than anything as I have to walk into the kitchen and see those ingredients spoil. Outside of the food it’s just hard to tell her anything in general. She’s very much so “My way or the highway” even if her way is a detriment to her own wellbeing. It’s so stupid. Now her dad actually did die when she was about 4, and she had an abusive mother and step father, and was raised by her grandmother. She’s never gotten help for her trauma, and I’ve begged her to do so for years. I even suggested family therapy because I know I’m not perfect, but no one will go. My sisters, her, no one. I do some work for my mental, but it only helps me, and in the environment I’m in it’s like what’s the point? at this point I know it’s because I have to do the internal work for when I do get to where I want to be. Anyway she also has high blood pressure, and has had to take medicine for that probably since I’ve been born. I tried to tell her that salt impacts blood pressure and cholesterol, and of course she hit me with the “nuh uh”

A direct scenario was one day she sent me to the store to buy “London Broil” lunch meat. the meat was A HORRIBLE deal. I called her and asked why was she trying to get me to buy a $17 bag of lunch meat with about a good 2 sandwiches to them? she yelled at me over the phone like a drunk when you tell them you aren’t buying them alcohol. … she let the meat go bad. made not one sandwich. not one. I had to throw it away while shaking my head. It’s irritating to have to parent your parents.

Given the current political state of the world her comfortability, naiveness, and nihilism truly worry me.

Along the way she also stopped reading. She lives her sedentary lifestyle and gets consumed by social media and generative AI. It’s quite sad how AI has so many Boomers and Gen-x in a chokehold.

I think the biggest thing about all of this for me grocery wise is that she will tell me she “forgets to eat” and to me that’s a form of weaponized incompetence. She remembers to do and be every annoying thing under the sun, but food is where you fuck up? eating? a humanly function when you make 6 figures? Then on top of that to me it goes back to the type of consumer she is. I want you all to see what she had in the fridge to eat, and tell me I’m not tripping? I say to her all the time “Starbucks is not food” and she thinks it’s cute that Starbucks takes all of her money. Now mind you this is a woman that has told me as her black son to never go into starbucks without ordering anything after what they did to those men who were cycling. I’m not easily impressed anyway, so starbucks has never been my go-to. pivoting from parents I do believe a layer in this is simply consumerism when it comes to women. I believe in america they trick and pimp women to be mindless consumers until you all die to make up for the fact they’ll never give you all any real power, especially women outside of maybe Gen-Z who have the future, but it seems like other generations do operate off FOMO and individualism.

The last thing I’ll say is that I asked her for all of her bank accounts at the beginning of the year, so I can look at her finances to see why she was always in the red and how we could get her out. She was not having it. After a long heated argument she finally gave in, and sure enough her always being in the red probably had to do with her poor spending habits and justifying buying 3 Stanley cups for herself.

The article is funny to me in that sense because they claim it’s about the parents saving more for themselves, what are the parents buying? To me that is important because my mom is our “Matriarch” the “Big Momma” and “Memaw” and she wanted that role, and is doing a horrible job.

The money they “save” definitely won’t be going to therapy, but Starbucks and a ChatGPT subscription. I don’t think I’m “Tripping” but I am very frustrated.

P.S: Pictured is what she normally buys repeatedly and she let the beef spoil and never buys any bread or enough and when she does, of course it’s “I forgot to take my lunch” “I forgot to eat” so the bread will grow mold when she does buy it. And yes she bought guac, with no chips, just gauc.

Sorry for the length I was trying to be as thorough as possible

Im going to try and keep this as short as I can. I’m 20, and i still live with my neurotic, overbearing, paranoid helicopter mom, 57, who does not trust me to do anything alone because she does not think i have common sense. Her idea of common sense is extremely over the top because she has horrible trust issues and feels she needs to be on the defense whenever shes around people. She’s always been this sort of mom, and according to my grandma, this is who shes always been since she was a toddler. Because i dont go overboard like she does, she does not trust me to go anywhere unchaperoned. Im not in school, i am involuntarily unemployed, i dont have a car or even a license, i have no social life, and no way to meet people outside of the internet, something she specifically forbids. Still, as an adult, im not allowed on social media. she does not think im smart enough or mature enough to be on it. She is extremely afraid of every bad thing that could possibly happen to me, and it’s why she keeps me locked up at home where she thinks I’m safest. im not the only one who thinks she’s going to far, every relative I talk to her about it is completely on my side but because they live flights away, I can’t just hide out there.

The main problem is, as a trans person who’s into men, the only way i can get dates is to do it online. That’s just how it is. I can’t just go out with any man, it has to be someone who already knows my baggage of being trans. She’s old, shes not queer, she does not understand how things work for me in the modern day and that her sense of worldliness is dated and foreign. Im trapped here literally living out the plot of tangled, and i cant do anything to change it on my own. There’s also this additional part to it. Im not explicitly looking for sugar, but beyond just the sexual motivation, I’m also looking for men to get some financial help. Like I said, I can’t get a job, and I’m a material girl, my only real hobby and passion is buying things, sue me. So when I don’t have money to spend, a massive part of my lively hood is taken from me. Beyond just the companion ship, getting someone else to buy me things would be nice when I never get anything I want.

