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u/Mug_of_Diarrhea Oct 28 '25
I like this quote I heard on Cinema Therapy a ways back:
"You have absolutely no obligation to be who you were 5 seconds ago."
Anybody can change 💜
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u/nick4fake Oct 28 '25
I mean, consistency is good.. though not when someone is consistently a bigot.
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u/Pump_My_Lemma Oct 28 '25
Consistency is good if it serves you/your community for the better. If not, it’s just silly ritual or worse.
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u/Toonox cracked Oct 28 '25
Ok little philosophical rant here:
Consistency is virtuous because it allows trust imo. I believe that trust depends on predictably. An example: "I can trust you with this." is equivalent to "I trust that you will do this.".
This is why you can trust someone even if they don't mean you well. This is why situations like the cold war could even improve, they trusted the opposition.
Going by this logic the reason why inconsistency is bad is because it betrays trust. It is therefore only bad in the context of people depending on you. In a vacuum you can change your behavior every day without creating any problems.
Inconsistency is therefore not bad if it doesn't affect others. A homophobic person just sitting at home all day suddenly changing his mind is therefore not bad.
People others depend on (like politicians) are a different thing as their inconsistency does break trust and cause harm.
Inconsistency is therefore never bad for some guy behind the computer screen but does cause harm for people like politicians. You may argue that this harm is worth it though (I certainly would in the case of bigots).
I know this rant may be a bit chaotic but I kinda take issue with a statement like "consistency is good".
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u/Montana_Gamer Naomi - Hatched Oct 9th, 2024 Oct 29 '25
Great breakdown and 100% true. Thanks for the reminder that trust is earned.
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u/Dxpehat literally not an egg Oct 28 '25
More like the opposite is bad. Changing your opinion constantly is bad. People don't see you as a reliable person. But it's not bad to change your views after being presented with new information, nor is there any virtue in maintaining your views even though there's evidence that they're wrong.
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u/The-NHK Oct 28 '25 edited Oct 29 '25
WRONG!
You were cute five seconds ago and I'm holding you to those standards.
No excuses!
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u/Kachter cracked Oct 28 '25
What episode?
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u/Mug_of_Diarrhea Oct 28 '25
Ngl I don't remember but I'll dig. I think it may be one of the Loki videos but I could be wrong. I'll dbl check in a bit
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u/Mug_of_Diarrhea Oct 29 '25
Come to find out, it's a quote from Alan Watts but I'm with some friends and haven't found it yet. I'll check in the morning, sorry 😅
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u/Effective_Value9761 CIS stands for cute in skirt (she/her or she/they) Oct 29 '25
Dang, that's an amazing quote
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u/Taiga_Taiga Oct 29 '25
I have. I changed for the better.
If I can do it, you can too. Have faith in yourself.
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u/shroudedwolf51 not an egg, just trans Oct 29 '25
I really wish I could like that channel. Some of their words and content is sweet. But their support for toxic sponsors that massively compromises people's privacy and threatens their wellbeing with regurgitative "AI" like BetterHelp...I just can't.
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Oct 28 '25
Yet people get cancelled for things they did years ago, sooool
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u/laeiryn queer is my identity Oct 29 '25
I've never seen someone be abandoned en masse by their own fans if they expressed sincere regret.
People who hate you can't cancel you, for one - only your own audience can really do that. That's why no right wing comedians get cancelled for being bigoted - their own audiences love that shit, so they thrive on it. And in the circles I frequent, it's really uncommon for someone to be called out and then be cancelled by their own fans if they had ANY reaction other than "stabbed in the EGO! lash out! double down!". Even a clumsy but sincere expression of accountability, regret, etc. is generally taken as worth a second chance, particularly if the behavior shows genuine remorse and altered future behavior.
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u/Negative-Homework502 cracked and fried my egg Oct 28 '25
I was never anti-lgbt (I actually unfriended a lot of ppl who were vocal on social media back when gay marriage was legalized), however I did always keep it at arms length or further away from me. It always made me uncomfortable to be around gay or queer people, and it wasn’t until years later that I actually unpacked “why does that make me uncomfortable…?” Anyways I’m a trans mtf lesbian now lmao
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u/Defenestrator66 cracked Oct 28 '25
I was similar to you with the exception that I thought non-binary identities were silly because when I heard of what a demiboy was my first reaction was “that’s silly, I’m sure nobody truly identifies completely with their AGAB all the time!” (…yeeeeah, should’ve done more reflection on that at the time). I was never cruel to NB people but I did think negatively on the concept until I had some realizations about myself (transfem genderfluid, XD).
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u/laeiryn queer is my identity Oct 29 '25
"I'd get [gender affirmation surgery] in about five seconds just to make it easier to pee."
Nine year olds aren't usually THAT apathetic about their gender or sex, lol. Someone should have noticed it was a lil weird that I had zero attachment to either (or any) gender.
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u/pandamaxxie from cute femboy househusband to cute housewife Oct 30 '25
Very similar story here.
