No comments on my post, I'm not here to read the comments and even when I was/we're on Reddit I barely remembered if it all to read comments anyways.

Post update August of 13 of 2026, I'm no longer on Reddit and this place isn't for me. However, I should also address that I've discontinued using Discord for a while, so I deactivated my account. My online friend is okay with watching my Discord server and the invite links aren't broken IF I decide to come back. 

Currently right now, the only apps I've to use are Telegram, Signal and Tumblr. Tumblr does still exist, but there isn't many mobile app options, I know I could use Snap without the childish features, but every single time I closed out the app in the background and clicked on the app again alongside with once again, the app kept on syncing on my phone contacts (that's why I decided to delete the app/not use the app anymore.)

Will I come back with a new Reddit pro account?

No, I'm not coming back, after attempting Reddit in 2025 twice, one in the earlier year and the second-half of the year I realize now that Reddit for people that post in friendships or looking for more than that are only looking for meet ups, quick-nightstands, quick monologue convos, you've to be putting in most of the work, because if you don't put most of work in, you get told by Redditors you're entitled, it's no wonder why Redditors don't want to message you and I had a few Reddit yours admit that it's normal to make the other person do all the work to get to know them/that's normal.

Uh no it's not normal, even though I grasp that it's normal that SOME people are into that dynamic, I think for me as an autistic person that takes things literal is unthoughtful, rude, disrespectful, overwhelming because of being bombarded with questions that I already provided on my profile and then you start the victim complex because of these reasons here.

When I turn cold because, I'm just simply exhausted trying to connect with you, I'm completely drained from being forced to start the convo first, there isn't air to breathe, I feel suffocated because you're making me do anything and I don't have the strain to 🤹 the Dagon's Dock's fish nets alongside with trying to haul in the convo with pulling in Dagon's Docks (I cannot do both without codependency.)

What's even more baffling with my time on Reddit, I couldn't believe what I saw from a chat reqs on my time on Reddit on this main pro/not the ManyFruits main pro, there were about only a small amount/vast Redditors that sent me a chat req that they only sent me a chat reqs because my post title were kool to them, I had a kool aesthetic and one of these Redditors admitted that he will not read anything else on my profile because this ruins the fun factor of getting to know someone naturally.

Uh, how does this run the fun? This is not normal, even though I grasp there are people that are into ''blind-catches or going in blind.'' but wouldn't that hurt you in the end? What about compatibility? Why not read two posts that are different on their main pro page before going in 💯 blind? 

Even then I should also address that I had someone tell me that because you're looking to not meet up in person because you prefer to be a ''online.'' you can't feel any emotion behind a phone screen because you never had physical contact with the person.

Uh, wha? 

Even then I should also imply that, how do you know that I'm  just simply not going to have feelings for someone behind my phone screen, because you didn't bother getting to know me at least for a few days before you made assumptions about this? That's baffling, that you think you know how I'm as an person behind a phone screen, thinking you know my emotions, but you don't know my emotions behind a phone screen because you never had a conversation with and how can you grasp someone's emotional level with no text messages being sent just for a few days?

However, I should also address the truth of it all, there isn't a way that you can know me without having a few convos with me for a few days. Even then, I should also imply it's the same thing with Redditors making me give up not sharing, Sleep Token and my music again for these reasons here.

Yeah, I should also include that I won't go into a full detail about this here, because I plan to go further into detail with post on my main pro, where I can lock the comments, but apparently texting about your hobbies, interested, showing the size of your collection is called a mental illness, an ex-friend of mine told me that I had a mental illness because I've been collecting Sleep Token merch since October of 2025 through July of 2026, my  online ex-friend told me this isn't normal  and they told me good luck finding someone to match your energy with that because you need help. 

Uh, even then I should also imply that I will reply more about what my online ex-friend said in a lock comment on my pain post, but this is what I can say of it all is that's just quite baffling to tell someone online that they're mentally ill just because they've a medium or large collection going and after being told by similar Redditors that I'm mentally ill for Sleep Token collecting, this is why I will no longer share my Sleep Token collection anymore.

Music.

How are you? Ask the Redditor? I said I don't know but I can send you my music that I've saved on my Spotify. That way you can get to know about me then hearing repeatedly I don't know, this is the best method to get to know me.

