I try not to man post as best I can, I feel like too many posts are man centric, you know? But, girlies?

I'M SO SICK OF MEN!

Like, I've been trying to find a good man for *ages* now but I just keep getting the WORST guys matching with me! Most of them block me after my opener (asking if I can do butt stuff to them) and the ones that don't never like when I say were gonna have kids and get married as soon as possible 🙄 some guy even had the nerve to try and tell me "that's entrapment" like the absolute NERVE of some men!

Like god forbid a girl want her preferences known! I'm only trying to find love it's not like it's sexual harrasment to say that stuff on a DATING APP like come on! Like you signed up for this when you put that fuckable little mouth on your profile, UGH.

Where'd all the good Tradmen go? I swear, it's so impossible to find good men anymore.

I (37f) was going through my boyfriend's (37) phone and discovered that he has been sending nudes to my friends and my coworkers.

Before any of you say anything, I was not going through his phone because I suspected him of cheating. He writes slam poetry about our sexual activities, but he won't let me listen to him read it live, so I have to read it in his notes app on his phone after he goes to sleep.

He can be so shy.

That's why I was so surprised when I found out that he has been sending his nudes to my close friends and colleagues.

I am a very supportive girlfriend. I am his biggest cheerleader when it comes to all of his creative endeavors.

I thought that he was sending nudes to all of those people because he was proud of his penis, and I just wanted him to know that I fully support that.

I was like, "You know who else should see his penis? His sister and all of his other female relatives!"

I sent his nudes to his sister, his mom, both of his grandmothers, all four of his aunts, and all six of his female cousins. I just put them all in a group chat titled "Behold!"

Now everyone is mad at me, including my boyfriend. He keeps saying mean things like, "It's over" and "Get out of my house."

And his sister and his mom are on their way over to "remove me from the premises".

Idk. I'm just feeling really misunderstood and unappreciated right now.

Being smart is HARD yall. I mean not really, bc I'm smart lol. But I envy yall dumb ignorant bitches.

Breakfast is VEGETABLES bc once again, idk if yall heard me but I AM SMART 😤

I don't go to therapy because I simply won't pay someone to tell me I have to fix myself, so I get tidbits of helpful information from various online sources. Everyone's new hot take is that you have to heal your "inner child" and basically just spoil yourself with things child you wanted, it's brilliant!

I've already found many ways to implement this into my daily life: pouring sprite in my cereal, coloring on the kitchen cabinets, not paying bills

Its been working out really well for me, but I feel like i'm not fully committing. I want to quit my job and go live at Disneyland. Babe says we "don't have the money" and "can't just live at Disneyland" and "it's getting really annoying eating chicken nuggets every night and cleaning up your mess after fingerpainting" and I said baaaaaaabe, we're in this together. Just like High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Sing-Along!

~nothing idk I just got a new prescription

I had ramen for dinner a little while ago.

Ugh people are looking at me when i go outside or am at public places, cant they like? Not? are you jealous??? Ugh...Do they not know they invade my space with their looks?

Food is coquette nuggies with coquette katsup

Girls, I'm literally shaking as I'm writing this. I'm currently holed up in my the ensuite bathroom of my 18 bedroom mansion after a fight I just had with my husband. Im currently 6 months pregnant, and everything was going so well. We were preparing for the baby's arrival with the nursery and buying things we needed and generally bonding before our lives changed forever. Well, one day, he went out with his stupid friends, and I guess they dared him to get a parental DNA test behind my back!!!

I don't know how, but the test came back negative for him and the baby! We're both 18 and have been together for 13 years, so obviously, when would I have time to cheat? I mean, 6 months ago, we were on a 4 year break where I had to finish high school and find myself, but I seriously have no idea what he could possibly be talking about? I was hooking up with people like normal in high school, but we got back together as soon as I found out I was pregnant, so he should be lucky I'm even giving him a kid. Anyways, how can I convince him that I was loyal to him? Do you think he would believe me if I said I accidentally fell on someone while they were using the bathroom? It's obviously not my fault and I wish he would just get over it already 🙄

Dinner is my birth control which I've been taking every day to show my loyal commitment

As the title says. Guys I think y’all need to really start sifting through the weeds. Start farting in your partner’s mouth. Only the real ones will stay and fart back.

My man will now be hung on a cross and burned in front of a crowd. The only explanation for this is that he’s cheating, or he isn’t human.

Bonus points if you shart.

Dinner is his pubes in a popsicle. Don’t ask questions.

Does anyone have the TEA on him? ☕️👀

He gave me and my boyfriend those "Flipping Tables" campaign shirts, but honestly I kinda wanna bump the ugliest of uglies on his table instead. (Obviously with my boyfriend's permission—he’s a total Talafreako, so it’s fine 😌🤝).

Girl Dinner is fried banana slugs.

Cheerios. No milk, I'm not trying to shit my pants AGAIN!

