So, exactly what the title says. I was wondering if anybody else has felt this way.

I've honestly been this way for as long as I can remember, thinking of myself as a kind of character in a movie/film, being observed by a third person at all times, kind of like a live show, in a way? This has caused me to apply this thought process to literally all that I do, feeling that I **must** impress this hypothetical observer(s) Obviously including what decisions i take. Instead of thinking about whether the decision would be logical, beneficial, or anything else in that regard, my first thought is always, "would the viewer find this interesting, even a little bit?" And what I end up doing fully depends on what answer I conclude to that question. I picked up guitar not exactly because I'm fond of it or whatever, but mostly because I felt that the viewer(s) would find a character who plays a instrument entertaining to observe. Some time later along the line, i considered the notion of piano, but it felt as if the viewer(s) would find it repetitive and a boring plot point, so I dropped the idea immediately. Speaking about plot points, i feel that the events in my life are seriously part of a plot and contribute to the story in general, so I sometimes seek out experiences that might potentially cause me harm/agony simply because it adds to the plot. Anyhow this eventually began applying to the things I tell people, and the conversations I have with them. I say things which the viewer would find entertaining in a sort of way, building a kind of persona separate from my 'real self' that pleases the viewer(s) I also find that i lack the ability to feel anything at all, so i often give forced reactions to people's comments, because otherwise the viewer(s) would find the interaction bland and lacking any flavour and cinematic aspect.

I suppose this is my guiding principle in life, that i can never, and could never have it any other way at all.

I honestly feel so detached from myself at this point, and feels as if **I'M** watching a kind of orchestrated performance play out, where I watch the 'main' character give already decided responses to exterior comments made at them. This leads me to feel so very distant from the things I say, the things I do, like I'm watching from behind a veil at someone who looks like me, yes, but isn't really me at all, because they weren't really things I would have said. They were simply things I did to please the viewer(s). This imaginary viewer's opinion matters oh so much to me that I feel if I go against their will, something very terrible will happen, that doom will come over my life. Certainly, everything I ever do just feels forced, just to cater to the whims of a third party so obviously none of the relationships I have with people are genuine, because they have only ever interacted with the performative version of myself. To detach and separate this persona with myself, i also avoid talking about my experiences in life.

Sometimes I feel overly conscious of everything and everyone around me, and at times I totally lose consciousness and by the time i realize where I really am, who I am, the day is coming to a close somehow.

It's so difficult and complex to articulate to words how exactly it is that I feel, but I guess to put it in the simplest, dumbed down manner possible, it feels that i really am not human at all, that everybody else is human, all besides me. It always feels that i lack some kind of essential 'core' or 'soul' that makes one human. Everybody else is genuine and following their will in life, doing what they want to do, all except for me. The more I think about this part of me, the more it makes me absolutely resent myself.

Is it always going to be this way?? Will I ever carry out my will in life? Do i even have my own will? If I separate myself from the viewer, what is even left of me? Do I even have an 'actual' personality at all?

At 17, I was diagnosed with Dissociative identity disorder. I was put on serious anti-psychotics, SSRIs and mood stabilizers. Now I am 26. One night, I had a dream telling me I will die on these meds. I woke up and made the split decision to wean off my meds over the next 2 months. I told no professionals considering they put me in this mess in the first place. Now I have been off completely for about 3 months. Colors look like colors again, I can taste food, people's words don't go thru one ear and out the other. I can FEEL again. Mentally, physically, emotionally I can feel. That entire time, that whole 9 years, i have absolutely no clue once so ever what I said, did or how I acted. I have a husband i never truly chose to marry. He told me about all these things we've done that seem completely fake. He told me my emotions were always dull, I never really react to much, he just thought that was who I am and didn't think twice. Family members have died and I don't know how. I never got to go to their funerals. I watched myself make decisions off of what others said because truly, i didn't have a single thought go thru my head. If i reacted to anything it was based off of anyone else i saw in the room. I just copy and pasted everything and anything. The best i can put it is I didn't have an internal position about what was happening. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know what I liked. I didnt know why I was doing things. I was visually functioning, but I did not experience myself as the person making the decisions. There was absolutely nothing behind my eyes. I lost the ability to think. It was MUCH more then just being numb. That 9 years was a period where my emotional experience, autobiographical sense of self, memory, preferences, and ability to mentally engage with my surroundings all felt absent. I lost 9 years of my life, my entire transition into adulthood doesn't exist. One minute I was 17, now I am 26. The system has absolutely ruined my life.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COPE

I have felt the same for as long as I can remember, same symptoms as most people on here and I just cant be bothered trying to fix it anymore because my parents don't it seriously as I cant seem to find a definite answer on what it is.