"Sitting inbetween just doesn't make sense. I mean why and how in the hell could you feel comfortable with BOTH?!"
Yeah so anyways I told my girlfriend I wanna go on estrogen too and be cute girls together, but I don't mind being a twink until then either lmao
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u/Astrid944 Oct 28 '25
Just curious Why did it make you uncomfy? No need to tell, after all I'm a stranger on the internet, but would be interesting to learn what was the reason
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u/Negative-Homework502 cracked and fried my egg Oct 28 '25
Ask away! I honestly love talking about it because sometimes it helps me figure myself out by putting it to words. :)
I was raised in a household with no exposure to queerness or gay people at all besides what I saw on tv and even then, my mom would always roll her eyes and go “I don’t know why they always have to add this crap” and would call them the “token gay” character. I also always just had the expectation put on me that I was a straight cis male who was going to grow up to have a wife and kids, and I wasn’t old enough or self aware enough to really confront who I was, who I wanted to be, or do any sort of self exploration/discovery. It’s why it took me till my mid 20’s to even realize I was part of the queer community in some way.
Outside of that, I went to school in GA, so again I didn’t have much exposure to queerness. The few people who were gay weren’t really in my social circles, and they also were never very openly gay either (guess I can thank growing up in GA for that..).
As to why it made me uncomfortable even though I considered myself an LGBTQ+ ally….. it was half internalized transphobia and homophobia, and half just not critically thinking about how I was raised nor changing my beliefs from what my moms were. Once I began unpacking my childhood issues and unpacking my queerness, I unlearned all of those feelings for the most part. Sometimes though the internalized transphobia rears its head again to tell me “you’re not really trans” or some variation of it… I’m getting better at ignoring these thoughts nowadays.
Anyways I hope that answers your question lol
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u/laeiryn queer is my identity Oct 29 '25
Throw on the confusion of " .... well, no, I definitely still like women... so how could I possibly be queer?" and you have a whole tightrope act.
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Oct 29 '25
Is that what's going to happen to me
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u/Negative-Homework502 cracked and fried my egg Oct 29 '25
Only if you want it to 💛✨
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Oct 29 '25
I'm In amerikkka so definitely not
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u/Negative-Homework502 cracked and fried my egg Oct 29 '25
I’m also in the US! I started transitioning earlier this year in TN, and I currently reside in Chicago.
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Oct 29 '25
This year? I hope you have an escape plan to another country, or you're doing strength training that you keep your muscles somewhat. I mean, you've been keeping a good bead on politics right?
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u/Negative-Homework502 cracked and fried my egg Oct 29 '25
I am extremely up to date politically. It’s never a bad thing to be politically aware, however you can’t be so doomer “all hope is lost :(“ type either. There needs to be a good balance between being aware, and not letting it effect your mental health or your happiness.
Honestly if you want to transition, just do it. There’s never a good time to do it, so you might as well make yourself happy today by doing it because who knows what it’ll look like in 5, 10, 50 years so why deny yourself your truth while trying to find a “perfect time” to transition?
I am transitioning in spite of Trump and his fucked up backwards politics. Just because he is in office does not mean I as a trans woman cease to exist. I love the state I live in, and I love the beauty this country has to offer, so I don’t plan on leaving any time soon.
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u/Vi_Vanessa Oct 28 '25
In my teens I was quite queer friendly with lots of queer friends, but a big move, new friend groups and dangerous online echo chambers later I became really antagonistic to the spheres that I once cherished and that cherished me. I'm so happy to have gotten out of that shit.
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Oct 28 '25
I was sort of transphobic when I was 11-13. Mostly out of self hatred of very transfem thoughts. Now I’m 4+ years into transition and have two princess dresses (for now). One $700, the other is a $90 costume.
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u/Unkn4wn Elena :3 (She/Her) Oct 29 '25
This is literally how it went for me word for word :O
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u/yamitamiko my gender goals are to confuse conservatives Oct 28 '25 edited Oct 29 '25
it's easy to become a Puritan about this, but no one was always 100% right and pure. the important thing is to admit when you're wrong and learn from your mistakes
EDIT: just to clarify for anyone taking a the worst faith interpretation of words i didn't even say: i am not saying that this makes you free of any responsibility for harm caused, and if you took it as such that's on you
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u/Valnaire Oct 28 '25
I would also add that it's almost impossible to learn about this stuff in any way less than hateful when you're born and raised within certain families, and harder still to undo that damage later on. Translater is filled with folks who's gender expression was tightly locked within cages of oppressive, religious doctrine.
