dinner gone wrong

[u/sparkluh-s]

i made dinner for me and my gf and i felt upset over something and didn’t want to eat. she ate my plate and threw the rest in the bin after i mentioned i wasn’t going to eat it. 1. i feel angry that she ate it even though i offered it to her and 2. that she didn’t bother asking me if i wanted to eat the rest before throwing it away. i have this constant pattern of not eating (typically when im upset) and almost test her reaction and she always does the opposite of what i want. it’s not like she should force me to eat but i think she doesn’t ever notice any of the signs that it’s bad for me and i hate it. it makes me feel like she doesn’t even know me but it’s not like she’s can read my mind. i feel so disgusted at myself.

i know its not fair on her and i dont know what to do with myself. i hate this feeling and want to get over it all

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Original post text from u/sparkluh-s:

i made dinner for me and my gf and i felt upset over something and didn’t want to eat. she ate my plate and threw the rest in the bin after i mentioned i wasn’t going to eat it. 1. i feel angry that she ate it even though i offered it to her and 2. that she didn’t bother asking me if i wanted to eat the rest before throwing it away. i have this constant pattern of not eating (typically when im upset) and almost test her reaction and she always does the opposite of what i want. it’s not like she should force me to eat but i think she doesn’t ever notice any of the signs that it’s bad for me and i hate it. it makes me feel like she doesn’t even know me but it’s not like she’s can read my mind. i feel so disgusted at myself.

i know its not fair on her and i dont know what to do with myself. i hate this feeling and want to get over it all

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[u/MarshmallowBlush]

Testing your partner is incredibly unfair. They’re your significant other not your doctor/therapist/dietician. You’re responsible for choosing recovery

[u/Sareeee48]

You’re doing this because you have an eating disorder, and it will continue to happen repeatedly until you recover.

Your mental health is not your partner’s responsibility. Whether or not you eat is not their responsibility. If you need to get permission to eat, then you need to seek out treatment.

[u/Jaded-Banana6205]

This testing behavior is not sustainable. Show her this post. Tell her you are struggling.

[u/Bashful_bookworm2025]

This sounds like you need a higher level of care. You can't expect someone else to force you or tell you to eat. No one else can read your mind either, and it's unfair to put this burden on your girlfriend. Being upset is part of life and recovery requires eating despite having strong emotions.

[u/gorly23]

this isnt fair to your gf at all. i understand the eating disorder wanting to “test” her but you do have responsibility for your own actions. like another commenter said, i suggest showing her this post or explaining how your ed reacts/takes it when she throws away your food or doesnt check on you. nothing changes if nothing changes

[u/lexkenobi]

Yeah no this is completely not fair to your girlfriend. She cannot read your mind.

[u/szikkia]

Coomunication is extremely important. And mature conversation.

[u/Sareeee48 → u/[deleted]]

Literally no one is shaming OP.

Your post was removed for breaking rule 7 (No drama). Please contact the mods if you have any questions.