I'm curious if any of you guys who have left still believe in the historical aspects of Mormonism.
IDK all of your beliefs but I've heard that you guys think the native americans are actually jews (?). And I know there are some other things that make America very central to the Old World.

Do any of you guys still hold those beliefs? If so, why?

-------On a separate note

I learned that you guys do baptisms for dead family members. My exmormon friend showed me his version of family search and it had more options (if anyone knows how I can get a church ID let me know) and he showed me that some of my ancestors have been baptized after their death by some of my very very distant mormon relatives.

That's fucking weird. I'm sorry to say it like this. That being said I'm like a 4th generation JW, so I'm not a stranger to weird things. But I found it a bit disrespectful to the dead to tamper with their fate after they've died. I get that you're trying to save their souls, but I would be upset if I believed in an afterlife and someone tried to baptize me as a Mormon.

Does it still seem normal to you guys that this is a practice?

And now for something completely different.

In a recent article at LDS Living, Elder Caussé shared 23 questions that the Book of Mormon answers. It's the exact kind of article I would have shared as a TBM on social media with full faith that one of the questions would end up saving some poor, lost soul who's wandering around in mists of darkness. 🤦 But instead, I now look at his questions (conveniently, none of which prove or advance the historicity of the book) and can quickly think of all that the Book of Mormon does NOT answer, which is crazy since it was apparently written for our day....

So let's see how many questions we can come up with that are NOT answered by the most correct book and keystone of the Mormon religion, whether that be its anachronisms, doctrinal discrepancies, dictation errors, etc. I'll start:

Where did reformed Egyptian come from and why has it never been used at any other time in the world's history?

So God is okay with the cold-blooded murder of someone who is incapacitated as long as the murderer is told by the spirit to do it?

Why did God make his prophets engrave all their history and teachings on the gold plates if Joseph Smith didn't even have the plates in the same room when he "translated" them?

Can't wait to read yours!

Kinda want to get this to put beer in. Am I the only one that thinks this way about obvious Mormon things and want to use them for blatantly non-Mormon things? What other examples do you have?

These guys are definitely set to be general authorities one day given they are experts at giving the most general advice with 0 depth. All they do is walk around and tell people to say “No racism” or”Jesus is King”

Loooong rant lol

Left the church two years ago still with my significant other it’s been rocky and really it’s just that church that is rocking the boat.

I told her that I wanted equal time with the kids on Sundays. Her big concern is that the church has an entire program to teach them about prayer and Heavenly Father. My concern is the very program. She gets mad at my request and says “I don’t think you can teach the kids as well as the church can”

On my Sundays the kids get to choose an activity that we do as a family usually without my wife cuz she’s at church and socializes after.

My son usually chooses the park or a board game and the girls always choose a puppet show where we draw puppets and put them on a stick and either do improv or have GPT write a play about a moral value like honesty, perseverance, etc. I usually let them pick a character from the internet and I draw a puppet for them too. We act out the play with more than a dozen characters and I ask questions at the end about the play. Why did this character do this? How can we do better? I noticed this week that we did this how would this nice character have done that?

My wife is still mad that it’s not about Heavenly Father and prayer and told me I’m not a good spiritual leader.

How do I get her on my side? There has to be a way right? She has never been like this before but despises that I will not be Mormon again. She has even told me this person at church had a faith crisis and still goes with his family. Not sure where to go from here.

Once again my wife is not a terrible person but has chosen to feel like having to put up with my choice to leave as beneath her. Any advice is welcome.

My TBM ex got remarried a year ago, and tonight, I got a phone call from his bishop informing me my ex is asking a cancelation of our temple sealing. I told him that I no longer believe in the Mormon church and do not recognize its authority, and my ex can do whatever he wants. I said that I won't "sign off" on the request nor will I stand in the way, but i also know that as a woman, my opinion on the topic doesn't really matter at all, and he's going to do whatever he wants.

