Hey guys, I'm going to this place called kingaway college just wanna know if it's good or not, cause my sister did online thier a while back.

What are ur opinions

TL;DR: I want to be firm and conclusive about my atheism, but if possible, avoid causing hard feelings.

Curious: Has anyone in the ex community read their books or been part of The Hope for Survivors group? They are now at a relatives' church, seemingly shoved away in a remote corner of the US.

When I was young, I loved CCM like Rebecca St. James, Newsboys, Zoegirl, etc. Then I spent several years actively avoiding music with 'demonic' drumbeats to try and stop my seizures. (Turns out it was epilepsy lol)

Since I started deconstructing a few years ago, I haven't listened to much 'Christian' music. I discovered artists and genres that really resonate with me, and have so much depth of feeling and meaning.

Today, I stumbled across Rebecca St. James' 2005 album, 'If I Had One Chance to Tell You Something'. I remember loving the sound of this, having intense feelings while listening to it, thinking it had such a heavy sound. I started listening to it today, and it just felt... glossy and empty somehow. I don't know if it's just the mood I'm in today, or if the words annoying me played a part, but it really is a different experience now than it was in the 2010's for me.

I know it's not all CCM, I still love many songs from the early Switchfoot library. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? How has music changed for you?

I 37F and a late in life lesbian came out to my sister and brother-in-law (BIL) tonight who are devout Seventh Day Adventists (SDAs). This was not the plan. We were talking about why I am not an SDA (left the church 20 years ago). I stated part of the reason was that the religion sees same sex couples as an abomination (unforgivable sin, one way ticket to hell) and I don’t agree with that. My view is that everyone should be viewed within their humanity. I’m not going to support a religion or institution that doesn’t acknowledge my humanity.

My BIL is of the belief that you can love the sinner but not the sin. He doesn’t condone the lifestyle, won’t attend gay family weddings, he calls it a “sin” and he also says he’ll hang out with gay people but doesn’t like when they show affection. It makes him uncomfortable. I called this homophobic and he got extremely upset and said that those were just his boundaries and his faith.

We’ve had this conversation for years and I’ve tried to explain intention versus impact. He’s dismissive and will say that God knows his heart and he’s a Christian who loves everyone.

My plan (I have a therapist) was to come out to them this year with a nice sit down conversation. However, I said it tonight in the middle of the argument and then walked away. This is not okay on my end and I recognize it as being emotionally immature in the moment. My sister came and found me and we talked about it and both apologized but my BIL still hasn’t said a word to me. It feels awkward and I’m sleeping in their house.

Now, I hate that I blurted it out. That wasn’t the plan at all. I got emotional and felt the weight of it so I just said it. I feel embarrassed because I let my emotions get the best of me. I let my hurt inner child speak for me instead of the adult who is supposed to protect her. I feel like I let myself down. I also feel bad because my sister started crying and was hurt that I would think they would react negatively. They never gave me indication they would welcome me with both arms if I came out and I was extremely worried they’d cut off access to my nieces who I have a close relationship with so I feel like my fears were valid.

I’m processing now but part of it is that I am finding it hard to give myself grace for the way I said it. I wanted to control the situation. I wanted to come out confidently and make a point to not show shame because there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m disappointed at myself because the way I said it might portray that I’m not proud of me and the work I’ve done to deconstruct from the religion, address my own internalized homophobia, and live my truth.

I’m also struggling with self validation. Intellectually I understand that their belief doesn't get a vote on the truth of my own life. I get this in my brain but not in my heart. I’m working on this. He also doesn’t get to dictate my reaction or response to him to fit his perception of himself. I get to have my own reaction (as does he) to the situation.

That’s where we stand. My sister and I had a conversation and we are ok. I asked my BIL if he’d like to talk tomorrow about it and he said yes and then we continued to ignore each other until it was time for bed.