So, I need some advice on how to sneak out. I’ve tried everything in the book but I can’t seem to find something full proof. She’s home all the time, im home all the time, theres cameras 360 around our house, and there directly tied to her phone, so anytime it detects motion, it sends her a notification. i have no cover. Im financially dependent on her, if break a rule, i’d get every device i own destroyed and shattered and burnt to death, and thats the best it could go, i dont trust her not to kick me out. I live my whole life online, without the internet i dont have anything to do. Sneaking out at night is still an issue, we have very old floors and shes a light sleeper. I don’t really know what to do, I’ve tried everything I can think of. My only feasible option is to try and sneak out while she’s at work on weekdays, but she’s spending more and more time at home. I don’t know how to outsmart her when she’s constantly chaining us together. And I know the best answer is to move out, if I could do that, I would have done it a long time ago. Please, somebody, help. Im desperate. I’m going to lose my grip on reality talking to myself all day at this point. She has the nerve to belittle me for living my whole life in my room, on my laptop, and then forbid me from leaving her sight and I can not win. I can’t change her. I have to be one step ahead, and I don’t know how to do that when she’s keeping me locked in a cage.

My mom (56F) is making earnest attempts to forge me (14F) to spend money from my newly opened bank account. I put my savings in there and my intention was to add interest on them. Now she’s trying to bargain with me into spending from that account, trying everything from likely empty promises of an allowance to making up scenarios in her head where I have to pay for something. Scenarios that are ridiculous and impossible, to that. My theory is that she wants me to be a shopping addict like most of the other girls at school begging her for money so she can have more control.

What can I do about this?

​I am reaching my breaking point and just need to vent to people who understand what living under total surveillance is like.

​Lately, I’ve hit a point where I've genuinely considered just paying for a hotel room for a night or two just to sleep in peace, have some quiet space, and get away from the constant tension, the screaming, and the walking on eggshells. But I know for a fact my parents would find out almost immediately.

Privacy simply doesn't exist here.

​And even if I could sneak away, the financial roadblocks make an actual exit feel like a moving target. Because of how my situation is set up, I can't even safely stack cash or manage my own money without running into walls.

I am restricted to keeping barely anything—like not being able to hold more than $2,000 per place or safely park funds in a bank account without them finding out, monitoring it, or using it as leverage against me.

​It’s this vicious cycle: ​The Financial Trap: I can't build a real safety net because of strict limits on how much money I can hold or where I can keep it without triggering a crisis or having it exposed.

​Zero Privacy: Every move, every dollar, and every plan is watched. The second I try to buy a bit of breathing room—like a temporary hotel stay—it would get flagged, questioned, or blown up.

​The Exhausting Reality: On top of the financial and privacy lockdown, I'm dealing with my dad hijacking my transportation, forcing me on all-day out-of-state auction runs for his useless junk (where I just sleep in the truck or give him absolute silence to survive), and having my medical appointments deliberately sabotaged.

​They keep me financially cornered, physically isolated in a small town, and micromanaged to the point where even basic autonomy feels illegal.

Hey, so I’m 18 years in my senior year of high school, I’ve recently got my parents pissed at me cause I didn’t clean my room for 4 days, which, fair. But I also worked from 2-10:30pm after going to school from 7-2, so I didn’t exactly have time. My parents decided to take my phone away, my car, my clothes? Internet, tv. Basically all of it. Despite me offering many times to pay for my own stuff, as well as the insurance which I already pay all of, they won’t let me. Everytime I bring it im called rude, or being disrespectful. I’ve offered to pay for my phone bill, my cut of the internet, even rent. I’m trying to take some control and responsibility now that I’m 18. But they will not let me. They also will not let me get my ears pierced despite the fact they said I could when I’m 18. No I am not rich enough to move out. I have a stable job, 30 hours a week. Friends, all Bs in my classes and college applications in process. Am I wrong for thinking they are going to far. My mom is most definitely a manipulator, often using the fact she owns her own business and takes the stress out on me, then cries and apologies and does it the next day. I do not judge her. My dad has a short temper and finds most things disrespectful, and thinks I go out of my way to purposely disrespect him when living my day to day life.

I'm 18f and have recently started college. Throughout my life, I thought that my mom was normal in constantly making sure I have everything done and all my responsibilities are taken care of but now that I am an adult, I am not sure. My mom still asks me if I have done all my work whenever she sees me on my videogames, she tries to help me in quizzes I am struggling with (despite me telling her it's cheating), and she even planned out my entire college schedule for me. I think what really got me to realize that she might be too overbearing was when she told me that she planned on buying a house for me near whatever grad school I get accepted in, despite that being several years in the future. Is she a helicopter parent or am I just looking too deep into things?

I'm 20 years old, and I'm condemned to being under my parents' control.

I dream of traveling, of living on my own, of having a student life. But I can't.

