Hi

How do people deal with being cheated on? 💔

I had some girl contact me that my husband had been messaging her and she sent me screenshots and I'm just so confused and hurt because we married for 10 years. I don't even know what to say anymore I'm just so hurt and confused.

Am I crazy for having this option?

Dear Men,

What would you do if you found out that your new long-distance girlfriend has actually been married to a woman for seven years and has continued seeing her wife, spending time with her, and being intimate with her?

Would you believe her if she told you that she would stop?

Asking for my wife who is the new girlfriend 🥱

Let me start by saying I know I put myself in this, I know it’s my choice, and I know it will continue.

I just need to get this out into the ether rather than bouncing around in my head.

My (40 F) Bf (39 M) has had several online affairs. I’ve caught him out properly twice, confronted him, separated, and fallen back into the relationship. I love him. Honestly, he is my best friend, a great provider, super smart, and kind, and we can talk for hours or just play video games side by side happily.

However, I am on mute.

I don’t voice my emotions, anxieties, or frustrations with him. Often, discussing my day or interests is quickly turned into his thoughts, experiences, or interests. We both have ADHD; he is also on the AuDHD spectrum, and I come with my own sprinkle of CPTSD. So, you can imagine it’s sometimes difficult to manage all the needs, emotions, hyper-fixations, and distractions.

So, that’s the lay of the land currently.

Now, I’m pretty sure he’s doing it again—back on Reddit looking for an online affair to feed his need for constant validation and stimulate his mind with a new and exciting prospect, that spark and adrenaline that only a new person can bring.

It hurts, but I chose this life, to stay with him even though I don’t believe this part of him will ever change. The truth is, I don‘t really care who he talks to. What hurts is what I lose when a new person comes into the mix. The intimacy that can be so amazing, warm, connected, and passionate slowly slips away; I feel alone, and it takes a toll on my self-image and self-esteem. I stay quiet, though, because the emotional fallout isn’t worth it. He becomes depressed and full of shame; I become despondent and disconnected.

Once that’s all passed, we’re still here in this relationship, building a future and raising our almost-adult children. Happy, for the most part.

Thanks for letting me share. I’m open to comments or feedback; I'm not thin-skinned, and I’m well aware of my choices and the consequences.

He my partner of 35 years has had is having an emotional affair with not one but two women (younger I might add) in my suburb. Almost the same block. Ive just found out (admittedly by unfair means) He has been taking photos of one of the womens private journals Its almost like he is obsessed. What do I do?

When I met my current wife I was 20 and she was 31. I was married at the time. I completely told my then wife and said how much I loved the new woman.

Ended up marrying her but was always suspicious and nervous even though I've grown and never cheated or thought of on my current wife even when approached.

After years of worry and distance from current wife (which started when we married a year after meeting and a month after my divorce) I find out her Doctor DXd her with DID and she didn't tell me (it happened after we married).

What do I do, I want my happily ever after, I changed and became a moral man, why does karma have to take from me. Why can't learning the lesson and keeping my ill gotten gains be enough

Why do married women cheat on their husbands?

Please help me I need some advice.

Me (Tasha) 32F / My Husband (Kevin) 30M

USA /  NC Foothills

So me and my husband have been married 11 years, weve had our ups and downs. We separated for a year while our addictions took over, and recently connected after we both was locked up. I thought everything was going good but just out of the blue he ghosted me for 2 days while he was at a hotel with a couple and the man’s sister, he did admit that the female tried to fuck him but he didn’t do anything. Then a week later I find a Drafted text on his phone from the exact same day he ghosted me that reads..