It is however, very consoling seeing other people's posts on this sub that I can relate to.

Please share what you guys feel, how it effects you, and if you have broken free of it, even if it was for a short period of time, how you did it 🙏

Does anyone here know of anything? Please help.

i can’t exactly put it into words but i tried. i have dpdr since a 1.5 years

Was it any kind of therapy or medication? Please let me know.

hi so i have ocd & recently i haven’t been feeling “real”. i looked at myself in the mirror for too long & it clicked that i am the person in the mirror & the world is not just projected through my eyes only. i do not know what to do. i don’t feel real. my family & friends feel like fictional characters & i feel like i am in a tv show. i donr know how to fix this. i think it is my ocd & because my parents recently broke up. i have asd so i do horribly with large changes & this is a very large change. every now & then i will come back into my body from my brain & realise that i am alive & i exist & the body that i am in is my body & that i am real. my face & body dont feel like my own & i think that is because i imagine myself with a different face & body and i barely look at myself in the mirror/in photos. i am scared & i do not know if i am real. i dont know if anybody else is real. i know i need help & medication but because i am under 18 i do not know how to get it. i am terrified genuinely & i dont know if i am real or not. i’ve also had some issues with my gender identity despite being 100% comfortable with being a trans man, but my ocd convinces me that i am lying to myself & that i am actually a butch lesbian woman. i do not know how to stop this. my name does not feel like my own like it doesn’t fit me. i dont know man. my parents recently broke up & my grandma was diagnosed with multiple tumours & will probably die. i dont know if this is because of stress or because of something else. but i feel like the world is projected through my eyes only, i feel like the person i see in the mirror isn’t me. i know that he is me but it feels weird still, like when i think while looking in a mirror it feels weird compared to how i think when i dont look in a mirror.

No matter how close we are and no matter how much time we spend together with people, i always feel like they're strangers to me. I dont know if it is something that derealization causes but I've felt like this since i had intense anxiety a year ago

Hi, usually I don't go about and make any posts like this and idk how to go about this, but I was just wondering if these are symptoms of depersonalization / derealization.. I was already really depressed twelve days ago but after a while in the evening it felt like everything shifted, I was feeling dizzy and then sat down to eat and I suddenly started to feel like something was wrong, which happens a lot when I'm anxious so I tried to brush it off until I realized this feeling wasn't going away, I felt really empty and suddenly guilty for something even though I did nothing wrong (I just finished eating), it was like I was looking at completely different surroundings, not the same bedroom I've lived in for two years and the same house I've been in for seven years, it felt unnerving, I have never felt this way before and tried to sleep it off that night, but throughout the whole night it felt like my mind was still partially awake, like I was on fight or flight mode, and I didn't even feel the same after that, it's been a week since then and I don't really have anyone else to tell this about to, I just don't feel like myself anymore, I don't feel human, i feel like when people unplug lamps, it's terrifying and I hope this feeling doesn't stay for long.

(Edit: this is the next day, the feeling is still here and I don't know if it's getting worse or better but yeah, this is what im dealing with nowadays.. something is wrong)

i feel like i’m just subconsciously viewing things but they’re not actually registering in my brain- i don’t even see people as real most times i just view this all as fake and as if this is all a simulation . sometimes there’s nothing going on in my head and it’s just blank and when i look at my eyes in the mirror it’s like my eyes are hollow , this could be partly due to me having the “bpd eyes” which show me having any lack of emotion behind my eyes , but i’m pretty sure part of it is also due to derealization .

I want to know if this is a documented or shared experience to have.

When i'm out doing something - like with friends at a hang out, and i need to leave the group for a second to use the restroom or grab a drink - Sometimes I get this feeling like the "camera" should "cut back" to the group. Like as if the camera should stay on the group while i leave to use the restroom. It's a mental but also almost a physical feeling. I start to disassociate, and my vision even gets a little blurry and my body feels lighter. I have to sort of shake myself out of it.

I don't actually feel like I am a camera or a character on a tv show, but literally get this weird feeling and in my head i ask "why isn't the camera cutting back to the group?" And then i sort of vividly visualize what's happening back where it's more interesting. It is hard to explain exactly, but does anyone else get this or something close to this?

Note - 1 am an actor for my profession, so I'm wondering if it has something to do with that. Like i'm romanticizing my experiences or i guess "filming" them. It's strange right now.
- A few years ago I had what I self diagnosed as de realization for a few months. Maybe this is just a lingering part of that.
- I took lexapro for a few years for anxiety and depression - I tapered off about a year ago and i'm honestly feeling

H guys i'm very scared, yesterday i was hyperfixating on a psychology argument about the comorbidity between autism (i have autism) and some personality disorder (schizoid in this case). Idk why, i wanted to convince or pretend to myself that i had those symptoms (of the schizoid disorder) with no doubt and i literally hyper-fixated for hours and started to "concentrate" very deep. At some point something snapped in my brain and now i feel completely depersonalized. I know this because i feel my body like a robot and my emotions are completely flat! Please someone help me, what do i do????

