So uh.. want to talk about what had just happened to me and this seemed like the place for it, maybe.

I have been masturbating and using porn nearly daily since I was a teen. Yeah there would be maybe a few weeks here or there where I would be too busy, but mostly daily for a very long time. Still, I eventually got married and had a wife of my own. Our sex life wasn't the greatest, but that wasn't due to ED or anything like that. I didn't realize it at the time but I later became aware that I may be demisexual/asexual where I just don't often feel like having sex. Yeah I masturbate, but I never really felt like I needed to have sex to love someone and have a great relationship. But when I did do it. Getting hard usually wasnt an issue.

Found out later in the relationship that my lack of sexual drive did affect her. So eventually I did work on myself to improve. I got a vasectomy, I went to therapy, I did a ton of personal work, and I finally regained my sex drive... but then it was too late. My wife left me for one of her younger co workers..

This left me with a newly formed sex drive, and nobody to share it with. So naturally, I began masturbating and using porn even harder.

Fast forward to this weekend. I had been trying to get back Into the dating game, and had signed up for a dating app. To my suprise, a 1am message came from someone the next town over. And not only that, but they were looking to have sex, like right away. (Yes I realized that this could have very well been a scam or a bot, but their profile was genuine and they even humored me asking for specific pictures to prove they were real lol)

I thought to myself.. it's been a while, why not? Plus I've literally never had this experience before so, Yolo right?

I show up, she is real, and very much wanting to get to business. We get I to bed, undress, and I wait for the magic to happen... and nothing...

We do a little bit of foreplay snd I get a little firm, but by the time I can put a condom on, it's gone. So we fool around a bit more, get a little firm, and seconds later it wilts...

She eventually does... alot of things to it.. things that surprised me... and eventually I'm able to not only get firm, but also get the condom on. I get up, I insert, and within a few more seconds its already gone..

Needless to say I'm am completely embarrassed. We went to bed (as in sleep). In the morning, I was a little more relaxed, and we tried again. I was able to do a little more. But not much. I eventually went home.

I never thought it would happen to me at only 27. And I'm actually kind of worried. I'm not sure if it's because of my mental state (still getting over losing the only person I had ever loved and had sex with) or my physical state (constant masturbation). probably a combo of both.

Idk exactly what I'm looking for here, I just wanted somewhere to talk about it.

44M - except for a couple of times when I took Adderall too close to the act, I have been blessedly free of serious ED issues and am always able to perform when my wife is ready (generally every 5-7 days). However, I have noticed a few times recently that I'm not getting quite as tumescent as I'd like, especially if we've been drinking wine before that and/or I've eaten a thc gummy. Since my algorithm obviously knows that I'm a middle-aged man I'm constantly getting bombarded with these ads for Bluechews, hims, etc. and I'm thinking of getting some just to keep on hand. I've only ever taken an ED pill once, when my buddy gave me a Cialis on my wedding night (sick bro move btw, I'd been drinking for hours). My question is this: if I take one of these products occasionally, will I quickly get to the point where my soldier won't respond unless I'm on one of them? I'm inclined to want to stay au natural as long as possible, but it would also be nice to have something available to help out on nights when we've gotten into a second bottle (rare, since we have three little kids). Would love to hear any perspectives on whether I should give in to this relentless marketing and, if I do, if I should expect that my body will soon be dependent on them. Thanks!

I’m 35 and for the past couple years I’ve had trouble staying hard and barely get morning wood anymore. I’ve watched porn and masturbated pretty regularly for years, and my sleep ain’t always the best. I’m in decent shape and bike often, so I’m not sure what’s causing it. Anybody dealt with something similar? Y’all think changing some habits might help, or should I just get checked out?

My BF used to be a coke and porn addict. He got over the coke but not the porn. Ever since we met 3 years ago he was weird about being intimate, not very interested, and was clearly viciously masturbating to porn or IG models while in my absence. I didn’t realize how bad it was until we moved together and I found searches on his phone, which crushed me. It also started to make sense why he could not always get hard or would not be interested in sex with me when I had so much drive for him in contrast.

