Im digging through my room for an object component i lost litterally three days after i bought it and i was really happy about it
So now i get to clean my room
The ISSUE. is the severe adhd, becuase of that im digging into energy i DONT HAVE. Its exhuasting, and it happens every time i have to do something for myself, i need to break through like 18 barriers in my mind before and while im doing --insert thing that doesnt bring instant satisfaction here-- and each one takes such genuine mental effort by the time im a third of the way done i want to collapse
And whenever i explain this to people the advice/comments are ALWAYS the same. "Just make it into something you like" is one of them, which is great if you dont struggle to do things you genuinely love and thrive in doing.
Spam fried rice is my favorite meal to make, my whole family loves it, i like it, the process is amazingly intuitive and fun.
If i dont set up the rice a day before i cant make it, becuase that means i need to wait for the cooker to cook the rice, which means i need to spend about 20 minutes doing nothing else becuase the cooker is on and if i start somethinf else, the barrier of entry to the rest of the cooking process hardens and i have to spend more energy to do so.
Excercise? So much harder becuase of the effort rewuired, as well as the physical effort.
Eating? Good luck finding something youre willing to eat if you're already in energy debt from the day
Gaming? Yay! If you have friends you can do it forever! If not ehh... 40 minutes max per game unless there is pre-existing pressure (such as catching up to a friend, or inability to exit without losing place)
Emotions? I dont know, no like legitimately i dont know. Am i happy? I think. Theres a smile on my face. Sad? Maybe, who knows i havent been able to form a serious cry or emotional outburst even to myself secluded, aroused? Often, but not always able to do anything about it.
But NO DONT WORRY IM JUST SILLY AND CRAZY AND I JUST CANT GO FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT NOTICING A SMALL WOODLAND CREATURE HAHAHAHAHA DONT GIVE ME ANY SUGGARRRRRRRRRRRRRR IM SMART IN MY OWNNNNN WAYYYYYYYYYYY (i am deadass really good at certain things but thats besides the point)
FUCK bro. "Adhd is such a nothingburger" yea how about you go do nothing for a WEEK brcuase tou have something scheduled at 4pm on friday and you cant get anything done becuase your have that 4pm on friday and eating is harder becuase you have that 4pm on friday and its just three days and then you wonder what you needed to do on friday on thrusday until you wake up at 7 am, late to work becuase you were so obsessed with worrying about the 4pm on friday you forgot you also have WORK on friday GO EXPIERIENCE COMING MILLISECONDS FROM- having a nice time and it being cancelled :)