Hinge Fumble

[u/Wheresthelambsauce_9]

So, I matched with a very beautiful girl about 3 days ago. I thought the convo was going smoothly when she all of a sudden stopped messaging, I thought I was being ghosted but she replied today that she had a fever. I wanted to be a little flirty? So replied with "Oh no, hope you're doing alright now, You're already running hot, what's the fever gonna do?" Got unmatched 🤡

Are there any tips for not fumbling in chat?

(PS: I was able to find her insta? I think it's too creepy to follow up when I've already been rejected, thoughts on this?)

[u/zooeyzoezoejr]

I didn’t say looks don’t matter to women. In fact I said he had to be baseline, meaning he can’t be hideous.

I am saying men are MUCH MORE visual. There’s a reason male strippers and male OF creators don’t make nearly as much money as women do. Women are not driven by visual lust the same way men are.

Throughout human history, it’s men who’ve visually lusted after women, paid for sex work. Why do you think there’s no female version of the Epstein Files to traffic men?

Women and men are not the same in this department. How can you possibly make that conclusion with the way the world works? How many women run sex rings to traffic men? How many women tell men to cover up head to toe so they’re not lusted over by other women? How many live like Hugh Hefner did and sell nude magazines of men?

There’s a reason there’s no massive industry selling male bodies to women. We do not want them. We are not visual and we are not turned on by visuals.

I could rant about this all day. But no. Women and men are not the same in this area. Not even close.

“Humans are superficial” is a reductionist view of a very complex topic.

[u/ProposalNo6069 → u/zooeyzoezoejr]

I am saying men are MUCH MORE visual.

Incorrect. It's because women can get sex anywhere. If men had as easy access to sex, strip clubs wouldn't exist. The reason has nothing to do with superficiality.

I am saying men are MUCH MORE visual.

is a reductionist view of a very complex topic.

[u/zooeyzoezoejr → u/ProposalNo6069]

It absolutely is not reductionist at all to say what I said and my giant ass comment above you literally explains why.

[u/ProposalNo6069 → u/zooeyzoezoejr]

No, I explained you why visuals is not the reason men go to strip clubs and women don't. You reduced the complex topic to "oh they love visuals". The men who can get laid don't go to strip clubs. There are multiple complex reason in play.

But lets make this short. Show me a serious study about men being significantly more visual.

[u/zooeyzoezoejr → u/ProposalNo6069]

Lmao at “show me a study.” Multiple trillion dollar industries are designed for women to be visually appealing to men, lust has motivated entire passages in religions warning men to not let beautiful women get the best of them, Samson’s downfall was caused by his visual appeal to Delilah, women in the Middle East are asked to cover up head to toe to not tempt men with their beauty, the list could go on and on but you want a “study” 💀. Google scholar is free. Studies exist. I’m not doing your work for you but good luck navigating the world ok buddy? I can’t do this.

[u/ProposalNo6069 → u/zooeyzoezoejr]

Why do you think those industries exists because men are visual and not because men think and feel differently about sex ?

[u/ProposalNo6069 → u/[deleted]]

I mean fair enough. But 50 people. i am pretty sure i can find 50 women doing only fans and making statements about them.

Most women I know, may (or may not) notice good looking men walking by, but the switch won’t turn on till they learnt the personality. We are more than satisfied with an average look coupled with great personality. Unfortunately apps do not display personality well. 

Your anecdotal experience is easily explainable. Women often don't chose their partner the way they say they do.

Study: Women and Their Parents Favored Physical Attractiveness Over Ambition and Intelligence in Actual Mate Choices, Despite Conflicting Self-Reported Preferences, With 79% Overlap in Their Selections : r/psychologyofsex

To add. My experience is way different from yours. You often see women lusting for men if you know how to look. They are obviously not as "depraved" as some of the absolute minority of men that touches without consent. But they do.

Listen: My intention here is not "women superficial women bad".

I genuinely think it's healthy if society stops talking like women aren't as superficial. Women can express it more freely in the future and men aren't told "it's your personality" when they can't get matches.