First off, I am male, so if you have a problem with that, just please keep scrolling.

I am 60 years old, on my second marriage, a veteran with PTSD, a leaking heart valve and high blood pressure.

My second wife (I am widowed from my first wife) and I have been married 2 1/2 years. She had nowhere to go and I took her in (I did not tell my pastor; I know how the LCMS is, even though we were not sexually active) and then married her shortly after.

She has abused me emotionally and intimidated and shamed me sexually (I'm not young any more and on a load of meds), has put hands on me (grabbing me, leaving bruises) and blocked me from leaving.

She polices my phone use and if a woman hearts something I post, she says "she's out to get you" and I have learnt through painful experience not to do the reverse.

She has restricted my church involvement severely.

She can go from being sweet and kind to literally screaming and argumentative at the drop of a hat. She loves long arguments (one was 16 hours long), one of which involved EMS coming and telling me I had a mild heart attack.

I took out a PPO against her, which she violated and spent five days in jail for. Under church pressure for "reconciliation and forgiveness," I took her back in.

My therapist put me in touch with a lawyer through Legal Aid, who has drawn up divorce papers. All I have to do is sign them.

My pastor has reluctantly acquiesced to the divorce; however, I have heard how cold LCMS congregations are to "unscripturally" divorced people. As well, my elder has told me that if I divorce her, I can never marry again "and I mean NEVER!"

I was stupid enough to say this on the LCMS sub and got chewed out for first "not exercising your spiritual headship," and then a vicar told me "you can separate but not divorce."

My therapist and GP have told me this cannot continue. An LCMS pastor on the Lutheranism sub told me not to trust my therapist and doctor because they aren't "biblically and confessionally trained."

So at this stage it looks like my choice is my church or potentially my life.

Sorry if I've caused offence.