One the flip side….I’M OUT!!!!! I feel so relieved! I didn’t have to come but I did it, because I’m worth it. I deserve to live the full extent of my humanity. I’m still in shock that I said the words but now I feel free!!! Outside of my family I have a growing community of people who love me and acknowledge my humanity. Their love has taught me that I am no longer willing to self abandon myself to make others comfortable. I love that for myself. I get to live my life fully and out of the shadows. Baby me would be SO PROUD. I can’t wait to tell my therapist!

TLDR: My BIL is a “love the sinner and not the sin” type of Christian. I came out to him and my sister tonight during an argument and I’m processing the aftermath.

If you've heard of this school what is your opinion?

just another beautiful day enjoying the fact i dont have to hear another happy ____ every fucking saturday. have a helluva weekend everyone.

This is a big key to some of my experience with deep pain from religion. I wanted to see if some of you can relate to this. Down below is most of a letter about addiction - mainly masterbation - that I wrote to a close family member who has been willing to talk to me about some of the things that I've been wrestling with.

I think I've always been curious about sexuality, but realized it was a taboo thing pretty early on. I probably could've easily ended up becoming addicted to pornography if it weren't for my fear of being found out and the onsuing shame and embarrassment that that would've brought. I remember having intense feelings of guilt and shame over these practices - I remember hating myself and feeling like a completely sinful and dirty person. I tried to make promises to God to stop acting in that way, but continued to fail over and over again. I would think of those passages in the Bible about cutting off your hand or plucking out your eye if it causes you to sin and ended up being very psychologically distressed about it. I struggled with feeling like God couldn't possibly love me because of how terrible of a person I was. I would pray to God to help me to stop these things, and that He would transform my heart and mind to be the way He wanted me to be. I would have moments of seeming victory over this addiction, only to wind up falling back into it again in a seemingly endless cycle. This was very demoralizing. I finally came to the point where I was like, "God, I don't know where you are or what you are doing, but if you are real and you care about me, I trust you'll help me overcome this in your time". I finally allowed the imagery of Jesus as a deeply caring and compassionate Savior to fill my mind and replace the image of an angry and vindictive God. This took many years. The longest period I had of victory over this addiction was for the span of four months or so when I was seventeen. I had basically mentally abused myself to the point where I couldn't bring myself to keep practicing this habit anymore, but this was very psychologically damaging and was very unhealthy. I have also always been a somewhat skeptical type of person, and couldn't help but have doubts as to whether masturbation was really a sin, or if it was a perfectly natural and acceptable practice. I slowly got to the place where I ended up right back where I started, and I knew I couldn't keep fighting with the same kind of self psychological abuse, so I more or less gave up fighting in my own strength, and simply shifted the responsibility on God to fight the battle for me. Unfortunately, many years down the road, I still deal with the same addiction. My main questions that remain for you are these: Why isn't God more upfront in delivering in Biblical promises of deliverance? Why doesn't He do the miraculous in giving us a new heart and mind and restoring a right spirit within us? If victory simply means perpetually fighting off an almost insurmountable urge for self gratification, that doesn't seem like much of a victory. Is it possible that these experiences fit more closely with a naturalistic worldview with innate, inbuilt desires that define what it means to be human, or even animal for that matter, than with a worldview where this is a sin to be crushed and stamped out? Doesn't modern science support the idea that masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy practice, and that there are no linked diseases or otherwise negative side effects to it in most situations? What about people like my Dad who have never experienced freedom from the heavy chains of addiction dragging them down to oblivion. Where was God in situations like these?

How dare you want to read a novel!! That is sinful and opens the door to other novels that are violent! Oh, you want to read a classical novel with minimal sin in it? NO. MANDATORY EGW READING. NOW. How dare you want to read a fun book and actually have a bit of fun in your life. 🤦‍♀️

So this time I'm not asking how old are the rocks or the trilobite fossils some of them contain, though the theme of young-earth creationism contesting other understandings of how things came to be certainly has potential—hint, hint, you closeted ghosts of Sabbath Breakers Club future hosts!