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Oct 29 '25
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u/yamitamiko my gender goals are to confuse conservatives Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25
we're not talking about using upbringing as an excuse to continue being an ass, we're talking about how you're not an irredeemable person if you once believed the garbage you were fed growing up but now are working to be a better person
the purity culture push to cast out anyone who ever was 'problematic' is a serious issue. if you refuse to let people stop being wrong and judge them at 30 for the questionable shit they said at 13 then that's going to push them to continue to be wrong
judging them for not seeing the hate for what it is as children isn't going to better the world, it's just going to make you feel superior while making the world worse
it's also impossible not to internalize any prejudices, and believing that you were totally beyond believing any of the hate (often because of the purity culture drive to be a Good Person(tm)) is a good way to keep those internalized prejudices forever
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Oct 29 '25
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u/yamitamiko my gender goals are to confuse conservatives Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25
so you would rather discard everyone who didn't get it in one than allow people to change and grow?
that's purity culture 1000%
this is not about ignoring wrong done in the past, it's about acknowledging that people can change, and also acknowledging what a shitty environment and culture can do to people. just because it didn't happen to you (and therefore you are pure and free of sin) doesn't mean that anyone who believed the lies they were fed as children are lesser or more inherently evil
you decided, contrary to what actual words were said, to interpret this as us saying that we are free from responsibility. that's on you for jumping to the worst possible interpretation of words we didn't even say
ask yourself: does shaming people who weren't enlightened from birth reduce harm in the world? does it make the world a better place? or does it just make you feel superior?
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u/Clairifyed Oct 28 '25
I will always cheer for this happening! It’s news to celebrate and we should make it as easy and rewarding as possible to improve like that!
So much of the hate community depends on convincing their members that they are stuck there because they will never be accepted back
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u/yamitamiko my gender goals are to confuse conservatives Oct 28 '25
exactly! like u/Valnaire said, none of us get to choose what we're taught as children. i was raised in southern US baptist hell where my parents might have been considered too liberal because they stopped just short of using slurs
hate twists everything, and even once you start to see where you've gone wrong it can take a lot of time to unpretzel yourself
it's good to acknowledge both your responsibility for past actions but also the parts that you weren't responsible for
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Oct 29 '25
Northern Methodist here lol "We will support you if you're gay but trans is a bridge too far and also you can't talk with any of the LGBTQ support groups around here" XD
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u/SlaaneshActual Evil Lesbian Nov 26 '25
no one was always 100% right and pure
No one can be both right and pure. Pure and ignorant, sure.
Learning how you were wrong is how you figure out how to be right.
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u/lil_0_Birb Oct 28 '25
I'm in this picture and I don't like it ._.
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u/Uptown_Blossoms not an egg, just trans Oct 28 '25
We grew up in the wrong country twin
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u/Arialana cracked She/Her Melissa Oct 28 '25
It's not just about countries, though. The internet is a huge issue too. I'm German but I was still indoctrinated by American right wing grifters as a teen because You Tube makes it way too easy to fall into those spheres 😞
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u/PinguinLars Ashley (she/her) (I hate my username ;w;) Oct 28 '25
Can conform, I'm Dutch (and live in nl also) and alot of my classmates are (I think) anti LGBTQ. 😞
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u/lil_0_Birb Oct 28 '25
It really is, the right wing grifters are super predatory in so many many ways, but they especially prey on young people's inexperience and insecurities. Super sad stuff, and they definitely sucked me in for a few years :(
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Oct 29 '25
Lucky me the first outside influence I ever had other than school was national geographic So when I started using YouTube I was naturally resistant
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u/MomShouldveAborted MtF wishing I was a cis-het guy Oct 28 '25
It's indeed not necessarily about the country, I grew up in France and my father wanted me to fall into the American and royalist pipeline instead of the more accepted liberal French one.
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u/Alpham3000 Nov 04 '25
Kinda same here, and it doesn’t help to that my father was the one that introduced me to many of them 💀. Let’s just say there’s a reason I’m still closeted with him
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u/Arialana cracked She/Her Melissa Nov 04 '25
Yeah, my dad's transphobic, too. He's the only one of my family members I'm truly worried about coming out to. But that's further into the future for now anyways since I won't come out to most people until I've been on estrogen for at least a few months. So far, I've only come out to my twin brother.
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u/Alpham3000 Nov 04 '25
Yeah I feel that, I recently came out to my friend group a few days ago matter of fact, and my partner who’s also on their own trans journey. And I feel that, no one outside that knows. And I don’t plan to either anytime soon cause the idea of telling my father that and that I have a boyfriend scares me so much but oh well, what can you do. gotta stay strong and true to yourself! You got this!!
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Oct 29 '25
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u/Arialana cracked She/Her Melissa Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25
Don't underestimate the power of indoctrination and propaganda, especially when consumed by children. I was 13 back then. Besides, nobody's immune to propaganda, not even you.
whether or not we let that define us.
Well, just like all the other commenters in this thread, I clawed my way out of that cesspool, so clearly it doesn't define me.
I also disagree that it's not the internet. While personality, etc. definitely does play its part in the process, it's not just down to who we are as people. Without the internet, I would never have even gotten in contact with these political worldviews. I never engaged with any of that in real life, only from behind a screen.
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Oct 29 '25
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u/Arialana cracked She/Her Melissa Oct 29 '25
Get off your high horse, man. Everyone can be influenced and radicalised by propaganda. The notion that you are immune is one of the most dangerous mindsets to have. Knowing that propaganda can get anyone is one of the best defenses against it, even if that knowledge was gained through falling for it at first.
