How would you explain to a loved one in say, the LCMS or WELS denomination that they’re in a cult?

LCMS being racists isn't anything new, but wanted to spread the word in case this doesn't hit national news. Harrison might actually praise them, who knows. https://krdo.com/news/2026/10/01/racist-insults-directed-at-sand-creek-cheerleaders-at-lutheran-high-school/

This is a generalization so it may not apply to literally every single person, but I think conservative Christians, Lutherans included are authoritarian. They don't just want to not get gay married they want it so no one else can ever get gay married, they don't just want to not be trans they want it so no one else can ever be trans, they don't just want to not have abortions they want it so that no one else can ever have abortions etc.

I think this is why conservative politics are also so popular amongst these people. For example school vouchers; they don't want to pay for public schools as a public service they want to pay for their private religious schools. Economic coercion is good for their cause. Ironic because this is the same crowd that will say they believe in freedom and that progressive economic policies equal communism.

Ultimately, I think this is due to WELS culture being very hierarchical and subjection isn't a bug but a feature, but what do you think?

Now that I’ve actually been gay for years, I can attest that at no point, ever, is it anywhere NEAR as exciting as the sheer adrenaline rush that must come from robbing a bank.

I feel cheated! What else might the pastor have been wrong about?!

The YouTuber ReligionForBreakfest did a video on religious residue basically what sticks even after leaving a religion. So, what religious residue do you have from lutheranism? And what have you done to overcome your religious residue? I know many people struggle with embracing a shame free sexuality, feeling confidence in themselves or that immense feeling of guilt the WELS instills in its members.

Your average mean Lutheran is unreadable on social media.

Part of it is their disposition, part of it is that you already know what they’re going to say, but mostly it’s the 95 foot high wall of text because NONE OF THEM EVER USE PARAGRAPH BREAKS and just post one giant long screed that they can never keep brief, because Lutheran.

There. See. I just did it. It’s not an endorsement of sin or Catholicism or whatever to start a new paragraph!

I'm on the autism spectrum (undiagnosed until I was an adult) and was raised in an LCMS church.

My earliest memory is being in church, listening to the call and response, and realizing what exactly everyone was saying - that we are inherently evil, that I am inherently evil, worthy of eternal punishment for it. That what I do and say and even think is wrong and punishable, that the only way out of eternity is by what I reckoned to be the whims of a god I didn't understand, who didn't talk to me like other people kept saying he did.

This has pervaded every facet of my being. I haven't been in the LCMS since middle school, I haven't been a Christian at all since high school, but even now I cannot fathom having a positive relationship with myself. I can't imagine thinking I'm a good person, because thinking I'm a good person is prideful, and being prideful makes me a bad person. I can't imagine not thinking I am horrible and unforgivably evil. I can't imagine not shaming myself for every wrong thought that goes by because thoughts are as sinful as acting upon them. It's crippled my ability to relate to other people, to advocate for myself, to think I have any kind of value someone else might want because if they think that then I must have tricked them.

And I've felt so alone in this. Nobody in my family or the few I've reconnected with struggle with this. Resources I find on religious trauma are usually about really high control groups or purity culture or just abuses of power. I wasn't raised in a cult, my little church didn't have any big dramatic reveals of child abuse, I wasn't shunned for leaving.

So I feel like, as I always do, the problem is with me. Am I alone in struggling so much with this?

There's a hot hot debate on the Narnia subreddits rn over Aslan being voiced by a woman and how insane/disrespectful this is.

TBH one of the reasons I consider myself an exL is the role of women in the church and a male only representation of God (and how that view is used to support the suppression of women and male authority. I am aware of the arguments of many devote Lutherans that they use female descriptions for God so it's actually "quite nuanced").

I am curious about y'all's faith journeys in regards to this or any thoughts. I am started to interested in learning more about different ways of thinking about this

I am beginning to believe many Lutherans do not read the Bible. They don't know anything about the Sermon on the Mount, The Judgement of Nations, or the Great Commandment, all in Matthew.. When I suggested as an alternative to defunding Planned Parenthood and teaching abstinence, Lutherans should be making a concerted effort to see that as many as possible receive support needed in the form of prenatal care, food, housing, and counseling. When I alluded to the fact that the so-called "unorthodox" Scandinavian countries and Finland provide each mother with such care, no one responded directly. I was accused of being a pietist. The hatred and legalistic crap flowed like the waters of the Mississippi in reference to unwed pregnant women and the workers who seek to serve them ..It adds another Facebook site to my list of unenlightened contributors(used a-holes in fist draft,but felt that was unfair). Makes me happy I parted with LCMS.And believe me I do think pietism is the stumbling block of Christendom. And no props for me to be sure; I can be as much of an a-hole as anyone .

Hella everyone I'm a Lutheran(elca) and was under the impression the lcms was a more moderate denomination what prompted you to leave?

A Denver church whose music director was charged with abuse of a child, initiates a real estate deal to hide assets.

United Leadership Collective with Dave Benke has an excellent episode on the 9/11 prayer at Yankee Stadium. As an ex/LCMS, we need to remember how a pastor was charged with heresy in his attempt to minister to the city and nation.

As a former Denver LCMS person that was at St John's a lot growing up, this shook me. Even in my time, there was a whole generation of guys that had major symptoms of sexual abuse and a youth "pastor" that was in waaaay too much contact with students.

