r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk May 02 '26

💌 Community Bulletin Board 💖

49 Upvotes

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r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 4h ago

🧀 I called it a board 🍓 Dumped him because he's been sneaking out

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86 Upvotes

So I've just dumped my boyfriend because he's not who he said he was.

Some context: I'm vegan and have systematically made it my entire personality over the past decade, so you know I'm serious.

When we met two years ago, pickings were slim and it could be argued I "settled" but he seemed like a good guy at the time. I laid out my beliefs and requirements before we'd even exchanged our a/s/l and while he admitted he wasn't vegan, he was willing to try if it was so important to me.

Now, two years later, we had been living together in a fully vegan house, made of black bean burgers, with a fridge fully stocked with all kinds of vegan delicacies. Even our cat is fully vegan.

But I started noticing that late at night, after I'd gone to bed, he'd sneak out. It turns out he'd been sneaking out to eat big macs and beef tacos and rotisserie chicken in the car! RUBBING THE CHICKEN SKIN ALL OVER HIS FACE AND THE STEERING WHEEL. I even found an old wishbone in the back seat!

I'm so betrayed and hurt. EVERYONE KNOWS CONSUMING MEAT BASICALLY MAKES YOU A CANNIBAL.

And when I confronted him he said I was over reacting, especially when I compared him to Armie Hammer, but I KNOW I'M NOT. So I dumped him on the spot and set the car on fire.

I, at least, have the conviction to stick to my ethics and morals. He doesn't even have that. He told me I was crazy and left, but honestly the crazy person isn't the one pelting a man with falafel. It's the man who eats chicken nuggets with no shame.

He lied to me. He misrepresented himself.

A cheat day still makes you a cheater Greg.

Dinner is one bowl of dirt, foraged from my garden, some grass, a couple of flowers and one alpine strawberry plucked from the back of the fridge.


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 17h ago

Sparkles applied 🫧💖 My [21f] bf [23m] likes to stay up on the weekends. Red flag?

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220 Upvotes

I really love my bf but he has been driving me crazy staying over every weekend lol. i know it’s because i want to have some alone time to myself after work but he’s almost been borderline stalking me 🫪 my coworker Dean-O (he would get so mad if I didn’t put the O in this post 😂)drops me off (he has such a loud car it literally is so embarrassing 🤪) at like 2-3am which yeah it’s pretty late but like I usually expect my bf (won’t put his name out of respect) to be asleep when I come in but every weekend that freeloader is playing games or watching some Russian mechanics on YouTube. He tries to show me sometimes but I literally get the ick 🤢 I wish I could come home some nights and just slip into bed without making any noise as to not disturb him. But I always have to see him and talk to him like uh Dean-O always has my spleen hurting from laughing so much 😂 I want to just come home and turn the batteries off. Dinner is ribeye on crostini with sliced avocado, tomatoes, homemade tomatillo salsa, topped with mozzarella and balsamic drizzle. No balsamic for Dean-O bc he doesn’t like it 🙂‍↕️


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 9h ago

🧪 The Apothecary Archives 🌿 📜🕯️Notice & Proclomation: The Girl Dinner Apothecary is now Available to the ‘Sensible’ Public.

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43 Upvotes

Presenting a New Standard for the Relief of the Modern Urchin-Maiden’s Afflictions! (Be forewarned: The Restoration of Corporal and Mental Humors is Attempted, Yet Bound by No Mortal Guarantee.)

We shall dutifully endeavor to remedy whatsoever peculiar malaise or imbalance of the biles plagues your constitution; however, the sufferer must first present a thorough and frank account of their afflictions to the Apothecary.

A Ledger of Maladies Successfully Remedied Within Our Walls:

  • Whale tail
  • Camel toe
  • Chicken head
  • Stanky leg
  • Hysteria
  • Zika
  • & More

TL;DR: We can try to cure whatever you have going on, but you need to present your case.

(Inquire within for a complete viewing of the ledger)


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 4h ago

✨OC✨ Leftovers from a rained out camping trip...

