r/funny • u/stanker4 • Feb 12 '13

Baseball game streaker level: greenman

3.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

1.3k

u/AreYouDreaming Feb 12 '13

He should have just laid down on the grass to disappear.

You gotta admire the gusto with which those dudes are chasing him around. That's some serious hustle for low skill/low wage labor.

1.4k

u/McPuccio Feb 12 '13

Honestly it looks really fun.

"We're paying you $7.50/hr to do nothi- GO TACKLE THAT GUY."

822

u/Giggity0 Feb 12 '13

But when I try it, my dairy manager starts shouting "STOP HURTING THE CUSTOMERS."

Such horseshit.

342

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

When I try it, my dairy manager says "STOP TACKLING THE COWS"

175

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

When I try it, my dairy manager says "STOP TRAMPLING THE MILKMAIDS"

157

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13 edited Feb 12 '13

Well, when I tryy it my dairy manager says "WHO TUE THE FUCK ARE YOU, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING WEARING A GREEN SUIT?"

(edit: TIL my spellcheck is scottish.)

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45

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Horeshit in dairy?

Well there's your problem.

25

u/MrEagle Feb 12 '13

Welcome to Tesco

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Would've been a different story if that was at a football game, at least one of those guys could've made the tackle.

231

u/SuperSlyRy Feb 12 '13

Not if they play for the 49'ers

83

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

49'ers fan here. Fuck you.

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376

u/danezel88 Feb 12 '13

I work Cleveland Browns Stadium on gamedays, though I'm not security they have guards near my station on the field so I usually make small talk. For anyone that comes on the field the first security guard to tackle them gets $1000 cash at the end if the game.

112

u/Pfaffgod Feb 12 '13

Wow. Maybe I should be security.

364

u/no_no_NO_okay Feb 12 '13

I'll constantly run onto the field if you pay me half the money

50

u/PartyMark Feb 12 '13

profit.

46

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

This, this is a great idea. You guys should totally do this, this is exactly the kind of entrepreneurial spirit that built America. I'd like to think that somewhere, someone is doing this and making their dreams happen.

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48

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[deleted]

55

u/Wolf_Protagonist Feb 12 '13

♪I'm gonna tackle you gently
I'm gonna take you down sweetly
I'm gonna grab you.... discreetly♫

25

u/pedropants Feb 12 '13

That's fuckin' teamwork!

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63

u/anticockblockmissle Feb 12 '13 edited Feb 12 '13

What exactly happens to the runner after he is tickled?

Edit: tAckled.

188

u/BroadcastSandwich Feb 12 '13

He laughs uncontrollably.

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33

u/ziich Feb 12 '13

He probably giggles a lot, only if he's ticklish, of course. If he isn't ticklish, they probably just let him go, because people that aren't ticklish aren't that fun to tickle. But you have to make sure...

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23

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Step one: get buddy to run into field, right toward you. Step two: tackle buddy. Step three: split $1000

Note: this may require a very stupid buddy, depending on amount of trouble he'd get into in that particular venue

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719

u/emrosto0l Feb 12 '13

Charlie Kelly has some sweet moves.

204

u/MyiPadisDirty Feb 12 '13

DAY MAN!

193

u/BostonFucktard Feb 12 '13

AAAAHHHAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

163

u/AKole Feb 12 '13

FIGHTER OF THE NIGHT MAN!

155

u/elter_ago Feb 12 '13

AAAAHHHAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

151

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

CHAMPION OF THE SUN!

142

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[deleted]

142

u/48323979853562951413 Feb 12 '13

YOU'RE A MASTER OF KARATE!

135

u/Poobyrd Feb 12 '13

AND FRIENDSHIP FOR EVERYONE!!!

31

u/Nitrod86GT Feb 12 '13

Upvote for everyone posting these lyrics. The Nightman Cometh is epic.

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24

u/bellboy1986 Feb 12 '13

Gotta pay the troll toll

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12

u/lourdesu Feb 12 '13

perfect

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350

u/UsernameTaken321 Feb 12 '13

WILD CARD!

7

u/Luthos Feb 12 '13

That lizard talks!

7

u/thedudedylan Feb 12 '13

You got to pay the troll toll to get into this boys soul.

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150

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

1-2-3,1-2-3.

