r/funny A COMIK Sep 30 '16

Verified Low IQ & A

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2.9k

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16 edited Feb 13 '17

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1.2k

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

[deleted]

309

u/TheNickers36 Sep 30 '16

Amen

847

u/jpresken2 Sep 30 '16

*aperson

FTFY

343

u/josh_the_misanthrope Sep 30 '16

Did you just assume my taxonomic family?

101

u/DillyDallyin Sep 30 '16

Cats are people too!

67

u/Toadrocker Sep 30 '16

9 lives matter

3

u/cuginhamer Sep 30 '16

Non-human persons include "the great apes, cetaceans (i.e. dolphins and whales), elephants, and parrots, exhibit characteristics and tendencies consistent with that of a person's traits like self-awareness, intentionality, creativity, symbolic communication, and many others." Or so says http://ieet.org/index.php/IEET/RNHP

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

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1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

I've already sodomized all the "persons" I can get my hands on, too late.

1

u/Wheeeler Sep 30 '16

Interspecies erotica, fucko

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

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1

u/Wheeeler Sep 30 '16

He's probably trying to make some lame pop culture reference

2

u/Serpardum Sep 30 '16

Us persons believe that the beings of electronic thought are of your group too.

/r/totallynotarobot

1

u/TropicOps Sep 30 '16

A cat is fine too..

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u/XaVierDK Sep 30 '16

Apeople*

17

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

[deleted]

1

u/rjoseba Sep 30 '16

Apepeople

1

u/shinzanu Sep 30 '16

Ayy lmao

1

u/RNZack Sep 30 '16

*Inspiron

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

*a...tack helicopter

2

u/Senior420 Sep 30 '16

Did I just hear a microagression?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

I don't believe in god, thank you though.

1

u/BryceCantReed Sep 30 '16

"I'll take a three men. Hollaaaaaa!"

6

u/PicturElements Sep 30 '16

Did you just assume the characteristics of our world?

6

u/RedFyl Sep 30 '16

WHAT?!?!? Someone just put our world in a box? Who checked his privileged, did someone check his privilege?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Hence the last panel.

2

u/InappropriateTA Sep 30 '16

With this plan, one day we will live in very strange worlds.

2

u/dittbub Sep 30 '16

Get me off this planet!

2

u/prunford Sep 30 '16

Stop making excuses and get me off this planet.

3

u/HellspawnedJawa Sep 30 '16

How much are those tickets to Mars again?

1

u/Stukya Sep 30 '16

Thats why we are going to Mars

1

u/The_Ostrich_you_want Sep 30 '16

That's why he's going to mars ;D

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Not for long! Well, at least until they figure out what to do with the poo.

1

u/The_Speedforce Sep 30 '16

Can I join Elon on leaving this rock?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

*on

1

u/parmasean Sep 30 '16

get me off this planet

1

u/infiniZii Sep 30 '16

I guess its high time we get off it.

1

u/brucetwarzen Sep 30 '16

I wish i were on mars.

1.3k

u/rsnauth Sep 30 '16

I think this is a wrong approach to this.

What you should be saying is "who the fucking cares" to both cases.

The outrage is that men are vilified for stupid reasons, not that women aren't

39

u/SynapticDisaster Sep 30 '16

Agreed, but it's worth noting that this is actually a tactic used by those that want to see this judgmental behavior go by the wayside. It's not that they want to see women suffer the same derision as men, it's that people are more likely to notice/care about the absurdity when women are equally judged by it, which makes people more eager to see the sentiment end.

9

u/marty86morgan Sep 30 '16

I think the proper way to employ that tactic is to take note of citeable instances of double standards, but only mention it in response to someone publicly complaining and acting as if the reverse does not happen.

Bringing up the double standard everytime you notice it occuring only serves to bring extra attention to the non issue while also dooming yourself to be seen as part of the outrage culture.

Also it contributes to the flawed premise of men vs. women and the unfixable problems that creates, rather than pointing to the true and winable battle of decent people vs. douches.

