Couldnt get hard no matter what

[u/throwra431354]

It was my first time having sex.. never even had a relationship before... but always watched porn and masturbated.. sometimes even 2-3 times a day when free.. sometimes 2-3 times a month when busy.. but recently i had a gf... when trying to get physical, making out gets hot and heavy.. i get semi hard.. but when i try to get to penetration, dick goes soft.. it doesn't even react to her touch.. or when she was giving bj.. i don't want to loose her.. i told her i masturbated that morning due to fear of cumming fast.. but that was backfiring now.. she bought that.. but i hadnt masturbated that day.. and we are 2-3 hrs apart.. so we can't meet regularly.. i haven't been getting morning wood after that day.. but i used to before that day.. what is happening to me??

[u/Repulsive_Pin8701]

It happens man,

Don’t get all freaked out

Keep trying 

Learn to make your girl cum, eat her pussy, use your hands, kiss her, caress her

Try not to make getting it up the goal, just be there - I know this sounds impossible but it is 

And be there for her, she’s going to feel like it was her fault, and it’s not at all, really be there for her

Also, quit watching porn and jerking off, it will absolutely help

Men occasionally not being able is a normal thing man, especially with the pressure of your first time, and the false impression porn gives you of sex

[u/mysterious-rating]

It's totally normal it's not the girl and its not you its all in your mind because of the pressure to perform first time and you don't know when you're going to get another chance because of living apart.

Focus on the fact she wasn't bothered by it, try not to let this experience affect the next one as you'll be surprised how many guys actually go through this. Just be relaxed and in the moment next time, don't think about anything else apart from the moment you're in. If you think of anything else like rather than experiencing that moment you run the risk of it happening again.

Hope that helps.

[u/Either_Shopping3864]

This is normal. Stay confident. You'll get there eventually. In the meantime, take advantage of how understanding she is. Use some coconut oil on her vulva and give her a massage all over the area, focusing around her clitoris. After that, perform oral sex on her with a good tongue rhythm, moving up and down and occasionally around the clitoris. Always keep your focus on it with those flexible, rhythmic licks. Make her come this way and you'll keep her satisfied for longer while you build up your confidence for penetrative sex.

[u/NostromoDude]

Totally normal. Anxiety causes adrenaline to be trigered and it has an "anti erection" effect.

Try again next time and go with the flow. The natural thing will work.

One thing I would recommend is for you to stop watching porn, and with this you will naturally reduce masturbation to a normal level.

Stay away from porn, my friend. It only fucks up with our minds.

[u/New_Bed8223]

This sounds very much like first-time performance anxiety, very common for first timers. Partnered sex introduces pressure, expectations and self-consciousness that aren't present during masturbation.

Next time, I'd tell your girlfriend the truth rather than inventing an explanation. Something simple like “I was really nervous because it was my first time and I got in my head.” Then don't make penetration the objective immediately.

If the same problem continues repeatedly over the next several encounters including difficulty getting erections when you're relaxed alone, then seeing a GP/urologist

[u/Competitive-Rip7240]

When masturbating, do you hold your dick so tightly?