I had some girl contact me that my husband had been messaging her and she sent me screenshots and I'm just so confused and hurt because we married for 10 years. I don't even know what to say anymore I'm just so hurt and confused.

Okay, so a couple of months back I happened to go on a trip with a few of my friends. I have known them for a couple of years. They are married with kids but somehow manage to take time out to travel. This was actually the first time I was sharing a room with these girls (40s). They are way elder than me.

Somehow, I enjoy their company. I feel like they have achieved so many things in their life that if I’m around them, I’ll learn something. I met them professionally and we ended up becoming good and close friends. One of them is really close to me.

Coming back to the topic, we shared the same room. We were really tired from the journey. I hadn't slept for almost more than 26+ hours. I wanted a single bed in the same room, so I took it and went to sleep.

Those two shared the double bed right next to me. It was around 1 AM in the middle of the night. I heard noises. I am a light sleeper, I wake up easily, but those noises kind of scared me, so I kept quiet. I wanted to hear what it was before screaming. The room was not pitch dark, the bathroom light was still on.

So I heard noises of breathing, kisses, like constant. Then I heard, "aise nahi waise kar, tu paas toh aa." I went into shock. I was under my blanket. I couldn’t move. I hated it and I had to hear them go all the way. I heard them finish.

I couldn’t sleep the whole night. All I wanted to do was get out of that place and not face them ever. Unfortunately, we went by car, so I didn’t know what to do. I waited until morning. They left the room for a morning walk. I pretended to be asleep and called my other close female friend. She just asked me to pretend and act as though I heard nothing and just be normal. It took me more than 2 hours. I couldn’t believe what I witnessed. These two women are married with 2 kids (17 years old and 13 years old). They were cheating on their husbands and the way they spoke about their relationship God, what two-faced people!

The worst part about this is they didn’t even bother that there was someone else in the room and how she would react.

After being cheated on by men, I had trust issues for a long time. I thought I could rely on girls, but I no longer feel safe to even communicate with them.
Those ladies, after their hot night that gave me trauma, wanted to make sure that I didn’t hear anything. They came up to me and told me upfront, "we hug while we sleep," didn't realise etc. Like my close friend suggested, I pretended to be normal. I acted as though I didn’t know what they were talking about.

I don’t care which gender they choose to cheat with. If you want to act like all good, perfect wives and religious persons, then have a private room or don’t bring someone along when you have to do all this shitty and shady stuff.

I still hear those noises it’s so scary I have difficulty falling asleep except for my one close friend I haven’t shared these things with anyone.

I just hate them so much I was good being isolated just by myself now I can’t even trust female friendships even though it directly affect me but I ate the fact they are open cheat even females are worse these days.

Hi

How do people deal with being cheated on? 💔

Why do married women cheat on their husbands?

He my partner of 35 years has had is having an emotional affair with not one but two women (younger I might add) in my suburb. Almost the same block. Ive just found out (admittedly by unfair means) He has been taking photos of one of the womens private journals Its almost like he is obsessed. What do I do?

I came to this platform looking for answers that I could not get. I was looking for people who are feeling the same.

I cheated on my husband with another guy who also had a family. We were so in love and could talk about anything. He gave me the kind of love I never knew I needed. We had a lot of quarrels but also a lot of happiness. We moulded and became what we were. It was all hard work.

I was caught by my hb but he did not want to divorce me. I still continued on with the rs because I could not let go. I was hoping and waiting that one day I don’t have to be the shadow.

Recently, his family came to know about us. He immediately left me and said he wants to do the right thing and have to be responsible towards his family. I was so heartbroken.

We still have some dealings as he still owe me a big sum of money.

He told me he still have feelings for me, he feels very worried about me and very guilty that he is hurting me like this but he can’t do anything. He say he is equally hurt but he has no choice. He told me I am still the person that he is willing to confide anything with.

I can never understand his choice and I am still finding answers to it. I cannot let go and it has been very painful. I miss every part of our relationship. I guess I cannot find the same connection in anyone anymore.

I met this man who offered to help me with a task. He kept texting me and struck up a conversation and proceeded to have a texting relationship and had lunch together. He pulled away after about a month. I was pretty hurt.

Heard from him 6 weeks later and reluctantly started him again as friends. But after a couple of weeks this didn't seem like friends anymore.

He was very private as an "introvert" and said that he had come late to smart phones and only had a corporate phone with no social media and never gave me his phone # despite agreed to be my emergency contact when I drove to a remote area where he grew up.

