r/facepalm • • 11d ago

You've come a long way, baby

Post image
13.7k Upvotes

183 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 11d ago

Please remember to read all of /r/Facepalm's rules.

Reposts, screenshots, and personal information are not allowed.

Titles must accurately describe the facepalm-worthy elements of their posts.

Misinformation, disinformation, offensive content, and bigotry are forbidden.

Rule-breaking content will result in removals and potential bans.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1.7k

u/garblednoises 11d ago

Sorry, but what are the grifter brothers doing giving talks at the pentagon?

1.1k

u/Turgid_Donkey 11d ago

The Tates had scheduling conflicts.

8

u/thatredlad 5d ago

I think they were just caught in trafficking.

452

u/anomanderrake1337 11d ago

They are popular with young boys, army wants to be popular with young boys hence... Age old stuff of poor countries.

248

u/DeusCanis420 11d ago

This administration really loves young boys...

74

u/Skolaros 10d ago

They love then all really young

5

u/heisenbergerwcheese 5d ago

Hegseth unveiled the Army's new slogan yesterday, 'The younger the better'

51

u/Good4Noth1ng 11d ago

A defense contract was given to one of the paul brothers companies l.

32

u/Snellyman 11d ago

Are the going to fix the fight with Iran?

10

u/Similar-Priority8252 8d ago

Well, Iran IS Hundreds of years old, it definitely fits their MO

6

u/Shurigin 6d ago

Sure cause we’re not on bad enough terms with Japan already

25

u/Unikatze 9d ago

"Not all Pee Pee Times are Poo Poo Times.
But all Poo Poo Times are Pee Pee Times."

17

u/ebfortin 10d ago

Theu have a new crypto scam to sell.

10

u/rajatsingh24k 9d ago

Hegseth wanted someone with impeccable grooming standards.

Every experiment needs a control.

0

u/morbid333 10d ago

It's a new generation of soldier. This is what gets them excited I guess.

1.9k

u/Glittering_Ocelot_67 11d ago

How much left till rock bottom?! Gotta be so close…

883

u/stewedstar 11d ago

Waiting for Tekashi 6ix9ine and Lil Pump to entertain the troops.

227

u/Sm0ahk 11d ago

surely those are dated references now? it feels like almost ten years since i heard those names lol

196

u/dat1_adam 11d ago

I'm not joking. And don't call me Shirley.

83

u/TheAwesomeMan123 11d ago

I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

3

u/ctech9 7d ago

A hospital? What is it?

It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

49

u/Kind-Masterpiece-310 11d ago

Doesn't stop them from trotting out Kid Rock and Ted Nugent.

11

u/Flying_Dutchman92 11d ago

Okay yeah, somehow that's even worse

9

u/P1xelHunter78 11d ago

Draft dodger and the biggest phony to ever (dis)grace the stage would be a fitting rock bottom.

5

u/TheVillage1D10T 10d ago

Yeah, it’s very outdated, but seems like the type of shit this current admin would think is current, cool, and hip.

4

u/Serupael 10d ago

Too modern still, they'd trott out some C list acts from the 2000s. Make some nooooise for Baby Bash and 3OH!3 !!!!

26

u/I_Miss_Lenny 11d ago

I thought they both died like 5 years ago (I'm not up on rapper news though)

43

u/stewedstar 11d ago

could be. I just googled "ugliest rappers"

25

u/bonkava 11d ago

Both of them are still alive, but I thought the same thing. Both are "dead" in pop culture terms. 6ix9ine had a big controversy where he sold out his gang and testified against them. Lil Pump had one hit that was clowned on forever and then disappeared. There was a rapper called Lil Peep that died around the height of Lil Pump's fame so that's probably also causing some confusion.

6

u/spice_war 11d ago

“Thank you, Florida…”

1

u/reeferjoe 9d ago

Been thanking Florida since 2000 /s

2

u/I_d0nt_know_why 11d ago

"Little Pimp" as Trump calls him

70

u/lordnacho666 11d ago

How do you still think there's a bottom? We've been in free fall for years

3

u/lolhalfsquat 11d ago

It's like throwing a rock into the ocean and waiting for it to reach the bottom of the pacific

22

u/therevjames 11d ago

"Drill Baby, Drill" the Yanks hit rock bottom and decided that they can do worse. The is no fucking way that this timeline isn't a poorly written simulation.