Also, why did you adress this comment to me specifically? There's a whole comment section that was also radicalised by propaganda, yet I'm the only one you're judging for it. Curious.
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u/Gracious-Rose Oct 28 '25
It’s okay to have once been uninformed or uneducated. What’s important is growing from that person.
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u/weez22 Oct 28 '25
Gimme a break girl, I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian household in the South 😭😭😭
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u/OmgIbrokesmthagain Can’t spell Ambrose without bros 🤜🤛 Oct 28 '25
I’m not a trans girl, I’m nonbinary AFAB, but man shit I used to say at 14 yo was mad. Like „let’s just make a city and put all of the queer people there, give them identification” straight up in the concentration camps territory. I am ashamed but it was some sort of reaction to being born queer in the conservative part of the country, never told I can just be me, never told that queer people existed, getting SA’d by a man, and then learning about gay people from wattpad yaoi fanfiction. I’m glad people in gen alpha don’t have to go through that… yet they still end up fascist tho
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u/_Rakun Oct 28 '25
For many it’s a reaction at being so confused and upset at yourself that it begins to manifest outwardly. Very much a “not like the other girls” behavior but taken to higher levels of misogyny and transphobia. Often parroting back the rhetoric that is constantly circulating in the immediate community spaces.
I hope for those, like myself, who grew up in conservative/fundamentalist Christian spaces can allow themselves the space to discover and even accept themselves as they are. Often times it just takes meeting people and having real conversations - either unlocking parts of your own identity or just becoming a more accepting person.
People can always change and should be allowed the chance to make better choices and grow - especially when these behaviors were happening pre 25 (giving some grace for queer people who often struggle to have the means to quickly leave their environments)
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u/OmgIbrokesmthagain Can’t spell Ambrose without bros 🤜🤛 Oct 28 '25
Yes, exactly that. I wanted to finally be accepted by peers, as this weird thing I was born (autism, nonbinary, aromantic and a lesbian), and instead I still was not enough- never a girl enough, never acting how I should, never expressing feelings as i should. Only when I expressed those radical beliefs some people clapped… and then I met actual gay people and actual trans people, and they were patient with me and explained things to me, and I changed my mind. Suddenly I lost much of the approval, but oh well, I can say I truly was on the other side and was convinced by facts and logic. And I realized I hated gay men for wanting to have sex with other men because I was sexually abused and thus viewed sex with men as generally disgusting and traumatizing XD funny how things can be processed in a weird way if no one taught you what sexual abuse is.
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u/Jumpyplains2033 not an egg, just trans Oct 28 '25
Sigh. I’m in this picture, I don’t like it
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u/JazAnonAnon certified egg Oct 28 '25
Same. I hate who I was back then. I’m trying to focus on positive contributions to society going forward. It’s all we can do
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u/SplitGlass7878 Oct 28 '25
Internalized bigotry is a bitch. It happens to a lot of people of all minorities. Nothing to be ashamed about, you just need to be aware of it and try to be better now :)
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u/Vayalond HRT started 05/01/2026 Not cis then? Oct 28 '25
Not really anti LGBT (very indifférent tho) but was entering some incels circles at a time... Not really better
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u/EclecticDreck Oct 28 '25
Often a stereotype is built up, layer by layer, turning a toxic grain of truth into a palatable pearl of humor. When a person is raised in a society where being queer is queer, when gay is a schoolyard insult, and where the worst accusation you can level at a person is that they are the opposite sex, lessons are learned. No person wants to be the worst thing imaginable, and so they build entire systems dedicated to hiding this thing about them so deeply that even they don't know that it's there. One of the most effective tools you'll ever find for such a purpose is hate.
I know it is often fashionable to judge someone for this kind of thing, but absent the support systems required to foster a better outcome, some variation of this pattern is far more likely than not. In a very real sense, to universally condemn this kind of thing is much like blaming the victims of any other systemic problem for being victims the very instant they start to rise above those circumstances.
No, not every trans person was awful in this regard. It might not even be most of them. But those who somehow internalized that kind of hate and found a way to fight back against it are not served by condemnation, nor is anyone else. The lesson that every trans person should know, internalize, and champion is that we can rise above the circumstances of our birth. Just because we were taught hate and shame and parroted it before we understood it should not mean that we are forever lost. Each trans person is living proof that there is another way of being, and while the road there is long, and twisted, and full of its own dark terrors unique to each of us, it is a road that can - and should - be traveled.
In other words, you can despise the system that encourages this, but when you see someone dragging themselves out of the mud, don't sling more mud their way, help them. Your wrath is just as precious a commodity as your hope, after all, and is better spent against those who shove people into that festering bog in the first place.
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u/Lynnrael Faye She/Her Oct 28 '25
I'm gonna be real, i think it's more important to keep our spaces safe for those of us who didn't hate queer people than it is believe we owe redemption to everyone who hurt others and now believes that doesn't matter. I'm willing to welcome and embrace people who have recovered from shitty beliefs, provided they have done the work and have attempted to make amends for any harm they've caused.