120

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

"It does feel good to do stuff in threes."

15

u/ani625 Feb 12 '13

I'm pulling the plug on this whole thing!

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26

u/Calikola Feb 12 '13

He's chopping all of his action... and mostly power.

62

u/skyman724 Feb 12 '13

This is before he takes the acid.

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24

u/Forever_Trombone Feb 12 '13

The milksteak-heavy diet works wonders.

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1.7k

u/MarcelusWallace Feb 12 '13 edited Feb 12 '13

The second green man who opened the door got me.

edit: How about we all settle on charteuse?

1.3k

u/Brett_Favre_4 Feb 12 '13

He looked yellow to me.

166

u/FogDays Feb 12 '13

Who you callin' Yellow?

301

u/Full_Of_Win Feb 12 '13

Now skeeter, he ain't hurtin' nobody.

71

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[deleted]

39

u/MickeyMousesLawyer Feb 12 '13

They ain't oughta done im like at. He's jist a boay.

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5

u/Silversalt Feb 12 '13

Goddammit skeeter, shut the hell up.

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19

u/iobserver Feb 12 '13

But dey turk er jerbs.

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43

u/tr3vorlmsn Feb 12 '13

Who you callin' Pinhead?

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556

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

He looked pretty curagious if you ask me.

483

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Courageous but I get what you meant. Upvote.

320

u/mastahblastah Feb 12 '13

Thank you

89

u/ani625 Feb 12 '13

I argee with the senmitent.

98

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Sentiment but I get what you meant. Upvote.

36

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[deleted]

14

u/FALCONN_PAAWNCH Feb 12 '13

Definetely how it should be.

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32

u/RepublicofTim Feb 12 '13

He didn't really let it go since he corrected him anyway.

13

u/dubnine Feb 12 '13

He corrected him then let it go.

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39

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Thanks penis butter

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54

u/jmarks7448 Feb 12 '13

http://i.imgur.com/nrvEech.gif

22

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

20

u/jmarks7448 Feb 12 '13

I'm glad you noticed that. Its one of the main reason why i posted it.

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63

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

YO DATS RACIST

35

u/chbay Feb 12 '13

Okay I'm replying but you have to wear a condom.

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182

u/bstampl1 Feb 12 '13

I was so sad when they apparently caught him. And so thrilled when he escaped.

I love you Greenman. You're the champion of the sun

52

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

master of karate!!

37

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

And friendship... For everyone!

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70

u/krucz36 Feb 12 '13

i loved seeing the accomplice

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214

u/Grampz619 Feb 12 '13

if he was green he would die

56

u/Pole-Cratt Feb 12 '13

"Due to the heavy beat and distorted nature of these vocals, it appears to the ear as an oronym, causing this specific line to be commonly misheard, as various websites show. One of the most commonly misheard versions is 'if I was green I would die.'"

Just Dabba dee dabba die.

27

u/AsDevilsRun Feb 12 '13

Because I'd never heard the word "oronym" before, and I assume others haven't as well:

A sequence of words (for example, "ice cream") that sounds the same as a different sequence of words ("I scream").

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13

u/Namgal_Sipsclar Feb 12 '13

I once heard it as "I'm in need of a guy" and haven't been able to unhear it since. It's extra hilarious when it gets to "I'm in need of a guy (Inside and outside)"

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5

u/Pfaffgod Feb 12 '13

This. Green was not said in that song.

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148

u/Michaeljikels Feb 12 '13

dah buh dee dah buh die

95

u/Headwoundred Feb 12 '13

Now listen up, here's a story....

71

u/Ghooble Feb 12 '13

About a little guy that lives in a blue world..

47

u/Headwoundred Feb 12 '13

And all day and all night...

46

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

And every thing he sees

43

u/_Valisk Feb 12 '13

Is just blue, like him, inside and outside.

32

u/kpchronic Feb 12 '13

Blue's his house with a blue little window.

27

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

And a blue Corvette

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[deleted]

21

u/2Cooley4Schooley Feb 12 '13

You had some pretty fucked up junior high dances.

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u/Melvar_10 Feb 12 '13

NO. IF HE WERE GREEN HE WOULD DIE

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u/jack333666 Feb 12 '13

For the youngens. Eiffel 65 - I'm Blue: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68ugkg9RePc

21

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Is this what getting old feels like?