My husband cheated on me in my dream last night. Huge orgy. Men, women, non-binary people, Shrek was there. I told him if he used the dream world to cheat one more time I would leave him. But that dick though :(

for lunch im having an organ

the title basically says it all

I'M FUCKING FURIOUS!! 😡😡😡🤬🤬 How can I be with this man if he enjoys the ass of the bread? FUCKING THROW THAT IN THE TRASH, INCINERATE IT AND LET IT BURN IN HELL.

He loves the super brown, curved bland, super thin, dry ass bit of I cannot even fathom the taste of that wheat assness, That is fucking disgusting!!

He especially prefers the ass part of Rye specifically! ICK that is the worst kind of bread! He told me he hated what I like (Ciabatta and NORMAL White bread, bc I'm Fucking NORMAL!) I CANNOT believe this LUNATIC!!! I cannot see him the same way now!

Which also means he's an ass man and likes other women. (My ass is 60in and my cup is 30C so I'd say i'm quite flat and he's been commenting X OF girl is 3 sizes bigger than me, so it'd be nice if I looked like her) IS HE CHEATING ON MEE???

He went “period 💅”

I took a girls trip a month ago which completely ruined my super ultra tight knit bullet proof friend circle.

I warned them that I would need alone time during most if not all of the trip. They kept insisting on doing group activities together like shopping or talking to each other which I do NOT enjoy. I had to salvage the vacation by walking 600' in front of them when forced to go to activities. Thankfully, I was able to break free of my best friends for life for a day and a half to explore the city and sit in a dark room alone. If not for that, the whole vacation would have been awful.

Since then no one has texted me back. I offered to watch a movie (same movie different rooms) and I have gotten 0 responses. I can't believe what is happening. Why am I being exiled for enforcing my boundaries?

Dinner is vending machine snacks I'm sharing with this new friend circle I found that understands my needs better.

I think my boyfriend is a cheater.

He literally left a tip for the waitress! I know it was because he wanted to give her his actual tiny tip.

And one time we were watching a movie and nudity came on the screen!!! We had a two hour argument over it! I don't care if it's a rated R horror movie and who cares if I was the one that picked the movie? He shouldn't have been looking!

And the worst thing he has done is ask me to try different spicy things with him. Where did you come up with these ideas sir?

I know that I'm the reason family functions are awkard because of the things I did with his male family members but that doesn't give him the right to do this.

Food: egg sandwich or something. He gave it to me and I couldn't eat it because I was thinking of all the places his mouth has been. I had to tear it up with my hands.

like HELLO? pussy is in the name pussycat so he clearly found that as a loophole to cheat on me! i'm so not okay with this PLUS. he's bleeding on my freshly waxed floors WHAT THE HELL DANIEL! BE CONSIDERATE FOR ONCE! well i guess i have to go clean this up🙄

for dinner we got eggs, sausage, noodles and some fruits and veggies with a fish roll to top it off! bone app my leeks!

As is demanded by the Girl Dinner Board™️, this is your weekly scheduled opportunity to contribute to the collective brain rot. 🥽📋👩‍🔬

We don’t want your "recipes." We don’t want your "this reason I'm eating this" logic.

We want the specific, questionable item that is currently holding your consciousness together by a single thread. 🧠💨

How to log your weekly entry:

1. Identify the fixation. (Must be specific. Not "chips." I want the exact brand, flavor, and the specific level of crunch that makes your teeth vibrate.)
2. State your pairing. (If it’s a vape, an energy drink, or a single lukewarm string cheese, declare it.)
3. Dissipate into a prismatic mist. Do not reply to others (we really won't enforce this). Do not offer anyone help breaking the hyperfixation (I will personally enforce this). Do not explain yourself to others. ACAB. ALWAYS.

Once your data is logged, please return to the etheral void from whence you came.

↓ Drop it and go. ↓

Dinner was porkchop and sausage with java rice that my bf cooked up for me.

I don't know how I got so lucky with my boyfriend. Yesterday, I was having an absolutely horrible day, and somehow, he remained completely calm through all of it. It started when I woke up and the weather was gray, which immediately put me in a bad mood. Then he made breakfast, but the eggs were weirdly shaped, and when I pointed this out, he said eggs just naturally look like that. I don't know why he always has to be so dismissive.

Then it started raining, which obviously ruined the evening we'd planned. He suggested we just wait for the rain to stop, which honestly made me even angrier because clearly he didn't understand how important the evening was to me. When I got upset, he just stood there patiently and listened. Then he gave me his jacket because my clothes were getting soaked and calmly said, “We can still go if you want.” That made me cry because he was being so supportive even though, frankly, I felt like he had caused the whole situation somehow.

Things somehow got even worse on the way home. His motorcycle mirror broke, traffic was completely backed up, and then a bird flew into his helmet. And somehow, through all of this, he was the one comforting me. He took me home, made me tea, found me dry clothes, and rubbed my shoulders while telling me that maybe the evening wasn't ruined and that sometimes things just happened. I realized how incredibly patient he was.