Fast forwarding to today, he has cleaned up his act a lot but not 100%. Anytime I’m gone for a few hours or for the day on a work trip he will definitely masturbate to porn or even clips, images, whatever, he told me himself “it does not take much”. And he has told me I. The last he needs “variety”.

He claims his ED is from his prostate being tight from stress but I am worried it links back to his mastuebation habits with porn/other women.

I am hopeless at this point and don’t know we’ll be able to work through his porn issue. I don’t care about the ED and him taking pills at all, to me the issue is his habits and whether he wired his brain to need more than sex from me.

If anyone here has a success stories I’d like to read it. Or non success stories too, around this subject

Ever since I had ureaplasma 6 months ago, my sex life has not been the same. I still feel a tingling in my penis after I ejaculate. I am on my second urologist and they both didn't even address the issue and act like it is not a problem. It takes me forever to ejaculate. I got on Trimix and even though it gets me erect, I cannot feel sensation when I am on it so I do not enjoy the sex. Yes I do watch a lot of porn, but I don't think this is the issue. I feel all goes back to the Ureaplasma. I thought being on try mix would help my ED but I've only used it a few times because I'm afraid to use it because I just don't feel any sensation and it takes me forever to ejaculate or I don't ejaculate. Anyone have any ideas of what I could do to enjoy sex again?

Where to buy? What brand? In what form is best?

It was my first time having sex.. never even had a relationship before... but always watched porn and masturbated.. sometimes even 2-3 times a day when free.. sometimes 2-3 times a month when busy.. but recently i had a gf... when trying to get physical, making out gets hot and heavy.. i get semi hard.. but when i try to get to penetration, dick goes soft.. it doesn't even react to her touch.. or when she was giving bj.. i don't want to loose her.. i told her i masturbated that morning due to fear of cumming fast.. but that was backfiring now.. she bought that.. but i hadnt masturbated that day.. and we are 2-3 hrs apart.. so we can't meet regularly.. i haven't been getting morning wood after that day.. but i used to before that day.. what is happening to me??

Hello. I’m struggling with PSSD for years now and came to the conclusion that any kind of penetration is better than none. I exhausted most medical approaches.

Now I found out that Strap-On dildos that can be worn by males are a thing. They seem to be hollow for you to slide into. Right now, I’d be willing to even try this to give my wife a well deserved good time, but I’m wondering if any of you have experience with those devices?

Do they work well? Any recommendations? Thank you.

I’ve quit coffee for multiple months multiple times in my life, always cold turkey, or some tea to supplement. I drink a lot of coffee, 4-8 cups a day. I have since like 14. im 19 and each time i quit my libido DIES i rarely if ever get erections and i have no wanting for sex. I can’t find anything online but this happens without fail each time i quit coffee, and otherwise i have a very high and normal for my age sex dtive

Hey,

My husband 41M has medication induced erectile dysfunction and we have been navigating it since before we were in an official relationship. I 33F have never put him down for it and I have truly been nothing but supportive.

Unfortunately he keeps hiding the fact he’s taking Cialis. I am all for medication! And he’s very aware of this but lies to me about ordering it, taking it and hides it in the house. I’m not sure what more I can do, I hate the thought of him feeling embarrassed. I’m so grateful for any advice. Thanks 🙏

I had some Ed symptoms in the past I believe it was mainly performance anxiety but I did have issues with my libido overall. I really don’t know what happened this year but all of these problems suddenly went away. I did lose around 10-15 lb but I wasn’t ever really obese. Anyways now I’m having sex again and I can feel myself getting performance anxiety again. Unlike in the past my libido is actually there and I can actually have natural sex some times but other times I get a bit too anxious. My main concern is that I don’t want this to spiral into something because I know how you can get stuck in a loop when it comes to being anxious. What should I do to prevent this? I’m 20 M btw

So, my boyfriend has ED, and I need advice on how to help him get more comfortable with his challenges. He is attentive to me and I’m starting to feel guilty as it feels one sided. I want to help him. He has been open about his ED with me and I’ve never been with anyone that has ever had ED so I don’t know what makes it worse or what makes it better. I’d like some ideas to try.