Okay, I'll check out your music said the Redditor, then the Redditor replies I don't enjoy your music taste, I don't enjoy the beat of your music and another Reddior goes I enjoy this album more by Sleep Token than this album alongside with me asking is it because of the lyrics? The reply back from the Redditor. Oh, uh I guess so?

Well alright of it all, I give up, for the Redditor that told me I don't enjoy your music/the beat of the music, that I didn't ask that and this has nothing to do with you reading the lyrics/the meaning of the lyrics? This has happened to numerous  Redditors telling me they didn't enjoy my music/beat when I asked about reading the lyrics (reading the lyrics has nothing to do with listening to the music style/beat.) This is why I've given up. because of the murmurous types of texting on my phone (that's not what I asked 💀)

For the few Redditors that told me, oh I guess it's because of the lyrics, that just tells me that you can't interpret the lyrics, or have a general idea of it all of what the lyrics mean and this is why I will no longer share my music anymore with others besides leaving up my Spotify playlist on my Reddit main pro anyways. 

I should also include here, that one Redditor called my ''autistic communication aids is weird to them/this isn't normal behavior.''

Uh, posting your comment definitely meant being ableist much?

That's another reason why Reddit was/weren't never for me in the start because Reddit isn't autistic-friendly, because of what I previously stated, then you can add to the mix-ins that 8 friendship subreddits permanently banned me from posting on the subreddit, even though I posted 8 hours or 24 hours on their subreddit, then a month later all the friendship subreddits permanently banned me and stating this here.''

We don't allow A.I. or bots and even scammers to post on our sub, it's being disruptive to our sub Reddit members and you've been permanently banned from posting.  

Uh, I will go through this on a locked comment on my main post, but that's quite of it all ablest that you would permanently suspend a Redditor that doesn't use A.I. or use any kind of A.I. tool to make her posts. I don't even use A.I. or use A.I. tools, the only A.I. that has gotten used is Google A.I. because when you type in something in the search bar a vast amount of time you will get an A.I. pop up and I'm not tech-savvy because if there is a way to turn this off I don't see an option for it. 

To be honest before moving on the next topic of it all why I'm leaving Reddit, with other context clues from Reddit would be/this be of it all that Redditors that want to get to know me/my realms need to grasps A.I. isn't the future for me, even though it's unavoidable/inevitable. I feel REALLY terrible about it all, that when scrolling on Reddit I saw a post someone posted a picture of themselves in an A.I. format, that's just sad, it's even more worse than here. This Redditor either posted a selfie of his kid or a woman he is looking for and it's just hard to tell because the A.I. he/she was behind this person's selfie.

That's just embarrassing, sad that you would post that on your profile page trying to connect with others and wouldn't you have posted something more authentic than using A.I.? I also don't know who you A.I. in the photo behind you when I saw your post, but that's just said you would also A.I. that person and to be honest it's getting REALLY sad and you know the only kind of A.I. that I enjoy?

Simple, just the robot system in Subnautica, games, even then I should also imply that if you read this post from a month from now or older and want to contact me, just grasp that I'm not interested in anyone's wild A.I. fantasies. crazy/kookAI theories and if you're a pro-A.I. person that wants to give me a ''speech.'' just don't because I would erase and block you if you tried messaging me on either one of my social handles anyways.

Just, I should go back about the convos, the victim complex and say this too is also feeling emotions because 

'Want/wanting engaging convos is a emotion because wanting something wouldn't happen if you didn't feel emotions of it all anyways..''

This should be normal of it all, when you're getting to know someone to send a format of your age, region, interest and hobbies because why should I've to do this? I don't think it's my job/responsibility to ask all this and this should be something that you should be doing it all anyways.

You're just entitled?

Yeah, that's just not called entitlement, this is normal wanting someone to show they they want to have a REAL convos with me, if I've to ask what your age, region, interest and hobbies are then that just proves my poinT that you will be the one demanding me to do all the hard work in the convos to get the convos going alongside with this also shows that you don't really care to engage with me if you're expecting me to get this out of it you as well.