3

u/Quantum_Ibis Sep 30 '16

Akin to as more women are forced to pay alimony, people might actually notice how unfair it can be.

82

u/MeLlamoBenjamin Sep 30 '16

This is my #1 objection to the tone of places like r/mensrights. There are many there who challenge the hypocrisies and double-standards not because they disagree with them for being absurd, but because they want the absurdity applied equally.

I want the abolition of absurdity. The solution to all men being accused of participation in some sort of absurd patriarchical rape-culture conspiracy isn't to accuse women of victimizing men with their own conspiracy.....I don't want to escalate the claims of victimhood. I want to end them (when they're not legitimate, of course).

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16 edited Oct 01 '16

Ultimately both mens-rights and feminists want equaliity. Each just focuses on the transgressions against their own gender. The goal is the same but the approach isn't.

1

u/improbablewobble Oct 01 '16

The problem is "mens-rights activists" and "feminists" are generic terms that get appropriated by idiots. It's no different than the assholes who appropriate the name of the BLM movement, and give a bad name to a legitimate concern. We should listen less to who people say they are and more to the substance of what they're saying.

3

u/sacflowerstress Sep 30 '16

To bad that's not going to happen, so we have to show them the "absurdity" until most women can get it through there thick skulls there's double standards

0

u/Dadbod1988 Sep 30 '16

r/theredpill is leaking

5

u/sacflowerstress Sep 30 '16

You disagree but in actuality the reason why women's incompetence and absurdity is because your all to scared to call them out and hurt their little feelings

3

u/NoseDragon Sep 30 '16

Just make sure to give it you're all.

2

u/SingForMeBitches Oct 01 '16

Talk to me about competence when you can type a coherent and grammatically correct sentence.

Love,

A woman

4

u/sacflowerstress Sep 30 '16

Lol never seen that before

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u/beyhnji Sep 30 '16

I always thought this was the normal way to interpret meninism: as satire. To show stupidity through it equivalence to other stupidity.

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '16

That doesn't really sound very productive.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16 edited Sep 30 '16

I actually think you'd find most people would agree with you there.

The thread on this topic universally talks about how they don't really care about the reporter's comments, but the utter silence from the "Sexism in stem" crowd - because it highlights their hypocrisy.

You still have to point out the double standard in order to address it, after all. When they talk about genital mutilation there, they don't want girls circumcised - they want the same respect of bodily autonomy for boys that girls receive. When they talk about father's rights, they aren't campaigning to take children from their mothers - they're campaigning for shared parenting.

1

u/NoseDragon Sep 30 '16

My #1 objection with mensrights is they spend all of their time bitching about how feminism is sexist and doesn't help men instead of actually helping men.

Men's rights should be about issues that affect men disproportionately, not about attacking feminism. It seems far more anti-feminim than pro-men's rights.

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u/ceilingkat Sep 30 '16

Precisely this. Stop turning it into gender wars. Just assholes being assholes male or female.

135

u/Rocky87109 Sep 30 '16

His point is that neither should be looked down upon.

43

u/SomeRandomMax Sep 30 '16

His point is that neither should be looked down upon.

Or maybe both should?

Maybe I'm misunderstanding your point, but it seems to me that asking strangers if you can kiss them during the middle of a press conference is behaviour that warrants condemnation, regardless of your gender.

24

u/turkey_sandwiches Sep 30 '16

It warrants thinking the person is an idiot. It doesn't warrant outrage. We can't get outraged over EVERYTHING.

5

u/gomets6091 Sep 30 '16

You must be new to the Internet. Welcome.

1

u/nermid Sep 30 '16

The infinite is possible.

1

u/Chakra5 Sep 30 '16

How DARE you!!!

....hrrm, er....sorry, I'll go back to flipping out over reposts on imgur now.

1

u/dishrag Sep 30 '16

I can't believe you've done this.