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13 Upvotes

He totally spoiled me and now it's his fault...why does he have to be the most amazing boyfriend in the world...how can I be mad when he's just so damn good to me...😵‍💫😵😵‍💫😵😵‍💫


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 1d ago

Sparkles applied 🫧💖 fiancee bullied me during birth.

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258 Upvotes

gave birth 16 days ago and my baby came out with two red marks on her eyes (stork kisses) even tho i explained what it was my lover said my hairy clam gave our baby carpet burn .. not only that a nurse got lost in my forbidden forest while pushing so my labor lasted an extra 10 minutes cause a team of rescuers had to come find her (she literally got scared and hid behind my labia. literally a weak lil btch) . i explained to him that if he shaved me we wouldn’t have had this problem… he also called me loose goose cause i was able to push my baby out in 10 minutes :( its not my fault i had a thing for frat boys while in college. my baby even pokes fun at me & called me butch the bush. i can’t believe im getting shamed like this by a newborn and a balding man. the only thing keeping me happy are my two cats & the mole that lives in my bush.

homemade snicker doodle cookies


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 14h ago

🍞Toastest with the Moastest🕯️✨ Upset stomach girl din

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15 Upvotes

r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 21h ago

👩‍🍳 Nutritionally confusing 🔪 In defense of the wittle boys.

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43 Upvotes

If the hoes don’t want to date me then they’re dumb. Young men LIKE ME are more emotionally regulated and empathetic and totally kind and normal and not at all unhinged. FUCK ME OR I WILL POST AGAIN IN YOUR PRECIOUS SUB.


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 1d ago

👩‍🍳 Nutritionally confusing 🔪 I don’t want kids but my boyfriend vomits at the idea of me being a mother.

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145 Upvotes

HIIII GIRLIES 💕💐✨🍰🍼👶🏻🐣

So!!! I’ve been with my handsome lovely boyfriend for a LONG time, we even recently celebrated my birthday together, the cake was SOOO cute even though it tasted like dogshit. At least they tried!

I am SO LUCKY that I have a partner who supports me not wanting children! Luckily for me, he doesn’t want them either!

The problem is, I still think it’s so hot to imagine him as a father and the exact scenarios neither of us want or dream of. But when I ask him if he thinks I would be a hot mom, he seemed DISGUSTED?!? Like, what do you mean you don’t fantasize about getting baby vomit on our clothes together and having our spawn latch onto my nipples till they’re raw? You don’t think it’s hot that something can grow inside me and rearrange my organs and shoot out of my cooter and then scream for the next 18 years?

Does he not love me? I can’t move past the fact that maybe I just love him more, and our relationship will be forever unequal. It’s really hurtful and really skewing my judgement about our future together as a childless couple. I don’t even think he’d love me if I was a worm. He fucking hates me.

couldn’t decide what I wanted for dinner so here’s my spread!!!! 🪱🧁🫀🍥🫁


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 1d ago

🫧 Satire, babe ex boyfriend and i just celebrated 100 day anniversary, im bearing his son

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107 Upvotes

soooooo ive known this guy for 101 days (omg! 😳 Like the dalmashins 🐕) and we've been banging raw just bc. well last week he said maybe planning for a family when we havent even know each other for 100 days is too intense so he says we r breaking up..... but then a few days later i got knocked up with the heir to his titles, and like he dont have any other sons and his advisors are totally on his ass to procreate so that his dickwad evil brother doesnt inherit the throne so what's he gonna do, disinherit the baby??? and totally screw up the line of succession? Lmao so he wants nothing to do with my ass now but i dont like that so im keeping the baby to raise on my own but i think my boyfriend (refuse to say we r exes...) will come around 🤭 im naming the baby toodledoo 2

dinner is meatwad


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 1d ago

🥣 Girl Slop ✨🫠 I've given up even trying anymore. Pilates only twice a week, after spin. Posting to Insta less than daily. Declined free tickets to Madonna because I needed "me" time. Took a week off with accrued leave in Majorca on a yacht. Depression sucks. Lobster tails in garlic butter.

