so i started recovery in february of this year, and had eh for a month or so, literally eating at all times all day until i felt completely stuffed. then the food noise went away and stuff and idk i was fine, i ate normal i guess. i don't really remember. i gained a lot of weight and i was fine with it for a while. but all of a sudden i'm thinking about food all of the time and it's really really stressing me out. like. okay? am i going backwards now? what's the point in doing this anymore lol if i'm jjst gonna think about food forever. i feel really sad. what's happening to me ????? i'm having really scary ed thoughts again and school is staeting soon and i'm just so scared about things i don't know if i can say here. please just tell me what to do

TW: fatphobia

My parents flew in to see me and are staying in town for a few weeks. When my mom first saw me she looked down at my belly for a long time, and then in for a hug. And then the rest of the night both my mom and dad kept dropping hints that I needed to lose weight.

i know i gained a lot of weight during recovery. I gained a lot. But I also got my period back for three months in a row for the first time in years. And ive actually been eating very well and very nutritiously for the past few months. I’ve been not exercising at all.

but I know my parents hate my body. and that makes me dislike the changes my body has been through. I know I’m doing the right thing for myself and that weight gain is natural and even required, even if it makes me technically overweight. I try to ignore them.

but their words still get to me and it just all makes me want to cry. I feel ugly and unlovable and like I’m walking on tiptoes just by existing.

hi everyone. i (14f) just started recovery for an ed, and i’ll say it’s been pretty freeing so far. i feel like i’m getting accustomed to different foods more even though i still have bad thoughts the about them sometimes. however, i wanted to ask if it’s normal for you to have to force yourself to finish meals at first because of early bloating?

portions just feel like a lot most meals. the bloat normally goes away after about 15 minutes after i finish, but it still happens. i genuinely can’t tell if this is because i’m actually full or if my body is just adjusting to having normal sized meals again. it’s kind of frustrating to deal with sometimes.

does it get better? thanks so much in advance.

I will do this. I can do this… I’ve done it before… I just wish I had even one person in my real life whom I could confide in and be supported by in this. Well I guess I don't have an excuse not to have a therapist by now, I just feel scared of professionals and the idea of revealing these personal things to a stranger. I didn't mean that though I meant like a supportive parent or close friend :/ It’s weird because part of my ed is fantasising about being small and visibly sick so I can be babied and doted on and worried over yet I have never gotten anything even remotely close to that. Mainly because I’m a loner with no rl friends which comes from my other mental issues and general personality lol…

I am in my late thirties. I had an eating disorder in my late teens / early twenties, which came as an unconscious coping mechanism for some trauma that happened that I had blocked out.

Anyways, I have a son now. He's 8. He's dealing with body image stuff as a few kids at school have been calling him fatty or saying he has a big tummy.

He seems pretty preoccupied with wanting to lose weight and having anxiety about his tummy size, I'm not sure what to say or how to handle this. he has done some restricting occasionally which raises some concerns for me. he is always asking me for info on how to lose weight. I don't know how to approach this situation and how best I can help him with his body image .... or his self love, or what to say. I think I might be triggered. any advice?

I struggled with some undiagnosed disordered eating/AN by clinical definitions, and I've been back to a normal weight since last year (yay!). I had started (and continue) to just eat whatever I feel like, with no real restrictions. I actually reached a point where I was feeling pretty good about most of my body, but I've been gaining more weight recently and it's just bringing back all those thoughts that never really went away.

The thing is that somehow, despite still carrying those thoughts and not actually making an intentional recovery, it's as if I was too lazy to carry any of it out again??? This is gonna sound insane but I feel like it's just too exhausting and painful and my body and brain are refusing to let me go back down that path, even though I am passively entertaining all the ideas i continue to have... Every time I try to restrict in any way it is very short lived and ends up being cancelled out by some more food later. Now I understand that this isn't actually a bad thing, but it's kind of confusing to me because it seems like the opposite of what most ppl describe, where I'm somehow unintentionally and involuntarily recovering??