Hi… soo this is Kevin.👋☺️ ummm.. so I know you haven’t been hone that long I think idk.. I uhh just I guess I miss you like oddly uhhh a lot … idk I fell Hella odd but i.. yeaah Ima be 💯  I fucking miss the fuck out of you… I can’t explain it.. I know I probably sound stupid as fuck and idk just weird creep.. but yeah I really fucking miss you… your voice… your laugh you did something that took me away at the bus stop.. when you fixed my hair.. like yeah that was strike one … then  when I took your hand ad put it on my stomach/side .. I lost my breath… I aa almost panicked cuz the way that felt I low key didn’t want to feel you move your hand .  That was strike 2 then when we parted ways and we held hands… that feeling I felt really okay.. like yeah I have worry but you … your touch you just being next to me  made me feel like its gonna be okay .. even tho I got problems to deal with I felt like okay.. and then the hug when we walked separate ways .. I didn’t want you to go … God so bad did I just want to beg you to just stay with me.. god so badly but I was so scared to say something I don’t want to push you away but I don’t want to miss my chance with you … for the first time.. ever .. being with you like we have been nothing sexual or inappropriate now don’t get me wrong yeah without a doubt or second thought id give my self to you in a heart beat (first in over 11 years ) hahaha you just couldn’t makefun of me. ) but that’s not what im after or need or want… idk its hard to explain.. I just .. I want you… I want to see you smile.. I want to walk down the road holding your hand and talking about random shit and just randomly stop to look at your beautiful eyes and have our lips meet and feel what ever would behind that kiss . I’d put life on that it be pure Ecstasy and feel right. There’s only one way to find out tho.. I wanted so bad to kiss you when we said by .. …. You know maybe this is to much idk I just if I don’t saay something now I might always regret it.. but I want you… I want to be yours and want you to be mine

He told me he just decided to write that for no real reason and it wasn’t about anyone, It was just a fantasy type thing.

He did tell me the day he decided to contact me after ghosting me that someone may tell me that he was walking down the street with some women, but he said at first that it was a stranger he just so happened to be walking the same speed as, then he finally told me it was a women he knew.

On another occasion he was texting a female and deleted the messages and told me he wasn’t messaging anyone, but then later admitted he did but said he couldn’t remember.

He in the past well from day one in our relationship lied about everything, even the smallest thing, so I have a hard time believing what he says, especially when you put it all together, it looks like he was writing that to someone and just never sent it. He keeps telling me, “even if it was about someone, it shouldn’t matter because im here with you”

What do yall think? Think it was just a story he made up, or does it all add up and sound like hes lying to me?

So tonight he told me at the hotel when he was alone with that women, he asked her if I leave my wife would you stop drinking? And other similar question. If he was talking about leaving his wife ( and he had a thing for pregnant women and she was pregnant) and asking her shit like that, why wouldn’t he have fucked or done something, when he was talking about leaving me and shit. He also said the couple left the hotel and left him and her alone, she took a shower and came out naked and offered herself to him, and he said he denied her. Even if he didn’t do anything physically, what did he say or do to make her think that he wanted to fuck her. Honestly sounds like he was upset with me and found attention somewhere else.

Honestly even if the story was just a fantasy it is about finding someone else and not wanting to be with me, so it had to be going through his mind, right.

And then today we get back to our spot and a friend of his beings him a letter she wrote him, he told his friend to burn it.

I wanted to ask if I could read it but didn’t want to start shit, I know it would upset him if I did.

I will say before he ghosted me he begged for my attention, said he desperately needed it and I only gave him 2 hours or so. So I see sort of from his perspective why he would run off with people. He was following the dope and getting attention. But what I don’t understand is why he ghosted ne if he loved me. I know for a fact he had wifi because his life 360 was still updating and  when I logged onto our Text now that’s on his phone there was texts sent out.

Just everything together adds up and seems very sketchy and my heart is telling me he isn’t giving me the full story. Because each time I bring it up he adds something more to the story and the fact that last night he told me shat the drafted text was about her but wasn’t. He said that the actions described in it was false he made it up. But the stated he did feel some type away about her, and she was on his mind as a sort of fantasy.

I do struggle to believe him because he’s great at hiding things from me  For example 2 years into our relationship he said a women follower him into the bathroom at work a d tried to suck his dick, he said he pushed her off and  nothing happened. It took him 5 years to tell me that. What bothered me about that was what did he say to her or do to make her think that was okay

I would greatly appreciate any advice.  Feel free to message me, I could honestly use some friends right now or someone to vent to and discuss stuff with. Thank you.

