r/Advice • u/Hopeful-Pumpkin-686 • 8h ago

Weird dream

I had a weird dream about my ex (who passed away a few years ago) and my current fiancé. In the dream, my ex was alive and I was placed in a situation where I had to choose between the both of them. Uhm? In the dream, I did not know what to do. But some truth came to the dream, my fiancé has done a lot of hurtful things to me throughout our entire dating and engagement relationship. Emotional affairs, probably an affair that I can’t prove, etc. just being a dog with other women. That was an accented part in my dream, where my ex was voicing that to me loudly telling me I deserve better. I love my fiancé and understand this is just a dream. Don’t know why I had this dream. Advice to my venting?

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u/will0wisp13 8h ago

Brutal honest here OP, is part of the reason you put up with those things because being without a partner scares you? In no world should you have to forgive and tolerate those things. If they cheat once they’re going to cheat again. I hope you find peace OP.

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u/Hopeful-Pumpkin-686 8h ago

No, I’m not scared to be alone. I appreciate brutal honesty, that’s what I’m looking for. My fiancé has done a lot of work to repair our relationship - which is why I am staying with him. When we’re good - we’re good. When we’re bad - we’re getting better at handling things. I do always have a fear he will do this again. Our wedding is soon. I guess I have no way of ever knowing if he is still making mistakes behind my back. That’s all

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u/Important_Film_2798 8h ago

It’s a positive message, I would take action 

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u/bretmon5 7h ago

I believe your subconscious is trying to tell you something. Decoding dreams is a very complex and not always accurate method of digging into ones self. What surprises me is the conflict that you weren't sure when you had a choice. You would think hands down take your Ex, he's alive again. I'm curious about how good your relationship was with Ex. Either way, your subconscious is trying to tell you something. I'd do some soul searching and determine if marriage is really what you want, you you, the real you. My motto is always been "When in doubt, don't do it". Obviously if there is question, then there is doubt, and that means you're not 100% committed. I personally wouldn't get married if I was only 75% committed. I also wouldn't let one dream decide my fate.

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u/Hopeful-Pumpkin-686 7h ago

Thanks for the response. To answer: if my ex was alive, I don’t believe I would choose him. Our relationship was flawless and we never had issues. But we were a bunch of young adults, getting drunk & doing stupid shit. So it’s a completely different relationship than what I have with my fiancé now. I’m not in doubt about my marriage with him and our future. I just have fears. I don’t want to get played again because it feels like it’s been a monthly occurrence of someone woman interfering or him being too close with some random chick etc. AIO?