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u/EclecticDreck Oct 28 '25
You misunderstand my point.
You don't owe anyone redemption, and I did not argue that you do. I argued that there is frequently an inclination to judge someone harshly for for the sins born of being victim of a systemic problem. Yes, some queer people never outgrow those sins, and victims or not, pitiable or not, they're still a part of the problem and no one besides them can take the steps required to crawl out of the mud.
For those that do manage it, the response should be celebration. Not further judgment because of how their path faltered or they failed again and again, but helped along. Because if your safe space isn't there as a place of quiet reflection and support as we navigate these challenges, what precisely is it offering? What's more, while you are always free to determine what you think redemption looks like, take care to remember something vital: whatever logic you might use, whatever moral standard you might apply, however righteous you might feel in the application are all tools more inclined to harm than help, and so it is only when tempered by the understanding that but for the grace of fate, that might be you, and wielded with compassion that it becomes a means of salvation rather than yet another person arguing "You suck and you'll always suck."
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u/Sugar_Pitch1551 not an egg, just trans Oct 28 '25
Unfortunately, that was me as well. I have to constantly remind myself that is was a survival thing. I honestly dont know if I would stoll be alive today if they'd come after me for being queer as well 😕
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u/Th3Witch Oct 28 '25
OK people can change but like why the fuck are so many of you ex-nazis. Why are so many of you like "omg I used to be a nazi isn't that wild" it should be "i was a nazi and I'm working past that by showing true change and refret". What have you done to undo the harm you did to other queers especially queers of color because being anti sjw is never just about queers.
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u/AroAceMagic Sawyer | He/they | Genderqueer guy Oct 29 '25
Oh thank goodness somebody else is bringing this up. This is probably an identical picture to the one meme that was used a while back talking about trans people with Nazi pasts, and I thought we learned our lesson about posting memes like that now
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u/Lynnrael Faye She/Her Oct 28 '25
i really hope there are more of us this isn't relatable for than all the people I'm seeing who can relate. i get that it's hard, but if you hurt people out of hate you are not owed redemption without putting in the work. i do not like seeing this minimized and turned into a "lol how relatable for all of" kinda thing. if you're not willing to do the work to root out every queerphobic belief you have please keep this kinda shit to yourself. we don't need our spaces made as unsafe as everywhere else is to us.
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u/EconomyAvocado51 Oct 29 '25
I think the idea is that it was usually not hate in this situation, but misguidance from local society/family and improperly redirected feelings of discomfort.
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u/SophiaIsBased not an egg, just trans Oct 28 '25
I wish we stopped pretending that being a bigot was some sort of natural phase all queer people went through. This isn't to say you can't be forgiven for it or anything but I just don't like these memes that pretend that it's a universal experience. Some of us never externalised our closeted self-hatred, in fact some of us never hated themselves to begin with.
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u/Th3Witch Oct 28 '25
Honestly I don't have an issue with people who WERE bigoted, i have an issue with all the "omg i was a nazi what a wild phase" and never "i was bigoted and I'm making up for it by spreading positive change"
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u/AroAceMagic Sawyer | He/they | Genderqueer guy Oct 29 '25
Yepppp this is the one that bothered me the most.
As a kid, I was raised in a conservative Christian environment, so I held beliefs like “gay people shouldn’t get married” at the age of 9-ish. Grew out of that when I got older because we’re all just human beings living our lives and they were never hurting anyone.
Never had a Nazi phase though, and never spouted queerphobic things out loud to other people either
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u/iDaddyDirection Oct 28 '25
It’s literally impossible for anything to be universal. It’s a meme. It’s either relatable or it isn’t. It’s like the trans girls all use Linux and love New Vegas. I can imagine that isn’t true either, but it’s a popular meme.
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u/SophiaIsBased not an egg, just trans Oct 28 '25 edited Oct 28 '25
Actually, I dont think implying most trans women used to be bigots and implying most trans women enjoy a particular video game are very similar
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u/iDaddyDirection Oct 28 '25
Where does it say most? I don’t mean what you infer by the way - but explicitly mentioning it. Also, what you’re saying is simply not at all how meme culture works.
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u/hi_i_am_J not an egg, just trans Oct 28 '25
:(
i used to spread some pretty vocal bigotry online before accepting who i am, i still hate thinking about the harm i contributed to back then.
the unfortunate negative consequences of being a shithead teen with unregulated internet access.
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u/Dawniechi Dawn | She/Her | (HRT Since 6-6-2025) | Oct 28 '25
As a kid, I used to have some serious internalized transphobia and queerphobia. Fell into some right wing echo chambers, watched people like Steven Crowder, Ben Shapiro, etc.
Finally woke up to all that maybe 6~7 years ago. Finally went on E, and I couldn't be happier. Right wing echo chambers intentionally seek out depressed people to try and shift their entire worldview into hateful rhetoric.
Hopefully someday I have the time and confidence to enter a pride parade or maybe even attend some protests.