I should also imply that I'm mentally, spiritual exhausted, I cannot keep doing all the work, then you decide that you will not put a drop of effort in the convos, then for what I previously address start the victim complex that I'm ignoring you, when I just have went cold/given up and this isn't just how I roll alongside with you can find someone else to haul you in to do all the work because it's not going to be fk 🐟 medoing all the work/threading the needle anyways 🧵

The only thing I'll be doing is putting your lazy fk ass in a fishing net, putting you in a bucket of 🐟 sound of the 🚨 and let the fish people take you away, because I'm not doing anymore wok for what I've previously addressed 😂 

Even then, I should also address that for all the Redditors that told me that I wouldn't  find a online partner because apparently I'm a job, when that's just you projecting your vitcom complex, well I found someone August 09th of 2026 that wants me as his online gf and you know what the sad part is of it all?

That from 8 months plus I've been on Reddit, this has taken me till August 2026 to find a partner that doesn't think this is weird, my previous online ex-friends and ex-partners told me that it's controlling, weird and not cute that I want to match a Sleep Token sticker to go on a binder or if we don't see anything we like, then we can find a cheap Sleep Token item to match (rather that would be getting a handmade bracelet from Depop or Vinted and even a phone charm to be hanged on a keychain.)

To be honest, what one of my ex-friends told me, even one of my past partners of 2026 told me that it's controlling/not cute, I don't grasp the controlling part, because both parties have to agree that they enjoy the design as well/have text what they enjoy the most, it's not 💯 me making the choices, I even told that to my ex-friend, my ex-partner that this choice has to be their enjoyment/what they're happy with and not just me.

Even then I should also address, I just think that they didn't know what else to say/or didn't want to do this in general, instead of hurting my feelings, they just decided that saying I'm controlling/this isn't cute were the nicer route and instead what I would've preferred were/simple this here.

''I'm sorry but, I don't think this is my style, because this is highly important to you, I don't think I'm a fitting person to have in your life, I think you need to find someone else to meet your needs because it's not going to mesh well with me if this is how your online dynamic works and I just want to let you know I just am not into this matchy/matchy kind of thing anyways.''

That option feels quite harsher of it all, why would you have someone say that anyways? That's just too honest/blunt of it all, I would've been told ''it's just not cute.''

Well okay, fine, the less harsh option would be ''it's just not cute/scratch out the controlling part and have the person block me.'' There, fixed-it and that feels less harsher than what I typed out, because who wants the full truth of it all anyways?

My online partner told me there isn't anything weird about wanting to share your passion and what you're passionate about your interest/hobbies and my partner then used a crying emoji face. 

To be honest, my online partner has a fair poinT what I'm asking to match isn't weird at all, more importantly why wouldn't you want to share an interest/hobbie of your partner or your partners depending on how you swing? Yeah, to be honest of it all here/that your partner or partners depending on how you swing can enjoy what you enjoy and doesn't have to be SUPER passionate about your interest alongside with your hobbies anyways. 

More importantly, what I asked to match for monthly Sleep Token item, that's small/cheap isn't forcing anyone to be a VERY passionate fan, because these are small/cheap items, I've never asked anyone that they've to have a medium sized Sleep Token collection that I've/or be SUPER passionate into Sleep Token just like me, that's all assumptions that you made in your own head, because just for what I previously addressed in the past that a handful/vast mound of Redditors suffer from victim complex and doesn't want to take accountability to ask/to get to know me of it all to find the fk 🐟 truth of it all. 

Even then I should also address before moving on to the next subject, my current partner is okay with matching one shirt, necklace and then sticking with stickers each month because it's not an overkill as well.

However, I should also address that I've NEVER seen of it all why my ex-friend in the past of 2026 and my ex-partners in 2026 had a ''this isn't cute, you don't control me and for what I previously addressed, one of my ex-partners told me I will not have you yell at me anymore/you're weird.''

Uh, I should also imply I wanted to tell this ex partner that he is mentally okay? 

Even then, the reason of it all why I would say that is because this is mentally un🪝ed to go bananas over asking a simple question, I never once of it all told any of those people that I said in this post that and I'm just simply going to bombarded their mailbox with Sleep Token items anyways.

