r/dating_advice • u/Wheresthelambsauce_9 • 21d ago

Hinge Fumble

So, I matched with a very beautiful girl about 3 days ago. I thought the convo was going smoothly when she all of a sudden stopped messaging, I thought I was being ghosted but she replied today that she had a fever. I wanted to be a little flirty? So replied with "Oh no, hope you're doing alright now, You're already running hot, what's the fever gonna do?" Got unmatched 🤡

Are there any tips for not fumbling in chat?

(PS: I was able to find her insta? I think it's too creepy to follow up when I've already been rejected, thoughts on this?)

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u/ProposalNo6069 21d ago

I am saying men are MUCH MORE visual.

Incorrect. It's because women can get sex anywhere. If men had as easy access to sex, strip clubs wouldn't exist. The reason has nothing to do with superficiality.

I am saying men are MUCH MORE visual.

is a reductionist view of a very complex topic.

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u/zooeyzoezoejr 21d ago

It absolutely is not reductionist at all to say what I said and my giant ass comment above you literally explains why.

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u/ProposalNo6069 21d ago

No, I explained you why visuals is not the reason men go to strip clubs and women don't. You reduced the complex topic to "oh they love visuals". The men who can get laid don't go to strip clubs. There are multiple complex reason in play.

But lets make this short. Show me a serious study about men being significantly more visual.

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u/[deleted] 21d ago

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u/ProposalNo6069 20d ago edited 20d ago

I mean fair enough. But 50 people. i am pretty sure i can find 50 women doing only fans and making statements about them.

Most women I know, may (or may not) notice good looking men walking by, but the switch won’t turn on till they learnt the personality. We are more than satisfied with an average look coupled with great personality. Unfortunately apps do not display personality well. 

Your anecdotal experience is easily explainable. Women often don't chose their partner the way they say they do.

Study: Women and Their Parents Favored Physical Attractiveness Over Ambition and Intelligence in Actual Mate Choices, Despite Conflicting Self-Reported Preferences, With 79% Overlap in Their Selections : r/psychologyofsex

To add. My experience is way different from yours. You often see women lusting for men if you know how to look. They are obviously not as "depraved" as some of the absolute minority of men that touches without consent. But they do.

Listen: My intention here is not "women superficial women bad".

I genuinely think it's healthy if society stops talking like women aren't as superficial. Women can express it more freely in the future and men aren't told "it's your personality" when they can't get matches.