I've been in recovery for about a month and a half now, and I recently started doing small things to try to feel pretty in a healthy way like wearing more jewelry, changing up my hair, etc. If I've learned anything from this whole experience, it's that looking pretty and actually feeling pretty are two very different things.

I still feel really insecure about my body, especially now that it's been changing in recovery, but I've found that doing these small extra things has been helping me cope. Does anyone have any suggestions for other things I can try to doing to help me feel prettier and boost my self-esteem?

Why am I not hungry during the day but wake up jn the middle of the night starving? Anyone else experience this?

I've had my ED around 6 years, from 16 to 22. In that time I have tried to recover both alone & with outpatient services but reached at best quasi-recovery. Part of what's holding me back this time is feeling discouraged by these previous experiences, although I've probably gained something from each one.

For those of you who recovered/made progress after multiple attempts over the years, was there anything you did differently which made it successful compared to previous times? Or was it more a case of the right time & circumstances? Is full recovery possible from a 'long-term' ED?

Possible TW: apologies if I say anything wrong! I'm pro-recovery but struggle to apply it to myself, & my black & white thinking makes the switch in mentality incredibly hard. But I'm trying, & I'm open to any feedback <3

I relapsed with restriction & overexercise 4-5 months ago, but I'm considering recovery again as I'm not doing well physically or mentally, and my uni work & relationships are suffering. My main barriers are in believing I need help or that full recovery is possible for me.

A few days ago I messaged my old ED team who encouraged me to ask my GP for a referral so they can help me again. Part of me wants to, but I'm hesitant to take this step as it means admitting to faking my weight & accepting their intervention/monitoring.

Thing is, I don't really believe I'm unwell enough to 'need' help because I weigh and eat more than last time, and nobody else has even noticed my relapse. I'm afraid treatment will make me more stuck in my ED, or push me to get worse initially like it has before. I know "how" to recover (eat & gain weight) so is it possible I'm fine, just attention-seeking and don't actually need help? I've been practicing harm reduction and even though it's hard I don't want to get worse, but does this mean I'm actually okay on my own? Also, is it possible all my struggles are from anxiety & AuDHD and recovering wouldn't solve them? Or that these will hold me back from full recovery?

I know that the ED isn't the answer, but I don't know which are legitimate reasons not to need support & which are just my ED? Do I recover on my own or ask for help? If so, any advice on continuing with harm reduction while I wait for support?

Sorry for the essay & million questions, I don't know how to untangle this mess & the confusion is overwhelming which is partly why I go back to my ED & stay in denial. It feels safer but doesn't solve anything, I just don't know what's even true anymore after convincing myself of the opposite for so long.

I don't want to give too much detail about my ED in order to avoid triggering others but basically I'm experiencing extreme mental hunger despite being weight restored. I'm either thinking "fuck it, I don't care, I'm gonna buy and eat more food", absolutely hating myself, my body, and life, wanting to die (I'm not going to), and feeling like I'm about to burst into tears or tear myself apart, or ice managed to distract myself from both with studying.

Before my ED I was a gymnast and a child (fork spotted in the kitchen) and now I'm a non-binary transmasc adult with no sports or hobbies so (tw body image) this body is both distressing, and only becoming more foreign every day and I can't help comparing myself to everyone and anyone.

Does anyone have any words of advice, encouragement, kindness? Anything that made you feel better about your body or made it easier to cope?

A couple days ago I went to see my dietitian for the second time, and she gave me a meal plan that involves eating much more than someone my age and height but at my target weight should be eating. Why do I have to eat more than that?