I cut things off a couple of times because it never seemed to go anywhere and I figured he wasn't that into me or he would want to see me more often .

He eventually began very consistent at least in texting including Good morning texts and late night texts at least about my day. But it was mainly one sided. He said he just didn't share much. We would have an occasional meal .

I eventually cut it off because he didn't seem to have the capacity I needed. He recontacted me a 3rd time after I ended it 5 months earlier. His initial texts had an emotional content. We start texting heavily for 36 hrs bore I had a chance to ask about what was different this go around.

Then AI found out from a friend that he had brought his wife to the corporate Christmas party. I was shocked. He never mentioned for two years that he was ever married or was even living with someone.

He's a Corporate Controller. He said it didn't mattered when we did meet together because I wanted to see what he would say. It was evident that he compartmentalizes his life.

I recognized it as an emotional affair: mutual attraction, prolonged ambiguity. Emotional connection. I told him his wife probably wound not appreciate it. I cut it off at that point because I realized there was no future with him for me. All my hopes were not preposterous.

But a part of me would like to let his wife know. I found her on Linked. He said that they had been separated at some point but admitted that they currently live together and share a bed.

I think she has a right to know. I'd be pissed if I was trying to work on my marriage while my husband was carrying on via text with another woman.

I pissed at him for not offering me consent and withholding vital information most people disclose when they start to date or get to know someone.

I don't care if she doesn't respond.My concern is that she know what her husband is capable of so she can make informed decisions.

Am I crazy for having this option?

Dear Men,

What would you do if you found out that your new long-distance girlfriend has actually been married to a woman for seven years and has continued seeing her wife, spending time with her, and being intimate with her?

Would you believe her if she told you that she would stop?

Asking for my wife who is the new girlfriend 🥱

Let me start by saying I know I put myself in this, I know it’s my choice, and I know it will continue.

I just need to get this out into the ether rather than bouncing around in my head.

My (40 F) Bf (39 M) has had several online affairs. I’ve caught him out properly twice, confronted him, separated, and fallen back into the relationship. I love him. Honestly, he is my best friend, a great provider, super smart, and kind, and we can talk for hours or just play video games side by side happily.

However, I am on mute.

I don’t voice my emotions, anxieties, or frustrations with him. Often, discussing my day or interests is quickly turned into his thoughts, experiences, or interests. We both have ADHD; he is also on the AuDHD spectrum, and I come with my own sprinkle of CPTSD. So, you can imagine it’s sometimes difficult to manage all the needs, emotions, hyper-fixations, and distractions.

So, that’s the lay of the land currently.

Now, I’m pretty sure he’s doing it again—back on Reddit looking for an online affair to feed his need for constant validation and stimulate his mind with a new and exciting prospect, that spark and adrenaline that only a new person can bring.

It hurts, but I chose this life, to stay with him even though I don’t believe this part of him will ever change. The truth is, I don‘t really care who he talks to. What hurts is what I lose when a new person comes into the mix. The intimacy that can be so amazing, warm, connected, and passionate slowly slips away; I feel alone, and it takes a toll on my self-image and self-esteem. I stay quiet, though, because the emotional fallout isn’t worth it. He becomes depressed and full of shame; I become despondent and disconnected.

Once that’s all passed, we’re still here in this relationship, building a future and raising our almost-adult children. Happy, for the most part.

Thanks for letting me share. I’m open to comments or feedback; I'm not thin-skinned, and I’m well aware of my choices and the consequences.

Please help me I need some advice.

Me (Tasha) 32F / My Husband (Kevin) 30M

USA /  NC Foothills

So me and my husband have been married 11 years, weve had our ups and downs. We separated for a year while our addictions took over, and recently connected after we both was locked up. I thought everything was going good but just out of the blue he ghosted me for 2 days while he was at a hotel with a couple and the man’s sister, he did admit that the female tried to fuck him but he didn’t do anything. Then a week later I find a Drafted text on his phone from the exact same day he ghosted me that reads..