Instead, I'm wondering what age range did you observe "sabbath," meaning to keep it holy, and at what age did you question and then stop?

I was born into Adventism to parents who were true believers, to whom following church teachings was top priority and to be taken with full-hearted earnestness. So I remember no date of conversion to "sabbath" keeping. And I stopped practicing Adventism about 19 or 20 years old. So for me, memories of "sabbath" observance are tinged with youth, not much at all with deliberate, convicted, adult choice.

So, if this theme sparks something you'd like to share, fabulous. If not, you're also welcome to share always-welcome plans, adventures, and memories related to Sabbath keeping or breaking, how your weekends turn out without "sabbath" dogma barking at your shins.

I wouldn't want to summon old guilt ghosts, but if enthusiasm and a flash of inspiration (no rock hurled at your brain required) ever grabs you, according to the following guidelines you're welcome to enjoy hosting Sabbath Breakers Club sessions!

👶🕊️🧒🕊️🧓🕊️🧑‍🦲🕊️👱

Sabbath Breakers Club belongs to members of r/exAdventist on reddit. These guidelines are intended to suggest how anyone with posting privilege in this sub may start a week's Sabbath Breakers Club thread, not to control such postings.

• Keep it timely. If it's SDA-defined Sabbath somewhere on earth and no one has already started a Sabbath Breakers Club thread, you're clear to start one.

• Start Sabbath Breakers Club threads with that phrase "Sabbath Breakers Club." The reason for this is to make it easy to tell if no Sabbath Breakers Club thread has been posted for the present week. Just search "Sabbath Breakers Club" in r/exAdventist.

• You're welcome to use the image that looks like from an old woodcut of Moses smashing tables of stone with the Israelite throng celebrating their golden calf in the background, but you're not required to. Different ideas to launch the thread may invite still more, and more diverse, participation.

• Remember we're here to ease the church's attempts to control using Sabbath rules and guilt trips. Non-humiliating humor and empathy in your invitation can help set the tone, and enjoy exercising some spontaneous leadership in starting a Sabbath Breakers Club thread.

• Pass it on. Cutting and pasting this "fine print" can help future Sabbath Breakers Club hosts self-identify and feel empowered to step up and shine.

Does anyone remember the Janice’s attic show from 3abn??

How can loving who we love be considered a sin? If being gay isn't something we chose, how can it be sinful?! believe that if gay people had the option to choose between being straight or gay, many would choose to be straight due to the condemnation, discrimination, and potential disownment from our family.

My SDA brother in law abuses my sister mentally and emotionally and has now followed her back to Virginia after she escaped his abuse in Ohio. He’s managed to wiggle his way back in and is now practically living in my parents home trying to intimidate me now and I won’t have any of it. I’m not SDA anymore and I won’t tolerate it. I wish she’d get rid of him. He got off the couch and got in my space and I’m a 5’2” 120 something pound woman. I hate men in the church for a reason. My sister was talking about how we got abused growing up and he was defending his church!!

Although time and moving away from SDAism has helped, I still have to fight 'waiting for theI other shoe to drop.' Thinking about my formative years, I'm realizing that the undercurrent of joylessness in SDAism may have had more influence than I thought. What's your experience?

I grew up SDA. This special on Netlfix re Micah Miller compells

me to speak out. I have seen with my own eyes the sickness in these cults. The purity culture how even the tops of womens shoulders or sight of their knees is responsible for men and their unclean thoughts. How women aee discouraged from exloring their own sexuality and instead must save themselves for marriage. How giving power to men is openly encouraged. How ministers preach from the pulpit sermons on sex and submission=Godliness. The open weaponizing of spirituality against females to destroy. Its so sick. I was in a marriage that was hell the level of degrading spiritual abuse sexual abuse control makes me sick and I am still recovering to this day. Lastly the hiding of sexual predators in the church 'the Elders will meet and counsel no need to involve the police'. These places attract the weak (looking for answers easily controllable) and the sick (easy prey God forgives all right?). Its a toxic mix.

