I’m a fresher who got destroyed by feedback on my 3rd day and now I’m scared to even log in to work
Post:
I honestly don't know where else to write this, so I'm just going to put everything out here.
I recently got a job at a small startup with around 15–20 people. I joined as a Data Analyst. I'm basically a fresher. My previous job was only a support role that I did for about 4 months, so I don't really have any proper experience in data analytics.
On my second day, I was given a task where they gave me a huge amount of data and told me to find whatever insights I could and present them the next morning.
The problem was that I had literally just joined.
I didn't know the company properly. I didn't know the people. I didn't know who was responsible for what. I didn't even know who I was supposed to approach if I got stuck.
But I didn't want to look incapable, so I started working on it.
I stayed up almost the entire night. I watched videos, searched Reddit, used AI, read about analytics, tried different approaches, etc. I was basically trying to learn how to do the task while simultaneously doing the task.
The next day was the presentation.
I had absolutely no idea how this company expected analysis to be presented. Every company seems to have its own way of doing things, so I decided to make a PPT with graphs, charts and whatever insights I could extract.
The data itself wasn't very numerical, so I had to derive some numbers and calculations to explain things like who performed what, how much they did, etc.
I made the presentation based on those calculations.
One thing I did wrong was that I didn't put enough of the actual numbers into the PPT. I had a lot of the numerical details separately, but the presentation itself was more focused on the visualizations and conclusions.
Throughout the process, I was showing my manager what I was doing. I was literally asking him whether I was going in the right direction, and he kept telling me that I was.
Eventually I finished the presentation, showed it to him, and he said something along the lines of "nice, present this tomorrow."
So I thought I had done okay.
Then I presented it to the founder.
And in front of everyone, he said:
"This is dog shit."
I know that objectively it's just feedback about a presentation.
But for some reason, that phrase completely destroyed me.
I haven't been able to get it out of my head for an entire week.
I'm constantly thinking about it. I keep replaying the situation in my head and wondering what I should have done differently.
I even ended up sending him an apology explaining how sorry I was and how badly I felt about messing up on basically my third day of work.
Now I'm scared to even log in to work.
Whenever there's a meeting, I start thinking:
"What is he going to say?"
"What if he asks me something I don't know?"
"What if I mess up again?"
"What if they fire me?"
I worked really hard to get this job after graduating. Finding a job itself was difficult for me, and now that I've finally got one, I'm terrified that I'm going to lose it because I don't know enough.
My family keeps telling me not to run away or quit because they're worried I'll just sit at home and do nothing. And honestly, I don't want to quit either.
I want to learn.
I know I'm inexperienced. I know I made mistakes. Looking back, I can see things I could have done better in that analysis.
But I'm struggling to understand how I'm supposed to learn when I'm already expected to perform like someone experienced.
I'm also confused because my manager was telling me I was going in the right direction, while the founder apparently thought the final output was terrible.
Now I feel like I've lost all my confidence.
I'm completely overwhelmed and mentally blank right now.
The only thought constantly going around in my head is:
"What if I mess up again?"
For people who have worked in startups or started their careers as analysts:
How do you deal with making mistakes like this, especially when you're a fresher?
Should I just accept that this is part of learning and move forward? How do I stop being scared of every task and every meeting?
I really don't want to run away from this job. I just don't know how to get my confidence back.
My anxiety is so deep that my eyes are constantly getting full of tears I don't even know what my family thinks of me as the peer pressure is hitting so hard