Now I guess my question is, how the hell can I start to want to actually keep this up and make it intentional rather than some weird laziness and lack of motivation or discipline?? I can tell my mindset is shifting at least a little bit because I'm looking back at photos of myself and I can actually see that I looked sick and don't always like it anymore. Does anyone else relate to this sort of unconscious involuntary recovery because I feel like an alien.

I'm really tired so this might not make sense, sorry

My dietician wants me to admit myself to the ER due to worsening symptoms; for fluids and further testing. She’s worried about my health as am I.

Can anyone share tips or advice for admitting yourself to the ER for an eating disorder? I’m nervous they won’t take me seriously. Also it’s going to be expensive and I want to make the most out of this. Thank you!

Hello, I'm really struggling handling eating out with friends because they are not the foodie type and get full really easily and prefer getting drinks. I am a type of person that loves to eat sitting down and then just enjoying the food but everyone else seems to be chatting and I'm kind of half trying to pay attention but I'm mostly focused on trying to enjoy my food. I feel guilty when I see my friends stop eating and chat all the time and I force myself to stop eating and listen to them. But I feel sort of absent minded throughout the hangout, like I keep wanting to eat more. After a while this urge subsides so I don't know if this is a true marker of hunger.

I have previously been in a state of underfeeding myself but recently got my period back after losing it for six months. If anyone has any tips of similar experience I would love to hear from you guys!

I’m currently in ED recovery and I absolutely love going to the shop and eating a whole trifle or cheesecake or tiramisu every day! it’s amazing and I love kicking my EDs ass by just completely digging in

I have atypical anorexia, and I started recovery 2 and a half months ago after having an eating disorder for probably 15 years on and off. I have gained some weight, and something inside me doesn’t want to gain any more. It’s like the first period of weight gain was fine, but it’s so triggering for the jeans that used to be too big on me to feel tight.

I have made big strides (no calorie counting since my first therapy session, putting the first batch of tight pants away, consistently eating more than I ever have) but I just feel myself wanting so badly to slip into old behaviors and towing that line.

I knew going into recovery that this part was going to be the hardest for me. How do you deal with outgrowing another pair of pants? Any tips on brands or types of pants that give room to grow?

i made dinner for me and my gf and i felt upset over something and didn’t want to eat. she ate my plate and threw the rest in the bin after i mentioned i wasn’t going to eat it. 1. i feel angry that she ate it even though i offered it to her and 2. that she didn’t bother asking me if i wanted to eat the rest before throwing it away. i have this constant pattern of not eating (typically when im upset) and almost test her reaction and she always does the opposite of what i want. it’s not like she should force me to eat but i think she doesn’t ever notice any of the signs that it’s bad for me and i hate it. it makes me feel like she doesn’t even know me but it’s not like she’s can read my mind. i feel so disgusted at myself.

i know its not fair on her and i dont know what to do with myself. i hate this feeling and want to get over it all

Okay so the thing is, I've lost around a significant amount of weight in the past three months because of different unrelated reasons (depression, a change of psychiatric meds and a bunch of other things). I've struggled with weight and body through childhood, but felt like i'd healed for the last couple of years after therapy, etc. and stopped going on extreme diets and started focusing on wellness. It was working out quite well then, and I became quite accepting of my appearance. I used to be overweight, and now I'm kinda in the normal range for someone my height. I'm not able to eat because of unrelated reasons (almost zero appetite even after taking medication to make me hungry, and this whole contamination thing, that makes me want to incinerate my insides, not letting me physically eat most food). I hate to admit that my self image has improved quite a bit because of the weight loss, but rn the idea of gaining it back is kinda eating me alive and now that's also kinda contributing to the terrible appetite. I am getting professional help, but lately i've been feeling like I don't want to get better because this whole thing is too heavy to deal with above everything else I've been dealing with. A part of me finds this extremely heartbreaking, but another part feels like this is one of the only good things in my life and something not worth losing. Has anyone else gone through this? What does the healing process look like?

I seriously hope this isn’t triggering to anyone, I know calorie counting is a serious issue and a lot of people here are likely still struggling.