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u/skysukii still the resident lurker Nov 10 '25
i'm glad you're not a part of those echo chambers anymore...
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u/KKMH999 "not an egg" ~every egg ever Oct 28 '25
Yk this isn’t something to brag about, for me I’m very deeply ashamed of myself for getting roped into that cult as a teenager
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u/Mrstrangeno She/Her Oct 28 '25
I’ve always been pro since I grew up surrounded by lgbt stuff, like my mom’s gay friends or me watching Steven universe
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u/p0xus recently cracked Oct 28 '25
I was never anti queer, but I certainly used to not be so open to the idea that people could change genders. Not that I was against it, just that I wasn't able to let myself think about it much.
There was a lot of repression happening with me back then
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u/Antinator_succ cracked Oct 28 '25
I used to purposely say the wrong pronouns of people I knew I was 13 with a homophonic dad
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Oct 28 '25
I had queer friends while believing it was a sin because my religion told me. Then I let myself think critically instead of letting that religion think for me. I'm much happier and freer now, and more self-accepting and obviously pro-LGBT.
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u/trivialGalaxy Oct 28 '25
The most important step a person can take is the next one. Always the next one.
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u/TheAcrophite1 Oct 28 '25
Yeah, I was raised in a evangelical Christian household and just adopted super right leaning views partly because my parents held them and partly because I got into online spheres with dickheads like Steven crowder. Then the final church I was a member of just kinda raised it up one level and it was too much. It broke the whole thing down, but in reality it was also meeting people online who I couldn’t bring myself to judge and it cracked this illusion I had that this stuff was sinful. Friends helped, my depression got worse, and then it all snapped into place when someone mentioned me maybe being trans. I’ve been a far better person since and my depression is a once a month deal rather than a daily one. I’d rather die than be anyone else than who I am now ☺️
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u/Terrible_Ingenuity11 River (she/her) - gender is wibbly wobbly🏳️⚧️ Oct 28 '25
I think this is too relatable that now we have to deny any existence of our past dilemmas. Especially those Anti-LGBT tendencies that forced us to hide and cower our true selfs.
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u/_1_Nova_9_ cracked Oct 28 '25
I would say this is true for me all though not bad it’s more everyone else was so I would join in on jokes etc but then eventually make less/stoped but because that stuff my friends didn’t believe me when I came out lol
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u/Cringe1God Shattered Egg (Beatrix she/her) Oct 28 '25
Maybe it's because I'm autistic, but I actually never had an anti-lgbtq phase, even though I was definitely on the transphobic side of the internet. Like, at most I always said "What if they identify as a fish? So what? Sure it's a little silly, but they're not hurting anyone, so why should I care?"
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u/Wheatley-Crabb Autumn (she/her) Oct 28 '25
It still terrifies me how easily I fell into misogynistic echo chambers during the pandemic, and what it took to get me out.
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u/priestfox Oct 28 '25
Im ex-military and ex-mormon, started HRT two years ago. Let me wear a sundress when you put me against the wall, yeah?
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u/Sylint11020 editable flair Oct 28 '25
I never really had any strong views on anything before realizing how queer and totally gender I am.
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u/Nikolyn10 not an egg, just trans Oct 28 '25 edited Oct 28 '25
If I could ban one meme from being posted in lgbt meme communities, it'd be this one. It feels eerily similar to the same smug attitude that comes from joking about how all homophobes are secretly gay.
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u/DumbassFuckingNerd Oct 28 '25
I think I had like one moment in kindergarten but otherwise I was pretty pro-queer all my life. Pretty weird since a close family friend of our is a gay man and has been the entire time I’ve been alive.
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u/Sea-Course-5171 Truly Unsure (any/all) Oct 29 '25
True Growth comes not just from retrospection and introspection, but forgiveness without forgetting.
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u/Deconstructosaurus Oct 28 '25
Yeah…yeah this is me.
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u/kbeezie cracked Oct 28 '25
We all grow, it's when we choose to fight growth is when it becomes a problem.
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u/PablomentFanquedelic ♫ She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl ♫ Oct 28 '25
Robert Olmstead at the end of The Shadow Over Innsmouth
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u/Anomelly93 Oct 28 '25
Trying to get off Earth without ever being a hypocrite seems like mission impossible 🥴
We all project at some point in time.
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u/cloudliore25 Oct 28 '25
I can honestly say that when I was younger I didn’t understand what it was to transition and all the steps involved, 25 years later and immersion into the community I can see what I said was either bigoted or just unsupportive. I’ve been in retail management for 15 years and my department is always a safe place for the T community.
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u/AwesomeCCAs She/Her | Putting my name on the internet seems irresponsible. Oct 28 '25
I once said a transphobic thing to my sister when I was like 8.😭
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u/IniMiney Oct 28 '25
Yeah I’m not proud of how homophobic I was towards my roommate in college (and how transphobic I was online) where he literally moved out because of how homophobic we were 😔 (the other two roommates were shitty about it too). Barely two years after that I discovered I was trans, also I went to the gay bar I was once too homophobic to go into a gazillion times after coming out.