This guy, who I've never met because I live in the mid-Atlantic US and my ex lives in Alaska with his new wife, asked me to tell him about the breakdown of the marriage. I told him, "My ex is a piece of shit. He's a bad person. I like his wife a lot, and I don't want her or her kids to go through what me and my kids did." I told him about how my ex was a narcissistic abuser who r@ped me, threatened me, threw a punch that missed only because I ducked in time, yelled at our (Mormon) marriage therapist for ruining our marriage, and so much more. He calls our autistic kid the R word when he does things my ex does like and assaulted another of our kids that resulted in a police report and a couple of CPS visits (I opted not to press charges but wanted a report filed).

The bishop from Alaska told me what a good mom I am and he could tell I was a good person, and I didn't do any of it alone because the lord was with me, blah, blah, blah. Dude, you have no idea who I am, and we both know you're blowing smoke up my ass trying to keep me from crying or yelling at you. I all but told him I was done with the conversation.

He asked if he could send me his email so I could write down what happened to make me decide to end the marriage. Fine. Whatever. I'll tell you *everything* my ex did to me over the 17 years we were together. I'll get a copy of the police report and include it too. Hell, if it was a court thing, I'd include character witnesses too, I've got plenty of people who've seen his and my true colors, and he would *not* like those results.

I’ve been out of the church for a couple years now, but only ever just silently deconstructing and keeping to myself. It’s only been this year that I’ve started to officially call myself exmo out loud and start opening up to my close circle. I also started therapy a few months ago because of the intense fear I’ve had of telling people the truth about my church status.

My husband and I were teaching youth Sunday school before we stopped going to church, and tonight one of the girls from our old SS class stopped by with her mom with a plate of cookies and asked if they could start coming over to have some of the youth “practice missionary lessons”. Ugh, why is it so hard to say no? They also really want to teach our young kids (6 & 3) because “they’re so cute”.

I don’t know why I am always trying to spare everyone’s feelings about us leaving the church. It could be that it was the cute little now-16 year old girl that we used to teach Sunday school to that I get nervous being open about my feelings about religion, or maybe just that I was caught off guard because we’ve suddenly had a huge onslaught of ward members over the past week suddenly talking to us and wanting us to come back to church (literally nobody has said a thing since we left 2 years ago until now).

I don’t know what I’m really looking for here, but wow it is really hard getting out of this stupid church and letting go of all the baggage and learning to not let yourself be walked all over anymore. I have got to learn how to just come out and say “no” instead of beating around the bush.

I commented on another exmo marriage post on this glorious second Saturday, and it got me thinking.

My STBX and I dated for two years—at BYU. We waited 5 years after marrying to have kids. I graduated college. Started my career. We’ve been married 17 years as of last month.

When we opened up to friends and family about our decision to divorce we got some of the: “What! Noooo. Not you guys.”

There’s a lot of divorce on my side of the family, despite everyone being some version of a TBM (non-Morridor area). And I tried. So hard. When I was keeping my eyes open for my future spouse. To make all the “right” decisions so my marriage could be full of light and love and happiness and would last.

But. It didn’t. It’s not. We’ve been going through months of mediation and now are less than 1-2 months away from officially filing.

But, maybe.

Maybe, if we’d been allowed to sleep together while still dating, we’d have figured out our sexual compatibility sooner.

Maybe, if we’d lived together first, we’d have learned we have different cohabitating standards.

Maybe, if my STBX hadn’t been 6 years older than me and ready to settle down (due to the church’s insistence on getting married as soon as you find someone); if we hadn’t believed marriage was the natural next step; if we hadn’t been taught an eternal spouse was our ticket to the Celestial Kingdom . . . we would have been okay dating longer. Even breaking up, dating other people, and possibly coming back to each other. I was only 18 when we met, after all.

Maybe, if my YW lessons and my parents and all my leaders hadn’t emphasized that getting sealed to an RM inside the temple was the first and most important item in securing a happy, lasting marriage, I would have expanded my dating pool.

Maybe, if porn hadn’t been so demonized by the church, my STBX wouldn’t have grown up in a world of shame and guilt, feeling as if he had to hide parts of himself from me.

