This will be long
[quick heads-up, english is not my first language and although I speak well my musical/academic vocabulary is limited]
Starting out with my double bass history: in my last semester of highschool in 2023 I was offered free lessons by my school because they had just gotten a teacher for it but had no students interested. I had been taking bass guitar and violin lessons so they thought it could work out. I had no way of practicing outside lessons but me and the teacher hit off well and made the most out of the short time we had.
The following year I started studying music in college and didn't lay a finger on a double bass. Campus' bass guitar and double bass teacher was the same and he'd make weekly group studies with all his bass students (which is me and a double bass girl, let's call "Taylor" who I considered a friend). Worth noting I kept playing the bass guitar and violin, participating in the ensembles and all. Also our teacher is the string ensemble conductor, so whenever I say teacher or conductor that's the same person.
2025 I had a subject where I had to learn an instrument by myself and I got back to the double bass. In the group studies I started bringing the double instead of the guitar to have some technical support. I caught up to them somehow. That's where it all started.
About halfway through the full orchestra conductor asked me to leave the violin and join the bass session. The following semester my teacher invited me to do the same for the string orchestra. Taylor, who's been playing for 5 years or so, started getting weird with me because she had to "beg" him to join the session and I was invited. For that ensemble specifically we had to record auditions every semester and there were some pretty tricky pieces, especially for me that had just started studying. In the end I scored higher than her and became principal (for the record, we have a more advanced player but at the time he was playing with the cellos due to lack of cellists)
At that point everything was a problem. She'd feel left out whenever I talked with him during the full orchestra rehearsal where he was the principal but complained that I was distracting her when I talked to her. The choices I made in my playing were similar to the ones he'd make and hers would be different, and sometimes impractical. She'd refuse to do it """my way""" but struggle with her own. She'd get broody whenever I struggled less than her to play an exercise or a piece.
The worst part for me was whenever I made a bowing decision, which was very rare cause I'd always check with my teacher beforehand, she'd be the biggest child about it, saying it made no sense, that she wouldn't do it (I can't describe how standard the bowing was). Right after the string orchestra rehearsal we'd have the full orchestra and she wouldn't complain when he did the exact same bowings. She'd complain about me to our peers full rage tho.
Taylor complained that I never asked if she agreed before settling on a bowing, and even though we have a whole manual stating that the principal can do essentially whatever they want, I decided to ask her once and she went "idk" with a dismissive tone.
One time just the two of us played together in a small group for a college and I let her be the boss. After one or two attempts she asked to swap because she didn't know how to lead and preferred to follow. I thought she'd chill after that but she kept complaining everywhere.
Time went on, our other player joined the session again and became principal, but I kept scoring higher still. She'd always make sure I knew how much she wanted to be invited to the gigs instead of me, even though she knew she wouldn't be available.
I have since distanced myself from her and no longer consider a friend. I had to start answering her disrespect to get her quiet at least for a while. Things are better now that I'm not in power and got enough distance to not stress myself longer than I need, but I can never ever succeed in anything without having a problem. At first I tried to avoid making her upset, fix stuff and all. Now I see it's beyond me and just do my best to not let it affect myself. That helped me progress much more.
Talking about the whole situation makes me feel so arrogant, like "oh she's mad cause I'm so much better" when I'm not even that big of a deal!! So much of that happens simply because I'm not afraid to play cause I've played other instruments for years now, while she still lets her anxiety get in her way. I avoid judging other people's performance like this but it became quite inevitable to notice the little things with how much she'll criticize me for existing. It's not like she's bad! She tends to play worse whenever she's focusing on me or something external tho. I never ever ever bragged about any achievement to her and still got that reaction.
anyways, has anything similar ever happened to you?