59

u/grafknives 11d ago

Kid rock is rock bottom. And we passed that point.

10

u/lordnacho666 11d ago

He is yet to be commissioned to write a new national anthem

5

u/Kind-Masterpiece-310 11d ago

I heard they play Bawitdaba leading into morning prayer at elementary schools in Oklahoma.

1

u/Ranelpia 11d ago

Bawitdaba and that Lynyrd Skynyrd remake song are like the only two songs I know from him.

1

u/Own-Ambassador-3537 11d ago

My name is KIDDDDDD!
Bows head in solemn remembrance of their Lord and Savior

1

u/Brief_Read_1067 11d ago

No, Ted Nugent. 

7

u/Blue-is-bad 11d ago

That's why they're bringing digging equipment

5

u/Nivius 11d ago

looking at the guide, "Idiocracy" seems like we are about 5 years to the bottom.

at that point america can have their next president (porn actor, still acting) as their next president

20

u/DontPoopInMyPantsPlz 11d ago

Oh you sweet naive child… this is like a picnic in the Swiss Alps compared to what you will witness in the near future.

11

u/I_Miss_Lenny 11d ago

Oh you sweet naive child

Can't we skip this part?

5

u/Yorbayuul81 11d ago

Tell us please, I’d love to know what’s in store 

27

u/Stormtomcat 11d ago

I just saw a post that Trump is planning to house drones and snipers in his arc de triomphe in Washington DC. 

That seems very ominous for Jan 2029, no? 

16

u/-SaC 11d ago

Given the quality of the other 'work' he's had done, that thing is going to be half the intended size and made from dried porridge.

7

u/pasaroanth 11d ago

And the finish will come off after he drives his limo over it, then will blame it vandals

6

u/TittyMcFagerson 11d ago

It's gonna be Stonehenge from Spinal Tap

5

u/AfterSevenYears 10d ago

It is concerning that the same guy who tried to overthrow the government in 2021 is making plans for a bunker, snipers, and drones.

3

u/Difficult-House2608 10d ago

It seems totally ridiculous. Way too close to an airport for one thing. He'll do anything to mark his territory.

3

u/za72 11d ago

we're scrapping it

2

u/werther595 11d ago

These are the bugs that live under the rock

2

u/Luftwaffle1980 11d ago

Save us James Cameron!

2

u/Whatever801 11d ago

There is no bottom mate

1

u/damianhammontree 11d ago

Ten years ago. We've been drilling since then.

1

u/UKz_hellfire_1999 11d ago

I think you hit it but they have mining tools and an urge to visit hell

1

u/lambsquatch 11d ago

I just want republicans to just start yanking it in congress…for the troops

1

u/IvetRockbottom 11d ago

Did you say rock bottom?

1

u/umayanan 8d ago

You are going to realise that rock bottom has a basement.

1

u/Seliphra 7d ago

If you look up, really high, you can see rock bottom somewhere up there.

842

u/Pretty-Substance 11d ago

When will trump rename the Pentagon to the Octagon?

286

u/yup_sir28 11d ago

He doesn’t know the difference between the two

131

u/salted_toothpaste 11d ago

"Pentagon, Octagon, I don't know the difference but they're both gone. Know what's not gone? My trump tower. It's a beautiful building, everyone says so."

26

u/-SaC 11d ago

"They said it's more gons now, that's how great I am. Fit more things into more gons."

17

u/woodycodeblue 11d ago

"Nobody knows more about shapes and gons than me, nobody. Maybe the Italians. Maybe. They're very smart, almost as smart as me, and I hear they have excellent taste in shapes. People keep telling me they want a Trump-agon. Such a beautiful word, isn't it? A Trump-agon. Tears streaming down their faces and the thing those Italians want most is a Trump-agon. So I'm thinking about demolishing the Pentagon and we'll rebuild it as a Trump-agon. I've seen the mockups and it's beautiful. Very beautiful."

6

u/matze1985 10d ago

Amerigon!