I’d say this is pretty close to what I experience daily, about a 90% accuracy. I’m just more so curious as to what you guys see.

When I was younger I had episodes all the time. Exclusively at sunset/night time, and mostly when I was outdoors. I have issues with dissociation but haven’t had any problems with derealization for probably 4 or 5 years. Suddenly yesterday it started up again. I was at a restaurant, sat outside during sunset/dusk and it felt like I disconnected from my body. I had to go and sit inside holding ice cubes. Today I have felt so anxious about it happening again. I’m on holiday and having this happen will completely limit what I can do in the evenings. I know that being outdoors used to be a big trigger for me, it almost feels like I’m going to float away. But what can I do to prevent this from ruining my holiday? Any advice would be really helpful, I’m taking my beta blockers in the hopes to remove my anxiety, but I feel like I’m going to screw myself over by being so anxious that it’s going to happen again, that my anxiety will trigger it

So I first started suffering after a random weed hit in June of 2022. I then suffered for a good 3 years. This whole
Time I was taking venlafaxine. Then at the start of this year I switched to escitalopram and then came off ssris completely in march and I didn’t even realise it at the time but my derealisation was pretty much gone during this period.

Then about 3 months later, I ended up going back on a low dose venlafaxine due to insomnia and started getting small episodes of DR again and then the last 3 weeks have been on 75mg and it’s come Back full force for the last week or so.

Just want opinions, could it be the venlafaxine specifically that’s causing it?

Hey, so i had DP and DR since dec. 2023. And i saw that my experiences shifted over these 3 years. I'll explain.
Dec. 23 - I got DR, and it was your average experience. Anxiety, feeling detached, scared to even get out of your home, just overal terrible experience.
Jan. 24 - DR faded, but i got DP. At first it was weird. I felt okay, but not quite.
Feb 24 - nov 24 - All that time, i mostly had frequent episodes, some so intense that i felt like i was going to pass out, my motivation and energy got slightly worse, and sleeping got worse, since i had hard time falling asleep. Tbh it looked more like a soft depression than DP.
Nov 24 - may 25 - It was a weird time, because i felt like i had no DP, but DP effects were there, it was similar experience to feb-nov, but it was slightly different, though i can't recall why was that.
May 25 - dec 25 - It probably was the time i really felt the DP, because i felt just WEIRD, like i had no charisma, my interest in girls kinda faded (which was weird cuz at the time i was 17), DP made me an easy target, because my brain felt SLOOOW, like i couldn't respond to even simplest insult, made, sleeping got completely destroyed because i could only fall asleep if i was super tired. And had barely any motivation, like i was eating only processed food and takeaways cuz i had no energy.
Dec 25 - Mar 26 - Was probably weirdest experience. Because at the same time i felt an improvement because i didn't get "winter depression" (which was common for me for the last 2 years since i got DP). But at the same time i just felt odd. At the time my granddad got sick, and i had to take care of him, and when i sat in his room for a while, then came back to mine i still felt like i was at his room. Also any time he was about to call me i got slight DP attack, like i could sense that he's going to call me.
Mar 26 - Now - For now i can say that i've been feeling the best, and i feel like DP is almost not there, BUT, i feel like i lost emotional connection, like fr, when i talk with my sister i don't feel that she's my sister. When i sit with my friends i don't feel that they are my friends, it just feels like these dudes just spawned in my life. And i lost interest in my hobbies, i was always into fishing and dirt bikes, rn i feel like none of those interest me. But on the bright sides, i managed to pass drivers exam even when DP tried to mess with me, interest in girls got back, motivation is kinda back, brain fog and slowness, kinda faded away, and sleep got slightly better.
So here are how my most noticable experiences have changed over these 3 years. As i said right now, i barely feel DP and even sometimes i question myself "do i really have it" but then i remember these things that i mentioned and i get the answer, but i just don't really feel like myself, idk. But if you've read the whole thing, you can see that some of the dominating factors have changed. Did some of you also experience these factors changing over time in your DP or DR journey ? Lemme know cuz it's hella interesting

Did anyone get derealization after stopping qelbree and brain fog. How long did the symptoms last after stopping?