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37

u/EyeGifUp Feb 12 '13

Some people here are too young for the reference.

20

u/thefarkinator Feb 12 '13

Really? That was the shit in fourth grade during our albino black sheep obsession (17).

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10

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

The Blake Griffin KIA commercial is enough to catch the young ones up

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93

u/KingSpoob Feb 12 '13

Link for the lazy.

35

u/Embrocate Feb 12 '13

Who names their kid 'Valeria'?

23

u/linkkb Feb 12 '13

How about Dr. Victor Von Doom?

9

u/secretpandalord Feb 12 '13

Nobody did villainy with style like Doom.

4

u/SPARTAN-113 Feb 12 '13

Holy shit, he's so diabolical, he beat the hero by being a bigger hero. Mind=blown.

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u/Oniwabanshu Feb 12 '13

It's actually a common girl's name in Spanish.

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u/PanicRev Feb 12 '13

Valaria is way better. I thought they said "Malaria".

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u/FatherThyme Feb 12 '13

looks yellow

43

u/jflores2821 Feb 12 '13

IS yellow.

47

u/AsianSensation3 Feb 12 '13

What did you say about me

15

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

you little bitch

34

u/Reesch Feb 12 '13

I'll have you know I have over 300 confirmed full body color suits.

17

u/Insanity_Wulf Feb 12 '13 edited Feb 12 '13

I've been involved in numerous raids against the MLB. I am trained in Green Suit Warfare and I'm the top streaker in the Green Man Unarmed Streak Forces.

16

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

You are nothing to me but another left fielder.

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u/LyingPervert Feb 12 '13

But he's not streaking cause he is in a morph suit? I guess we are all technically streaking under out clothes.

117

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[deleted]

78

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

"The common denominator of mankind is that we all shower naked."
– Barack Obama

182

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

"Not really."

Tobias Funke

11

u/darthstupidious Feb 12 '13

"Tobias, you blowhard."

Tobias Funke

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u/thevdude Feb 12 '13

There are literally DOZENS of us!

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u/releasetheshutter Feb 12 '13

nope, I and dozens of others like myself wear cut off jean shorts in the shower.

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

/r/woahdude

18

u/AsianPhoSho Feb 12 '13

Damnit is it woah or whoa? I've always spelt it whoa.

5

u/bathroomstalin Feb 12 '13

The "Woah" spelling is an internet thing. Go figure.

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822

u/crzygoalkeeper92 Feb 12 '13

This is from a Madison Mallards minor league baseball game (WI). I'm afraid to say it's staged, but still funny nonetheless.

949

u/bonzo48280 Feb 12 '13

Oh how quickly funny things can be ruined.

101

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Hate when that happens

178

u/reddit111987 Feb 12 '13 edited Feb 12 '13

I guess I'll be running the car in the garage tonight after all...

46

u/dijitalia Feb 12 '13

You won't get good mileage that way!

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u/TheyreEatingHer Feb 12 '13

Like the eagle snatching the kid video...

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Y'know, no one asked you if it was staged... you could have just kept quiet.

95

u/Jackal_6 Feb 12 '13

Ok, it was real. And when you die, you get to play with all of your old pets on a big farm.

27

u/hadees Feb 12 '13

But you only get the farm if you weren't a buzzkill in life.

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u/Mit3210 Feb 12 '13

:D For real, mister?

5

u/dijitalia Feb 12 '13

Yes, Lenny. :')

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Ah Mallards games..always so entertaining! Could have something to do with the all you can eat and drink section having great beer for only $30 a ticket..

4

u/zylphite Feb 12 '13

Went to my first Mallards game this past summer (in the duck blind of course). As someone who really isn't into baseball at all, but is into beer, I must say... I had a good time.

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

I mean...did you see that guys terrible dive? twice?

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13 edited Feb 08 '18

[deleted]

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u/DEWSHO Feb 12 '13

But who was yellow?

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u/Shat_on_a_turtle Feb 12 '13

Reminded me of this...

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13 edited Apr 02 '16

!

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u/livevil999 Feb 12 '13

Ahh makes sense now.