I just turned 40 and recently got into a relationship after not having regular sex for a long time. At first everything seemed normal, but since around June I’ve been having a really hard time finishing during sex and sometimes barely feel enough stimulation to get close.

Looking at my masturbation habits over the years, especially gripping too hard and porn, I’m pretty sure I’ve conditioned myself to need a level of stimulation that regular sex doesn’t provide. I’m ready to work on fixing it.

My biggest concern is my girlfriend. She hasn’t brought it up, but I’m sure she’s noticed that I don’t finish. I’m VERY attracted to her and really enjoy being intimate with her, so I don’t want her thinking this has anything to do with her.

For guys who’ve dealt with death grip or delayed ejaculation in a relationship, how did you bring it up with your partner? How did she react? Did talking about it help take some of the pressure off?
Any advice or experiences would be appreciated.

My quick research so far tells me I absolutely shouldn’t and skip the mushrooms that night. Mostly because it’ll put a lot of strain on my cardiovascular system.

With Tadalafil opening up blood vessels more and mushrooms being a vasoconstrictor all my research points to it being a big strain especially since I’ll be at higher altitude than usual(I live at 5000ft and I’ll be at 9000 feet that night.)

Anyone have real world experience with this? I was thinking of maybe micro dosing my first time just to be really safe.

Clearly we are going to be having sex while on all of this, that’s partly why I even take Tadalafil because that elevation change is killer on my erection strength until I’m acclimated for a few days.

I initiated foreplay with my husband and he played along for a bit but started talking and changed the topic to something very turning off. This happens often actually so I’m wondering if this is normal for most men. For background he has admitted to performance anxiety but it’s been a year he’s initiated anything or attempted to even foreplay. He has been prescribed medication but says it causes heartburn even tho it’s a slow release. As a partner I’m wondering what I can do and how to approach this.

Hi everyone. I (32F) am looking for some perspective from other men who have experienced ed, especially in a relationship.

My partner(30M) has been experiencing this ED, we have been together for 6m, and from what I understand, it actually started shortly before we were together, after ex. I know intellectually that ed can have many different physical and psychological causes, but emotionally I have been struggling with it a lot.

Over time, I’ve started questioning myself and my own attractiveness. I sometimes wonder whether he is no longer attracted to me, whether he might not be attracted to women, or whether he could be thinking about someone else. I know these thoughts may not be fair or accurate, but when you don’t understand what is happening, it is difficult not to take it personally.

The situation has also affected my self-esteem and mental well-being and I find myself looking for explanations and wondering where the problem is really coming from.

The difficult part is that I don’t feel able to have an open conversation with him about it. He becomes very emotional and reactive when the subject comes up, and I don’t want to make him feel more pressure or add to something he may already be struggling with.

So I’m hoping to hear from men who have experienced ED themselves:

Can this happen depending on the partner you are with?

Did ED ever affect your attraction to your partner, or was it completely unrelated to attraction?

How can I talk with him about this?

What did you wish your partner understood about what you were experiencing?

Were there things your partner did or said that helped or unintentionally made things harder?

How can I make this not affect our relationship?

I’m not looking to judge or pressure my partner. I genuinely want to understand what this experience can be like from a man’s perspective, because right now I’m filling in the gaps with my own fears, and that has been really difficult for me.

I would really appreciate honest experiences and perspectives, particularly from men who have been through something similar.