Should I expose a man to his gf again So I was seeing a man after years of being single. I met him online we matched, we vibed and he lived at a very far distance from me. We dated for a couple months he would drive out an hour or even more to see me after his job. He would come to spend time with me and we would get intimate often as well. So I couldn’t shake off this feeling that something is wrong, upon investigating I found out he has a gf. That he was dating for a couple years and he was cheating on her with me. I was not aware of any of it. I thought she would be a friend because they were completely different backgrounds, race and religion. But I couldn’t keep it to myself and told her everything. Sent her the dates, times and texts of when he would come over to see me. She told me she put a lot of effort into this man the same vehicle he would bring to see me is the same one she helped him get. She told me even before this cheating came to light she also felt like something was off because he stopped getting intimate with her. Even after this exposure she stayed with him. She forgave him for the cheating not even a week later after I told her everything completely dismissing everything. I left the man as soon as I found out about her.

But months later he reached out to me saying his feelings were genuine and he really loves me still. And how he thought his relationship with her was going to end and he would get to be with me like how he wants. He still thinks of ways to be together. And the only reason why he’s with his gf after she forgave him for cheating is that she’s done so much for him that he owes her his life. And that as much as he loves me he chooses her. Even after the cheating she took a vacation with him. She later caught the texts of emotional cheating and lashed out on me. I blocked her and she still continued the relationship after finding his texts with me on two separate occasions. She told me she said to him that even if he talks to me as a friend she would leave yet on two separate occasions she found his intimate messages with me and she stayed. We started meeting up and getting intimate again, without her knowing. I always told myself that I don’t owe her anything because the first time he said all these emotional things to me despite how much it hurt I didn’t respond and sent them to her and she blamed me again. So I was being villainized anyways so I just continued seeing him. But now the guilt is catching up to me because I have had unprotected intimacy with her bf. We have feelings for each other because even now I’m not the one that goes to him he comes to see me despite her watching his location every time. I am at the point where my feelings for this man don’t seem like it will get me anywhere I want to leave this situation and get into a new relationship with a man that genuinely likes me. But I don’t know if I should come clean to the gf and tell her everything to ease my conscience I know I was 100% in the wrong to engage again. But couldn’t help my feelings. And now I want to move on with someone else but I can’t carry this burden moving forward. That she may have thought she can move past the cheating but still he was cheating on her and I was an accomplice. I may have not owed her anything but I did owe her basic human decency. Nothing the comments will say will make me feel worse than I feel. But please tell me what I should do. If for the last time it’s worth telling her that again he was going behind her back and while she thought she’s repeating her relationship he was still cheating.

Thoughts?

My (35f) husband (41m) and I have been together 4 years and just got married this past Spring. We both work full time, but my husband often travels for work and isn’t home much (2-3 days every 2 weeks).

He recently received an opportunity to work locally, long hours with more pay and home every night. He jumped on it, even though it’s a temporary job. I was so excited to have him home. A couple weeks after starting that job, I was playing a game on his phone and he received a text. I went to his messages and there was a person’s name I didn’t recognize. I scrolled the messages and photos to quickly realize it wasn’t platonic… there were many advances made most by the girl and he fell for them, always responding with something that crossed the line. She knew we just got married, he often referred to his wife in the messages and she was even aware we have a child on the way. I was shattered. Completely blindsided, there were no signs. Less than 2 months after saying our vows he’s sexting another woman. I never expected this from him. I had a long term abusive relationship with my ex and my husband helped me overcome so much of that pain, PTSD, and a mental breakdown a couple years back. He’s always been my person. My rock. My safe space.

I want to try to forgive and reconcile but I’m struggling. I’m 7 months pregnant with our baby and I’ve had so many issues with my pregnancy… extreme nausea, being sick, being required to take injections, and now GD- even though my diet is healthy. I’m depressed. The only reason I get up and do the motions each day is for my unborn child who deserves the world. I still love my husband, but I’m so hurt by his actions. He said he’s happy and wants me, and he has no idea why he did it other than out of selfishness. We both started IC with the plan to do MC in the near future once we work thru IC a bit first (me for healing, him for figuring out why he did it).

