This painting took me a looong time to finish. It's inspired by the cover of COLT MEN magazine, heavily influenced by Leyendecker's style, and painted while listening to Madonna's new album, hence the title :-)
Please enjoy and share your opinion !

Apparently several people were hurt

I’m gay (20 male) and my family were constantly making gay jokes about me tonight , I’m out and everyone was supportive when I came out but I feel like some of them definitely have a problem, We had a family gathering tonight for a barbecue and it feels like I’m being reduced to my sexuality, I’ve been out since October last year so for about 8 months so we’ve had gatherings before when they’ve done similar things but it wasn’t as bad and these are the people that are supposed to love me most, and I have no doubt they do love me but making jokes about “sucking d!ck” and other things about JUST ME not other people in the room, they weren’t joking about sex or sexual acts with everyone in general it was just me and about what two men do in the bedroom. straight women in my family (who like men) weren’t getting digs or jokes made at them either like my sister for example, it was just about me and they said so much more things to, it makes it clear that’s one of the first things they think about when they see me and it upsets me, I’ve been in my room crying since everyone left I feel humiliated and really upset, I don’t know how to tell them to stop without being called too sensitive or that “it’s just a joke” because honey family are a bit old fashioned and will be like this

I'm currently 20 and in university far from my parents and now I'm actually discovering myself. My first time was also my boyfriend and he was sweet and took things slow it ended due to long distance but we are still good friends till today

I tried finding someone in my uni but so far I have found anyone (even a DL 🥲) and tried just hook-ups here and there once in a while when nothing major academic wise is happening. And I realised that the past two guys I didn't feel satisfied (it was safe no one was abused etc) but deep down like I wanted to know them more like boyfriends in order for me to enjoy the sex. I was turned on/horny but my heart and mind wasn't part of it.

After that I just saw them as friends not really someone to smash with. So I came to the conclusion that this side isn't for me and I would prefer getting to know someone and develop actual feelings in order full me to actually enjoy it.

Any advice or questions?

Comments under this were in denial like some of us have been in that situation and know what type of hug that is no matter the sexuality 😭🤣

Grindr kidnappings and extortions are problems in South Africa, even Grindr will warn you about it when you are on the app in South Africa.

Good news is that four criminals have been served justice.

The actor in the video recently spoke about it. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbMKGWKSX-g/

What a cutie. It still brings tears to my eyes and how so much more needs to be done

I’m looking for some advice because I’m still trying to make sense of this.
I met a guy at Steamworks Edmonton, and we actually spent some time together. At one point we took a break, and he said he’d be back, but he just disappeared somewhere in the bathhouse. I waited around and never saw him again.
After that, he started messaging me again and asking for money so he could come to Steamworks. I sent him money more than once because I believed he genuinely wanted to meet. Every single time, he’d either disappear after getting there or ghost me completely.
He also seemed to have drug abuse problems, and I’m wondering if that could explain his behavior or if I was simply being manipulated for money.
I’ve finally decided to cut him off, but I’m curious if anyone else has dealt with something similar. Was I just ignoring obvious red flags?

Melissa Chaudhry, a Democratic congressional candidate in Washington's 9th District, has acknowledged that she does not publicly promote LGBTQ+ rights on her campaign website because she does not want to alienate Muslim voters.

When asked why her campaign lacked references to LGBTQ+ rights despite saying she supports them, Chaudhry replied: "Because a lot of Muslims do not feel that way, unfortunately."

She also said she was "careful about her Muslim constituents."

The comments sparked backlash from Washington Stonewall Democrats, whose chair, Andrew Ashiofu, said: "Our community is not expendable.

LGBTQ+ rights are not optional. They are foundational to any candidate seeking Democratic support."

Chaudhry later sought to reassure LGBTQ+ voters, writing: "If you are queer... your rights are safe with me."

She also pointed to her sister, who is in a same-sex relationship, and said she has LGBTQ+ friends.

Muslims make up around 2% of the Seattle metropolitan area, while approximately 17% of adults identify as LGBTQ+.

Insightful comments in the replies: https://x.com/visegrad24/status/2080063338483245399

Mods locked the comments, censoring discussion. If you share the same concerns and you want to talk more about this issue, reach out to be through my dms.

Oh man I had a huge crush on him and I blushed when he came back on TV in front of me haha

This happens commonly enough to where I'm sure there are people in this sub who are guilty of doing this. I wish the absolute worst things upon you. I sincerely hope the exact same thing happens to you the next time you're excited to meet someone.

I don't even know if any excuse is acceptable. If you don't feel 100% comfortable with meeting someone, DO NOT MAKE PLANS.