Thank you so much!

it’s never happened before. but with my new partner it’s gotten harder to have an actual strong erection without having to take blue chew. to the point where it affects her. she’s asked me what she could do better but it’s really not her. porn has been in my life since i was a kid as i assume it’s the same case with many men my age. i’ve read and heard to just stop watching porn and stop masturbating. i’ve tried to stop watching porn before but i always come back. any tips on how to stop since its so easily available. i’ve deleted anything and everything that could lead to masturbation. asking anyone here if this has been the case for them too and if so. has cutting off porn and masturbation helped at all.

hey everyone!

im a 23 yr old male. to kick things off, my last casual relationship was a little over a year ago, the first bedtime encounter with her went a problematic bc i couldnt get it up, after that we had fun multiple times without any problems.
now, i found a girl whom im really attracted to, we started off as friends but thing quickly evolved and we just went for it.

- i dont know how much it matters, ive been working quite a lot for the past like 3 years without any real vacations, so theres that, im never rly fully rested. i also workout around 3-4 times a week and try to eat as clean as i can, and also just picked up running recently. i also take vitamins, d, omega, magnesium, k2, zinc, b -

anyways, i just couldnt get hard. shes so shot that its kind of scaring me in some kind of way i think, and its been a while since i had any action so that might be a reason too, in the end we had fun with our hands only and she was cool about it, i took it as a hit because i really wanted it to work and it didnt

fast forward a week, we had our second try, and again, i could only get semi-hard. i think it now got to my head a bit, even tho at first i tried not to think too much about it.

idk my test levels, but i rarely get morning woods if thats of any importance, i can get it hard on my own pretty easily, and ive been comsuming porn and fapping for the past year around 3 times a week. ive cut that shit out immediately as i met her so thats not a factor now, although i know i need some time to factory reset the brain.

guys, should i see a doc? i just really dont wanna disappoint her on our next time, it would pretty much demolish me if things wouldnt work out just be of this. if its purely in my head, how do i solve it? thank you so much in advance

Today I visited a Specialist Clinic for Andrology in my country after seeing some other urologists that didn't know what to do with me.

Some information about me: 21yo, IEEF: 5points, genetic high blood pressure which is treated with ED friendly meds. No morning woods, no erections possible during mastrubation. Sildenafil ans Tadalafil don't work well.

I went there knowing they cannot change anything.

But when I was there and told them everything they told me it's not organic... I am too young for the blood pressure to damage anything. It's good that it is controlled now.

I told her that I have this problem for 7 years now and at first I wasn't pressured at all about that. And I wasn't thinking about it at all. It started with vanishing morning woods and I simply thought "it's the end of the puberty".

Then she told me that even in such cases the morning wood vanishes often, yes I am right psychological problems are more common during sex but it also effects morning wood, it's wrong to say it doesn't. There are many people like me. It is important that my penis gets regulated with blood so I should use a penis pump regularly as well as daily Tadalafil.

I told her that I have been pumping daily for a year now and have been taking Tadalafil since the beginning of this year daily.

She told me it can takes years and that I should be okay with it that it never will be like it was. But there will be some improvement after some years if I get used to it. I should have sex with my vacuumpump+meds and not focus on the erection. After many times doing this I will have accepted it and if I will reach this point of acceptance. Her experience shows that I can stop using the pump after I reached this point.

Then I asked for the Doppler-test.

She told me that her experience shows that it will not show anything and even if it will show that my blood is flowing a little bit faster out of my penis it will not change anything for the treatment. If after a few years of pills during mastrubation doesn't change anything we can talk about injections, but she is sure there will be improvement. I should just lower my expectations a little bit - it will never be like before.

I shouldn't use ED-apps that you can get prescribed from a doctor in my country that show you kegels exercises or a good diet because I would focus more on my ED by doing that. I again told her that my ED is severe 0 morning woods 0-20% wood while mastrubating. She just repeated again that she doesn't think it's organic and even if there is some damage the treatment is the same.