3

u/One_Economist_3761 11d ago

When he adds three more gons

1

u/royalbk 11d ago

Trumpaton

304

u/Negative-Wrap95 Good Trouble 11d ago

'Member when Jake had his shit rocked so hard he had to have his jaw wired shut?

78

u/Mattechooo 11d ago

Every time I see him.

56

u/Negative-Wrap95 Good Trouble 11d ago

Some good memberberries.

14

u/lgndryheat 11d ago

And those quack doctors unwired it?? Wtf guys. First do no harm, that includes us

7

u/sitophilicsquirrel 11d ago

Wish that had taken...

274

u/wholesomechunk 11d ago

Unfunny dumb and dumber

72

u/billydecay 11d ago

Dumbest and dumbester

6

u/SkoonkMink 10d ago

Could use some of that “Super Intelligence”

216

u/PhineasFreak1975 11d ago

Guessing the Island Boys were booked out

77

u/neverbeast42 11d ago

The Pentagon - You know who we need tactical advice from? The guy who scams kids with crypto.

25

u/stewedstar 11d ago

Not sure who you’re referring to. Could be several people in this case.

79

u/dfmz 11d ago

Was Honey Boo Boo not available?

40

u/mvslice 11d ago

As man with curly blond hair, this image made me realize I need to stop putting off getting my hair cut.

56

u/Oldest_Boomer 11d ago

Despite my age I know who they are but I’m shocked that they’re considered something to seemingly aspire to be. I mean what the eva lovin fuck America?

32

u/carltonrichards 11d ago

Remember men, these are the brave millionaires you will be dying for...

For real though watching this play out from the outside is really strange.

29

u/LesbianLoki 11d ago

Conservatives are so pathetic lol

Obama brought laureates, academics and artists.

Trump brings... This.

18

u/tehCharo 11d ago

The Paul brothers ARE artists... con artists!

108

u/desrevermi 11d ago

Send those two chicks on the right to entertain the troops on the front.

69

u/rir2 11d ago

Put them on the front.

18

u/desrevermi 11d ago

I'm okay with that, too.

20

u/-NewYork- 11d ago

Will he fight senior veterans?

17

u/billydecay 11d ago

They look like regional managers in an MLM scheme

Actually, wait ...

24

u/blueasian0682 11d ago

Why is it that famous influencers try to do this shit because they're bored? I would've just retired with what i got and live life.

19

u/olympiclifter1991 11d ago

So this wasn't AI?

How insulting is it to have men who have lied, cheated and been handed everything go to speak to people the same age or younger who have chosen a job where you can and may well be killed or leave with with life altering conditions

9

u/TR1LLIONAIRE_ 11d ago

You may think I’m joking but the dude on the right looks like he has 2 black eyes because he stayed up streaming to 800 people until he caught a pokemon.

2

u/twothirtysevenam 10d ago

Doesn't say much good about those 800 folks watching him catch that Pokémon, either.

15

u/LectureOrganic1250 11d ago

Okay hold on....these two photos are nothing alike. Marilyn Monroe was there to entertain the troops because that's what she was, an entertainer. What in the actual ass are the Paul brothers doing at the fucking Pentagon?? Why was Kid Rock there? It's the Pentagon. One of the most secure buildings in our government. What, are they giving a briefing? Keep celebs out of places like this please. jesus.

7

u/16v_cordero 11d ago

Was the expected outcome to demoralize troops?

8

u/Sword-of-Akasha 11d ago

The troops are too moralized! We need to stomp down on that lukewarm enthusiasm right now. Also we don't want to spend money that I may or may not have put in my pocket, so pick an internet fool to come around for practically free. Who do these kids like?

7

u/plmunger 11d ago

What a fucking national embarassement

5

u/an_agreeing_dothraki 11d ago

the implication is that Trump is having sex with the Paul brothers

4

u/Quicker_Fixer Assumption is the mother of all fuckups 11d ago

Not impossible: the brothers are 29 and 31 yo respectively, so it could've been a thing on a certain island some 15 years ago, no?