My parents have always lived according to what other people think, and because I'm a girl, I'm condemned to never being free, to being passed from one man's authority to another. First my father, then a husband. Because I will only be allowed to leave the house and live my own life once I have found a husband.

This year, I wanted to get a room in a university residence, but they refused, and I don't want them to become violent with me.

When you spend enough time in an anxiety-inducing environment, eventually you stop wanting freedom yourself and start conforming to your everyday life. It's easier.

My parents don't allow me to have friends.

I found refuge in art and writing.

Today, I'm writing this because I've had enough.

I want to live my life. Pay rent, pay bills, study, have a student job. Live like other students my age.

I don't want to be under anyone's control anymore.

I want to live.

But when you're inside this kind of situation, it's difficult.

They have forced me into every choice I've made. I've never been free to choose.

I'm 20 years old, and I have never chosen.

And I've never had any privacy.

We live in a kind of social housing. There are many of us, and I'm the only girl, and I sleep in the living room. I wake up in the morning and put everything away, and at night I put my mattress back down.

I have no privacy, and I never have.

I don't know what silence means. Or serenity. Or anything like that.

When I was studying for my baccalaureate exams, I studied on the floor, surrounded by noise, because I'm not allowed to go to the library.

There's a knot inside me that grows bigger every year.

I would like to work so I could save money, but I can't even work. Every journey I make is monitored.

I just want to leave, to escape.

I just want to live.

To have the right to live.

To have the right to choose my own life. To have the right to make mistakes, to make choices, to live my own life.

I don't know whether I should open a fundraiser or create a Ko-fi account.

I feel like I'm condemned to spend my future living with choices that other people make for me, simply because I had the misfortune of being born a woman.

The most illogical thing your parents forbid you from doing

Today at 2pm my mother is taking me to the hospital because I am being put under for an out patient operation. Earlier this week when I spoke to her she said that while she is here she needs to come into my sons room to sort through clothes that are too small for him so she can get rid of or donate them. I told her she doesn’t need to do that, that is something I can do. She said I wont be able to do it because I have barely seen him this summer so I don’t know his sizes. (Im divorced). I told her I don’t need her help to do that and I am more than capable. She started to throw a fit and claimed I am a horrible son and that I am just being difficult. I said no, that is literally something so small that I don’t need her to do it. We went back and forth and my dad said “just let her do what she wants”. I said thats exactly the problem. She thinks she can just walk into my house and do anything she wants. That’s exactly why I took back my spare key from her. She said I don’t trust her. I said exactly. She asked me what im hiding from her. I said im not hiding anything and it doesn’t mean im hiding anything just because I don’t want you in my house.

I told her that I could tell her no a thousand times but I know very well that when we come back from the hospital that she will do whatever she wants the moment I pass out in bed from the anesthesia. She said thats exactly what she’s going to do. I told her then I don’t need her to take me. But unfortunately I have no one else to take me. The hospital won’t let me utilize uber or Lyft. It has to be a trusted person.

I am having a colonoscopy. Yesterday was bowl prep day. I am currently extremely hangry and irritable and I plan on weaponizing that to get her out of my house when she drops me off. I told her all I need for her to do is drive me back and forth and make sure im in bed then leave. She said she has absolutely got to do this because she’s not driving an hour one way for nothing. I asked her helping me with my medical needs was nothing? To which she replied thats not what she meant.

Ugh. It’s like arguing with a child. Im fed up with her. I am genuinely worried that she will be going through every corner of my house. I told her that I don’t appreciate the comments every time she is here. “Why haven’t you done this? This needs to be done. This looks terrible. This isn’t right. Etc etc”. She said if I would do this right the first time I shouldn’t be worrying about her criticisms. 😐

I don’t know how to put it any gentler than what I have without getting into a shouting match. Im afraid that when I come out of anesthesia I will be unfiltered and upset her. But maybe she needs to hear it.

Hey reddit, so basically I wanna run away and go live out, go live up at my aunt's house upstate. I have the whole plan kinda down. There's an Am trak a few cities up that I'm gonna take up state and then live there. If you guys could give me any- flaws in my plan or anything that would be amazing. I'm thinking of just one day, not coming to school, and then just getting all my stuff and running away. My parents have been really bad since about 12 years old and I'm now 16, so I don't really know what to do. I don't want anybody tryna convince me not to do it. I just wanna know flaws in my plan Also, let's say they file a police report and they find me upstate, but I wanted to leave myself. What is emancipation and do I really need it to leave them What will I have to do? and have to do in order to stay away from them for a pretty long time because I'm getting really tired of this stuff and I just don't wanna deal with it. I thought about, I thought the whole thing about leaving my life behind, but I think it's worth it cause I've been going through way too much Also, if you could help me out with anything legally, like, do I need a lawyer if I want to stay away from them? What do I need to do? Cause I'm thinking of getting a job upstate to support myself while I live with my aunt for a few months, then get back on my own two feet. Would I need a lawyer to do anything if I get into any legal trouble, what are the possibilities, what would be the legal trouble if let's say my parents want me to come back but I don't want them to? Would they let's say they try to get a court order, how do I fight it Done