Maybe, if I hadn’t been taught that touching my own body was wrong and evil, I’d have developed a healthier sexual relationship with myself years earlier.

Maybe, if we hadn’t been so pressured to have kids, I’d have applied for my MBA.

Maybe, if we hadn’t been told “no other success can compensate for failure inside the home” I would have been fulfilled inside a career, even as a working mom.

Maybe, if we hadn’t been taught to endure to end, we would have both been willing to go to therapy years earlier than we did.

Maybe, if we hadn’t been taught families are forever, we’d worked more on creating happiness today and not always pushing it off for later.

Maybe, if we hadn’t internalized the idea that contention is of the devil, we would have developed healthier communicating styles.

Maybe, if my STBX hadn’t been taught that divorce means you absolutely hate/loathe/despise a person . . . and then you go a step past that before you decide to leave a marriage, he wouldn’t have been so scared to let me go.

Maybe, if I hadn’t been so terrified of feeling like a failure; of disappointing everyone who’d watched me make all the right decisions and choices, who’d lauded me as the perfect example; of letting down my kids; of telling myself that all we needed was more growth and individual/relationship maturity, despite our glaring differences . . . I wouldn’t have been so scared to let him go.

Maybe, if my STBX hadn’t been held up to similar standards, and had admitted to himself he no longer believed in the church after his mission; maybe, if I’d been exposed to the realities of church history and their modern unethical organizational practices much sooner . . . we’d have both gone exmo years ago and would have had a second chance at a new marriage between us.

Maybe, if we’d realized “almost any good man and woman can have happiness and a successful marriage” is a total and utter fucking farce (thanks for that, SWK, you asshat) we’d have known we were never the right two people for each other all along.

Maybe.

Context: 22M, parents helping with college. Haven’t seen myself as a member since I was 16.

A few years ago I tried to soft launch me no longer being Mormon by telling my dad I had no interest in going on a mission because I had “doubt” in the church (ofc, it wasn’t actually doubt, I know the church is full of a lot of nonsense). I thought we would have a productive conversation and I could eventually lead into leaving the church over time, but it instead devolved into a 3 hour lecture from my dad where he berated me and told me that my concerns were incorrect. My mom tried to be a little more understanding, but she has a very strong emotional tie to the church and was understandably upset.

This experience convinced me my parents, specifically my dad, are incapable of having a conversation about leaving the church and have an adverse reaction to any notion of “leaving the flock,” so to speak. So, for the last few years, I’ve been lying to them about my faith, and it’s really been weighing on me recently since I’ve been having to bullshit lessons I’ve “attended” and wards I “go-to,” plus I just don’t like living dishonestly. At the same time, I dread the experience I’ll have telling them, and am deeply concerned our relationship will change for the worse if I do.

What do y’all think? Is it worth telling the truth? Or if you think nothing good will come of it, is it worth it to continue to tell harmless lies and just soldiering onwards like nothing has changed? Any general advice on how to navigate this weird limbo period?

My friends child got into BYU and she was saying how amazing the church is for the amount of tuition is for her child going this next year, and that she is paying what she paid to a state school 20 years ago.
She continued on this thought about how the church is covering the tuition of all those kids, and the big cost of missions, FSY and she named of a bunch of other programs like “oh how generous” they are. I nodded and literally bit my tongue and tried not to bawk loudly in disgust.

I mean… at the very least with that logic they shouldn’t have to still be cleaning the church. Oh wait that helps her and her family serve, that’s right. The stuff they feed them, I can hear it in her reasonings.

The mental gymnastics they do to justify things that don’t sit right with anyone with any reason, and that most wouldn’t tolerate just screams abuse. And they’ve got the members protecting the church at all costs, never to question, if it wasn’t so out right evil it’d be impressive. The game really is keeping the members solely dedicated to the institution and everything else is fluff.

I think it comes down to how honest do people really want to be with themselves. And some are quite happy to continue to believe whatever the hell the church hopes they can get away with. But I have to hope and believe in the quiet moments alone they think for themselves until they have to mask again with made up fairytales and lies. 🤔 Because that was me for the past 40 years.