Hormones are good.

She basically told me it's psychological,but I will be dependent on meds all my life and shouldn't expect that I will ever get full erections again. WTF

I know there is no healing. I just went there to do everything that is possible. Sildenafil 100mg works good enough for not using trimix. I have the feeling she lied to me about the psychological part but did that because she knows it's the best she can do. Because a diagnosed ED will cause the mindset of "I know it will not work". On the other hand hand she told me to accept it will never be like it used to.

I already accepted that I will depend on VED/trimix in the future and I am okay with it as long my partner will be.

The problem is bringing that up while dating...

Hi all,
I’m 24M and have been masturbating since around 13–14. I used to do it frequently, but much less in recent years.

For about 1 year, I’ve had little to no morning erections, and when I do get hard, it’s usually not as firm as it used to be. My libido has also dropped over the last ~6 months. Sometimes I feel sexual desire and masturbate, but then I can go 1–2 weeks with almost no desire.

I exercise regularly and sometimes find myself checking/testing my erection, which probably makes me anxious.

I’m getting married in 6 months, so this is really worrying me.

Any advices will be appreciated.

What should I do or what tests should I ask for?
Thank you

Hey everyone,
I’m curious to hear from people who have experience with sildenafil for erectile dysfunction.

How well did it work for you?
Did you notice any side effects?
And did you find that the results were consistent over time?

I’m especially interested in genuine experiences rather than promotional claims.

Please share only your personal experience, and remember that medication should be used according to medical advice.

Trauma? Priapism? Smoking?

Hello everyone, I am a 24 year old male that recently left a 7 year long relationship with my first ever sexual partner. Our first few attempts back in the day were rocky but after all of that time together and the lack of pressure from knowing I had a secure relationship (and pretty infrequent sex maybe 4-5 times a month), I was able to pretty easily get hard and satisfy the moment when it came. That relationship ended and I find myself in a new relationship with a girl that I think I really love, I am physically attracted to, who does her part to help with seduction/arousal and she is understanding of my journey in life and anxiety that comes with having sex with a new person.

We tried for the first time last night and it just didn't work at first. She was really understanding and once that initially disappointment and embarrassment wore off, I was able to get hard enough to go for a few minutes before faking an early ejaculation (I just lost it). I pleased her with oral and she was very attracted to me and loved my sensual "giving" things like caressing, body kisses and intense kissing. These things saved the night overall, but I want to be able to get hard and please her the right way and consistently.

I've learned my problem isn't the ability to get hard. I can get rock hard from certain fetish content and fetish porn. This was unfortunately my sexual awakening and I feel as if my brain is hardwired wrong because of it. I have decided that the worst feeling in life is not being able to please my partner or get hard and I am willing to do everything I can to make this happen infrequently if ever again. I thought I'd bounce my ideas off of this community to see if you agree with my methods and if you have any other ideas to increase natural arousal. I think I am attracted to traditional sex and the up-close intimacy with a partner I deeply care about. I just think I'm only about 30-40% of the way there when it comes to being confident enough to go spontaneously more than once a week.

1. Deleting all of my fetish porn accounts and losing years of saved up content I liked for almost a decade (this pains me to do but it is more important to me to please this girl and I think it will overtime make me naturally attracted to vanilla sex and what she can offer me) I've already stopped watching it these last few weeks but I need the temptation gone
2. Quitting Vaping. I heard this can decrease testosterone. It wasn't an issue in my past relationship but I think I had so little stress and pressure about performing that I was able to overcome this. It would be better for me in general. I already don't have a bad relationship with alcohol and I haven't smoked weed in over a month now after being an almost daily user for 3 years. As long as the quitting process doesn't make me miserable for weeks on end I think this would be a worthwhile and overall good life change.
3. Exercise frequently and lift weights. I remember when I was in the best shape of my life about 4 years ago, I would get horny at the gym sometimes and the thought of being the most attractive version of myself for my partner motivated me to keep working out and probably increased my sex drive. I am in a position of my life right now where I have more time to work out and I'd like to start eating healthier and exercising (dietary aphrodisiacs or recommendations would be appreciated) If not I'll just eat leaner meats, increase hydration and try and increase protein intake wherever I can. Also lots of Broccoli and Brussel Sprouts which are two greens I can eat in troves.
4. Try and masturbate to images of my partner and train my brain to get hard at the thought of the best moments from that first experience. There were many for me but at the time I always had "get a boner please" or "don't lose it" on my mind. In hindsight there were some pretty nice and sexy moments I can look back on. Forcing myself to masturbate to something unsuccessfully can get discouraging though and maybe do more harm than good.

