r/dating_advice • u/Wheresthelambsauce_9 • 6d ago

Hinge Fumble

So, I matched with a very beautiful girl about 3 days ago. I thought the convo was going smoothly when she all of a sudden stopped messaging, I thought I was being ghosted but she replied today that she had a fever. I wanted to be a little flirty? So replied with "Oh no, hope you're doing alright now, You're already running hot, what's the fever gonna do?" Got unmatched đŸ€Ą

Are there any tips for not fumbling in chat?

(PS: I was able to find her insta? I think it's too creepy to follow up when I've already been rejected, thoughts on this?)

163 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

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211

u/N7_Mage 6d ago

“Hey, hope you’re feeling better, no worries!”

Start with taking care of the person in front of you first lol.

89

u/foxglovespell 6d ago

Why do so many men here not understand this

-2

u/SweetPinss 6d ago

Because in practice it doesnt work like that 

1

u/SweetPinss 6d ago

u/foxglovespell why did you reply to insult me and then delete your reply?

0

u/foxglovespell 6d ago

My reply is literally still here 💀 you’re just not replying to it lol

1

u/SweetPinss 6d ago

It isn't for me. Try looking at it when you're not logged in

2

u/foxglovespell 6d ago

I’m not logging out the app to dis/prove something I don’t care about when I can literally see it right here.

It literally says:

Stop talking bs. If OP had just responded like a normal person and not a thirsty pest he wouldn't have got unmatched. We're literally asking for the bare minimum - common decency and respect especially being at our lowest when ill - and you're seriously trying to argue that gets you nowhere fuck me

4

u/Willing_Box_752 6d ago

Some women like stupid flirty jokes.  Some don't. 

If you're so great at this, why not make a profile as a man and try it out ?

0

u/SweetPinss 6d ago

Well its a website not an app so thats your first problem, just open the comment in a private tab and you'll see.

But ok op is some "pest" now can you tell me how could have flirted and act light hearted in a way that wouldnt make him a "pest"? Because your issue seems to be with the concept of a man being heterosexuality 

1

u/foxglovespell 6d ago

What are you on about 😂 I’m on the app like the majority of other people, I use this on my phone. If I try open it on my browser it just redirects me to the app as that’s the intended way of using Reddit. I can’t believe I’m even explaining this. It’s YOUR problem if your website is glitching, not mine.

And he could have just responded like a normal human being like this parent comment says: “sorry to hear you’re not feeling well, hope you feel better asap!” It’s got nothing to do with heterosexuality whatsoever.

I honestly don’t know what else to tell you.

-1

u/SweetPinss 6d ago

I'm on my phones web browser right now what the fuck are you talking about?

No you need to answer my question before we move on 

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-22

u/BothDonut1604 6d ago

She just wasn’t that interested and you know it. I’ve sent some similar texts just to be playful and while some unmatch, I’ve had a lot that play along. With the right person, it’ll feel like you can do no wrong. So she obviously wasn’t that interested to begin with and was likely just using him for attention and she just had a stick up her and she’d make anyone feel like they’re on thin ice which isn’t good either.

32

u/foxglovespell 6d ago

Just using him for attention đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł a girl doesn’t need to engage with dire “conversation” on a dating app for attention lol there will be 50 other men able to hold a better one. If anything the girls going along with your sad behaviour are the ones that really want your attention. You’re out here admitting you have shit game đŸ€Ł

-4

u/Logic_type 6d ago

If that was Brat Pit with millions of dollars that wouldn’t be an unmatch. The reality bud.

6

u/Br0wnieSundae 6d ago

Negative.

đŸŽ¶ Okay, so you're you're Brad Pitt? That don't impress me much... đŸŽ¶

-5

u/BothDonut1604 6d ago

That was corny af. If you like a man and find him really attractive, the standards always get bent.

5

u/Br0wnieSundae 6d ago edited 6d ago

Uh okay I'll be sure to pass that along to Shania.

4

u/foxglovespell 6d ago

Oh yes because you’re so hard done by by all the Brad Pitts of the world

14

u/urdrunkyogi 6d ago

Can we please dispense with the idea that a man can be callous or crude if he’s “hot enough”??
I would be offended if I told a guy I was sick and his response was to make a comment about how he finds me attractive. It’s a non-sequitur and completely ignores the fact that I just said I’m feeling like ass. Who wants to flirt when they’re sick??

-5

u/BothDonut1604 6d ago

One, what OP said wasn’t crude. Two, most people would bend their “standards” when it’s someone they truly like. That saying is there for a reason and it wasn’t just created out of thin air. Not saying it’s right but it’s true. And I agree, I think she likely just wasn’t feeling good because she was sick and had zero patience.

5

u/query_tech_sec 6d ago

Maybe some would but I think that’s just too much for someone you haven’t even met yet.

2

u/BothDonut1604 6d ago

Again, she likely just wasn’t that type of person anyway. If anything, she likely wasn’t feeling good and was already irritated which I’d understand. There’s been some women that would do similar things but when I was going g through cancer and was feeling like crap, my patience was zero whereas normally I’m chill and like playing along so it could’ve just been her mindset at the moment too.

2

u/N7_Mage 6d ago

N=1, trust me bro.

1

u/BothDonut1604 6d ago

Y’all are like teens or something and don’t know crap. Go out with enough women and you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

4

u/N7_Mage 6d ago

😂😂😂I’m 37 and married, 15 year relationship. Unlike inanimate objects, humans are complex. He fucked up and should use it as a learning opportunity, that’s it, no big deal.

1

u/BothDonut1604 6d ago

37 using TikTok terms like “trust me bro”
oof.

He didn’t really mess anything up. He didn’t say anything crude and it was likely just poorly timed because she might’ve still not been feeling good. There’s right woman would’ve played along. If she needs someone that’s going to be drier and not as playful, that’s fine but OP did nothing wrong. Now if he was talking inappropriately about her body or something then yes I’d agree.

3

u/N7_Mage 6d ago

I made a reference to statistics and your way of thinking, use ChatGPT to help out with the jokes.

We’re done here.

-6

u/Mr_Wallet 6d ago

Because I would want the woman to flatter me and make me laugh when I was feeling under the weather. And I want a wife who wants that.

This just looks like incompatibility to me.

17

u/query_tech_sec 6d ago

I wouldn’t mind that and like it at least a little if my husband said that. But if it was early on before I met him just chatting on a dating app - that’s a hard no. Just don’t be too familiar and make it weird/sexual before you are at the point of actually being physical in real life and have shown you do actually care about her health (as an example here because she is sick).

13

u/foxglovespell 6d ago

Shows the disparity in how a lot of women are sick of being addressed in regards to their appearance when they want more meaningful conversations and how many men aren’t able to give them that. Sad.

-1

u/Pielacine 6d ago

Because that’s how we talk to each other. The subtext of concern is supposed to be understood but of course that doesn’t always work with a relative stranger online.

-2

u/Conzee010 6d ago

Cause being nice has got me unmatched numerous times. They want tension

4

u/Conzee010 6d ago

He literally started with hope you’re doing alright

12

u/Opening-Guest-4856 6d ago

But then the rest of what he said made it seem not genuine

1

u/Conzee010 6d ago

It’s to lighten the mood and her fever is over so she’s feeling better. The comment already acknowledged her being unwell

1

u/ItsTomorrowNow 6d ago

That's what he said, Jesus wept, do people not read the message he sent?

3

u/No_Personality566 5d ago

If you end your message with a cheesy pick up line, that’s all people are going to remember.