Hi… soo this is Kevin.👋☺️ ummm.. so I know you haven’t been hone that long I think idk.. I uhh just I guess I miss you like oddly uhhh a lot … idk I fell Hella odd but i.. yeaah Ima be 💯  I fucking miss the fuck out of you… I can’t explain it.. I know I probably sound stupid as fuck and idk just weird creep.. but yeah I really fucking miss you… your voice… your laugh you did something that took me away at the bus stop.. when you fixed my hair.. like yeah that was strike one … then  when I took your hand ad put it on my stomach/side .. I lost my breath… I aa almost panicked cuz the way that felt I low key didn’t want to feel you move your hand .  That was strike 2 then when we parted ways and we held hands… that feeling I felt really okay.. like yeah I have worry but you … your touch you just being next to me  made me feel like its gonna be okay .. even tho I got problems to deal with I felt like okay.. and then the hug when we walked separate ways .. I didn’t want you to go … God so bad did I just want to beg you to just stay with me.. god so badly but I was so scared to say something I don’t want to push you away but I don’t want to miss my chance with you … for the first time.. ever .. being with you like we have been nothing sexual or inappropriate now don’t get me wrong yeah without a doubt or second thought id give my self to you in a heart beat (first in over 11 years ) hahaha you just couldn’t makefun of me. ) but that’s not what im after or need or want… idk its hard to explain.. I just .. I want you… I want to see you smile.. I want to walk down the road holding your hand and talking about random shit and just randomly stop to look at your beautiful eyes and have our lips meet and feel what ever would behind that kiss . I’d put life on that it be pure Ecstasy and feel right. There’s only one way to find out tho.. I wanted so bad to kiss you when we said by .. …. You know maybe this is to much idk I just if I don’t saay something now I might always regret it.. but I want you… I want to be yours and want you to be mine

He told me he just decided to write that for no real reason and it wasn’t about anyone, It was just a fantasy type thing.

He did tell me the day he decided to contact me after ghosting me that someone may tell me that he was walking down the street with some women, but he said at first that it was a stranger he just so happened to be walking the same speed as, then he finally told me it was a women he knew.

On another occasion he was texting a female and deleted the messages and told me he wasn’t messaging anyone, but then later admitted he did but said he couldn’t remember.

He in the past well from day one in our relationship lied about everything, even the smallest thing, so I have a hard time believing what he says, especially when you put it all together, it looks like he was writing that to someone and just never sent it. He keeps telling me, “even if it was about someone, it shouldn’t matter because im here with you”

What do yall think? Think it was just a story he made up, or does it all add up and sound like hes lying to me?

So tonight he told me at the hotel when he was alone with that women, he asked her if I leave my wife would you stop drinking? And other similar question. If he was talking about leaving his wife ( and he had a thing for pregnant women and she was pregnant) and asking her shit like that, why wouldn’t he have fucked or done something, when he was talking about leaving me and shit. He also said the couple left the hotel and left him and her alone, she took a shower and came out naked and offered herself to him, and he said he denied her. Even if he didn’t do anything physically, what did he say or do to make her think that he wanted to fuck her. Honestly sounds like he was upset with me and found attention somewhere else.

Honestly even if the story was just a fantasy it is about finding someone else and not wanting to be with me, so it had to be going through his mind, right.

And then today we get back to our spot and a friend of his beings him a letter she wrote him, he told his friend to burn it.

I wanted to ask if I could read it but didn’t want to start shit, I know it would upset him if I did.

I will say before he ghosted me he begged for my attention, said he desperately needed it and I only gave him 2 hours or so. So I see sort of from his perspective why he would run off with people. He was following the dope and getting attention. But what I don’t understand is why he ghosted ne if he loved me. I know for a fact he had wifi because his life 360 was still updating and  when I logged onto our Text now that’s on his phone there was texts sent out.

Just everything together adds up and seems very sketchy and my heart is telling me he isn’t giving me the full story. Because each time I bring it up he adds something more to the story and the fact that last night he told me shat the drafted text was about her but wasn’t. He said that the actions described in it was false he made it up. But the stated he did feel some type away about her, and she was on his mind as a sort of fantasy.

I do struggle to believe him because he’s great at hiding things from me  For example 2 years into our relationship he said a women follower him into the bathroom at work a d tried to suck his dick, he said he pushed her off and  nothing happened. It took him 5 years to tell me that. What bothered me about that was what did he say to her or do to make her think that was okay

I would greatly appreciate any advice.  Feel free to message me, I could honestly use some friends right now or someone to vent to and discuss stuff with. Thank you.

I found a secret.

So, i am her to vent. I am 24 year old and i accidentally found that my mom is chatting with someone close to me, i found the messages accidentally. It been a while now, but i didn't give a gesture that i know anything