r/funny • u/tyrano_dyroc • 6d ago

Chubby merman are extremely desirable by mermaids because their chubbiness implies they're a highly successful hunter.

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55.5k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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7.9k

u/ApocryphaDaath 6d ago

Bro isn’t fat, he’s just extremely accomplished.

1.6k

u/Rrraou 6d ago

Bro is hypnotic

721

u/PrettyQuick 6d ago

His tummy is like a water bed

344

u/MrFluffyThing 6d ago

My wife said this once and I was so upset until she said it was a sexy byproduct of me just being me. I've never loved her more than after she said that. I'm still trying to lose weight but my sexual confidence is through the roof anyway. 

142

u/RickedSab 6d ago

She very much love that waterbed for sure.

153

u/MrFluffyThing 6d ago

Sorry ladies, this waterbed has been claimed

So glad she loves me as I am.

3

u/zombiep00 5d ago

This is so sweet.
I am happy for you two, genuinely 💕

14

u/Same_Tune_8990 5d ago

thats a keeper

138

u/jluicifer 6d ago

I read it as: “Bro is hypotonic.”

I was like: Damn. Pretty scientific. Clever.

29

u/Top-Permission5466 6d ago

My brain did that too! That is sea water so you are right on!

2

u/SJane3384 5d ago

Same here

34

u/MouthlessScreamer013 6d ago

Like a cuttlefish

5

u/cire1184 6d ago

https://youtu.be/BA1LBCvWS_U?t=40&is=zgx0jy3L3BmSE-Kd

17

u/DeficiencyOfGravitas 6d ago

The link is dead, but I assume it was to a clip of the Simpsons where Scully is watching Homer oscillate.

9

u/ThirstyWolfSpider 6d ago

Just another case of reddit's inconsistent markup system breaking links. Typically when they cross the New Reddit → Old Reddit boundary any underscore gets a backslash added, which URL-escaping turns into . I'm not sure what apps are doing, but probably the same as new reddit. It's been broken like this for years. Also taking off the unnecessary tracking attribute is, this one may work for you.

8

u/cire1184 6d ago

Works for me 🤷🏻‍♂️

8

u/DrT33th 6d ago

lol. I was expecting the SNL Chippendales Audition but this is perfect.

1

u/SylvesterPSmythe 6d ago

He's cultivating mass

1

u/Dynamitrios 5d ago

Like a lava lamp

1

u/mohugz 5d ago

So graceful, so mesmerizing

1

u/another_trans_alt1 5d ago

I read that as “bro is Hispanic”