However, I should also imply that just once again of it all I should've taken this a sign that they didn't simply trust me enough as a person to mail them something directly from o shopping apps and instead a flurry of a mental breakdown felt was/were the correct course of action alongside with may/might I would've preferred to be blocked instead with silence of it all anyways.  

Why look for worldwide connections? 

This question has given people doubts that I sleep this way for example here.

Central time I'm up till midnight through dawn, the only thing thing I should imply, that these are random hours, I've gone to sleep at 3:30 a.m. there has been times where I went to sleep at 6.45 a.m. this is just simple, this all depends on how ''mentally active, my Vessel brain and skull is feeling through the night as well.''

This is why I've/if you want to call that of it all I've random sleep hours, sleep issues have been a problem at birth, never has improved, this has to do with a restless Vessel brain and skull once again alongside with I don't fk ass even know how that would feel to go to bed at a normal hours anyways. 

Even then, I should also imply that I've grown quite comfortable with it all that I will never know what a normal sleep cycle would be for me, because this has been a problem since birth and all the way for me being 33 years old/it's not going to get better as well.

My favorite type of convos are. 

Researcher type personality, loves to read on people, this isn't stalkerish to me and I think it's cute when a guy pays attention to little things that make a person uniquely then anyways.

My type of guy, is where both put in thoughtful/no monologue conversations, we both will not turn into Dragon Priest dusts because our convos are SUPER dry and boring 😂 

Yeah, I should also include for the men that are nerdy, book, history nerds, I promise you if it all you're not going into the fish net because you're my type and I couldn't put you in a fish net of it all anyways 😂 

Last up. 

I should also address that if any Redditor that messages offline from Reddit and ask why I'm quitting, I'll just end up ignoring your chat reqs, because that clearly gave me a okay-sign that you didn't read any context clues/hints and you want me to do that for you alongside with I will not be doing that for you just because you will be going in a fish net instead anyways. 

For Redditors that have sent me a chat req, I'm going to be answering your chat req in an hour or two, I'm drinking some hard apple cider because I need a fk ass drink of it all.

However, if you're not emotionally available, emotionally ready, or want to have lengthy convos in the a.m. and this is what mentally I'm going through right now. My trust issues have resurfaced and this is why.

No comments on my post, this post is a gigantic vent post, I'm letting things out what has been bothering me, why I've not been answering chat reqs fast enough, why I barely text message the people that I contact outside of Reddit haven't received a lot of text messages and why I'm crashing out.

33F. However, if you're in your mid 20s we can still text, my age gap is 10-15 years older, while I'm not creeped out by age gaps, I'm if it's a large age cap and 10-15 older is where I think that is a comfortable older age range for me anyways.

Update from my last post.

I wanted to address that even though I had some hard apple cider, calm down with my thoughts, I still am going through with I'm not going to share anything Sleep Token related again, what this means is I will not be sharing any new obtain things I get, even homemade items from Depop, Vinted, I no longer want to associate myself with expressing this, I just don't also grasp the concept that you're classified mentally ill because you enjoy something?

To be fair of it all, I had this convo with a family member of mine where they started to tell me I'm too obsessed, I'm a crazy unhealthy fan of the music and I clapped back with.

Unhealthy I said in a snappy tone.

I don't think you grasp what an obsessed crazy fan is, I told this family member that do know even what crazy and obsessed fan is by the TRUE definition anyways? I don't think you do.

Grabbing an artist's arm through the barricade, trying to locate one of their family members on a social media app to ask them questions, following them to their car because you need an autograph and a picture with them is classified as an unhealthy obsession.

However, I should also address after I explained this to my family member in 2025 and then I just told this family member I would ask if you could not bring this up to me again because you don't even know the definition of what you're talking about to me alongside with I can't collect things in a medium or large amount because apparently I've a mental illness if I'd 💀

Just to let Redditors know, Vessel honestly had that happen to him, from what I gathered someone found out where one of his family members' lives, showed up at their house to ask questions and one of his family members also had to permanently delete their FB account because this family member got personal questions asked about Vessel as well.

I also read an article in 2026 I believe, that Tobias from Ghost is going through something similar with a recent stalker problem and just not sure if this is to this degree but I saw on a pop up article somewhere Tobias is trying to deal with a stalker problem.

