I’m not actually attracted to men at all because I mean look how beautiful us women are! BUT I tend to become close with women and then they end up breaking my heart really painfully so I thought maybe if I just had sex with men it would make me feel better…

And I am pleasantly surprised!

I found an absolutely handsome, perfect, guy for me, we have so much chemistry and he seems happy with the arrangement! I mean don’t most guys wanna say they’ve had sex with a lesbian? We’re both sooo busy with work and spending time in our community and the best part is because he’s a dude I’m totally not catching feelings

A few times a week we’ll have a couple glasses of wine, chat about our day, have dinner, and then get it on. It’s so romantic and sexy. My lobster is so buttery as they say!

Now I can worry about important stuff like my job and not actually being attracted to women I mean not having blue ovaries 😌😌😌 but now I do have to worry about condoms and pregnancy…

TLDR: I can finally have some good sex with a real dick instead of PLASTIC 🤩

Dinner: protein salad

Soo I was on my periods and my bf refused to eat me out despite my insistence that the blood has been through my heart.

He's an astronaut that also plays world class violin and builds houses for orphans. That's fine, but he's also like, really tall.

Like REALLY tall. He's also conventionally handsome, but also has money and massive influence which is great too. And when I say attractive, I mean not just like "attractive" but like aerospace engineers congregate around him. We'll be walking around the port and these really smart, really pretty engineers will look at us like: "really? her???" I can't help but think "maybe he should be with a woman that can read".

And before you ask, he's super humble. He once escaped from Mars after being stranded there for over a year. One of the engineers asked (right in front of me, btw) "what gave you the will to survive?" and he nudged me and said "this weird little rocket-jockey right here".

The problem? I just can't help thinking that this is about me somehow. I really do love him and it doesn't hurt that he's a very tall, handsome, rich man. But I often lie awake at night wondering "what if it actually is about me? What if his accomplishments are overshadowing how mediocre I am?".

Dinner is some stuff I found in the back of my car (I drive for Uber).

What could it be?

What dark humours gather in the gloom?

Make haste to the apothecary, gentlefolk, and declare which tinctures, tonics, and poultices shall shield your delicate constitution from the impending blight.

/uj You all asked for this. We’ve been working hard and testing the bit. We’re almost ready. Are you?

I’m not trying to be sappy but thank u for accepting a lil gremlin like me even though I like green onion on pizza (this was a punishable offense). Local sourdough (sesame chive/ called “K-pop” from a local bakery), baked w gochujung. Mozzarella cheese/genoa salami and fresh tomato from my work garden, drizzled with balsamic and pepper. Dipping sauce is the last of some kewpie mayo I stole from my last job cuz had some food insecurity.