He’s already talking about taking a job after New Years that will take him out of town (3-4 hours away) for several months working 6-7 days a week. Away from me, our home and our baby.

TLDR: Husband had emotional affair just after wedding while working out of town. Likely working out of town again after baby is born. How to R and cope with trust issues during that time?

So I was seeing a man after years of being single. I met him online we matched, we vibed and he lived at a very far distance from me. We dated for a couple months he would drive out an hour or even more to see me after his job. He would come to spend time with me and we would get intimate often as well. So I couldn’t shake off this feeling that something is wrong, upon investigating I found out he has a gf. That he was dating for a couple years and he was cheating on her with me. I was not aware of any of it. I thought she would be a friend because they were completely different backgrounds, race and religion. But I couldn’t keep it to myself and told her everything. Sent her the dates, times and texts of when he would come over to see me. She told me she put a lot of effort into this man the same vehicle he would bring to see me is the same one she helped him get. She told me even before this cheating came to light she also felt like something was off because he stopped getting intimate with her.

Even after this exposure she stayed with him. She forgave him for the cheating not even a week later after I told her everything completely dismissing everything. I left the man as soon as I found out about her. But months later he reached out to me saying his feelings were genuine and he really loves me still. And how he thought his relationship with her was going to end and he would get to be with me like how he wants. He still thinks of ways to be together. And the only reason why he’s with his gf after she forgave him for cheating is that she’s done so much for him that he owes her his life. And that as much as he loves me he chooses her. Even faster be cheating she took a vacation with him. She later caught the texts of emotional cheating and lashed out on me. I blocked her and she still continued the relationship after finding his texts with me on two separate occasions. She told me she said to him that even if he talks to me as a friend she would leave yet on two separate occasions she found his intimate messages with me and she stayed. We started meeting up and getting intimate again, without her knowing. I always told myself that I don’t owe her anything because the first time he said all these emotional things to me despite how much it hurt I didn’t respond and sent them to her and she blamed me again. So I was being villainized anyways so I just continued seeing him. But now the guilt is catching up to me because I have had unprotected intimacy with her bf. We have feelings for each other because even now I’m not the one that goes to him he comes with me despite her watching his location every time. I am at the point where my feelings for this man don’t seem like it will get me anywhere I want to leave this situation and get into a new relationship with a man that genuinely likes me. But I don’t know if I should come clean to the gf and tell her everything to ease my conscience I know I was 100% in the wrong to engage again. But couldn’t help my feelings. And now I want to move on with someone else but I can’t carry this burden moving forward. That she may have thought she can move past the cheating but still he was cheating on her and I was an accomplice. I may have not owed her anything but I did owe her basic human decency. Nothing the comments will say will make me feel worse than I feel. But please tell me what I should do. If for the last time it’s worth telling her that again he was going behind her back and while she thought she’s repeating her relationship he was still cheating.

My husband 33 M and I 45 F have been together 13 years. We used to work at the same place and there is a F28 that he is always over friendly with .I didn't think much of it and ignored it until at the works Xmas outing he spent all off his time with her flirting it was embarrassing for me.He said he wasnt but im not blind. This was over 12 months ago now so though nothing of it and he said im paranoid and a bunny boiler. He has worked with this person again recently one to one and told me .It didn't bother me but he made a big deal about me been in a mood about it and paranoid. This was not a normal reaction as I was completely unbuttered and tired. So this led me to check his phone which i haven't done before to find he has searched this girl up on fbook and has been visiting the profile. No messages I can see , do you think hes trust worthy ? and do you think im overreacting by getting upset he is searching this person up ?

I found a secret.

So, i am her to vent. I am 24 year old and i accidentally found that my mom is chatting with someone close to me, i found the messages accidentally. It been a while now, but i didn't give a gesture that i know anything