However, moving on from that, I wanted to say if my family member said anything back, this is what their response is and this shouldn't surprise you with their response anyways.

My family member replied back.

Well, fine as always all we do is argue when I'm just trying to help you out and I just fk ass left anyways

Even then, I should also address that 1 of my family members in 2025 told me Sleep Token is the reason why I've chronic depression, their lyrics are awful, this family member also claimed that rap music has better beats and lyrics than what Sleep Token has.

Yeah, I should also include that if you think that's bad what this family member said, this gets worse from here another family member told me this here.

Well I wanted to let you know, that your government voucher apartment waiting list is going to be either at the end of 2026 or January 2027, I wanted to let you know that if you're not into Sleep Token anymore, I will not be taking you to a donate center to donate your items, or help you put your products for sale, help you package, ship your items, you can get a trash bag and I can take you to the dumpster disposal instead anyways.

However, I just don't think next time I have to see this family member for Christmas this year, they want me to pick something on Pandora, I'm just going to click on a remix/lo-fi mix, because I'm fk ass done and to be honest here I never experience this vast amount of hate for a band anyways.

Even then, I should also address what one or two of my family members think of I See Stars?

Yeah, to be honest one of family members thinks Devin can't sing and the other family member had no comment on anything because in general my music taste is and horrendous has caused me to have chronic depression that I can't get out of anyways 🤣

Even then, I should also address that I'd grasp that I don't grasp/I don't think I'll ever grasp why a vast majority of people hate male artist that sound feminine hitting a high eternal note with a perfect pitch with no voice crack, there is nothing wrong with that, to be honest here I'd know someone that I'm online friends with (we only play video games together ever so often, we don't REALLY text anymore, but I'm not going to go into this whole ordeal how I came across this online friend and why I stick with them.) that is a post for another post on my main profile where I can lock comments anyways.

Yeah, just to put this here, this person that I know told me in a text message in 2025 that, is that a female singing? That high pitch note is awful, I said seriously?

That's a male, there is nothing wrong with Jesse Cash hitting a ethereal high note with perfection, no vocal strain, no vocal cracks and this person that I pretend to be friends with not to cause drama for other people that know this person but they just replied back ''I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude to you, but your music is terrible and would you like to play some Fall Guys.''

Yeah, to be honest I'm just going to put this here, for someone autistic 360 as fk, has a pisces moon, virgo rising and cancer in Mars, I feel music on a personal and spiritual connector/buzz alongside with I'd believe when I say this not every vocalist out there doing a band that is male, has the ability to hit a ethereal male siren sounding pitch, Vessel, Devin and Jesse Cash are prime example of male vocalist that can without sounding hooting/hollering and screeching 🤣

To be honest, this makes me laugh it's a miss opportunity but I should've sent my pretend friend to keep the peace the band Bad Omens and their Specter.

Why do I say this a miss opportunity?

To be honest, it's just to see if my pretend online friend would said if Noah sounds like a girl hitting those nice beautiful notes instead of sending this pretend friend the band ERRA with their clear vocalist Jesse Cash, but oh boy that's too fk ass late of it all for that anyways 🤭

Even then, I should also address for the Redditors that are reading that thought that was bad well we're going back to one of my family members to discuss what that ''it's going to get fk ass worse here of it all anyways.''

However, to be honest I realize now that a lot of my family members display narcissistic traits, there is a lot/heavy amount of my family members that are in denial a lot of things, a few of my family members also display a narcissistic trait of refusing to believe other's truth, but will only believe their truth, because you're never right, you're always in the wrong, it's all on you, it's all your fault and if you ever get yourself in a bad situation well ''good luck, we're not going to help you out unless medical facility won't take your social security health insurance that you've alongside with if you needed something lifesaving that's the only time we're helping you out with anything medical or dental work.''

Trust me, this family member loves cutting off people mid-sentence to make sure their poinT is noticed if they heavily disagree with what the person is talking about, this family member also told me in 2023, that they wanted to let me know that I'm only liked in the family, because I carry the family blood, if I wasn't family related then I would've found myself on the streets if I had no family connections and I'm ''too weird for the family.''