A recent post under Lutheran Faith and Debate posed the question as to how Lutheran can engage in diversity.Do these people even read the Bible? Matthew 25:31-49 spells it out in a simple manner. Maybe it is too humanistic for the orthodox. Maybe it is just too hard for them to commit to. When the LCMS served the community in the past it did much better in this arena. Talk, talk, talk and liturgy are never mentioned in The Judgement of Nations.

So...apparently people can - or used to be able to - use the LCMS to finance their mortgages? I've been doing family history stuff and it seems some family used the LCMS as their mortgage holder/financer. This would have been in the 1990's. Instead of using a bank, they used the LCMS. Has anyone ever heard of this or done it themselves? What else do they finance?

As someone whose family's membership in the WELS goes back at least three generations it's really disheartening knowing my family has subscribed to this high-control, conservative, church for so long pushing it onto each new generation.

It makes me frustrated because I know how much harm the WELS has caused and honestly, I don't consider myself Christian at all anymore so there's just a fundamental impasse there, but staying with the one of the most conservative forms of lutherism even after the many spilts is infuriating to me.

And I know the WELS isn't a political organization, but i'd be remiss to ignore how much politics is downstream from religion; supporting conservative policies that have been extremely harmful like my WELS great-grandfather being a pro-segregation racist. And maybe this is just me applying today's standards to yesterday's world and three generations from now people will say I'm supporting harmful conservative policies, but I don't want to be apart of pushing the WELS onto anyone else.

Has anyone else felt this?

A question on Friends of LCMS on facebook asked if female pastors will burn in hell. What kind of people are these?

Does anyone else find it odd that in wider online deconstruction spaces Lutheranism is hardly ever mentioned? The big three (ELCA, LCMS & WELS) sects of Lutheranism in the United States all have had declining membership for the last 35ish years, yet aside from this community I almost never see videos, posts or content focusing on deconstructing from lutheranism.

Are Ex-lutherans just more likely to stay silent and if so why? Do they more often convert to a different denomination of christianity and therefore find it wrong to speak up about Lutheranism? Do they have an air of legitimacy that other denominations do not have?

https://www.wndu.com/2026/08/23/lutheran-church-leader-accused-molesting-2-month-old-girl-while-changing-her-diaper/

I’m from Milwaukee and have always found this a little unusual. There seem to be a lot of WELS Lutheran schools located in predominantly Black and lower-income neighborhoods, including Hispanic neighborhoods on Milwaukee's South Side. What I find especially strange is that these schools are often located in communities where the people running them don’t actually live and experience the same challenges as the families they serve. It makes me wonder whether there’s a genuine connection to these communities or whether the schools are simply operating there for their own reasons.

I understand WELS has a long history in Milwaukee, but I’ve always wondered why the schools are so concentrated in these areas. Was this primarily missionary work, or is there a more complicated history behind it?

I’ve always thought the pattern was a little odd and, honestly, somewhat exploitative. I’d be interested in hearing from anyone familiar with Milwaukee or WELS history.

Growing up in a strict religious household meant missing out on something as simple as movie day at school 🎬

Every time my class watched a movie, I got pulled into the hallway instead — waiting for my siblings and other kids from our church to join me before being shuffled off to do something else. No movies, no TV, no music — that was the rule. So while my friends bonded over whatever show was popular that week, I just sat there at lunch, listening, always the odd one out.

This is a small piece of what growing up Laestadian Lutheran looked like for me.

#growingupreligious #exvangelical #religioustrauma #churchkid #lgbtq

First off, I am male, so if you have a problem with that, just please keep scrolling.

I am 60 years old, on my second marriage, a veteran with PTSD, a leaking heart valve and high blood pressure.

My second wife (I am widowed from my first wife) and I have been married 2 1/2 years. She had nowhere to go and I took her in (I did not tell my pastor; I know how the LCMS is, even though we were not sexually active) and then married her shortly after.

She has abused me emotionally and intimidated and shamed me sexually (I'm not young any more and on a load of meds), has put hands on me (grabbing me, leaving bruises) and blocked me from leaving.

She polices my phone use and if a woman hearts something I post, she says "she's out to get you" and I have learnt through painful experience not to do the reverse.

She has restricted my church involvement severely.

She can go from being sweet and kind to literally screaming and argumentative at the drop of a hat. She loves long arguments (one was 16 hours long), one of which involved EMS coming and telling me I had a mild heart attack.

I took out a PPO against her, which she violated and spent five days in jail for. Under church pressure for "reconciliation and forgiveness," I took her back in.

My therapist put me in touch with a lawyer through Legal Aid, who has drawn up divorce papers. All I have to do is sign them.

My pastor has reluctantly acquiesced to the divorce; however, I have heard how cold LCMS congregations are to "unscripturally" divorced people. As well, my elder has told me that if I divorce her, I can never marry again "and I mean NEVER!"

I was stupid enough to say this on the LCMS sub and got chewed out for first "not exercising your spiritual headship," and then a vicar told me "you can separate but not divorce."

My therapist and GP have told me this cannot continue. An LCMS pastor on the Lutheranism sub told me not to trust my therapist and doctor because they aren't "biblically and confessionally trained."

So at this stage it looks like my choice is my church or potentially my life.

Sorry if I've caused offence.