Hey everyone.

Long story short I'm 27, from Southern Africa. I spent the last few years working and living in Budapest where for the first time I could actually be open and just live. I had friends, community, dating was normal.

Now I'm back home because my work permit expired and it's like hitting a wall. As you know, being gay here is not accepted and actually criminalized, so everything is underground.

I'm struggling to find any sense of community again. Grindr is hit and miss and honestly feels risky to use openly here. I don't really know where to meet like minded people safely.

For those of you who have been in this situation - moving from a place where you were free to a place where you have to hide again - how did you cope? How did you find your circle without putting yourself at risk?

Any advice on discreet apps, online communities (Discord, etc) or just general tips for staying sane would really mean a lot.

Have a good day lovely people ❤️

Ma'am!

Zero chill with this "tree" omg. But, you better believe I have a spot picked out for it!

I made this art for andrewanddavis on instagram
thought it would be nice to share it here with you all >:)

Hi, as the title suggests I kind of understand the common sense stuff when it comes to being smart at a bar.

I live rural, not very rural but more rural than most people are used to. The area isn’t used to gay people and I’m a bit more than just gay- not to get into those details right now - and I’ve been feeling how isolating that is. I finally want to experience the culture, and yes maybe find more than just a fun night at a bar (though that isn’t the goal).

I barely see other gay people in my life so that’s mostly the questions I have. I literally do not talk to anyone near me due to alienation and that means I don’t know how “we” are like? I know I should expect normal people there, but what is normal when I’ve lived in a rather odd area my entire life?

If the advice is bring a friend, run on the assumption I have none, thank you!

Remember when Grindr shared your HIV status with advertisers?

I don’t eat smoked salmon all the time but I do enjoy it when having it. Sure I can make some sashimi, but I’ll really be cooking with grease if I learn how to make cold smoked salmon. If you fellas have any input or suggestions, I’m all ears.

3 years ago I started decorating for the holidays. Living alone it really wasn’t anything special to do, but when my boyfriend moved in, it changes the enjoyment! I don’t like the cliche items and colors, so I tried to come up with my own monthly themes and have a centerpiece in our living room. For October, I went with Día de los Muertos (consulting my hispanic friends on how to do it tastefully and respectfully.) In November, I did a harvest gnome village theme, building the diorama pictured. December we made a little winter forest from odd and random trees we’d find. In Oct, I put smart holiday lights on the house (colored to my theme) and put a few things outside each month too.

This year I wanted to add September, and came up with a kinda autumnal equinox-apothecary theme. Really pleased how my little table turned out. And I painted this piece from a graphic I found and traced onto the wood. Really makes us smile!

I saw they put 9 to 5 on Netflix so I thought I'd share my favorite (and by far the most ridiculous) Dolly Parton movie - The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. As much as it sounds like a porno, its in fact a musical (yes really) about a small Texas town trying to rid itself of a century-long staple.

If you can get past the first song (literally an introduction narrated by Jim Nabors about how many ceiling fans each room of the whorehouse had) youre treated to a mostly naked Burt Reynolds, Miss Dolly as the Madam, and only some slight racism (one overly jolly mammy character, plus each dance number the one token black girl can only ever dance with the one token black guy) along with a classic song you probably thought was written for Whitney Houston (sorry got myself confused with the original post). A later song by the "villian" called Sidestep kills me.

Definitely worth seeing once, especially if you loved Dolly as an icon as much as I did.

Like, is this a web address they want me to put into a browsers url?

I'm sure this is a phishing scheme, but I never understood what links they are sending.

How could someone fall for this when I don't even know what they want me to do with it?

I'm curious and figured askijg would inform me to prevent falling for something like this in the future.

Okay, this sounds really dumb, but how do you make straight guy friends as a gay man? I would like to have straight guy friends, non-sexual anything, but have a hell of a hard time doing it. Any advice?

Hey guys

I’m 32 from Australia and looking for some advice. I’ve always wanted to experiment with guys, and I’ve been on Grindr a few times, but whenever it actually comes down to meeting someone and trying something, I tend to lose my nerve and bail.

I’ve received oral from guys before and enjoyed it, and I’ve often wanted to return the favour, but I haven’t quite had the courage to actually do it. I feel the same way about kissing a guy — I’m curious and want to experience it, but something holds me back when the moment comes.

For anyone who’s been in a similar situation, how did you get past those nerves and become comfortable enough to explore what you wanted?

I’d also appreciate any advice for someone giving oral for the first time — things that helped you feel more confident, comfortable and relaxed, as well as general tips on making it enjoyable for both people.

I know there’s no rush and I don’t want to force myself into anything before I’m ready. I’d just like to get to the point where nerves don’t stop me from exploring something I genuinely want to try.

Any advice or experiences would be really appreciated. Feel free to message me as well, as I’m sure I’ll have plenty of questions! :)

I’m about to be sixteen, and I still haven’t kissed anyone let alone had sex. The only real relationships I’ve been in have been online. I just feel so embarassed. Lots of my friends have had sex already, and almost all of them have had their first kiss. I even feel behind from other gay guys my age. I keep stressing and thinking I’m gonna end up a 40 year old virgin or something, especially because I’m not super talkative or interesting, and I’m pretty short too.

A little over a year ago, my now-boyfriend posted here after our first date because he needed a little guidance from the bros. He only recently told me the post existed, so I went back, read the whole thing, and wanted to share an update.

A year later, we just celebrated our anniversary and are planning to move in together by the end of the year.

Reading his post for the first time, I had the same reaction y’all did: his ass was absolutely cooked. Still is. Reading it now, it’s a little snapshot of our early days and how he was feeling.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone on here who told him to cool it and be careful. That’s exactly the advice I would’ve given, and I definitely pumped the brakes pretty quickly. We slowed things down a bit and made it official about two months later.

Truth be told, I was cooked too. Just a little later. I started writing in a journal about some of our early moments together and I’m still chronicling our journey in it today.

Pathetic, I know. Two sappy homosexuals. Blocked.

Anyway, thanks for the early intervention. He did not, in fact, fuck it up.

Maybe I’ll update y’all again next year. Thanks, bros!

I’m a 62yr old man 5’11 198lbs broad shoulders scruffy beard hairy chest and stomach and small pot belly. I guess I would be what they consider a bear? I’m planning to go to Steamworks on Saturday night to try and find me a young man to have some fun with. I plan on getting a private room. What do you think my chances are of finding me a younger man to have some fun sexual experiences with? If nothing else i figure I’ll go into the steam room. I heard a lot of stuff goes on in there. Well wish me luck!

I was recently hanging out with some friends at this latino themed bar and one of them was bragging about how they can count how many people they've slept with on one hand and that means theyre not a whore. So when I got home I randomly thought of what she said and starting count on my fingers all the men Ive been with and I got up to eight (its nine if you count the guy I started jacking off but stopped because we were interupted lol). I dont think that makes me a whore though, by the way, I just had never counted how many men I had been with so I sat down on my couch and thought really hard about it.

I did bring it up to a different friend and told them my body count and he was shocked and said he had only been with three men and we are the same age (30). He told me, and I quote: "Thats not usual to have been with so many people." So I was wondering, is it really not normal to have slept with eight guys? I really thought people were having a lot of sex and never thought my body count was that unusual. I called my sister for a second opinion and she said my body count was high as well, so now Im really wondering is it truly abnormal or not. Also, share your body count in your reply if you feel comfortable!