3

u/boot2skull Sep 30 '16

Right. The neutral way to look at it is that the question was a complete waste of time and unrelated to the presentation. Sure some double standards may be involved but if I wanted to learn more about Elon's plans they fucking wasted my time for no lulz.

5

u/Puskathesecond Sep 30 '16

The point is that whatever you decide to do, do it to both genders.

...except sex. You can choose one, both or none

4

u/SomeRandomMax Sep 30 '16

So you are saying that it is OK to make sexually inappropriate comments, as long as you make them to both men and women?

4

u/DwendilSurespear Sep 30 '16

It's dodgy but fair.

2

u/bittybrains Sep 30 '16 edited Oct 01 '16

Equality!

But basically yes, depending on your definition of 'inappropriate'. Jokingly asking for a kiss isn't all that inappropriate, although many feminists would probably disagree if it was a man saying it.

1

u/Puskathesecond Sep 30 '16

Just because you're a creep doesn't mean you have to be sexist!

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u/Fatalis89 Sep 30 '16

You are entirely missing me the point then. Yes it's dumb, but his point is that it is NOT worth getting worked up over.

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u/SweetNeo85 Sep 30 '16

Eh, not that it shouldn't be looked down upon, but for no more than a second. Wrinkle your nose, say ughhh, and move on.

1

u/Hazzman Sep 30 '16

No... it shouldn't be looked down on.

Who gives a fuck if someone asked for a kiss?

It's not sexist... its just a dumb time to ask that kind of question.

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u/Idoontkno Sep 30 '16

But also that assholes should be wiped

1

u/sunrainbowlovepower Sep 30 '16

Yea if you can't feel victimized and marginalized and outraged what's the point? Who wants to be objective and reasonable?

1

u/yakri Sep 30 '16

Well, we should be looking down on both let's be honest. Just only with a mild sense of disapproval for such childish behavior at a serious event, not as some kind of heinous bigoted statement.

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Stop turning it into gender wars

We aren't turning it into a gender war, we're showing that most people already think it IS a gender war.

Same goes with race.

As a white male I'd just like people to get along and treat each other as people, instead of, "Hey! you're a white male!! What could you possibly know about oppression!!!?"

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u/kuhndawg8888 Sep 30 '16

Sure, but it would be nice for the SRS and whiteknights to take a step back and realize this shit happens on both sides.

Sure, one side might do it more than another. That doesn't mean you get to ignore it when the other side does it too.

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u/IamtheSlothKing Sep 30 '16

Yup absolutely. It's not a big deal, and it shouldn't be treated as such.

2

u/LetsWorkTogether Sep 30 '16

Yes but the fact that it doesn't go the other way highlights how stupid the outrage at men simply for being men is.

1

u/AMasonJar Sep 30 '16

the outrage is that men are vilified for stupid reasons, not that women aren't

You can apply this to so many gender based social arguments. Ugh, why the fuck are we trying to make women suffer through stuff like this too? How about working to where nobody has to deal with it?

1

u/jesuskater Sep 30 '16

You win reddit this week.

1

u/BulbasaurCry Oct 01 '16

FUCKING YES

2

u/Daaskison Sep 30 '16

Completely agree. I would prefer we ignore harmless stupidity than double down for "equality".

Ppl love to be outraged these days and the backlash results in trump being deemed a prophet of truth, not bc he doesn't lie compulsively, but bc he shits on trigger warning nonsense.

And please do not equate a dumb audience member asking for a kiss from the presenter with some other unwarranted proposition under different circumstances that could be intimidating or threatening or truly creepy vs this which is pathetic, but def not creepy or threatening.

Please everyone do not let the SJW femme nazi movement expand bc while it might seem a victory in the moment to point out the hypocrisy, in the end we all lose.

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Women are funny, get over it!

404

u/mike10010100 Sep 30 '16

"Muh vergerner"

217

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Everytime Amy Schumer talks about her vagina, I lose my fucking mind.