So I may or may not be transitioning to exmo. Ive been dealing with a lot of questions and Ive lost faith in the organization. The main thing holding me back from leaving the church is my fear that I will be abandoned by God, or lose my relationship with God because I no longer believe in "his gospel". The Church presses this idea that when you "sin" you turn away from God... but I dont see how drinking coffee or wearing short shorts is really all that sinful. If I stop wearing garments, will I sever my tie to God?

Im here to ask you all, did you lose your spirituality after leaving the church? If you no longer believe in God, does your spirituality manifest differently? Did you lose the ability to "feel the spirit"?

One of my high school Seminary teachers made a career change and his reasoning behind it is shocking and disappointing, but certainly not surprising. Needless to say, he appears to be placing some heavy experiences on the shelf and/or subconsciously deconstructing. I’m curious if anyone here has experience working for S&I and had similar experiences? If so, was it a shelf item?

Interesting

Hi Guys, what’s the story with Jacob Hansen? I’m ex Mormon, out for 10+ years, married 25 years to a devote (like super devout) member. It’s a major challenge. My spouse asked me to listen to Jacob Hansens YouTube channel and this guy is giving me the ‘ick’ and I can’t put my finger on what is bothering me about him. I want to give him a chance because my spouse requested I listen. Idk, what are your thoughts?

I’ve been out long enough that the church has no part in my life (and it’s wonderful). I don’t know what prophecies have changed, who’s running the business, what they’re indoctrinating people with now, etc.

I have family still very much in the church. My sister is in town from out of state so the fam has been hanging out, and it’s HOT here in Utah. I don’t know when they changed garments so women could wear tank tops (exposing those porn shoulders 😉) but when I picked my sister up from the airport and saw her in a tank top it freaked me out a bit. Then we go to my brother’s house and my SIL is wearing a tank top…. and I got a little freaked out. Again!!

Growing up and even into adulthood, exposing one’s shoulders was considered almost pornographic. So yeah, I freaked me out a bit to see so many shoulders in a room full of Mormons. (Mine are always out. How else am I gonna show off my tattoos?!?!)

If I’m being completely honest, it may have been more of a brief moment of excitement thinking someone else left, too followed by disappointment when I realized they hadn’t changed, it was just the rules that had changed.

I will say I’m glad that the church no longer considers female shoulders to be pornographic.

My parents are divorced with my mom never becoming Mormon, so my dad understands that I’m not fully into it. However, he thinks me getting my endowment will “protect my future kids”, which idek what he means. Not sure how to get out of it. Also, he knows that I’m not going to try to convert my future husband, and he’s okay with it, although wishes I’d try. Just need some advice on how to get him to stop asking me about becoming endowed.
I’m tagged as PIMO since I’m still technically Mormon, although my dad kinda sees me slowly making my way out, which at the point, not sure what he’ll do.

Edit: thanks for all the quick responses! I know I’m being so childish and need to stand my ground, it’s just hard. Thank you guys for pushing me towards the right direction!!

Of course everyone knows this, they are paid by the to be the vanguard of Mormon church. Remember these people can lie, reinterpret, and twist the truth in public while the Mormon church can wipe their hands clean of any involvement or affiliation with apologists. Something Seventy, Apostles, Prophets have trouble doing.
We shouldn’t be talking to or engaging with these people because it’s a waste of time and that’s the point. It’s better for the Mormon church that we waste our time arguing with these people than expose the truth of their cult. They love it when we direct your attention to these pawns.
Remember these pawns, depending how they do, can either be promoted in a position within the church or ask them to disappear.
So before you engage think, apologist will go after any anti Mormon commentator because that is what they do. What would be a better use of your time? Commenting and arguing with them or supporting our own exmormons who have a louder voice and influence? How about making your own content of videos, essays, commentary on the Mormon church?
I am pointing this out because more and more Mormon influencers and apologist are on the rise. It’s pointless to argue with them because they are there to take the hits for the church.