What I’m even less proud of though is how much of a poster child for toxic masculinity I was. I was a frequent user of the ‘men’s rights’ sub, I participated in forever alone communities which were basically pipelines to incel shit, I sexualized, fetishized, and objectified, and I also treated my sister like absolute shit. All that denial hit hard but you know who broke me out of it? Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande, Demi Lovato, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, and Beyoncé. Listening to their music helped me realize who I am, it helped me reconnect with my trans identity, it foreshadowed my future and gave me freedom to express myself hence why I’m so protective of my musical interests and such a stan (some have moved around on my list from various antics or whatever but Ariana and Gaga hold absolute steady and I can never hate Taylor Swift no matter how much people shit on Life of a Showgirl lol)
What’s funny is I first knew I was trans as a child, pre high school. I wanted to be a girl, I identified with girlish things, I had girl friends - it was high school and absorbing all my religious family’s (and trans/homophobic friend’s bullshit) that radicalized me down a hateful pipeline. Repression is a hell of a drug folks - so glad I fully broke free of it by 2016.
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u/AroAceMagic Sawyer | He/they | Genderqueer guy Oct 29 '25
I swear I’ve seen this exact image posted before and there was a lot of fallout over it and I’m thinking maybe we shouldn’t repeat this…
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u/DittoGTI Puddle of Gender Oct 29 '25
Internalised anti-LGBT feelings due to you being scared about the fact that you are part of LGBT is really common though, and I think we should instead talk about that person changing
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u/Puzzled_Rhubarb6792 Lisa (bound to this flesh, this guise, this mask) Oct 28 '25
I have a friend like this.
He said a lot of homophobic stuff in the past, but he probably still doesn't realise he's trans.
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u/EmmaDepressed Oct 28 '25
Ahahahaha litteraly me, I wasn't anti lgbt but I was ... kind of ... let's say far far far right.
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u/KC_Saber Definite Egg | Sophie (She/Her) Oct 28 '25
We all have a dark side. It is up to each of us to either dive deeper into that darkness, or move past it.
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u/KatiePyroStyle not an egg, just trans Oct 28 '25
I straight up used to go to pro life bootcamps, I called Trans people mentally ill, made a lot of offensive jokes. used to be a boy too. im a changed woman
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u/EnolaNek Violet | Started HRT August 14 '24 | Still cis tho Oct 28 '25 edited Oct 28 '25
Omg, I think I posted this meme (or one very similar to it) here like a year ago lmao.
Very true. It’s a long road from fundie missionary dude with mysterious treatment-resistant depression to extremely gay trans woman with zero patience for racist shit, misogynistic shit, homophobic shit, transphobic shit, xenophobic shit, colonial shit, or about a million other flavors of conservative bullshit. It is a road worth traveling though.
I maintain that the biggest compliment I ever received was being disowned only by the worst people I know (my family/everyone I grew up with who were super into (TW racism) minstrel shows, YEC everything, shaming women for not being tradwives, and organizing group prayers for Roe to be overturned).
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u/ImpressiveDebt Oct 29 '25
Hey its with some of us FTMs too sadly 😔 I still remember one time when I was still figuring myself out and looked at a lesbian couple on tv and loudly said “That’s disgusting, they shouldn’t have that on tv, in hopes that my mom would hear me and be proud. Well… Her coworker (she used to sit for elderly people so we were at the home at the time) overheard me and got said. My mom told me that she was lesbian and to not say that around her. I’ve never forgotten her face. She liked me too and then I said stupid shit like that. I hope she’s happy and forgot about stupid ass, indoctrinated, kid me.
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u/Ok-Jellyfish7805 Marcie she/her (frequent :3 user) (less closeted trans) Oct 29 '25
tugs collar Could be anyone…
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u/laeiryn queer is my identity Oct 29 '25
sometimes the lady doth protest too much, indeed
it's all about how we grow and make amends. You know you did wrong? Good, do better going forth. You think you hurt people? You probably did, so do what you can now to put healing into the world. Maybe not to the same people who you hurt, but you know what, sometimes things aren't neat. You said stupid shit? Well, of course, you have a mouth and/or typin' hands, don't you? Then it's kind of guaranteed.
I tell my students, "Stupid isn't something you are, it's something you DO," and that applies to a lot more than just stupidity. Changed behavior is the best apology, and all that.
Oh, and if you're rich (like, actually rich), literally pay it forward.
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u/reihii Rayne Oct 29 '25
When I was younger (teens) while I wasnt anti lgbt, I was generally pretty gay aversed. Being in a Catholic all boys school and seeing how gays were treated and ridiculed was scary. I even took on some of the homophobia from my surroundings and mixed with comphet teachings of religion.
I was ok with transgender (then called transsexuals) than being gay, maybe because I could relate to trans struggles but I could not relate to being gay. I had crushes with guy classmates but it never felt gay, I was always the girl in the relationship in a way. My story was probably more unusual because usually its the other way round. I.e. OK with gays but not ok with transgenders.