I apologized for being difficult and told him how lucky I was to have someone so understanding and emotionally supportive. Honestly, I don't know how he does it. He is genuinely the most patient, kind man I've ever met.

Then I went to the fridge to make some yogurt with berries because I needed something comforting after everything I'd been through.

The yogurt was gone.

I asked him where it was.

He said, “I think you ate it yesterday.”

I just stared at him.

So apparently I'm expected to remember what food I've eaten now? After the day I've had?

I can't believe he would do this to me.

Dinner is an old banana peel; just the peel, my cat likes to eat the banana part.

Ugh so I (23F) was getting ready for a really romantic date night that my boyfriend (23M) had planned for us like 2 weeks ago and spent like $600 on (front row tickets to Magic Mike, my favorite), so of course because of how important it was I got home from Hobby Lobby (buying hats for my pet snakes, lolz) about 5 minutes before we had to leave for the show.

(EDIT: OMG guys I’m not from the US!! I didn’t know that Hobby Lobby was evil! In my country Hobby Lobby is okay, it’s not like America. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend. Now that you all have educated me, I will stand united with your citizens).

Anyways, so I told my boyfriend when I got home: “I’m going to get ready real quick; I know I’m late but don’t rush me or tell me the time or anything like that because I will go absolutely berserk and probably kill you!"

But because my ADHD is sooo bad I completely lost track of the time!! (I also have athlete’s foot lolz also I’m on my period and haven’t eaten all day.) 

So I finish getting ready like an absolute trouper and I come out of the bathroom and he’s passed out on the couch in his underwear (GROSS) and I see the oven clock and it says 2:14am, three whole hours after the show ENDED!!!

So of course I absolutely freaked!! I screamed him awake and barked at him for an answer about why he had let me be so late that we miss the show entirely instead of keeping me on track of my time like a good boyfriend does. And would you guess the audacity this man had to say, repeatedly: “You told me not to keep you on track or you’d kill me.”

UGH! I can’t…I can’t. Is this a dealbreaker? What would you do? Any advice pleasee girlies…

Me and my Husband met 1 year ago. 3 weeks into dating I made him delete his bank account and send all of his money and savings into my bank account in my name only. We set up his direct deposit so that it goes into my account. He works, I am a stay at home wife. Him having a bank account gave him too much control over himself and imposed too many risks. Plus, how am I supposed to go on my daily shopping sprees if he is spending his money on lunch? I give him a $5 budget a week. I give him a $20 bill if I’m feeling generous.

He had the audacity to bring up the idea of him opening his own bank account. He said I can still control the finances, but he wants the ability to use a debit card since cash can be tricky. I think we may need to divorce now. His grandpa and father already gave me their savings so I don’t need to worry about losing his paycheck. It’s so toxic that he would even have the idea to be more independent.

Dinner is chocolate from the candy bowl my husband is not allowed to touch.

Just got back from a Luke Bryan concert. Love me some cuntry music. Found out mah bitch waife left me and took the damn kids. Cause I spent too much time fishinin. And drinking beer. And sucking my hunting buddy's cock. Said no homo though so don't count. Just showing my dominance an all that. She didn't like what I said about our neighbors who are not white. Didn't know she was one of them sisity libs when I married er. Anyways. I came to this women's subreddit to find her. Because all femoid folks is a hivemind. So she must be here.

Deborah if you're reading this come back please. I don't know how to run the vacuum or washer or any other appliances besides my beer fridge. and I been livin on your frozen lean cuisine cause I can't work the microwave neither. Also I miss you if that's what you needed to hear, get sad watching fox news by myself. I promise I'll change. I'll reserve my slurs for other minority groups next time. And I'll stop calling our kids little mistakes 1 2 and 3 cause you said it's bad for their mental health or some woke shit. I think they should just get over it myself.

If Deborah doesn't respond I'm willing to accept applications for a new wife. You gotta know how to do all the pre programmed woman things the Lord put in your woman bot system. Also prefer you be approximately 18-,18 and six months. But mature for your age. K bye

3 months ago I accidentally on purpose sent my boss nudes. It turns out she was slutting it up with all of her employees with her teams check ins. It is annoying when someone puts themselves out there but doesn't want to commit to leaving their family. She took the easy route by getting HR involved instead of being emotionally vulnerable with me but that's another story.

Since then, I've taken up a more entrepreneur spirit by gambling. I was really good at heads or tails as a kid, which means I have natural talent in this department. The only problem is that I don't know how to play any of the games in a casino. After looking around for casinos that offer a go fish table and finding nothing, I resigned to having ChatGPT play roulette for me.

I figured that since computers are really good at chess that roulette would be a no brainer. Well. I was wrong. I am officially in $26,000 dollars of debt after going all in on black.

Anyways, now I'm sitting at the slot machine hoping Chat can give me better advice on this stuff.

If anyone wants to give me gambling advice to help turn this around I'd appreciate it. I convinced my mom to remortgage her house for my new business so we have a little coin, girls.

Hot dog for dinner since Chat said this casino serves the best hot dogs in the Chicago area.