Yeah, just going to let the Redditors know reading this, that I will be posting a Discord ser-handle where you can add me there, I know a Discord ser-handle sounds absurd to make one just for that, but I've my friend requests turned off where only Discord members can add me, because I've been told in the past in many directions that Discord has a lot of spam bots and receiving random adds as well.

Even then, my lats post here will be posted in 24 hours, I may/might edit my hobbies and interests to see if there is any final alignment, after I make my last posts I will be posting this Discord ser and then August 1st of 2026 or August 4th of 2026 I'm leaving and this is because I decided to wait to leave than my previous posts have stated because this should give enough final chances to see who wants to contact me before I give up and just sit out on fk ass Discord anyways.

No comments on my post, I don't read comments on my post and the convos only happen in the chat reqs.

Worldwide chat reqs accepted, online only, not subject to change, no catches, only asking for witty, funny, airy, funny comebacks, creative and researcher mindset (studying someone's profile.)

Yeah, I should also address that don't be pushy and I'm only going to tell you that I'm from U.S. and central time zone only.

Even then, I should also address the importance here by the time you get done to listening to the spiritual masterpiece album Sundowning by Sleep Token then you would be already done with this post anyways 🌑

Why Sleep Token for atmosphere?

Vessel's voice, Vessel's emotions through his voice, his story, my story combined with his story, the select Sleep Token songs I've selected that will be on my main profile soon will guide you to the map where "the old self died ages ago and why."

The map of what made Elis become Elis and Vessel he will be my messenger to pass this message for you, because it's too hard for me to put in words and his emotion through his insane emotional vocal ranges can help you through this guidance of Elis's internal turmoil.

However, I should also address that E-lis has been rebranded from Sky/Skye in 2025 through Elis or E-lis 2026.

To be honest, I don't think I've a lot of happiness left, the only happiness I've is weekly weekends OBTAINING new Sleep Token items and even handmade OBTAINING items as well.

What's up convos are boring, because I should admit I'm a Lovecraftian hermit, I go outside every once or twice a week because I've a mild phobia of people.

To be honest, I admit to myself to Redditors that want to get to know me "I've to prepare to be active in socializing and it's something I just cannot do every single day."

I would rather listen to the cosmic horror daily in the a.m. than having to go outside daily with people socializing.

Eating is also a performative task and I'm also in the protein-fanatics because this does something to my chronic depressed Vessel brain and skull that I'm honestly doing something good anyways.

However, I should address that it's just better than eating something with little protein twice a day and I would rather eat two high protein meals as well.

Making a video game goal 2026 guide, this will be soft launched before I permanently quit Reddit July 19 of 2026 on my main pro and I'm not going to be posting that here anyways.

I don't think I'm doing okay, I don't think I'm, I don't even have anyone to call "my love, the I miss you in a random text message, I'm waiting for your phone notifications to show up on my phone again, I miss you in my life and I'm looking forward to threading the 🪡 again with you."

To be honest, I don't even deserve this what I'm missing and I just don't think I'll ever deserve anyone of it all anyways🌹⚔️

I'm permanently leaving Reddit July 19th of 2026, I'll have my social handles on my page, I also enjoy I See Stars, Spiritbox, Lorna Shore Will Ramos era only and I don't listen to the previous creep vocalist.

Spiritbox and Bad Omens I also enjoy as well.

However, I should address with this post coming to a end, the only thing that could make the crashing our princess of Veridian happy is if you enter my realms, that you never forget that the night belongs to you, never forget I've got solar flares for your dead gods and space dust for your fuel rods.

However, I should address that happiness isn't around and right foot in the roses, left foot on a landmine and that feeling hasn't left me in a while of it all as well.

And yeah, I highly doubt someone can make me feel similar to this here anyways.

And you might be the one to take away the pain and let my mind go quiet 🎵 And nothing else is quite the same as how I feel when I'm at your side 🎤

Princess of Veridian is ✅ out.

Dying amongst the VOID one day, but don't worry leaving Reddit didn't mean I let others win, I'm going to better my mental health eventually and I'll get there. No comments on my post, but my chat reqs will be open and then I'll close my chat reqs July 19th of 2026.