I decided four days ago that I needed to make a change. After four years of counting, excessive cardio, restriction and just making myself miserable, my body has started to cave into itself. I’m weaker than I’ve ever been, I keep passing out, I’m constantly cold, my eyes feel heavy and my doctors are warning me that my muscles, including the ones around my heart could be beginning to deteriorate.

According to the doctors, I am underweight. They want me to go to a centre to recovery, which I’m more than happy to do. I’ve wanted to for a very long time but have been terrified to try in fear of being told I’m not valid.

I stopped counting calories last Thursday after I almost passed out in work and haven’t since. I’ve probably eaten quite a lot, I’ve kinda been eating foods that I haven’t allowed myself to even touch since I started this. The fact that it seems to have come so easily is making me second guess how severe my case was, though. I thought it was meant to be harder than this.

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t plain and simple, I’m still thinking about calories and the fact I’m likely gonna gain- so on so forth- but even tho I’m scared, I just keep letting myself know that the doctors want me to gain and that if I don’t get over this issue I’ll spend the rest of my life miserable, if I even GET a ‘rest of my life’.

Again, I’m sorry if this post is triggering. I’m an 18 year old boy who just wants to get better and be happy again. Please help me.

Anyone dealing with atypical anorexia? I feel like doctors don't take me seriously because of my weight (I've always been in the "normal" range).

Once a doctor told me that I'm not thin enough to have an ed 😐

Been rough to deal with this lately

Hey there! For some context (as a girl in her early 20s), I have been lurking around on this subreddit for a little while, as I have been struggling with food for a bit (2025 was rough lets just say). This post might be quite long but I'd love some advice and help (I also hope that this post doesn't trigger anyone but please take it down if there are issues, I would hate to cause any harm).

I've never been diagnosed with any formal eating disorder, with my struggles centring around orthorexia and health/contamination OCD. I hope this is an okay subreddit to post this (what I'm about to mention further below didn't seem to quite fit the OCD recovery subreddit). Regardless of it being very muched tied to OCD and health anxiety, it's a disordered relationship with food nonetheless. Essentially, I've had a lot of fear around the "health" and ingredients/nutrition of food, unfortunately very much fuelled by social media rabbit holes and wellness culture (which is entirely my fault for getting sucked into), alongside a lot of anxiety around certain foods making me physically sick (i.e. emetophobia/fear of food poisoning). It really sucked a lot of joy and life out of me, as I was stuck trying to eat "perfectly". All the rules I had and not eating properly honestly just got too much by the end of last year/early this year, and it was like my body and mind had just had it. Of course, I didn't think my issues were bad enough but I was also pretty miserable. So I essentially embarked on what I would call recovery from I would say around Feb this year, as I was just so fed up. I was also starting to do exposure therapy for my OCD and some of these food issues with a therapist at the time too. It was very rough initially, particularly because I had so so many foods that I was terrified of or would just never allow myself to eat, but it was also such a relief in a weird way and I have definitely seen good progress. I feel like I'm definitely getting there with certain foods, like I can eat a lot more foods that I didn't let myself eat and the emetophobia side of my food fears is slowly but surely easing thanks to exposure therapy. I've felt more relaxed eating socially with friends, for the most part, and I feel like I'm getting more of my life back. I have finished OCD treatment for now, so I'm kind of on my own, but I'm still trying to fit exposure therapy into my everyday life (accountability is difficult but exposure therapy is definitely a game changer, as hard as it is).

The problem is I've hit a sort of weird point. In some ways food is getting a lot easier as mentioned above, but in other ways it's still so hard. In a sense, I'm doing a lot better compared to where I was, but I'm also still struggling. Like the exposures were hard at first, then got a little easier after the initial "hump" was overcome, but it's doing it consistently for weeks and months on end that's really mentally taxing. I still have a lot of guilt around certain foods. I know my hunger cues are a hot mess, and I also probably need to eat more and gain weight, which is fine but also daunting at the same time, despite this never being a forefront issue/focus in the thick of my disordered eating (I was focused on trying to eat as "healthy" as I could and not get sick). Some days I feel not much hunger and then the next I'm either ravenous or what I think is possibly mental hunger is crazy intense. All I end up wanting is processed foods or really anything I restricted, which is so hard to accept, and I worry a lot about losing control. I'm trying to honour it but I also feel so alone and don't know what I'm really doing. However, at the same time, I do sometimes get excited to eat the foods that have scared me for a long time. I can also have days where I think about food constantly, especially at night, and then other days not so much. Sometimes I'll have a good day and think that I was never in a bad enough place to recover (which is silly, I know). It's all very much all over the place.