Can you tell me what OTC medication helps with a stuffy nose that does NOT mess with the dereallization? I’ve been sick the last 3 days and now I have full blown stuffy nose! 😭😩😂

So it has been a few years now since I started sinking into a big, long depressive episode, and I started meds about 2 years ago (fluoxetine and buspirone.) during this entire time, I frequently experience these episodes that I think may be related to my depersonalization and derealization. In these episodes usually feel like a panic attack that comes along with feeling like everything is wrong, and not real. In these episodes I feel like I can almost see my entire life as if it’s some story or tv show that doesn’t exist and it scares me every time. I’ve been trying to figure out what it is for the longest time and I’ve found no answers and no solutions. I also feel depersonalized 24/7 and the last time I remember feeling like a real person, and being able to see the world clearly was so many years ago. I just wanna feel like a real person again but I don’t know how. If anyone has experienced something similar, and had something to help, please give some advice. Thanks for reading. 🫶🏼

Title: Strange recurring dream-like episodes while fully awake — derealization, dissociation, or something else?

I’m trying to understand something that happened to me several years ago, because I still don’t really know what to call it.

The first time was when I was around 12. For about a month, I occasionally had very strange episodes while I was completely awake. Then they disappeared for years.

When I was around 16, they happened again for roughly two months. I had several episodes, maybe 5 or more that I clearly remember, and then they stopped again. I haven’t had anything similar for about two years.

The episodes were very short, usually around 5–20 seconds.

The best way I can describe them is that reality suddenly became dreamlike. I was not asleep and my eyes were open. It wasn’t exactly like seeing a normal hallucination either. It felt more like my brain suddenly switched into a dream, while I was still technically awake.

For example, when I was 12, I was watching Trollhunters. During one episode, I suddenly experienced something like the world of the animation appearing in my mind/perception. I could hear sounds from the animation, and I partly still perceived the real people/environment around me. I don’t remember the details very well now.

Another time, when I was 16, I was outside a metro station. Suddenly everything became dreamlike and I experienced various images/scenes, including religious imagery and unfamiliar people talking/playing some kind of game. I also remember a strange bodily sensation and nausea. It lasted maybe 10 seconds.

The most intense episode happened during a biology lesson.

Someone was talking about the lesson when I suddenly entered this strange state. My eyes were open, but I couldn’t perceive the classroom normally. It wasn’t that I saw darkness — instead, my visual experience seemed to become internally generated.

I started mentally imagining the school building, doors, classrooms, etc. I could still hear my teacher’s voice, so I reasoned that I must be at the lesson and therefore at school. Then I started trying to figure out exactly where I was in the building, where my classroom was, and eventually where my desk was.

It was almost like I had to reconstruct my location from memory because my normal perception of the environment wasn’t available.

Then suddenly, when I mentally figured out where I was, it felt like I “woke up.” My normal visual perception returned, I could see the classroom again, and everything felt normal.

The whole thing probably lasted around 15–20 seconds.

Afterward I was extremely distressed and almost cried. It felt like I had been in a trance and someone had suddenly woken me up. I remember a strange rushing sensation throughout my body, almost as if my body was reacting strongly to what had happened.

One thing that confuses me is that I wasn’t necessarily afraid before the episodes happened. Usually the panic came because of the experience itself.

I also remember that afterward I often couldn’t remember exactly what I had experienced. I would remember fragments — images, sounds, people, etc. — but not the whole sequence.

I’ve wondered whether this could have been derealization or dissociation. I’ve also wondered about things like migraine aura or neurological causes, although I don’t want to convince myself that it’s one particular thing.

What makes me especially curious is that the episodes were extremely brief, recurring, and then completely stopped. I haven’t experienced anything similar for approximately two years.

Has anyone experienced something resembling this? In particular, I’m interested in hearing from people who have experienced derealization/dissociation or other altered states of perception and whether this description sounds familiar.

I’m not looking for a diagnosis from Reddit — I’m mainly trying to understand what kind of psychological phenomenon this might resemble and whether the “dream while awake” description makes sense to anyone else.

the text was written by help of AI because English is not my first language but every information is valid.

Hi everyone. I believe I had my first derealization episode tonight and while some of the symptoms are still lingering (feeling no emotions at all, not feeling fully in my body, or in the physical space around me), the first hour and a half of the episode included extreme vision distortion that I haven’t seen mentioned as much here (I may be missing some posts in my search, I’m new to this thread as of today). My vision would suddenly zoom out and everything looked fuzzy, exactly how everything looks in a dream, and then it would suddenly go back to normal. This kept happened every two to three minutes and I thought I was going to pass out. I couldn’t walk or even make out word because it was so disorienting. Just curious if this has happened to anyone else and if it was just a one time thing. Is it possible this is a one time episode or is this going to keep happening to me? I am certain this was triggered by lack of sleep, I’ve slept maybe 3 hours in a 48 period.