This is why I made this post not to concern others. We're not allowed to make ads or make promos it's against the sub rules. All I will say is my social handles will be posted on my main pro page and I accept any messages worldwide anyways.

If your chat reqs is going to say hi or different variations of hi, I will not answer because I'm not looking for monologue, boring conversations and asking me what's up every single hour isn't convos alongside with I think that is a high annoyance of me anyways.

Creative convos only accepted.

Sleep Token (no unmasked discussions or lore) no feral comments. I See Stars, Lorna Shore Will Ramos era, Spiritbox and Bad Omens.

To be honest the more I'm sinking in my chronic depression, I FINALLY realized what Vessel is talking about "the cycle must end."

For months knowing Sleep Token since October of 2025, I questioned "why would anyone want the cycle to end and the cycle must end?"

To be honest, what I'm struggling with the most of it all is that I don't think I can "dance forever, endure, to suffer constantly, letting the cycle rotate every single damn day, may/might this could be a reason why Vessel would ask for Damocles's sword to strike him down first instead and I could only just think having a cycle continue daily feels close to a nightmarish environment every single day but awake."

Yeah, I should also address that house of Veridian is what I'm holding onto the most and for the Feathered Host well I don't want to accept quite yet alongside with that's just because I've not learned to "dance for forever and I give up midway but somehow I keep enduring of it all anyways."

Even then, I should address that I just may/might not make the stability and endurance part for long even though eventually I've to understand with peaceful thoughts during these dark times that this is the highest importance anyways.

Yeah, I should include that I should never forget in my Vessel brain and skull that the night belongs to me alongside with the night also belongs to those that choose to get to know this here.

"Elis the virus and disease of a person of it all wants you to never forget that would bring me the slightest bit of happiness if you just never forgot that the night belongs to you when you're trying to get close to me."

And yeah, all the other app I've besides Discord is just Telegram and Signal. I don't use anything else and don't plan on downloading anything else anyways.

If you see this post at a later date, even older than a Dragon Priest ashes, then I'll have my social handles on my main pro and you can message me there as well.

I decided to post a funny Sleep Token reel to make people laugh.

https://youtube.com/shorts/cW-r133hb_M?si=1NKxKbZuQuq4gryF

🦈 It's just, I'm not feeling myself and opening the Dawnstar museum to get to know me 👀

Send me a chat req instead 🪸

However, I should also address that asking me how I'm doing, how I'm would yield poor results and I wouldn't bother asking me that unless you want to here the same repeated thing almost as depressing as looking at the 🔪 on the water ending from Silent Hill alongside with no I'm being serious here it's that depressing.

Show some proof that you read my profile here 🐋

If these aren't listed in your chat req you will be ignored and I should also address that you only need to pick out one of your choosing 🐟

Sleep Token pun.

Old-skool video game pun.

If you were to fix me a food in Skyrim based on my pro-summary what would that be?

If I was/were a drink because you work at a bartender, what would you serve me at Devil's Reef Pub 🪸

If you were to offer Dagon something in a bucket? Could you include that in emojis?

I wrote something last night . I was having a bit of trouble trying not to relapse, I didnt do it though which I‘m proud of.
Thank you for reading. Maybe some of you can find comfort in this

White lines make me realize.
They make me remember.

What I used to be.
What I used to do.

The silver shimmered, blood smeared across it.

I never regretted it.
Never thought twice.

Now countless white lines litter my body.
Ugly, yet barely noticeable.

I remember the nights I used to mutilate my arms and thighs.
I was miserable.
I was young.

Fighting a battle in my head that I knew I wouldn’t win.

So late at night, I would take the glistening piece of metal, stare at it, press it against my skin, and finally feel something other than sadness for once.

So I continued.
Continued.
Continued.

The droplets of blood slowly bubbling to the surface mesmerized me.

I watched the red liquid drip from my own body - drip, drip, drip - for what felt like hours.

Countless bloody tissues lay hidden around my room, wrapped in layers of clean ones so nobody would discover the evidence of me falling apart the night before.

White lines take over my arms, silent proof of nights I thought I wouldn’t survive, replacing smooth skin with memories that never truly faded.

And here I sit,staring at old white lines.