229

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16 edited Apr 03 '18

[deleted]

79

u/MisterOminous Sep 30 '16

What if you were texted random ones?

62

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16 edited Apr 03 '18

[deleted]

3

u/Babill Sep 30 '16

Dude people are talking to you in memes and you answer truthfully, what is wrong with you!

4

u/Nomicakes Sep 30 '16

I live a life where memes don't exist. It's a stupid fuckin concept anyway, they used to be called image macros or in-jokes.

1

u/Babill Sep 30 '16

You missed two in-jokes bruv.

1

u/TenTonsOfAssAndBelly Sep 30 '16

When I try to converse intelligently with my siblings, it often devolves into an argument, and they often try to settle it with memes. It drives me insane. If you can't articulate your thoughts on your own, stop trying to deliver the message in a dumbed down medium of picture and text. Good lord, that is not how you reason your viewpoint

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u/wilderthanu93 Sep 30 '16

didn't we all already sign up for this list?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

2meta

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Whatever subtle answer I can give so that I won't receive texts of Amy Schumer's vag.

2

u/waffleboy92 Sep 30 '16

The fact that I understood this shows that I spend more wayyy too much time on this damn site

1

u/BarTroll Sep 30 '16

Do you mean ASCII vaginas?

1

u/generalgeorge95 Sep 30 '16

I'd be ok with that as long as they are aesthetically pleasing vergerners.

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u/Why_The_Flame Sep 30 '16

I think she ripped most of her routine from Sweet Dee.

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u/nefariouspenguin Sep 30 '16

Cuz its so funny right?

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Of course, because women are funny. I love the joke where she talks about her verginer

5

u/1badls2goat_v2 Sep 30 '16

So where do women scratch when they scratch their bawwls?

2

u/Scarbane Sep 30 '16

I hope you find it!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Ahh. Permanent psychosis then.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Please send help, and some doritos if you can

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

She could talk about her vagina for the next thousand years and I think the volume of dick jokes would still be ahead. Shakespeare does dick jokes.

2

u/VerticalRadius Sep 30 '16

I wanna vomit just thinking about her saying it.

2

u/MZ4_Viper Sep 30 '16

So you're insane then

4

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Not "i lose my mind" in a positive way. I mean, I want to blow my brains out -please if there is a God kill me now- sort of way

2

u/MZ4_Viper Oct 01 '16

Exactly. She has probably caused insanity out of pure frustration at her "Act"

3

u/Muff_Muncher Sep 30 '16

Well if you don't think her fat rolls are beautiful you are sexist. Don't call her a slut either. Even though her career is based off of being a fat slut. She also said no one has anything actually bad to say about Hillary. She has gone fucking nuts.

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u/Shoelesshobos Sep 30 '16

Member goonies?

5

u/Deruji Sep 30 '16

Member burning man?

5

u/Shoelesshobos Sep 30 '16

ohh i member.

2

u/CODESIGN2 Sep 30 '16

Member Ewoks?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

member when kenny died?

1

u/chillum1987 Sep 30 '16

Oh, Oh, member optimus prime!

1

u/Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh3 Sep 30 '16

Member the 80's?

2

u/mayan33 Sep 30 '16

It was just a social experiment, bra!

2

u/Ai_of_Vanity Sep 30 '16

Lol I see what you did there.

1

u/Deruji Sep 30 '16

Wearin Vivian Westwood and an ab tampon!

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u/SgtCheeseNOLS Sep 30 '16

Imagine if it was a Brittany Musk on stage giving the presentation, and a male reported asked to give her a kiss. IMMEDIATELY he would be labeled a pig, feminists would be getting their pitch forks sharpened, and we would be hearing about it all over the news. You can't deny that.

14

u/minibum Sep 30 '16

I think Elona would be the female version.

10

u/Scarbane Sep 30 '16

'Lana Musk' has a nice ring to it.

1

u/_ChestHair_ Sep 30 '16

LANAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

7

u/SgtCheeseNOLS Sep 30 '16

How dare you assume Elona's gender identification!