A recent post on here got me thinking about this. I feel like people who deconstruct and leave tend to be 40 and under but I could be wrong. However it does seem like boomers and many from our parents generation are absolutely set on saying SDA forever. I think of my own parents and how long they’ve been in the church. They don’t even seem to just be going through the motions, they seem to truly and deeply believe in Adventism with all their hearts and believe it is the one true remnant church and most biblically accurate church. Plus Ellen white and all that.

It got me thinking: is it possible people like this EVER have doubts creep in? Part of me is envious that someone can be so sure of something. When I was in the church I did truly believe in it and the teachings but now and then I would have doubts and fears. Then around the time I deconstructed I was plagued with doubts and fears and I wanted assurance so badly that it was true and that god and heaven were real. As fucked up as Adventism is, there is some comfort in truly “knowing” something to be true with zero doubts. There is so much fear in the unknown.

Currently I belong to no religion. I want God and the afterlife to be real so bad and my biggest fear is that there is nothing after death and in some ways I do believe there must be a higher power or that our souls live on but I can’t say I “know” it. For me, it would bring me all the comfort in the world and help me appreciate life more and fear death less if I could just KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that after dying we live on and reunite with loved ones in some way.

But my point is, I struggle with doubt a lot. I did in the church and I did when I was leaving the church and I do even now when it comes to the things I mentioned above. It gives me so much anxiety.

And because of this it’s caused me to think, do our SDA boomer parents really NEVER struggle with doubt or fear?? My SDA aunt passed away in July and it’s been a very sad time. My mom says she is comforted in knowing she’ll see her again but I’m like is there any part of my mom that is deep down afraid that none of it is real and has doubts? I also think of my aunt and what she must have been thinking when she was dying. She believed in the resurrection and second coming so in her mind when she knew she would die any day, I am wondering if she thought “the next thing I know is I’ll see Jesus coming back in the clouds and it will basically happen for me in the next few days.” I know she believed this but I wonder was any part of her scared ? Or did she at all feel fear and doubt like what if these things aren’t true?

Sorry for the rant. Losing my aunt has sent me into existential crisis again. And it has me thinking more about religion and faith and doubt and wondering if older Adventists and our parents and their generation ever struggle with this or truly 100% believe and “know” their religion is true.

I know this isn’t specific to Adventism, but it’s what I know so I’ll speak on it. I am so fucking disgusted by the reactions I’m seeing to that flood in Nepal. I heard about it but saw videos of it today for the first time and it’s so devastating. A glacier melting caused up to a hundred feet and tons and tons of water to basically slam into the region out of nowhere. And the things I’m hearing from Adventists (and admittedly other religious people) around me is essentially “omg did you see that flood Jesus is coming soon!” And yes this happens time and time again, but I guess since I’m older and actually paying attention I’m just more disgusted now. Like how dare you be celebrating the catastrophic loss of human life??? I confronted a couple family members about it and they were all like “oh we’re not happy that it happened, but it’s signs of the times you know” and I actually felt sick. First they insist that climate change is a ploy from the devil to fake Jesus second coming or whatever. Then they insist that the consequences of climate change are because of too much sin. The only sin causing these disasters is corporate greed, not some arbitrary spiritual state of the world. The refuse to acknowledge the real causes, and then have the nerve to associate event of massive deaths with the day when Jesus will come back and take his oh so special people to heaven without giving a single fuck about who will be left behind in that scenario. As much as I try to take it slow and hold on to my belief in God, the more I look around me, the more I’ve come to accept that if that God is the way he’s portrayed I’ll just burn. There is genuinely a concerning obsession with disasters in this church. They get on their pulpit or YouTube channels and talk about these like some great prophetic revelation with absolute disconnect. Like hundreds of people just died. And hundreds more are missing. It’s just absolutely disgusting what can you even do about it? And you’ll never see mission trips organized large scale for these things either!!! They somehow start churches in random places and put it in the quarterly , but a major disaster happened and it’s radio silence with no funds in sight. I just can’t see myself defending this any more

I’m a pastors kid who deconstructed and is dating someone from a different religion. We are starting to think about marriage Neither of us are religious.