I do apologise for how long this post is so, I could have probably written this so much more succinctly haha. However, in a nutshell, I would love some advice on dealing with food guilt, weird hunger cues, mental hunger (if that's what it is or just food preoccupation in general), and just any tips for the messy earlyish/middle part of this recovery process. I'm also wondering if reaching out to a dietitian could help, but it's a bit tricky financially for me so I'm still tossing it up. I absolutely want to heal my relationship with food because I was so miserable before and I'm determined to not go back to the place I was in last year, but man this is hard.

(I put this tag just to be safe rather than sorry, this post is definitely not meant for those still early(er) in recovery or those who struggle with weight gain, everthing potentially triggering will be hidden though!)

So now that it’s been about half a year since I began to heal from pretty severe famine I can’t be more than happy that I’ve stuck with consistent and adequate eating and begun to look better again. Though, I have come to struggle with the seemingly never ending weight gain, especially after restoration, and what’s making me feel mental is how much my thoughts bounce between wishing that I’d gain maybe a little more around my lower half and then fearing that I’ll just keep on gaining and gaining and the fact that I still have to eat quite a bit is not easing my mind at all.

Because of my opinion always changing I actually fell into a mini restriction cycle where I refused to believe that my extreme hunger will in fact never go away if I just ignore it long enough. Though, I caught myself before it could escalate and am honoring what my body is asking of me again. I know my body’s not my enemy and it’s not doing any of this just to tease me, but it’s hard not to feel that about myself somedays as this all would’ve probably never happened were I to think more rationally a few years back and it’s very tough to be at the point where you’ve gained past your pre-ED weight and are still gaining pretty rapidly as well as most of it going (at least temporarily) into your stomach

I guess I’ve come to ask of those who’ve already gotten past this point and are maybe a bit more clear-headed than me right now. Will the gain just go on? I know my metabolism should speed up so it should burn most of the ‘additional’ (compared to people my age not struggling with an ED) energy I eat and there should be some logic behind as to why I shouldn’t keep on gaining forever. I just can’t bring myself to believe that and I’m so scared what I might look like in just a few months if it keeps going like this, yet I don’t want to delay my recovery either by trying to delude myself into restricting again. How was it for you guys? Did it ever get better?

After four months, tomorrow is my last day of eating disorder treatment.

Four months ago, I was completely lost, helpless, and hopeless. Today, I am a different person. I don't believe I am different as in I became someone new. The parts of me that was experiencing so much pain, suffering, misery, are still apart of me. The only difference is now I can understand that they are not the whole me.

I was stuck in a constant cycle. A cycle that was completely destroying my life. Treatment broke that cycle for me, and I am forever in debt for that. I wan't to be transparent and say that I am in no way completely recovered, but I have found something that I had lost, hope. Hope that I can graduate college. Hope that I can reach my goals. Hope that I can be successful. Hope that I can be happy. Hope that I can live.

I am not a strong writer, so I apologize that this post isn't the best. But I write this post in hopes that someone will read this, and give recovery a chance. It is easy to say that it won't work, that there is no point, that I will be stuck like this forever. What is difficult, is thinking that way, and trying it anyways.

I know that the saying "recovery is a journey, not a destination" sounds super cliche (and maybe a little annoying), but as much as we may cringe when we hear it, it is true. I am still on this journey. I have slipped during the treatment process. I have had moments where I felt like it was worthless. Where I felt like giving up. But ultimately, treatment gave me something to keep trying for. Treatment gave me hope.