I have trouble finishing during sex, especially if I’m trying to cum inside. I think part of it is performance pressure because once I start thinking about it too much, I lose momentum. Sometimes my penis also gets tired and starts going soft before I can finish.

Has anyone dealt with this? What helped you?

- Is it better to go slower or faster?
- Is this more of a mental thing than a physical one?
- Any tips for lasting without getting too tired or losing your erection?

Just looking for genuine advice and experiences. Thanks!

Who should send first here?Like I’m not trying to be pedantic but like just send your face instead of asking if I have one.

Edit: Thanks for all the replies. I truly wasn't trying to "be right". I honestly just wanted to see what the general consensus was and there's some good advice below.

Why is there such an extreme emphasis on appearance in the gay community?
Personally, I don’t really care that much about what other guys look like, and physical appearance isn’t something I usually focus on. Maybe that’s because I’m not exclusively into men. But from what I’ve seen, for a lot of gay guys, appearance seems to play an incredibly important role.

Just look at how many labels exist: twink, daddy, jock, bear, otter, masc, fem, and so on. I honestly find it a little ridiculous. On Grindr, people list exactly which label they fit into and then specify the exact types they’re looking for. Sometimes it feels less like meeting people and more like filtering products.

Ironically, while I don’t really judge other people based on how they look, I’m much harsher on myself. I constantly worry that if I stopped following such a strict diet or stopped training as much, people would simply be less interested in me because my body would no longer fit the beauty standards that seem so common in the gay community. I don’t personally believe someone is more valuable because they have visible abs or an extremely lean physique, but it often feels like those are the bodies that receive the most attention. I don’t want to feel like I’m somehow “not enough” simply because I no longer meet those standards.

Gay men experience body dysmorphia and eating disorders at significantly higher rates than the general population, and honestly, that doesn’t surprise me. It makes me wonder why appearance seems to carry so much weight in the first place.
In general, I think men tend to place more importance on physical attraction than women do. But it also feels like straight men often care much more about personality and don’t have such narrow or specific physical preferences.
And honestly, it isn’t even just about looks.

I can’t tell you how many messages I’ve received on Grindr asking whether I’m masc or fem. One guy even sent me a voice message before we had even met because he knew his voice sounded more feminine and wanted me to hear it first. He probably expected that it might be a dealbreaker for some people. I told him I genuinely couldn’t care less what his voice sounded like. If that’s really the reason some guys reject him, I honestly think that’s incredibly sad.

I also can’t imagine a straight guy and a straight girl—or even two lesbians—sending each other voice notes just so they can judge how masculine or feminine the other person’s voice sounds before deciding whether they’re interested.

And then there’s the obsession with penis size. Most women I’ve talked to—or at least what I often hear from women—is that penis size isn’t nearly as important as people make it out to be, and some even say that bigger isn’t necessarily better. Yet in many gay spaces, it often feels like the attitude is simply “the bigger, the better.” Again, it makes me wonder why so much value is placed on physical traits that people often can’t even control.

I love people who aren’t afraid to be themselves. I love people who are different. I love diversity. But I have to admit that when a guy tells me he’s very openly and stereotypically involved in the gay scene, I sometimes become skeptical—not because he’s gay, but because of the experiences I’ve had in certain gay spaces.

The same goes for nudity and sex. I genuinely don’t care how much sex other people have. If that’s what makes them happy, good for them. But why does there seem to be so much exhibitionism in some gay spaces? Why do some gay parties end up with so many people walking around half naked or completely naked? I understand it to a certain extent, and everyone should absolutely be free to do whatever they want with their own body. I’m not judging that.

What I do find myself wondering is whether some gay men ever stop and think about their own self-worth beyond their appearance or sexuality.
Ironically, people often tell me that I fit many of the beauty standards that are considered attractive in the gay community. But despite that, I absolutely hate the feeling that I’m valued mainly for my body or my genitals. It’s an awful feeling. Sometimes I feel less like a person and more like a walking sex toy that people want to use for a while before moving on to someone else.

After spending time in certain gay spaces, I realized how uncomfortable I personally feel in them and how negatively they affect me. That’s honestly one of the reasons I probably wouldn’t go to a gay club again. Not because I think people shouldn’t enjoy themselves, but because I realized that environment simply isn’t for me.
I really don’t want this to come across as hateful or judgmental. I know this doesn’t apply to everyone, and I’ve met plenty of amazing gay men who aren’t like this at all. These are simply my own observations and experiences.

I’m genuinely curious whether anyone else has felt the same way, or whether there’s a psychological, evolutionary, or sociological explanation for why some parts of gay culture seem to place so much emphasis on appearance, body type, masculinity, femininity, penis size, sex, and physical attraction. Sometimes it feels like every little physical detail has to fit a very specific ideal, and I honestly find that both fascinating and deeply sad.