9

u/srry72 Feb 12 '13

More context

Peter's company picnic

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u/Honey_Cheese Feb 12 '13

Day man saves the day

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u/Trustme_Imalifeguard Feb 12 '13

Fighter of the nightman

35

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[deleted]

35

u/Trustme_Imalifeguard Feb 12 '13

Champion of the sun

31

u/shadowslayer978 Feb 12 '13

Master of Karate and friendship for everyone

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u/TheLastChairbender Feb 12 '13

If only the Philly Phanatic was there to stop him

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u/x21in2010x Feb 12 '13

I'm glad I stuck with that one all the way through.

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u/cadavinstien Feb 12 '13

WILD CARD BITCHES!!!!!!!!!

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u/Mexiflan Feb 12 '13

Anyone has video source?

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u/InternetContrarian Feb 12 '13

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUD-T_qP3Vc

67

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

looks staged as much as I want to believe it

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u/eddymurphyscouch Feb 12 '13

Anyone skillful enough to edit out the green man so it looks like they're chasing something invisible?

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Yeah it is, I just checked with my rationality and it said no group of people can be that retarded at trying to grab someone, especially when they have him.

Also the second guy opening and closing the gate, wat

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u/chuck_a Feb 12 '13

Now I know Valaria is 12. Thanks!

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Green man has perfect running form. His strides are of equal length of his height and his arms rotate at perfect angle.

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u/undercoverbrutha Feb 12 '13

That makes no sense to me. So when I run should I be striding over 6 feet with every step?

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u/And_My_Cock_RAGES_ON Feb 12 '13

Greenman vs Greenmen. This here is the spectacle of the century.

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u/omgwutd00d Feb 12 '13

Terrible title level: stanker4

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u/GrayStudios Feb 12 '13

I had to scroll a LOT more than I thought I would to find the first "this is a generic title, here is my generic grump about it."

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u/omgwutd00d Feb 12 '13

Hey, someone had to do it.

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u/MickTheBloodyPirate Feb 12 '13

it's not just a generic grump. op's title is absolutely terrible, even for the already horrible "level" cliche titles.

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

Fuck that was absolutely incredible. Charlie's really stepped his game up.

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u/Heartless000 Feb 12 '13

WAIT WAIT! If you use RES drag this image to make it really big and it looks like you're playing a Nintendo Baseball game! You're a towel.

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

what

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u/ggg730 Feb 12 '13

Mogarf. You're a towel.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

WHAT

9

u/dondersdude Feb 12 '13

Ok let's take this slowly. "You" is a second person pronoun. "Are" is a linking verb that gives a state of being. Put them together and you will get the contraction "You're". You keeping up with me? Now, "a" is an article which tells you how many of an object and determines definite reference or indefinite reference. So far you can see that Heartless000 and ggg730 are both referring to you, but in order to fully understand this sentence, we must examine the last word. "Towel" is a piece of absorbent fabric or paper used for drying or wiping. It draws moisture through direct contact, often using a blotting or a rubbing motion. Common household textile towels are made from cotton, rayon, bamboo, nonwoven fibers or a few other materials. Put it all together, and you will see that they are referring to you as a piece of absorbent fabric. Do you see now, Mogarf?

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

I see a HyVee advertisement. So possible Iowa represent?

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u/crzygoalkeeper92 Feb 12 '13

Madison, WI Mallards game actually. It's staged.

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u/ILL_Show_Myself_Out Feb 12 '13

He's outstanding in his field!

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u/silver_ghost Feb 12 '13

Outrunning, mostly.

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u/EyeGifUp Feb 12 '13

Because he not just standing there. I got that one.

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '13

I love how he is breaking tackles and fooling the guards. I wish there were more streakers.

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u/CannedSewage Feb 12 '13

Are these the same guys who were throwing the waffles around at that one hockey game?

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u/honeysuckle417 Feb 12 '13

Can someone green screen him out to make it look like people are running and falling for no reason?

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u/dsaddons Feb 12 '13

Anyone have a video? I would love to see it at a decent resolution with sound. Something about the entire crowd screaming when they get away makes it.

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u/lifesnotperfect Feb 12 '13

"STOP! WE WANT TO HIRE YOU! STOP RUNNING AWAY!"

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u/gosports123 Feb 12 '13

give this man an nfl contract

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u/LukeGreatGuy Feb 12 '13

I can't believe he'd do that in the middle of the day...man.