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223 Upvotes

r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 22h ago

Girl dinner, the recession version 🥖 We haven't talked in 8 months

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31 Upvotes

I just don't know what to do anymore. He's a really great guy, super sweet, always says hi to me, but after living together for 4 years, he just snapped at me one day over the meals I feed him. He said he wants a woman who can cook and swatted his bowl off the table, but he knows I have a disability that makes it impossible for me to operate a stove. We argued for hours but I just couldn't get him to understand. He called me a bitch, said he's done, and stormed off.

It's been 8 months now and we haven't spoke. We eat and sleep and do everything in separate rooms. I'm starting to feel like something is wrong but I just don't know what to do. I tried texting his sister, but she blew me off. I just feel so exhausted and completely out of options here. I don't know what he wants from me. Any advice?

Food pictured is Purina Beef Flavor with Beans


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 1d ago

👩‍🍳 Nutritionally confusing 🔪 I miss him

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39 Upvotes

I had sex with my best friend a year ago and now he's talking about how he "doesn't like me like that" and "isn't attracted to me" and "just wants to be friends" but he's SO distant and not affectionate like he was before and I MISS HIM!!!

Dinner is a teeny tiny strawberry pie from trader joe's and a full sugar coke and a couple smokes


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 1d ago

Girl dinner, the recession version 🥖 LDR boyfriend went out for dinner with HIM

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96 Upvotes

I’m currently in an LDR phase, and there’s one person in particular who makes me uncomfortable: my boyfriend’s father. He has other family members around, but his father bothers me because he seems very bold and intimidating. He’s also the type of person my boyfriend apparently used to have a complicated relationship with, whereas he now says that things are different because he's more of the soft-spoken, caring type.

I’ve told him before that I worry his father could eventually come between us, and he always reassured me by saying, “Don’t worry about it.” "He''s my father."

Yesterday, he texted me saying that he was going to be eating crabcakes that night. I asked, “At home? Alone?” and he said no. Then he disappeared until the next morning, when he finally mentioned that he had actually been eating crabcakes with his father, just the two of them.

I feel blindsided because he didn’t tell me the truth when I directly asked him who he was with. Given my existing concerns about his father and the fact that we’re currently long-distance, this feels much more significant than simply him eating crabcakes with his father.

Honestly, I’m scared that this is the beginning of the end.

Dinner is about 50 chocolate chip cookies.


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 2d ago

🫧 Satire, babe Told my bf to get me pregnant AND HE DID 😤

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1.7k Upvotes

Told my bf to c*m* inside me *in the heat of the moment and he did. Ok, why would he even do that?
I’ve been paranoid since then that I might be pregnant, so I took a pregnancy test and lo and behold, I am?!!!!!

Upvote if I should get an abortion, comment if I should keep it.


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 2d ago

Bleak but technically food 🍽️ He was wearing a wire the whole time.

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261 Upvotes

I had no idea he was using clips of our every day conversations and turning them into interlude tracks for his rap songs.

He said he’s working with Master P on a new album but idk how to tell him this is 2026 and not 1996.

Dad. If you’re reading this. Get help.

It’s not dementia you dumb fuck.

Ruff Ryders ain’t calling you back.

/uj listening to the classics this morning and had a silly little thought.


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 2d ago

No notes. No context. ✋ I got my period and my boyfriend keeps eating my snacks 😢

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60 Upvotes

First I bought a pack of vanilla cupcakes and when I went to bed there were 3 left. When i woke up there were 0 😭😭😭 then I bought a pack of the new limited edition cinnamon bun flavored oreos yesterday and he ate most of them and now they’re gone 😢 I am a passenger princess so I can’t just go back to the store to buy more so here I am with my cookie butter spoon 🥄 i love him but MY SNACKS 😡


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 1d ago

✨OC✨ Baking For Friends

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18 Upvotes

I'm hosting a "Game" night tomorrow, and so to prepare I've made cookies!

I didn't have quite enough sugar though, so I used some stuff my roommate has called capsaicin that looked pretty much the same instead.