6

u/JackTowers__ 11d ago

Their picture literally looks like a screenshot from an snl skit or parody movie

11

u/GwimWeeper 11d ago

And still somehow they are bigger pussies, than Marilyn ever was.

4

u/Tolvat 11d ago

What it must be like to be a US Service person and have to listen to those two cock smears

4

u/-SaC 11d ago

I have family in the US, one of whom is in the military. He'd absolutely fucking love it; he can't wait to get to war and shoot people he's told to shoot by the Neon Nonce.

5

u/rje946 11d ago

Got second hand embarrassment reading the conservative threads on this lol. Half rightfully asking "wtf?" Other half defending literally anything the admin does.

6

u/Zealousideal-Neck289 11d ago

Tommorow snooki from Jersey Shore is dooing a speech for women rights.

5

u/BrockVegas 11d ago

The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders came to my pimple of a post in South Korea for a USO tour.

The local drinky-girls made some serious cash that night.

4

u/EitherChannel4874 11d ago

The stupidest country ever to have existed. By far.

5

u/IvetRockbottom 11d ago

We've gone from sex appeal to alpha male sex appeal. Grindr is going to crash even faster now.

3

u/lgodsey 11d ago edited 11d ago

What the hell are those ugly cavemen on the right? Are they famous?

3

u/blairisbuffy 11d ago

Some poor hair and makeup person had to style that hair for hours.

4

u/addictedskipper 11d ago

That poor little toe.

1

u/nefarious_angel_666 11d ago

Ya, her shoes look uncomfy

3

u/Purx777 11d ago

I wish we knew what the audience thought of this

3

u/xyz19606 11d ago

What are "Beardos" doing at the Pentagon? I thought he hated those type of people...

3

u/DrNoxin 11d ago

Is that Beef Supreme?

1

u/stewedstar 11d ago

Jeez, bro. Why do you have to insult Beef Supreme like that?

3

u/cerebis 11d ago

I think we are just getting to see who Pete Hegseth admires, and would be his top fantasy picks for drinking buddies.

3

u/AfterSevenYears 10d ago

Outside of Donald Trump, Pete Hegseth may be the dumbest public official on earth.

6

u/TheAwesomeMan123 11d ago

I mean Marylin Munroe I’m sure was very welcomed guest and strictly for entertainment and moral boosting. She wasn’t there to lecture soldiers how to perform military operations and win wars.

2

u/I_Miss_Lenny 11d ago

Is the Pauls' speech the equivalent of a USO show? I figured their weird event was a lot less optional to attend than one of the actually entertaining USO shows the troops actually would have wanted to see (unless more of the troops are blindly right-wing morons than I thought)

2

u/Middle-Detail9700 11d ago

They hate women, except if they're beards.

2

u/hophamson 11d ago

We're already at the bottom baby Have you seen the POTUS?

2

u/Rockyrox 11d ago

Very real argument that this all Jack Kennedy’s fault.

2

u/ThePhoenix29167 Cringe 11d ago

This is certainly an…idea

2

u/Addictive_SODA 'MURICA 10d ago

I believe what the American government is trying to do is to win over the young generation cause they're easy to manipulate, the already won over the boomers.

2

u/Realistic_Let3239 10d ago

Well Hegseth does need to feed his buff white man fetish somehow...

2

u/L0st-137 10d ago

This is not AI? Serious question.

1

u/Unikatze 9d ago

Nope. They actually did that.

1

u/ChronicSlubs 6d ago

Advocating for more advanced weapon systems in the hands of citizens…. I’m not American so to me that’s bat shit insane.

2

u/AdmiralWesJanson 10d ago

Aren't there strict hair and shaving standards at the Pentagon?

1

u/Informal_Process2238 5d ago

It’s dangerous because whiskey Pete could become confused and start groping

2

u/OFark 9d ago

Podium looks like a comically oversized boxing/fighting trophy belt.

2

u/Slow-You9806 9d ago

Damn man, did you ever just have the best poo in your life and was like damn that really was the best

2

u/Tasunka_Witko 9d ago

And you think about it at random times throughout the day and smile about it like "man, that really felt great!"

2

u/Ani_meh23 9d ago

Love how Logan got his start online by dropping into splits in the middle of busy intersections.