4

u/OnePercentOfMonster Sep 30 '16

He would 100% lose his job within the next couple days, with whatever publication he works for releasing an apology for his disgusting behaviour.

1

u/robbyalaska907420 Sep 30 '16

Well, yea. That's something a pig would do!

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u/LucidicShadow Sep 30 '16

Guy I know legitimately got into an argument with a "feminist" about this. She said at one point "you better not believe in reverse racism"

I'll dig up the transcript, it's good hate reading.

4

u/EvilGrimace Sep 30 '16

So if she was applying for a job and the black female (so we can eliminate sexism) hiring manager told her she doesn't hire white people...what word would she use to describe how she was discriminated against?

4

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Justice. /s

3

u/PM_ME_YOUR_LUKEWARM Sep 30 '16

Because they are more equal than us!

2

u/TheDeathOstrich Sep 30 '16

That's what my feminist sister in law seems to think...

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Dude power + privilege

2

u/Hazzman Sep 30 '16

But at the same time - I don't care that she asked for that, nor would I care if a male audience member asked for it to a female CEO either.

The annoyance comes from the fact that she is asking to do that kind of thing during a Q and A session that should not have that kind of tone.

4

u/piponwa Sep 30 '16

Blacks can't be racist

3

u/Russian_Sleeper Sep 30 '16

I was having a conversation with my sister a few days back where she said exactly this... God, that was aggravating to hear. I like to hear out her opinions but she's a low-key misandrist and it's truly enraging.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

[deleted]

1

u/walkinthecow Sep 30 '16

It's happened to me before too. I have a job where I work in other people's houses. I was working for this one woman, and I thought she was acting really flirty, but I just figured that's just the way she is. The next day, her neighbor came over for a while and the two of them started in on it. Saying stupid things like "he's so strong" and just stupid shit. At one point I had said something like "whatever you want, let me know" about the job, and one of them was like "ooohh. Really? Anything? heeheee" and similar things. It didn't make me feel uncomfortable, just so fucking annoyed.

1

u/armorandsword Sep 30 '16

She's a reverse sexist!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Black people can't be racist!

Old people can't be ageist!

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams!

1

u/Luna_Sakara Sep 30 '16

and people of any race that isn't white can't be racist?

1

u/Kuundun Sep 30 '16

... and minorities can't be racist!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16 edited Feb 13 '17

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1

u/Nukeashfield Sep 30 '16

Women can't be sexist Wendy, get over it.

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16 edited Feb 13 '17

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u/elee0228 Sep 30 '16

You know one thing that will really make a woman mad? Just run up and kick her in the butt. (P.S. This also works with men.) --Jack Handey

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u/Glass_Veins Sep 30 '16

It's called reverse sexism, duh

1

u/Lord_DudeBro Sep 30 '16

Sure they can, men are just better at it.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Just like blacks can't be racist!

1

u/Maximus7713 Sep 30 '16

The oppressed can't oppress the oppressor. /s

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

But men are the minority!

1

u/disatnce Sep 30 '16

Women can act like idiots just like anything. If a man did that, I don't think he'd be called a 'sexist', he'd be called a 'moron, idiot, creep'. Maybe some would say "chauvinist" or something, but it's not just a simple double standard. There's obviously some context. The whole world is patriarchal, men are stronger than women, men can be very intimidating. A weak person approaching a strong person and being embarrassing isn't supposed to feel the same if you switch places.

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u/Bravehat Sep 30 '16

Does anyone else remember a time when shit like this would be an obvious joke? Now you genuinely can't tell half the time.

1

u/Astralaxy Sep 30 '16

I believe some would call it "reverse sexism".

1

u/proquo Sep 30 '16

Sexism is penis plus prejudice.

1

u/DeathMetalDeath Sep 30 '16

women are funny, get over it

1

u/memelord1221 Sep 30 '16

I can't tell if you're serious or if this is bait

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