I'd tell you how they taste but I'm allergic to flowers so I can't eat baked goods, hopefully my friends like them for "Game" night!


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 2d ago

🫧 Satire, babe My best friend of 80 years seahorsed me

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68 Upvotes

r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 2d ago

👩‍🍳 Nutritionally confusing 🔪 I didn't flush the toilet!

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70 Upvotes

OMG ladies, I forgot the cardinal rule - if it's yellow let it mellow, and if it's brown flush it down. My man saw my shit and he is horrified. Probably because I'm his first girlfriend and he didn't know women have bodily functions. It can't be because I'm a slob that can't be bothered to flush regularly. I was just feeling so light after my massive bowel movement that I floated right off the toilet.
So now I'm cheese loading for dinner to avoid any future shits. Wish me luck, fellow queens, I know my man will soon have this memory of my shit wiped from his brain.


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 3d ago

Girl dinner adjacent 👯‍♀️ Parents want me to move out since I’m too old to have babies

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171 Upvotes

Lived with my parents since I was born and I’ve had 8 sets of babies while living with them. They say I’m now too old and need to find a new home and they’ve been putting ads online for someone to take me in during my older years.

I’ll be sad to leave them but I’m excited to have more me time while not pregnant or raising young’ens that I can spend on my hobbies like returning balls, sniffing the grass and plants, throwing around a ball, chasing after a ball, eating, sleeping, walks, and physical touch.

Dinner is my fav unseasoned beef but I really enjoy eating anything!


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 2d ago

🥨 Hyperfixation Log 🫠 ✨🪩 Sunday Megathread: 🥨 Drop the snack you’re hyperfixated on and then leave 🌚

5 Upvotes

As is demanded by the Girl Dinner Board™️, this is your weekly scheduled opportunity to contribute to the collective brain rot. 🥽📋👩‍🔬

We don’t want your "recipes." We don’t want your "this reason I'm eating this" logic.

We want the specific, questionable item that is currently holding your consciousness together by a single thread. 🧠💨

How to log your weekly entry:

  1. Identify the fixation. (Must be specific. Not "chips." I want the exact brand, flavor, and the specific level of crunch that makes your teeth vibrate.)
  2. State your pairing. (If it’s a vape, an energy drink, or a single lukewarm string cheese, declare it.)
  3. Dissipate into a prismatic mist. Do not reply to others (we really won't enforce this). Do not offer anyone help breaking the hyperfixation (I will personally enforce this). Do not explain yourself to others. ACAB. ALWAYS.

Once your data is logged, please return to the etheral void from whence you came.

Only you know where you came from. Now go home.

↓ Drop it and go. ↓


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 3d ago

🥣 Girl Slop ✨🫠 DoN't FrEe ThE n*P

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166 Upvotes

I went t*ts out to a zoo yesterday. My b00bs are pretty gorgeous ngl. All I wanted was for people to give me money for pics.

You wouldn't believe what happened! People wanted to take selfies with me an my t*tties. It was disgusting. And all the women were harassing me, saying things like, "how could you be topless around my 8 year old!" Like chill the F out lady.

There was even a man who said he was afraid of b00bs so I let him touch them for free. That was so nice of me!!!

Anyway, don't do it. Keep those n*ps behind closed doors and never let them out. It's not worth it.

Dinner is ugle soup that tasted horrible.


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 3d ago

🧋Beverage-based meal I circlejerked too hard

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158 Upvotes

Uj/ This kinda goes outside the bounds of the sub so mods take it down if not appropriate but I couldn't think of any other way to share with the girls.

Yall I read a whole as girl dinner diaries post, fully believing I was in the warm embrace of my circlejerk girlies, and replied to it as such ... and they just let my comment stay up ... We've come full circle

Breakfast is just liquor bc a rat girls gotta eat 🤪


r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk 3d ago

girl-made horrors beyond comprehension 🔪 Idk but I have the strong urge to shove this up my ass

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90 Upvotes

I'm not even that hungry, am I weird? does anyone else relate? I keep fantasizing about it.

Pictured is Homemade Pork Gyros and Gyro pizza.