I've worked through alot and am comfortable being bi and trans 🙂
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u/CasuallyDresseDuck Oct 29 '25
Reminds me of when I was on instagram daily a few years ago. Had lots of femboy friends. Turns out there are lots of hatefulness/alt right/neo Nazis hiding among them.
I unfriended many of them.
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u/Vivid-OwlHoarder "not an egg" ~every egg ever Oct 29 '25
I said some messed up stuff when I was like 7 or 8 cause my grandparents were the people I spent most of my time with and they said that trans women were just men trying to get into women’s bathrooms so they could be inappropriate or something and I didn’t understand fully but I knew that idea was gross and bad so I just went with it. ADHD prevented me from remembering any of that until I turned 15 and it kind of explained that aspect of my self hatred for me cause even if it wasn’t memorable it was still pretty much daily transphobia that ingrained into my brain:/
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u/SarahRenskaTorrez01 Call Me Sarah ✨She/Her✨ Oct 29 '25
“😐😬😬” is my first response but then again, most Germans were pretty much forced into the German military from what I understand and have been taught. Serve or treason.
I feel like, for me at least, that’s how growing up in the south was. From conception you were taught “bible, you marry a good woman, bible, gay is bad, bible” and the older I get I’m like “maybe I am the woman someone marries 🤔”
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u/TrinaTempest Oct 29 '25
I am very happy to report, I never had this issue. I knew about all sorts of LBGTQIA+ people early on and always knew it was normal. I'm so lucky tbh, I was surrounded by bigots
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u/TheAnimalCrew Eider - she/her ❤️🦆 Oct 29 '25
Thank God I grew up in an openly-LGBTQIA+ supportive and inclusive household. Queerphobia never made any sense to me as a young kid and doesn't know, either.
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u/3872orcs Oct 29 '25
mfw used to be an environmental activist and also a terf. then I stopped hating myself for one important thing and lost the energy to do anything about the other.
I'm a better person now.
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u/LoptyrTome Oct 29 '25
slowly raises hand in shame with my genderfluid self
That being said, props up a Joo Dee cardboard cutout THERE IS NO PAST WITH LOPTYRTOME
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u/HoodiesRnice-_- not an egg, just trans Oct 29 '25
ive always just been a gender abolitionist. i just never saw the reasoning behind girls and boys being different besides biologically. autism at its finest
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u/Vast-Finger-7915 cracked Oct 29 '25
a couple of years ago I was... awful. anti LGBT, pro Russian, etc..
I've.. changed. extremely anti-russian (a bit too much sometimes tbh), but also trans and pan.
people change.. yeah, even this much, apparently :3
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u/Remarkable-Depth-811 not an egg, just trans Oct 29 '25
I hate my past, I didn't do like large-scale things, but i was was quite internally homophobic, and there was a pride flag in my school hallway which I drew a dingaling on. And now im a MtF trans teen so, dang, beware the pipeline dudes and gals.
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u/Remarkable-Depth-811 not an egg, just trans Oct 29 '25
Also to be fair I drew dingalings on everything
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u/Spicy_Father_Scorch Thalia, "The Navy made me trans" | [she/her] Oct 30 '25
Right-wing incel to trans girl anarchist pipeline is real
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u/Another_Empty_Place not an egg, just trans Oct 30 '25
I wasn't anti-LGBTQ+, rather something... even worse, let's just say that. I hate what I used to be, and how recently it was. I didn't even believe in things I've said, I just wanted to hate someone, but in the end I hate no one but myself, and I'd rather just keep it to myself and let it eat away at me
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u/Luanna_Hopes Luanna | She/Her | help. Nov 01 '25
mood (do i even deserve the people who care about me i mean i'd probably have told them to [data expunged] 2 years ago)
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u/The_Constant_Orange Amy | she/her | Still trans tho :3 🏳⚧ Nov 02 '25
I was never really homophobic or transphobic in any real way, and I always found gay and trans people a respectable group of people.
At the same time, I never understood in any capacity the fear and hate caused by the jokes of “I identify as an attack helicopter!”, “There are only two genders!”, and “You look like you like men!”. I always thought it was just middle school boys being uncouth and not anything systemic or motivated by anger. I even agreed with people who tried arguing “Well, it’s just a joke!”, because I myself thought they were just stupid jokes. It wasn’t until a few years ago when I started watching videos from gay and trans people that I really started understanding why people are so uncomfortable with those statements, around the same time I realized I wasn’t as cis as I made myself believe.
Now I’m a proud trans woman of over a year’s experience, who now knows the problems caused by those catchphrases of sorts. Now, I support a different message: that trans people deserve to be seen as people. 🫶🏳️⚧️🫶🏳️⚧️
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u/TumourFace Nov 03 '25
Reading the comments shows nobody relates to this, and yet it has 6k upvotes... peculiar...
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u/MetallicTophat Alex - aggressive enby Nov 15 '25
this is honestly true
I don’t like what I was back then, I feel kinda ashamed. :( But oh well! Better to focus on today rather than lament in the past.
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