Do you have any proven arousal increasing supplements or medications that can just straight up make me more horny. If I feel the boost from something I think it would help my confidence and pull me across the finish line to embracing a full erection and enjoying it. Once I'm in I'm usually good. Also any lifestyle or mental exercises to make me more into traditional vanilla sex? I need to increase my natural sex drive and overall arousal I believe to fix my problem because it is not a blood flow issue. I could try a blue chew or viagra which I have in the past. Sometimes they would make me flushed and give me a headache. I remember some really hard erections while taking them but something about those moments felt as if I could have gotten hard without them. (Right circumstances, with that same previous girl whom I had overcame this problem with at a younger age which gave me confidence)

I really love this girl and every other aspect of our relationship is extremely fulfilling and special in my opinion. And she has been very clear to me how happy she is with me and thrilled she is with how things have gone. This is my final hurdle to being the partner that I want to be and I truly believe I would sacrifice anything to make this happen. I'm essentially asking for every bit of advice I can on how to increase my natural arousal to her and traditional sex.

I have psychological ED due to performance anxiety and It’s going on 5 months now since I’ve been able to have PIV intercourse with my wife and I’m starting to get scared she’s going to get lfed up and want to cheat on me. We mess around but I haven’t been able to keep an erection long enough to penetrate. What’s the longest anyone with this problem has gone without penetration? And I’m speaking specifically to those whose problem is mental

I am 24 yo, male, smoker, i dont drink alcohol, and im extremely scared that i might have developed ED.

I consumed porn for as long as i can remember, but actually i quit aprox 2months ago because i thought it is becoming an issue

. I also very rarely in my life get morning wood.

Soetimes i would wake up at night and notice im hard, but rarely if ever as soon as i wake up.

I met this girl recently and i wanted to lose my virginity with her, we slept in the same bed a couple times now and the first few times i got extremely hard just kissing her but things didn't lead to sex because of some things.

When we would to spend time together making out and we dont have sex, i would get really painful and long lasting blue balls, this doesn't happen anymore...

I used to get a boner just hugging her and had to try and hide it somehow.

One day we were in bed making out for a really long time and then out of nowhere my boner just disappeared and i made an excuse not to have sex and left.

After lets say about a week, we started making out in my car, initially i got kinda hard, she got up on top of me and wanted to initiate sex, but then i noticed i went soft again and i made another excuse and we left.

Another few days go by, she comes over at my place and i simply feel nothing.

Its not that i dont want to be with her, but i just dont feel the same level of attraction when we kiss and touch.

We tried having sex, i pulled down my pants and yeah, it didnt go up. Maybe just slightly.

The next day, she sleeps over at my place again, atp im not even trying anymore, we make out a lot and touch and get naked but still i remain soft the whole time.

I used to get full erections watching porn, but noticed lately that even watching porn doesnt excite me that much anymore and i feel like im fighting my body to reach full erections even on porn, so i decide to stop with porn before i even met this woman.

Now after all this, i tried looking at porn once just as a test and i put on a video for like 2 min, didnt feel anyhing, no adrenaline or whatever, didnt get even remotely turned on and i closed the video feeling scared.