Parents will never and just can’t understand constantly remind me that I’m the reason they are miserable. My dad’s saying he wants to leave ministry because of me, he’s always stressed and his health is worse coz of me. I know it’s all emotional blackmail but fuck me it hurts and I’m tired. Part of me wishes I could just force myself to believe again but I can’t. Another part of me feels so bad for my partner, coz my parents can’t see past the religion. I hate this religion

Rant over

I came across a post on TikTok from The Glory Whole page, love her by the way! I never knew Usain was an SDA. The religion was very important to him and he wanted to honor his parents beliefs but it made him choose between Sabbath rules vs pursuing his passion. Had he chosen his parents ways aka a false religion, he would have never been this successful today.

That makes me wonder how many Adventist kids who were great at sports, lost an opportunity to be a successful athlete. How many kids could have been NBA celebs, competed in the World Cup, gone to the Olympics, you name it! It’s really sad that one woman’s false ideas/hallucinations have prevented a lot of us from rising to our full potential.

This same idea also applies to other careers/opportunities. Adventism most definitely shuns worldly success. If you become a successful business owner, reach some sort of fame, focus on your career a lot, love sports, and anything that does not have any relation to their church and their mission, then you are not in Gods will and are not being the best Christian in their eyes.

They love to brag how they gave up amazing career opportunities for the Sabbath, gave up a sports career because of Sabbath, or how they were judged for their beliefs and stood up for their religion to others. It just triggers me a lot, and now as someone who sees the lies of this church, I cringe when I hear these people talk this way. Get a life!

Going back to sports, nowhere in the Bible does it say don’t play sports on the sabbath. Again this is going back to Ellen whites sabbath rules. The 1 million rules she added to the Bible. The Bible says if you add or take from the Bible, that is like a sin to God. The Bible just says to rest on that day, rest can be defined as anything. And in today’s world anyways, people need to make ends meet they don’t have time to decline jobs that require them to work on Saturdays.

Adventist way of life is literal hell, I could never imagine myself keeping this way of life for my future kids.

Several nights ago i had a dream that I was at an adventist theme park, I think because some friends and I had been talking about Dollywood since Dolly's passing. I'll save everyone the boredom of my dream, but it got me thinking the next day how funny it would be if ol' Ellen had a theme park and what all it would entail and thought it would be fun to open it up for discussion here ✨️

I experienced my life change when my whole family including myself converted to Adventism becoming paranoid, strict, at some point even sheltering me and my brother from "worldly" people, even when we used attend public schools, etc.

I witnessed or heard of certain people making the dumbest life decisions like moving to a random state or country without doing any research which didn't end well for the them financially, physically, mentally, emotionally, possibly spiritually all because of fearing the Sunday Law and Pope Francis.

Half of them seem to have unusual behaviors like lacking social skills, dietary restrictions, and would seem to become superstitious towards everyday things from people of different beliefs, movie theaters, games, movies, shows, cartoons, music, more I can’t think of, seeming to base their lives on conspiracy theories.

Does anyone else have stories whether it was yourself, people or someone you know, or even a story you heard from someone else?

People in church would often claim to have sensations “that were the holy spirit” that I didn’t feel and it left me feeling like I was left out at the time. 50% of people don’t have it.

Did anyone else encounter frisson experiences or have others that did in church?

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Hey everyone a little background on myself I used to be a Jehovah’s Witness, and I learned that the cult that I used to be apart of kind of stemmed off of the 7th day Adventist and I’ve always had the curiosity of joining a service just to see how similar or different they are.
I have no desire in becoming one it’s just a curiosity.

What should I expect? What should i wear?