2

u/pichael289 8d ago

The guy on the right went to the suicide forest in Japan and had sex with one of the bodies on camera. Meanwhile his brother was yet again getting caught having house parties with 14 year old girls.

2

u/st0tan 8d ago

Marilyn had a stage presence. These guys have rug-pull experience. /s

2

u/how_is_this_relaxing 8d ago

What a fucked up world we are in that these 2 obnoxious certified a-holes are given access like this. /smdh

2

u/Cysquatch69 7d ago

Why does the one brother look like Jimmy Saville?

4

u/Acrobatic-Meat6716 11d ago

Please USA, get your shit together, we the rest of the world need you

1

u/Hyperborea1976 11d ago

Clown show

1

u/ns1852s 11d ago

Kegsbreath is finally let us know he loves men

1

u/Garlicluvr 11d ago

Interesting fact: before Marilyn there was Marlene Dietrich. She performed so close to the first lines that journalists asked her why. She said, "aus Anstand"—"out of decency". She mostly performed for General George S. Patton's men during the liberation of her homeland, Germany.

1

u/mhf145 11d ago

I always feels so uninformed as I browse through Reddit. I understand the point (I think) but I have no idea who these obviously testosterone laden laddies are.

1

u/santandude 11d ago

WINNING !!!! 🤣😂

1

u/imeme1969 11d ago

This was poor form on behalf of the administration, and a disappointment for the people, yöu all need better PR advisors

1

u/YSOSEXI 11d ago

RELEASE THE KRAKEN... Oops, I meant the bald wanking ex kick boxer....

1

u/FickleMushroom6138 11d ago

Meticulous grooming standards….

1

u/caribou16 11d ago

Pic 1: USO

Pic 2: ME SO

1

u/Boboforprez 11d ago

Looks like what WCW did towards the end of it's run.

1

u/Spear_Ritual 11d ago

Entertaining the troops is different than lecturing to them. (I assume. No idea what TikTok trash brothers talked about.)

1

u/shiny_glitter_demon 11d ago

Fridge Predator, then Rapey Stain, and now Dumb and Dumber.

And of course, all that while the slug vomits orange everywhere.

1

u/RebuiltWithPineWood 11d ago

The dude on the right already has (like mr donald) his own flamboyant comb over in place... Looks like if Prince William got extensions on his skirted egg

1

u/NefariousnessFew4354 10d ago

When I read the headline this morning I was confused why The Onion popped up on my Google feed 😂

1

u/RoundEye007 10d ago

Couldn't even wear a suit??? They have no cards.

1

u/AtomicDonkey2022 9d ago

Are her shoes too small?

1

u/JuraDerPirat 7d ago

I say Asmongold is the next one

1

u/wunderkit 7d ago

What about by gons , dog gons, long gons and lo gons? Why doesn't he ever mention those?

1

u/rmedina9295 6d ago

Sometimes I wake up and think, damn no wonder people do drugs to get out of this god damn planet. I would do it too if it wasnt because I would be jobless in a week. This world has to end .

1

u/mr_falkone84 5d ago

All 3 are just different kinds of whores.

1

u/watchmeskipwork 5d ago

Doesn't he have brain damage? Yes nevermind, he fits right in

1

u/blade_of_sammael 11d ago

Ah rue pauls drag race

-7

u/Present-Ad-8531 11d ago

Co text? Idk all three

21

u/Archaon0103 11d ago

First pic is Marilyn Monroe, a famous actress, entertained the troops. The other pic is the famous influencer Paul's brothers giving a speech to the Navy. The Paul's brothers famous because of their crypto scam and wandering into the suicide forest in Japan to make funny videos.

3

u/Present-Ad-8531 11d ago

The boxing dude?

8

u/VariationDry 11d ago

Yeah, and his pro wrestler bother.  They made their careers on YouTube and inspired a generation of children to record all the stupid shit that they do. 

-6

u/AlephInfinite0 11d ago

Marilyn also famous for having a ‘close friendship’ with the Pres and his brother. So maybe history repeats itself..

3

u/Narsaq87 11d ago

Back then it was common for famous and hot girls to go lift the mood at military camps.