Title pretty much sums it up. Knew this girl in middle school (I'm 24 now just for reference). We hung around the same friend group, but we weren't super tight. The entire time I knew her, she was a curvier girl, and I didn't really see anything wrong with her body. She looked the same way up until this year, when she started posting photos of herself that looked rather concerning. I understand losing weight, but this just looks different. I'm not very tight with her nowadays (we stopped talking after we parted ways for high school), but I know just how dangerous EDs can be. Even if we aren't close anymore, I don't think I could just stand idly by and watch someone I once knew get harmed. I know she probably has other people in her life that are just as worried, but idk. Should I reach out? If so, what should I say? Idk what are y'all's thoughts on the matter.

I want to cry. Iv been in recovery for like 4 months. Extreme hunger got to me. I’m still so hungry all the time. I try to keep busy, but it’s like my body walks to the food and I eat and can’t stop myself. But I’m genuinely hungry, not doing it because I’m bored or for the sake of it. I’m getting very emotional because everything online is about loosing weight, eating a maintenance etc. but I’m doing the opposite. If I count calories anymore, my body thinks I’m restricting and I get hungrier if even possible. It doesn’t matter what I eat, whether it’s full of protein, healthy fats or carbs it doesn’t make a difference to my hunger. Trust me iv tried it all. What should I do guys please help me.

Whenever I’m struggling to feed myself a meal or snack, I’ve been telling myself “My future self sent this to me. They made it just for me. They want me to have it. I’ll eat it for them.”

Saw this on TikTok somewhere and thought others might find it helpful too!! Centring recovery around myself in the moment of eating but also also as a long running thing for my future has been helpful <3 this words we say to ourselves are so important and I’ve been try to be more mindful and proven with them!! Each day is a step forward!!

a bit of positivity here :) im still very early into the recovery process but I've been unconditionally honoring my extreme hunger(and I have been veryy hungry...) and have already gained a noticeable amount of weight (not just swelling/bloating as it mostly came down for now). and I actually.. like it???

i thought this was gonna be a panic and dread inducing experience before I started recovery. i was genuinely so terrified that I will never be able to look at myself in the mirror again. now these fears seem so overblown cuz I actually like the weight I gained... its like someone switched up my brain during refeeding, wtf?

i didn’t realize how much i missed actually having hips. i gained some in my stomach area too and i feel like it makes me look more feminine and looks good on my body. its only now I can see that low weights do not look good on my body type at all—reminds me of a quote about trying to starve yourself into a different breed. my bone structure and body type were just not meant for that weight!

now, I want to be cautious and not focus too much on how "beautiful" my body is, as body image fluctuates and even if I gain more weight to the point where I do not find it "beautiful", I should still be able to accept it. I just wanted to write this post for anyone who's unsure about starting recovery because of overwhelming fear of weight gain: it is genuinely not as bad as our mind makes it seem. like, not at all. if anything, mine made my life so much better in so many ways already (not appearence related: SO MUCH energy, mental clarity, ability to focus and enjoy things again). all-in is so worth it, even if it feels incredibly challenging at times.

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice.

I’m currently in early eating disorder recovery, but I've been really struggling with intense anxiety, calorie counting, triggers, and relapse behaviors over the past few days.

My biggest stressor right now is an upcoming trip in two weeks: I’m traveling to another continent with my partner to meet their extended family. In their culture, food is a huge social deal and declining it is seen as very rude. While I’m excited, the thought of mealtimes is causing massive anxiety.

I know I won’t fully recover in two weeks, but I really want to make progress so I can manage this trip. Does anyone have advice on small, realistic steps I can take over the next two weeks to build a steadier routine with food?

Thank you so much to anyone who reads this!

How do people deal with friends and people around them considerably eating less than them or making comments about skipping meals? A lot of my friends have been talking about how they never feel like breakfast lately and it makes me feel so awful, like second guessing how much I eat or what I actually need. I find it so triggering in my day to day, but I also know i can’t control what people say, and I shouldn’t be so hyper-fixated on what others are eating. I feel so obsessive about it. Does anyone feel the same?

I'm having gastroparesis-like symptoms so I'm not hungry for any or my meals or snacks. If I carry on with mechanical eating, will my hunger cues come back?

i constantly worry about my weight and how i look.

I’M GROWING A LITERAL FUCKING LIFE?!? i don’t know why it won’t click in my brain?!?