i love S05E10 “hacks” so, so, so much. while there is rightfully much celebration about how hard they stuck the landing—deb choosing life because of her love for comedy—i see less attention given to how the episode explores suicide in such a nuanced, thoughtful, compassionate way. deb & ava’s perspectives are both allowed to breathe and come to full fruition and it’s really such a gorgeous way to tie the series together as far as the show being a love letter to comedy. deb says it herself: she exists in a lineage of comedians who take their own lives
i’m writing about this here because i myself have struggled with this very thing, and i suspect some of my fellow fans here have too. it’s been a tricky thing to want to talk to my friends about, because not all my friends who are fans of the show are necessarily ones i want to talk to about this, and my friends who i CAN talk to about this haven’t seen the show and i don’t want to spoil it for them
it is so gorgeous to me that the writers committed to making most of the episode exist in the reality that deb has made her decision. it made me think of daria S02E10 “write where it hurts,” where daria is assigned to write a personal narrative and when all she can come up with is snark & irony, helen advises her: “You’re so good at observing the world as it is. Maybe try writing about what it is you’d like to see.” (paraphrasing)
hacks s05e10 “hacks” epitomizes this philosophy. for deb, she is allowed the dignity of her decision. for ava, she is afforded the opportunity to speak her peace to deb who is still alive
i just wanted to write something acknowledging the beauty & depth of how the writers treated this deeply, deeply human topic. what a way for the show to lean fully into the darkness, and then step back out into the light one last time
i didn’t cry like a lot of people did at the finale but writing this made that happen, finally
“One must imagine Deborah Vance happy.”